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Ray K. and Fraser, stood on deck of the replicated HMS Bounty, satisfied with the outcome of their latest quest. They had every reason to take pride in their mutual work. Once more they had successfully solved a case and not only arrested a murderer and bank robber, but revealed the mystery about the dreaded ghost ship “Robert McKenzie”, and prevented an environmental disaster. The sun was shining brightly, the mood of everyone on board was light, but these two men – previously friends and partners - felt uncomfortable in each other’s company. They had reached a crossroads, and they both knew it.
The last few days had been tough. The euphemism of the proverbial rollercoaster ride didn’t come close to the true events. The sequence had started when Fraser had forced Ray to jump into the harbor basin. Ray was scared to death because of his nonexistent swimming abilities. Like a miracle he lived through the dangerous jump, followed by a narrow escape from the murderous, icy water which threatened to drown him, just to see the reinforcements coming in exactly as he reached dry ground. The latest outrageous and life-endangering situation the damn Mountie had dragged him into had him blazing with anger.
He couldn’t remember how often they had ended up in deadly danger since they had partnered-up a few months ago. Ray had no idea what he was up to, when he agreed to replace the undercover officer in the 27th precinct. Madness, excitement, success, madness and the totally unworldly point of view and behavior of Ray Vecchio’s partner – Benton Fraser – the most incredible, ingenious, perfect maniac he had ever met.
Ray’s bottled-up and conflicting emotions meeting Fraser’s inhuman logical attitude had erupted in a heated argument which ended with the hard blow Ray delivered to Fraser’s jaw. All of a sudden, the anger and fear for his life had disappeared and been replaced by shame, by the realization of what he had done, the chilly feeling Fraser’s stunned and hurt expression evoked in him.
Ray had messed it up – again – and he knew it. He had crossed a line, unable to step back and undo it, lost for words, unable to apologize. And slowly a new fear crept out of the corners of his mind, but he pushed it away neither willing to accept its existence nor its meaning. The transfer he was offered only shortly afterwards had been a surprise, but had given him a welcome reason to keep on acting along these lines and push Fraser further away, sparing Ray the necessity of facing the mess he had caused and to deal with the consequences.
Without hesitation Fraser had answered his call for a meeting at the dock, visible crushing his hopes as Ray issued his true intention: breaking up their partnership and settling scores. Ray wasn’t sure why he felt the need to see his partner one more time, needed to feel the physical pain, actually called for it since Fraser was unwilling to dish him out what Ray had given all too willingly – and would probably regret for the rest of his sorry life.
When he was honest with himself, he knew damn well, he wouldn’t find a partner like Fraser again, a man like him, a true friend. Maybe he just wanted to wipe out the memory of that damn baffled and accusatory look on Fraser’s face. Maybe he wanted to stop the turmoil raging through his innermost self. Whatever his intention was, Ray failed once more, or to be more precise the circumstances negated his plan.
Within a blink of an eye both officers were involved in a new case – a final case – unbelievable and ludicrous like any other they had solved before, a merry-go-round of pirates, treasures, ghost ships, environmental pollution, hardened criminals and a rescue mission hilarious beyond imagination.
And Fraser had surprised him again and again. The man was a walking miracle. How easily he had slipped into the routine of a sailor, despite his attitude perfectly blending in with the crew. The newly given examples of his incredible knowledge. And he had saved his life more than once today. Well, after he had endangered it in the first place, but nevertheless Fraser had come to get him when the ship was sinking, stayed at his side as they both were bound to drown, yet finding a way – an outrageous way – to save both of their lives. He remembered the look on Fraser’s face, when he found him cuffed to a pipe. Remembered his hands on his body, his lips ... and he knew he would never meet a man like him again. Fraser was one of a kind, the last of his breed.
When they had entered – yeah, actually entered - the “Wailing Yankee”, they had been a perfect team again, an infallible duo, unbeatable and completely in sync. Pure magic. The image of Fraser was burnt into his mind: standing proud and tall, and crossing with expert marksmanship Gilbert Wallace’s plans. Fuck, he was the perfect specimen. A damned Avenger. Perfect beyond perfection.
There was nothing, nothing, this man wouldn’t know or handle. Fraser’s damn perfection made Ray feel even worse about himself, knowing his own shortcomings and underlining his imperfection unintentionally. It drove him crazy to perform so poorly beside a man so easy to like, so easy to ...
Hell, no! Ray’s sarcasm made it impossible to end the sentence even in his mind. But he had strong feelings, at least whenever Fraser didn’t drive him crazy. Now, considering the depth of his annoyance his feelings were always beyond measure.
Ray didn’t reveal any of his thoughts but stared at the lake, only intermittently wondering what Fraser was pondering. Probably he was calculating the volume of the lake regarding inflow, runoff and amount of most recent rainfall. Inwardly he sighed.
For a while they just watched the waves of Lake Superior and listened to the cheerful voices of their companions, while an awkward silence reigned between them. They had tried to talk before, but words didn’t come easily.
“You’re going to take the transfer?” Ray asked after a while.
Fraser threw him a sidelong glance. “I don’t think so. Will you?”
“Me? No.”
“Ah. Alright,” Fraser said and nodded, his face unreadable.
Ray took in a slow breath. “So, we are ... we are still...?”
“I think so.”
“Alright.” Silence spread once more as Ray relaxed a notch and pondered how to put his next question.
“Now, Fraser ... that thing you did, with your mouth ... you did this before?” Ray asked casually.
“The buddy breathing?”
“Uh-huh.” Ray nodded.
“A lot,” his friend confirmed.
Ray’s eyes widened bit as he shifted his weight to his other leg. “With other men?”
“Of course,” Fraser nodded. “It’s an essential part of the RCN diving training which I had the honor to attend to, and that is almost exclusively attended by men due to the fact....”
“Alright. Understood,” Ray cut him off, obviously uncomfortable. “So, it really doesn’t change a thing between us, huh?”
“That’s right. It doesn’t change anything.”
Ray’s shoulders slumped impalpably. He turned his head and met Fraser’s eyes for a brief moment. His expression conjured a small frown on the Mountie’s forehead.
“Alright.” Ray’s voice was tight as he turned away again.
Fraser knit his brow a bit more, not rightly understanding what he was seeing. Feelings were a difficult thing to deal with, hard to interpret and even harder to express. He could stop right here and be alright, but everything about Ray broadcast that there was more to it, so he fell back to a reliable strategy and continued, “In fact, the buddy breathing is a very effective rescue technique for divers, invented in the 1960s with the intention ...”
“Shut up, Fraser,” Ray cut him off harshly. “I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t understand it anyway.”
Fraser looked at him in puzzlement, then tilted his head and rubbed his brow. Suddenly, recognition lit up his face. “Ah.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I ... I think I understand now...”
Ray threw him a quizzical glance.
“It’s ... it’s about ... what could have changed...”
Annoyed Ray tried to interrupt him, but the Mountie raised his hand and stopped his friend. “Please let me try to explain. You asked if it would change anything between us and I answered you that it didn’t.”
“Yeah, Frase, fuck. That’s what I understood the first time, alright.”
“No, Ray, I think you don’t understand the full meaning. It didn’t change a thing for me.”
Ray stared at him, trying to read the well-known face, as words slowly sank in.
“You mean .... you are saying...?”
Fraser nodded.
“Oh.” Ray paused. “Ooohhhh!” He glanced at Fraser again. “Not a thing?”
“Precisely.” Fraser nodded.
“So, what you are saying is – you wouldn’t mind doing this ... this .... buddy breathing thing again – with me...?”
“That’s absolutely right,” Fraser replied, his stance erect like a flagpole, his eyes deep and dark.
“Maybe even ... anticipate it...?”
“Very much so.”
“So, you’re saying, you....” Ray’s voice trailed off.
“Yes, Ray,” Fraser answered softly.
“But...”
“Do you think it really matters? To me? Does it matter to you?”
“No.” Ray thought about it for a while. “No, I guess not. But in a way it does.”
They exchanged a brief smile, warm and comforting before they turned and faced the sea again, side by side, their shoulders almost touching, and enjoyed each other’s presence in silence.
“Things will stay pretty much the same for us, I guess?” Ray offered.
“Mostly, at least the important things. Well, on the other hand maybe not the most important things, but...”
“Frase – shut up,” Ray cut him off, his voice soft and warm like a summer breeze.
They glanced at each other, smiled conspiratorially and looked into distance again, while a new path started to form its foggy shape in their minds, a shared path, bright and promising...