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John Sheppard had four days off, and he was utterly miserable about it. Mandatory rest periods, indeed.
After leaving the Air Force to become a commercial pilot, in an effort to try and save his marriage, he still ended up separating from Nancy. It wasn't the additional time together that drove them apart, but rather the time that they'd spent alone. It gave John the time to figure out exactly who he was, even though he'd pretty much known his entire life. It took 35 years and countless sleepless nights to admit it to himself finally.
The only bad thing about being a commercial pilot was the limitations on flying. It wasn't like the Air Force, which would let John fly every single day if he wanted. But the world of commercial aviation meant that airlines had to answer to the FAA. And that included the FAA mandated rest periods after a certain number of hours flying. For someone like John, tethered to nothing and feeling free in the boundless blue sky, it meant he usually bumped up against the limits regularly. More often than not he would take trips for a buddy who needed to stay home for family reasons and was always available during cold and flu season. The same job that he loved and offered him that much freedom came with a catch. So when he'd racked up more than 290 flying hours in the last 24 days, it meant that John had nowhere to go but home.
Thing was, John didn't really have a home; his house with Nancy long sold even before the divorce was complete, and it wasn't like John was welcome in his father's house after he'd come out. Patrick Sheppard had been emphatic about severing ties, even as John's brother Dave and his wife sat back and watched after John had shown up one night with news about his latest promotion. All John had to claim as his own was a small condo near the Atlanta airport. He was lucky that the condo had come furnished, so all he had to do was bring his clothes to make it his own.
On the morning of his first mandatory rest day, his time spent drinking bitter coffee and poring over the private boards for airline pilots, John decided to get out of his condo and go for a drive. He stepped outside into a gray day, which matched his mood perfectly. After getting behind the wheel, he decided to drive until something changed and ended up putting miles behind him. It wasn't until he noticed he was in a picturesque square with a quaint downtown area, full of storefronts with red-clay brick façades that he glanced at his watch, and realized he'd been driving for almost two hours. As he continued to drive down the town's main street, he stopped near a marquee, lit bright white that shone brilliantly in contrast to the overcast skies, with red block letters that declared, ‘Welcome To Downtown Athens!' He blinked and rubbed his dry eyes hidden underneath his sunglasses as he realized where he was.
His stomach began to grumble, and John realized that he'd not eaten anything that morning, so he found a picturesque diner along the main drag and pulled into a parking space out front. He pulled off his aviators and tossed them into the seat next to him, then got out of his Jeep, bundling into the black hoodie, used more for camouflage than comfort, as he walked. Off to the side of the diner was a large van with a ton of cables coming out of it, which made John curious. But he knew that Athens was a music city, and figured that had to be it. The town had made countless bands famous over the years, from The B52s to R.E.M., so someone nearby was probably setting up a concert.
"Table for one?" the cheerful hostess asked as John walked up to her. He gave her a forced smile and a nod, and then followed her through the mostly empty restaurant. With another glance to his watch, he realized it was 10:30 a.m., which was that odd time of day for restaurants because it was too early for lunch, but the breakfast crowd had mostly come and gone. All that seemed to be left were a few stragglers here and there. At least she settled him into a spot away from most other diners.
"Coffee?" the hostess asked.
"Yes, please," John replied. When she walked away, he looked over the menu, then closed it and tossed it to the side of the table. He gave the waitress his order when she came by with the smallest of interactions.
John took a sip of the rich, hot brew as a handsome man wearing khakis and a "I'm With Genius" t-shirt was seated directly across from him. The man nodded at John as he rubbed his hands together like he was cold. The only thing was, it was in the mid-70s, both inside the restaurant and out, so most likely the man was nervous. John had seen it many a time from hundreds of passengers on his flights. Sure, there was a smile on their face when he would walk through the cabin. But as soon as you hit one little pocket of turbulence, their skin would blanch at how tight they gripped the armrest. This broad-shouldered man sitting across from John was holding onto something with as much worry as a frazzled traveler.
For a second, John dismissed the analytical side of his brain and just let himself check out the fellow diner across from him, albeit discreetly. John hadn't dated all that much ever since his divorce, but this was the type of man that generally would get his attention. The broad shoulders were a favorite trait, but it was what remained hidden underneath that made John look twice. There was the tiniest bit of a belly hiding under the beige shirt, which – hello, new kink. And above it were two perky nipples that poked straight out against the thin material. He looked up to get another look at the handsome man and suddenly found himself under scrutiny by two beautiful blue eyes that reminded him of the yaw of the noonday sky, accompanied by a crooked smile. John blushed and immediately turned away as the guilt of being caught overwhelmed him.
He didn't look back until a few minutes later when he heard the click-clack of high heels against the hardwood floors and glanced up just as his attractive stranger stood and hugged a woman, nearly as beautiful as him. It made John feel even more guilty for checking out a guy who was apparently in some sort of relationship until he heard the woman say, "Hey, big brother."
John got his breakfast and started picking at it half-heartedly when the brother and sister first spoke quietly and then got a little more animated. He didn't want to intrude on their private conversation, but it was like they were talking loud enough for nearly everyone in the place to hear them. The sister threw around a few tense words, like "opening up" and "emotionally constipated" that almost prompted John to turn around to watch. But it wasn't until the handsome stranger forcefully slapped his palms on the table and declared, "Jeannie, I'm gay!" that John involuntarily gave in, and looked first at the sister, Jeannie, and then at the man that sat across from her.
"What? What do you mean you're gay?" There were a few seconds of silence, followed by, "Meredith? What do you mean, you're gay?" Except for the second time she asked it, there was practically venom spit along with her words.
"I'm gay, Jeannie. Always have been." His voice was quiet and heartbreaking.
"That's a load of bull, Meredith," she replied. "You're not gay. What? Is this because I call you Meredith all the time? Because that's your freaking name. But what? If I start calling you Rodney you'll get over it and stop this nonsense?"
John sat, fascinated. And at the same time, horrified with himself because he allowed the thought, ‘Rodney's a much hotter name than Meredith' to scatter across his brain.
"It doesn't matter what you call me, Jeannie," Rodney responded. And yeah – Rodney sounded so much better to John. "I've been gay my whole life. I've just never accepted it. Until now."
"Well I'm not accepting it," Jeannie spat back at him as she slammed a fist on the table. "How could you do this? How could you do this to me? You're the only family I have left. You have to keep the family name going on-"
"I can adopt-"
"Adopt?" Jeannie almost screamed. By now, even those that weren't paying attention to them before now sat riveted by the scene they were causing. "They won't let someone like your kind adopt a kid. You'd probably make it gay, too. Besides, it wouldn't even be related to me."
Another silence stretched out, and John felt his heart in his throat. He watched as Rodney reached out and too his sister's hand, but looked like someone had slapped him when she yanked her hand away. "Don't touch me!" She pushed back from the table to give herself even more distance and sat with her arms crossed in defiance of Rodney's news.
John had had this conversation himself once. It didn't matter if it was the conversation he'd had with Nancy or with Dave; he knew how angry and hurtful the other person's words and actions were. How damaging they could be. It made his heart go out to this stranger just six feet, but a world, away.
"But," Jeannie said, her voice a little quieter now, "what about all those women you dated? That doctor? That botanist?"
"I was lying to myself," Rodney replied. He took a deep breath as he wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. "All this time. I mean I've known, but I couldn't accept it. So I did what I thought I was supposed to do. But all I was doing was lying to myself."
"And to them," Jeannie said. "You lied to them," she said as she stood up from the chair. "You liked to your friends. You lied to your family." She picked up her purse, then slammed a hand on the table. "And you lied to me."
The slam of her hand against the table echoed around the silence of the restaurant. It was the only sound until she pushed her chair back in. She turned and stormed out. But even with her gone, John could feel the oppressiveness of her presence lingering in the room.
Before he could think about it, John stood up from his seat and went and sat at the table right next to Rodney. He put his arm around Rodney's broad shoulders, then minutely shook his head when the waitress started toward them. Rodney flinched as John put his hand on his shoulder, but John didn't let go. "Hey," he said, voice barely above a whisper.
Rodney's breathing went ragged, and it sounded like he was about to hyperventilate, so John pushed the table out of the way, then put his hand on Rodney's back and urged him to lean down. "Head between your knees, buddy," John said. The stranger did as John suggested, and John rubbed his back for a few minutes until Rodney's breath evened out. When he sat back up, tears had streaked down his face.
"I'm sorry," Rodney said as he grabbed the napkin and pushed the tears away. "I didn't mean to bother you."
"You're not bothering me," John said. He got up and grabbed the water from his table and handed it to Rodney. "Here, drink this," he said, pushing the glass back in Rodney's hand, then sat back down. "It's okay," he just kept saying as Rodney drank. "It's gonna be okay."
Rodney finally looked at John, the red-rimmed eyes breaking John's heart more with each teardrop. "Did you hear what she said?" Rodney asked. "How can someone say that?"
"Family says some stupid things sometimes," John replied. "Believe me. But you have to remember you're living your life for you – not them. You have to do what's right for you."
"Even if it means tearing up my entire family?"
"Yes," John said, even as the memories of his own family's response tainted his thoughts. He tried to push them away, hoping it would be better for Rodney. "There's a damned good chance that, once you give her some time, you'll be able to have a relationship again. Promise."
Sad blue eyes searched John, which made his heart ache.
"How could you make that promise?" Rodney asked. "And why would she say such awful things. She's the only family I have left."
Before John could respond, the click-clack of high heels against the hardwood floors announced the arrival of Jeannie once again. "Oh, nice. What is this?" she asked as she stepped up to them, crossed her arms, and glared daggers at John. "This your boyfriend, Meredith? Is this the man that corrupted you-"
John stood up and stepped around Rodney, all while keeping a hand on his back. "Now look, miss."
"I don't need any lip from your kind-"
"Well, you're gonna get some, if you like it or not." John took a deep breath as Jeannie gave him an icy glare cold enough to set frost along the windows. "I'm just a guy who watched as a brave fella poured his heart out to his sister, and all he got in return was her stomping on his life."
"Well, he deserves it for what he did." She cut her eyes at John, then turned to Rodney. "I wanted to come back and tell him," she turned to Rodney, "to not come to Madison's party next week. You're not welcome."
Those final three words echoed around John's head. They were the same ones John's father had uttered the last time John had seen him. He used those feelings as fuel to help guide just the right words from his lips. "You know what, lady? You're not good enough to be his sister. Anyone who treats their family the way you are treating him doesn't deserve to be in their lives."
"Fine by me," Jeannie spat, then turned.
John couldn't help it when he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. He stepped in front of her and searched the blue eyes that seemed exactly like Rodney's. "Listen," he said, this time a little quieter. "You don't really mean that." When she tried to pull away, John let his hand drop to his side but stepped in front of her. "I want you to ask yourself something. If you walked out that door right now, are you prepared to go the rest of your life without your family? Without someone who thought of you as so important that he let you in on the secret he's been holding his entire life?"
Jeannie turned her head, but not before John saw tears in the corner of her eyes.
"And – god forbid – he walked out that door right now and got hit by a bus, would you want the last words you ever said to him to be filled with hate?"
Jeannie slowly turned back to John. "I…" she said, then wiped her eyes. "I can't do this right now."
"So don't," John replied as he took another step closer. "Tell your brother that you care about him, but you have your own things to work out right now. Then go and spend some time by yourself and figure it out. He'll be here when you're ready."
Jeannie nodded at him as John let go, then handed her a napkin from the table. She dabbed at her eyes and her nose, then turned to Rodney. John finally got to look at Rodney, who had tears in his own eyes, which broke his heart even more. He watched as Jeannie reached out and grabbed Rodney's wrist, then squeezed. "I'm gonna need some time, big brother."
"It's okay," Rodney whispered.
When Jeannie looked at John, the vitriol and hate were gone. "Thank you," she said, then touched John's arm. She squeezed it, then walked out of the restaurant much quieter than she had walked back in.
The moment stretched until John took a deep breath, then blew it out. He didn't like getting involved in other people's lives, much less doing something so public. But he couldn't sit by and not defend someone and going through the hell that he'd gone through himself. "Okay, then," he said with the smallest of smiles, then walked back and took the seat next to Rodney.
"Why did you do that?" Rodney asked.
"Because I wanted to help." John blew out another sigh. "When I was in the military, my mantra was ‘leave no man behind.' And you didn't deserve to be left behind by your family." He gave Rodney a weak smile. "She'll come around."
Rodney looked down at the table, with almost a look of guilt on his face. But before John could ask what was wrong, he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up, expecting Rodney's sister to be a few feet away. But instead, he was facing a man with a microphone, a couple of camera operators, and various other technical people. It was utterly confusing until he heard the reporter speak. "Hi there. I'm with ABC News and this is the TV show ‘What Would You Do?'"
~*~*~
After the dust had settled on the TV show and the reporter, camera operators, and all the various staff had vacated, ready to re-set the scene for later that afternoon, John and Rodney remained at Rodney's original table, just talking. Though it was the first time that they'd met, the more they talked, the longer it felt like they'd known each other.
"You know, you're an excellent actor," John finally said as the waitress refilled his water glass. "I mean you had me completely convinced that this thing was going down." As memories of the incident played in his head, he added, "And the lady that played your sister-"
"Real sister, by the way," Rodney added.
"Well I hate to say this, but she may be just a bit better than you." He looked at Rodney, after a look of horror had plastered quickly across his face, and added, "No offense. It's just that…" John parsed his words carefully. "I really, really kinda hated her during all that."
Rodney considered John's words, then smiled. "Understandable," he said. "But if it helps, she was supportive of me when I came out to her a few years back." He smiled. "Tried to set me up with all kinds of guys, but nobody really caught my interest."
That took John aback for a second. "Oh, so you're really gay then?"
With a blush that went to his ears, Rodney said, "Umm, yeah. Is that a problem?"
John couldn't help but smile. This wonderful, confident man sitting next to him had once again shown the slightest hint of insecurity. "Well if you were just coming out, I was going to ask if you wanted to join me for dinner." At Rodney's incredulous look, he added, "As a friend."
Rodney smiled. "And what, now that you know that I've been out for a while?"
They shared a brief pause. "Are you seeing anybody?"
Rodney shook his head much more forcefully than he'd done in the short time John knew him. It was amusing, in an adorable kind of way. He leaned a little closer to Rodney. He kept his voice quiet as he asked, "Do I hold your interest, Rodney?"
Instead of answering, Rodney leaned forward, cutting the distance between them and pressed his lips to John's. They felt slightly chapped, but John didn't care. He reveled in the feeling of Rodney's lips against his own until Rodney's hand touched the side of his jaw. John couldn't help but lean into the warmth. And when they finally parted, he opened his eyes to find Rodney's eyes glowing and a broad smile on his face.
"Very much so," was all Rodney said.