Work Text:
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
"Here With Me" Dido
"Stay with me,"
Believe me, sex was the farthest thing from my mind when I said that, and I didn't even really plan to say it. It just kind of...fell out of my mouth as I looked at him. He had scared me too many times. Too many trips to the infirmary. Too many times someone had to help him through the Stargate. Too many nights spent at his bedside. More than the other two combined.
And...too many bad dreams of things going wrong.
So when I said, "stay with me", I was just...afraid. Afraid that, if I didn't hold him all night, he wouldn't be here in the morning. So, as I stood in front of him, staring into his dark eyes, the fear seized my entire being, and my greatest desire fell from my lips.
"Stay with me,"
His eyes widened, and his dark cheeks turned red. "Uh,"
I laughed uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, that didn't come out right," I looked down at my feet and rubbed the back of my neck. He laughed uncomfortably as well. We looked at each other at the same time, and neither of us could look away. "I just want to hold you," I confessed solemnly. "I'm afraid that, if I don't, you won't be here tomorrow morning,"
Silence fell between us, then, finally, he reached over and took my hand in his own, not taking his heartstopping gaze from my own. "Okay," He said quietly, and I couldn't help but smile.
I closed the door and turned. He stood in the middle of my room, unsure of what to do. Truth was, I was unsure of what to do myself. Finally, I crossed the floor to stand before him. He had to look up at me a little. I reached out and gently touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my palm, then turned his head to kiss my hand slowly, sensuously. I watched him, absolutely fascinated. I slide my hand around to support the back of his neck and pulled him toward me.
"John, I-" I cut him off when I devoured his mouth with my own. I felt his arms snake around my body, and I wrapped my free arm around his waist, pressing his slim form to my own. I felt one of his hands slide up under my shirt to stroke the bare skin of my back. I did the same, then took it a step further by grasping the bottom of his shirt and pulling it up. Our lips parted and he raised his arms, allowing me to pull his shirt all the way off and toss it to the side. I raised my arms as well and he did the same. We smiled at each other again, this time more comfortably, and I lowered my head to kiss him. My hand moved from his hip to the fly of his pants, my fingertips dancing over his flat abs. He pulled back just as my fingers wrapped around the top button. "I thought that-" I interrupted him by poking him in the stomach.
"I haven't changed my mind. I just think that it wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep in jeans,"
He smiled. "Okay,"
I smiled back and kissed him as I undid his jeans. I pushed his pants down off his hips and the denim pooled at his ankles. He stepped out of them and kicked them out of the way. I felt his fingers brushed over my skin as his hands made their way to the front of my own pants. Same dance, ending with my pants kicked across the room. I gently gripped his hips and pressed my body against his, placing a slow kiss on his lips. I guided him over to the bed and sat down. He settled into my lap, wrapping his legs around my torso. I was all too aware that my body was screaming for contact, for us to lose our boxers and get down to it, but that's not what I told him I wanted. I broke the kiss and looked up into his gorgeous eyes.
"I'm sorry, I-" I started.
He kissed me, deeply, and, in surprise, I fell onto my back. Our lips remained locked the whole way down, and he wound up kneeling over me. I wrapped my arms around his naked torso, drawing his chest and stomach to mine. I could feel his heartbeat beside my own. I loved that feeling. There had been a few too many dreams where I'd felt his heart stop. He drew back.
"John-"
"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I honestly didn't plan on this,"
"It's okay," He said quietly, smiling. "I don't mind,"
We kissed briefly and I smiled back. "Let's go to bed,"
Another kiss. "Okay," He replied.
After a moment of awkward fumbling, we finally got under the covers and I laid back. He rested his head and one hand on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, protectively. One of his legs crossed over one of mine, his inner thigh resting on my own. We lay there in the darkness for a moment, me listening to his even breathing, then I felt his head lift off my chest.
"John?"
"Mm-hmm," I murmured.
A pause, then his soft, hesitant voice: "I love you,"
I smiled before I could help it and leaned down to kiss him. "I love you, too, Aiden,"
Fini