Teach Me?

Jim Ellison walked through the crowded Bullpen, having nothing on his mind but getting his paperwork finished. When he heard Blair's name, he stopped for a moment and listened. In the break room, Rafe and Brown could be heard talking.

"I think Sandburg thinks he's better than us. We've tried to invite him to everything for the station and he always begs off." Brown told Rafe.

"I agree. He must not like us. I know he likes Jim, but probably doesn't like any of us." Jim could tell that Rafe was hurt from the tone in his voice.

Jim walked off thinking about how he could approach this at home.

As he passed the bulletin board, he saw the sign up sheet for the baseball team. He stopped, didn't think twice about it and signed he and Blair up.

As he finished his work at his desk, Blair walked up and glared at him.

"What?" Jim asked.

"Why did you sign me up for the team? I'm busy. I can't do it. Now they'll be irritated with me." Blair stood there with his arms folded over his chest, looking very much like an angry person.

"I'm sorry, Chief. I truly am sorry. I wasn't thinking. We always do everything together and I took you for granted. I'll explain to everyone."

"Never mind, I already told them I was busy and took care of it." Blair sat down; heart beating way faster than it should be and began to do his paperwork.

At the end of the day, Rafe walked up and asked, "Want to go to Sullivan's for a drink and some darts?"

"Sure, we'd love to." Jim got up and grabbed his jacket.

"Jim, I have some work to do. I'll see you at home." Blair went back to his paperwork and didn't see the disappointment in all of the men's faces.

Once they arrived, they ordered a drink and began to talk.

"So what's up with Sandburg?" Simon asked.

"Nothing. He's just busy. Why are you all making such a big deal out of this?" Jim replied.

Brown stared Jim down and said, "Because he doesn't like us. He thinks he's better than us."

Jim shook his head from side to side, hoping the story would change. // Nope, same story. //

Rafe acted a little nervous as he asked, "Ellison, does he do things with just you?"

"Well sure. We go to Hockey games and Basketball games all the time."

"Why doesn't he want to be on the Bullpen baseball team then?" Simon wondered aloud.

"Honestly, I have no idea. Now that I'm thinking about it, he's never asked to go to a Baseball game with me or has he watched one on television." Jim stood and began to pace in front of his friends. "What's happening? Why is he afraid of us all of a sudden?"

"No one said he was afraid. I think maybe he's not as wild about us as you are." Henri said.

"You know that's bullshit. He loves you all and who has the most enjoyment on Fridays with Poker?"

"That's true, Jim." Joel nodded his head in agreement.

The men continued to try and figure this whole thing out, while Blair Sandburg went home to an empty loft.

His heart hurt. It honest to god, hurt. When he was a child, he wanted to belong to a baseball team so badly. But he never had and when he got older, no one offered to show him the ropes. At 15 he started college and there was no time to worry about it after that.

Now, for the fourth year in a row, the Bullpen gang were bugging him to join the team. He was 31 fucking years old. Too damn old to learn a new sport. And how embarrassing would that be anyhow? // Yo, Jim. I need you to teach me how to play baseball. Yeah, I know I'm 31. I'm not normal. //

There were times when he really disliked him Mother. This was one of them. Every time she had found a man in her life that was good for Blair, she moved on. // Sandburg, you're too old to keep blaming your mom. Grow up. //

He went into his bedroom and began to read the book on baseball. He had tried to read this four times and he just couldn't get it. But Blair wasn't one to give up.

When Jim came home, Blair came walking out and said, "Hungry?"

"No thank you." Jim walked quietly up his stairs.

// Oh goody, he's pissed now. //

Jim locked up the place an hour later. He listened to Blair's heartbeat and found it beating normally and his breathing pattern was that of a very relaxed sleeping person. Jim then got ready for bed and let himself fall to sleep.

Blair was in the middle of a dream. He couldn't wake up. Jim was leaving him. Jim was never going to love him. And it was all because he didn't know how to play baseball.

Jim woke from a sound sleep, sat up and heard Blair's whimpers. "Jim, don't leave me. Jim, please don't leave me. I love you. I'll learn to do everything right. Please love me."

Jim walked downstairs and looked at his friend. He had the sweetest face Jim had ever seen. Jim wanted Blair, too, so this might work out all right.

He kneeled down next to Blair's bed and touched his Guide's sturdy face with tenderness and longing. "Chief, wanna wake up for me?"

"Jim, why are you down here?"

"Because you were crying in your sleep. You were asking me not to leave you. You said you loved me. Is this true?"

"Yeah, it's true. I can be out by tomorrow." Blair turned on his side, thinking Jim would leave.