SquidgeWorld Archive

Of Myths And Musings: Sweet Dreams
by Merlin7

Rodney was worried. He was trapped in the Puddle Jumper with Major Sheppard. They had gone on a scouting expedition to the mainland. To an area that the Athosian's had not yet explored themselves. It was on the far side of the mainland. And all had gone well until Rodney had somehow managed to set off some kind of force field. A self made force field that was emitted from the Jumper itself. He hadn't been able to get it to shut off by the time darkness fell upon them so the Major had suggested they just stay put until daylight. Weir, back on base, had concurred. They had food, not that the Major had eaten any, which worried Rodney for a whole lot of reasons. "You need to eat," Rodney stated, as he slid into the co pilot's seat and held out a sandwich.

John made a face at it and shook his head. "Not hungry. Maybe later."

"You're too thin."

"I'm not thin!"

Rodney gave in a thorough once over, not missing an inch. So to speak. His eyes came to linger on Sheppard's face. "You are too thin. Must be nice."

John sighed and went back to checking the control panels. Touching them lightly and trying to connect with them. But the force field had, seemingly, neutralized his connection with the ancient technology. After a moment he gave up and sighed again, then made a request. "Change of subject please."

"Okay." Rodney was more than willing to comply. He had a bug up his butt about something and had wanted to confront Sheppard about it for weeks. Now was his chance. "Why didn't you tell me you're smart?" he demanded.

"Excuse me?" John frowned at McKay. "What are you talking about?"

Rodney glared at him. He wasn't in the mood for games. "You're a friggin' genius...why didn't you tell me?"

John winced then rubbed a hand over his face. "I wondered how long it would take you to figure out I'm good in math."

"Good?" Rodney was stunned. "Good?" he repeated. "You're a mathematical genius. Don't you know what that means?"

"I'm good at math?"

Rodney resisted the urge to slap the smug look off John's face. Not that it didn't look good. Hell, even brooding looked good on Major Sheppard. Realizing that he was letting himself get distracted, Rodney put himself back on track. "Let me spell it out for you, Major," he drawled. "Since you're a mathemetical genius that means you have a genius level IQ. IQ's are not selective. You're not just smart in math. You're smart...period."

John shook his head. "Nope. The math thing is just a fluke."

"Liar!" Rodney watched the Major jerk in reaction and was pleased. "Elizabeth told me."

"She what?" Anger flared in John's voice and glittered in his eyes. "She had no right!"

Rodney realized he probably shouldn't have said that and hastened to explain ."Look...we were discussing things..you know, the future and all and I made some rather dismissive comment about you and she got pissed and pointed out how you were always besting me in all things mathematical and it kinda escalated from there. So..don't be mad at her, okay?"

The anger in John's eyes faded, but it still tinged his voice. "I think it's time for another subject change."

"No..I want to talk about this," Rodney insisted.

"There's nothing to talk about," John countered, shifting out of the pilot seat. He headed for the back of the puddle jumper and stretched out on one of the long seats. He was tired. Bone tired.

Rodney followed him and sat down on the seat across from him. "It's not fair, you know." He was determined to have this out with the Major.

John sighed yet again, but figured he might as well play along and let McKay get this out of his system. "What's not fair?"

"You." Rodney stood up and paced the confines of the jumper. "You're popular. You're skinny. You're brave and a hero and all that crap. You have the ancient gene in full force, which burns my ass more than you know. All things which were annoying enough. But you're fucking beautiful on top of that and now I have to deal with the fact that you're smart too. Cause you know what? That's the one thing I had over you, Major. I was smarter."

"Brother.." John whispered, then he began to laugh.

Rodney stared at him in disbelief. "You think that's funny?"

John half sat up, supporting himself on his elbows. "Um...did you just call me beautiful?"

"Fuck!" Rodney started pacing again. He hadn't meant to let that part come out but he wouldn't deny it. John Sheppard's beauty was one of Rodney's main gripes. "Yeah...I said it," he snapped. "So what?"

"So..it's funny," John replied, then he slowly sat up, biting back a moan as he did so. Made to rise to his feet but his knees buckled and he felt hands catch him and ease him back down onto the seat.

Rodney suddenly realized that the Major was deathly pale and shaking. And even through the uniform jacket, he could feel the searing heat of Sheppard's skin. "You're burning up!" Rodney exclaimed. Panic flared through him. "Why didn't you tell me you're sick?"

John laid back down and rubbed his temples, trying to ease the pounding ache that had settled there. "Not sick," he stated, rather petutantly. LIke a child would. "Just...got a headache."

"And a fever." Rodney felt scared and exasperated. "Sit up. You need to take your jacket off." He put actions to words and pulled the Major into a sitting position. He started tugging the jacket off and was glad when Sheppard started to help him. Got it off then bunched it to put under the Major's head as a pillow. "Lay back," Rodney ordered, easing him back down.

"THanks." John did feel a bit better now.

Rodney studied him. Sheppard was wearing a black tee shirt that clung to his slim form, outlining the curved pecs and flat stomach. Rodney wondered what it would be like to be so trim, then shook away the thought. He moved to the Major's backpack and withdrew his canteen. "Drink some water so you don't get dehydrated," he stated, as he moved back to Sheppard's side. Helped him sit up again and watched closely as the Major drank. He had this sensual grace that irked Rodney even as it captivated him. Drinking water from a canteen shouldn't be sexy, but it was when John did it. Everything John did was sexy. The way he walked, the way he talked. McKay swallowed a sigh. Now he was thinking of him as John. He couldn't let himself get so personal. "Better?" he asked, when John...the Major...handed back the canteen.

John nodded. "Better. THanks again. So...what do you want to talk about?"

"We need to get you back," Rodney stated. "I should contact Beckett." Thankfully they could still transmitt through the forcefield. Which was strange but just one more anomaly Rodney would puzzle out once they were back in Atlantis.

"Don't call the doc," John countered. "I'm okay, really. I'll just lay here and rest and let you talk to me."

Rodney sighed and gave in, but only after pressing his palm John's face and he did feel a bit cooler. "Fine...what do you want to talk about?"

John shifted onto his side so he could look at McKay. "Why are you so jealous of me? You have no reason to be so insecure. And....just for the record. You're still smarter than me....okay?"

"You're patronizing me," Rodney shot back, and he knew he was being childish, but so what?

"I'm not patronizing you," John replied. "You have these misconceptions about me, Rodney. I'm just trying to set you straight."

Rodney was not convinced. "Misconceptions? LIke what? You're everything I said you are and you can't deny it. You're popular --"

John rolled his eyes and said, "You could be popular too. Stop being such an arrogant ass and people will like you better."

"You're skinny," Rodney continued, as if John had not interrupted him.

"I'm not skinny!" John hissed, anger flaring in his eyes at what he considered to be an insult. "I'm..lean."

It was Rodney's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever. You're not fat and you eat as much as I do." He was whining and he didn't care. It drove him nuts that the Major could eat and eat and not gain an ounce.

John sighed. "So you're going to be pissed at me for good metabolism? Brother."

"You've got the gene in full force," Rodney stated, continuing on with his list of gripes. He wanted to see the Major try and counter that one.

"Dumb luck," John replied, as he pressed his fingers to his temples again. He would have given his right arm for a bottle of Alleve right about now.

Rodney could see that John was hurting. He thought for a moment then grabbed his own canteen. He fished his handkerchief out of his back pocket and it with a the water, just enough to make it damp, then he folded it before pressing it to the Major's forehead. "Better?" he asked.

John closed his eyes at the how good the coolness felt. "Better," he echoed, then her squinted one eye open. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I've got nothing better to do," Rodney pointed out.

"Good point." John managed a shaky smile. He felt like crap but talking to Rodney was a good distraction. "So...where were we? Oh yeah...I have the ancient gene which comes down to dumb luck."

Rodney winced. "Easy for you to say. What gets me most about it is that you don't care. You came along for the ride really. You had no interest in any of this stuff. Hell...you didn't even know about the Stargate. And yet you can turn everything on and off and make things work just by looking at it."

John chuckled and instantly regretted it as pain stabbed through his head. He rubbed the handkerchief over his face then settled it on his neck before replying. "It's not that easy and you know it."

"Sure it is. And you know it," Rodney shot back.

"Sometimes having the gene isn't so great," John stated. "I'm the one who activated Teyla's necklace which led to the Wraith following us off world time and time again."

Rodney wouldn't accept that as an excuse. "We're guessing about everything, Major. That doesn't change the fact that you have the gene and the ability to make the Ancient technology come to life."

John felt restless so he sat up only to almost fall over. He felt McKay catch him then he was being propped up by the other man's body and it was, surprisingly comfortable. "Sorry," John apologized. "Guess I'm sicker than I thought."

"But you'll be okay...right?" Rodney was getting panicked again, although the Major was still feeling cooler than he was.

"I'll be fine," John insisted. "Just...keep talking."

Rodney shifted a bit on the bench. He let himself lean back against the bulkhead and eased John back against his chest. It felt rather good, holding him. Rodney felt safer, for some reason that he could not explain. Even to himself. John's head was resting just under Rodney's chin and he raised one hand and let his fingertips brush over the Major's forehead in a soothing caress.

John gave a happy sigh. "That feels nice."

"Don't get used to it," Rodney snapped, but he didn't stop.

"Keep talking," John prompted. "I like the sound of your voice."

Rodney was stunned. "You do?"

John nodded, just a slight motion of his head. "Yep. It's..oddly...soothing."

"Okay." Rodney wasn't finished with his griping yet anyway. He would drop the Gene conversation for the moment. "So...lets talk about you being a genius."

"Not a genius," John mumbled.

Rodney resisted the urge to shake him and just focused on rubbing his forehead. "You are to a genius. Genius level IQ is genius level IQ. What I don't get is why you try to hide it."

John let his eyes flutter closed. It felt nice being held by McKay. Like he didn't have to be in control in this moment. And John trusted Rodney to handle things for the moment. "I was a military brat. Always moving. New schools, new friends, every few years. It's hard to break the ice when you're in a math class with kids older than you are. Or studying with a private tutor because I was past college level math in the fifth grade. I wanted to be normal. You should understand that. Did you ever feel normal in school?"

"No. I was always the odd man out. Always. Even the teachers hated me because I was smarter than them."

"I know the feeling. Just Math related though. I'd get nornal grades in all the other subjects."

Rodney didn't understand that and said as much. "But you were smart enough to ace everything."

John made a face. "Yeah...if i wanted too. I could read the stuff and ace the tests and everyone would think I was a freak."

"I know the feeling," Rodney replied, echoing John's earlier words but with attitude. "Being a geek isn't fun."

"It's not about being a geek, Rodney," John replied. "It's about being different. Being black in an all white school. Being handicapped when everyone else can run and play. Different is different and most people have a low tolerance for it. So I did what I could to fit in. I give you credit for not being afraid to be who you are."

Rodney laughed. Alot. In fact it turned into almost hysterical laughter and he broke off only when he realized John was sitting up and pressing a hand to his head. "Sorry about that," Rodney told him, then he was reaching for the Major and easing him back down into his arms. "But...that was funny."

John settled back against McKay and relaxed again. "Why is it funny?"

"Because I have no idea who I really am. I'm just plugging along and making enemies along the way because I'm anything but comfortable in my skin."

"Join the club."

Rodney was stunned. "Oh please. You're Mr. Cool. You've got it all, Sheppard. "Looks, personality, smarts."

John resisted the urge to sigh again. "Public persona, Rodney. It's not hard to be charming. I like people and I let them know that. I try not to take myself too seriously so that helps. As for the smarts thing...I'm a good pilot. I know my math and I try to be open minded about things. That's all that is."

"You ignored the looks bit," Rodney commented.

"Yep."

"You are beautiful." Rodney didn't know why he felt the need to keep pointing that out, but he did.

John found McKay's hand and pressed it back against his forehead, hoping he would get the hint and start rubbing again. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," he quoted.

Rodney got the hint and started stroking his fingers over the Major's forehead again. "Everyone thinks you're beautiful," he stated. "Did you know Ford did a poll. Most beautiful man and woman on Atlantis. You and Teyla won. He also did a poll for prettiest person overall. You won it, hands down."

"Bullshit." John was amused but didn't believe it.

"Ask him," Rodney countered. "You're also considered the bravest person and the coolest."

"But you won for the smartest, right?"

Rodney sighed. "Yeah...but I also one biggest asshole."

John was surprised. "REally? I thought Cavanaugh would have got that one."

"It's not funny," Rodney shot back.

"Sure it is. Polls don't mean anything."

Rodney knew that. "That's not what I meant."

John was quiet a moment then he asked. "What did you mean?"

"What's it like to be beautiful?" Rodney blurted out. "Seriously. I mean...it must be amazing being able to have any woman you want."

"First off...I'm not beautiful," John insisted. "And second..I sure as hell didn't get every woman I wanted. I had the hots for this one girl in high school and she wouldn't even give me the time of day."

Rodney snorted. "I find that hard to believe."

John knew he would never be able to explain it to McKay. The man didn't want to believe it. "You're buying into the myth," he declared. "And I repeat...beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"Why are you afraid of it?" Rodney countered, with genuine curiosity. "I would love to look like you for just one day. Then I could get laid." He paused, waiting for a smart ass come back from the Major, but there was only silence. Rodney was surprised, then panic hit him again and his hand dropped from John's forehead to his throat. He was relieved to find a strong pulse. Then it hit Rodney, the Major was asleep. Which was a good thing. Rodney thought about slipping out from under him so he could lay John down, but he didn't want to let go of him. So instead he let his chin fall to rest on the Major's head and closed his own eyes. And soon he, too, was asleep.

THE END