SquidgeWorld Archive

Disclaimer:  The Dukes of Hazzard is owned by Warner Brothers.  Original characters and plot are owned by me.  No copyright infringement is intended.  

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful town near a large forest called, for some strange reason, Hazzard."

"Kind of appropriate, ya gotta admit...pshoo!" 

"Wipe your nose.  It'd be appropriate today with the way everyone drives, but it was named two hundred years a...before our story starts.  So.  Um.  In this town lived an old man, Jesse, with his niece, Daisy, and nephews, Bo and Luke.  Now Daisy was a nice girl with a steady job, well-loved by everyone..." 

"Unlike Bo and Luke who were..."

"A bit naughty.  Not a lot, just a bit!  They worked helping their uncle, but they also spent a lot of time tearing around town and the forest and generally turning the sheriff's hair gray." 

An appreciative hum responded, as fingers carded gently through graying hair.

"Ooo oooo oooooo, that's...distractin'!  Behave.  The boys and their family were called Duke.  They weren't nobility, 'cause that's un-American.  Now, the sheriff, Rosco, was an old man..."

"Older! Not old, just older."

"If you say so.  He was also even naughtier than the Dukes, because he was corrupt and kept trying to put the boys in jail.  Fortunately, they were much smarter and handsomer...ow!"

"That's my lover you're talking about, fella.  No insults." 

"Ya don't gotta scuff my nipple.  You're supposed to be resting, not nit-picking."

"...I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to be that rough."

A sigh of equal pleasure and vexation accompanied the soft sucking sound of a wet tongue and soft lips caressing the offended flesh.

"Where was I?"

"You were insulting my lover."

"I didn't say he was ugly or stupid...just not as smart and handsome as the Dukes.  One of them especially was brilliant and gorgeous."

"Flattering, but no insulting my sheriff."

"Brat...yeah, you got a pretty smile, but you're naughty.  So, the sheriff spent a lot of time chasing the Duke boys, because the ruler of Hazzard, Boss Hogg, wanted them in jail.  He rarely caught them and, when he did, they always managed to escape.  The sheriff pretended to be angry about this, but secretly he was relieved.  He was in love with one of the Duke boys, a lovely young man with dark hair and blue eyes."

"Lovely??"

"Yes, lovely.  Hush!  Thing is the sheriff didn't know he was in love...or he knew, but didn't admit it to himself."

"He was in denial."

"Well, yes, if you wanna get all psycho-babble about it."

"Hey, it ain't like the other guy had any room to talk." 

"The other guy was named Luke, just to be clear.  Now, maybe I'll be able to get somewhere with this story."

A deep, hacking cough prevented the story from continuing.  Trying to help loosen the mucus, strong hands produced a rhythmic thumping, as they carefully struck the heaving back.  After a couple of minutes, a relieved sigh replaced the coughing.

"You okay, darlin'?  You want some more tea?"

"Naw, I'm good.  I think I'm breathing a bit easier.  The medicine must be kicking in."

"Okay.  You wanna just rest a bit?"

"I've been restin'.  Come on.  Tell me the story."

"All right then.  One day the Duke boys were at the Boars Nest.  They were having some beer, while trying to figure out how to stop Boss's latest scheme.  Boss had found out that Luke liked boys as well as gals and was trying to use the knowledge to blackmail the boys into taking some stolen gems to a fence in the next county.  Now, the boys knew good and well that Boss would get them put in jail, if they set one toe across the county line."

"Did Boss know the sheriff liked fellas?"

"Ooo.  Uh.  You know, I have no idea?  He probably did.  Boss is pretty sharp about stuff like that, but he never mentioned it.  I don't think he gave a rat's scrawny backside either way, long as the sheriff did as he was told." 

"Luke had a lot of fun taking care of that problem."

"Naughty." 

"Nope.  That was a good day's work." 

"Hrmph.  Anyways, Luke wouldn't ordinarily let himself be blackmailed, but there were still laws on the books against that sorta thing and Luke knew if he went to jail, Bo would end up there, too.  So, they were trying to find a way to turn the tables on Boss.  Well, a stranger to Hazzard overheard the boys talking and introduced himself.  Called himself Elijah." 

"I can't believe I actually drank a beer with that polecat." 

The whisper of a soft kiss on a feverish forehead answered.

"You had no way of knowin', darlin'.  Now, shhh.  The Duke boys invited Elijah to sit down, because they were friendly.  Elijah started asking a bunch of questions about the sheriff and his boss.   The Duke boys weren't gossips, but they were honest, so Elijah got a pretty fair idea of the way the Duke boys got treated by the local law."

"He twisted everything!" 

"Elijah didn't know how things worked in Hazzard, that is true.  He certainly didn't get how much the boys cared about other people.  What the Duke boys didn't realize is Elijah knew Rosco's reputation and had come to town to see him.  Once the boys left, Elijah went to see the sheriff."

"While the Duke boys were distracted getting the gems into the hands of the state police.  Otherwise this story would be a lot shorter." 

"Now, that may be, but the ending might've been different too."

"That, I wouldn't want."

"Well, good.  As it happens, Elijah met Rosco and took a dislike to him.  See, the sheriff was barking orders to his deputy, Cletus, demanding he find and arrest Bo and Luke.  Elijah  convinced Rosco and Boss to meet him at a bunch of old shacks at Crater Lake.  He said he'd seen the Duke boys skulking around up there and could take Boss and Rosco straight to them."

"Yeah and in the meantime he sent a couple of thugs working for him to kidnap Bo and Luke."

"Yeah.  Well, fortunately, Elijah only managed to grab one of the Duke boys or there wouldn't be anyone telling this story."

"Or hearing it, once Luke finished off Elijah."

"Oo.  Y'know being sick is making you cranky.  That's just pure violence, what you just said."

"I ain't cranky.  And you love me anyways."

"I do love ya.  I appreciate the thought, too, even if it was put violently."

"Mm.  I love you, too, sweetheart.  The bad thing is Bo had no idea what had happened to Luke." 

"That's later in the story, though.  When Rosco and Boss reached the shacks, Elijah's thugs came out, holding them at gunpoint.  They dragged them into one of the shacks, which they'd converted into a sort of court room.  Luke was tied up inside, in a chair behind the prosecutor's table."

"I'm amazed he even bothered with a defense."

"Well, he saw himself as a champion of justice.  Justice is supposed to be fair, after all."

"There was nothing fair about that trial." 

"True, that is true.   Well,  Elijah went and sat in the judge's chair, which he'd placed on a table, so he could look down on everything."

"He did that well enough without the table and chair." 

"A lot of legitimate judges are that way too.  Anyways, they got everyone where Elijah wanted them and Elijah told Rosco he was on trial for his life, on a charge of corruption.  He said the worst thing in the world was a crooked lawman.  Luke asked if Boss was gonna be on trial, since most of what Rosco did was at Boss's bidding.  Elijah pointed out that Boss was a politician and they were all corrupt.

Over his protests, Luke was called as the first witness.  They untied him and placed him in front of Elijah.  Elijah repeated a lot of the questions he'd asked at the Boars Nest.  He made Luke tell about some of Boss's schemes.  To give him credit, Luke didn't make Boss or Rosco look any worse than he had to, but he was honest, poor boy.  Rosco could see Luke felt bad, especially since Luke wasn't cracking any jokes or making smart remarks, like he usually did." 

"What smart remarks?"

"Well that one for starters.  If you don't hush, we'll still be at this, when the sun comes up tomorrow morning.  Shhh!  Uh.  Well, Elijah finished with Luke and put Boss on the stand.  Now, Boss really did try.  He lied and weasled and made excuses.  He tried to show Rosco as a good cop who just got carried away and who just did what he was told.  Boss tried to make the Duke boys look bad, saying Rosco was just trying to protect the community from their bad influence."

"Sad thing is I think Boss honestly believes that, sometimes."

"Sadly, you're right.  Never mind.  Elijah, at least, was not fooled one bit.  Finally, he put Rosco on the stand.  Now, at this point, Elijah offered Rosco a chance to defend himself and he kinda shot off his mouth.  Rosco...well, he'd been lonely for a long time and he tended be kinda bitter on a couple of subjects.    Listening to Luke and Boss had gotten his dander up.  Rosco said he wasn't taking anything Hazzard didn't owe him, since they'd taken his pension and that the Duke boys shoulda been in jail on charges for running shine.  He felt bad saying that, but his pride was hurt."

"Sweetheart..." 

"Elijah hated corrupt police.  He had no sympathy for Rosco's issues. Rosco was declared guilty and sentenced to die by hanging.  Terrible thing was Rosco didn't really feel he could argue.  He was corrupt."

"Luke could argue."

"Luke could argue and did.  Elijah let Luke argue about some of the few good things Rosco had done.  Luke tried to show that the sheriff was just human and no one else could really judge him.  Finally, Elijah made Luke hush up.  He told Rosco that, since Luke was willing to defend him, he would give Rosco a choice.  Rosco could face up to his crimes and let himself be hanged or he could let Luke be hanged in his place." 

"So much for justice.  Making a man choose to die or let someone else die...what kind of justice is that?"

"I think Elijah was trying to make a point to Luke about the sheriff's character.  He assumed Rosco would choose Luke to hang.  He couldn't do it, though.  Rosco couldn't stand the th-thought of watching that brilliant young man strangling to death.  Boss told Elijah that was unfair, to make Rosco choose.  He started to tell Elijah to hang the Duke boy, but Rosco surprised everyone by telling him to shut up.  He told Elijah that, if someone was going to hang, it was gonna be Rosco.  At that Luke started fussing and struggling so much that one of Elijah's thugs hit him, knocking him to the ground."

"That's probably a good thing or Luke might've gotten'em all killed.  He was so dang mad!"

"It worried Rosco.  He didn't trust them to let Luke and Boss go, once Rosco was dead.  He was just prayin' Jesse or Bo showed up soon.   The thugs tied Rosco's hands, then marched him past Luke.  Rosco really thought he was going to die and, well, he didn't have anything to lose.  He was never gonna see Luke again, so far as he knew.  So, sort of as a good-bye, Rosco leaned in and kissed Luke."

A staccato giggle rolled through the air.

"He never saw anyone look more astonished in his life!" 

"Astonished doesn't even cover it.  Luke was even more determined to not let Rosco die, 'cause he wanted to know what that kiss was about."

"Well, Elijah and his thugs weren't gonna cooperate.  They dragged Rosco outside and placed him on a chair underneath a tree.  Luke and Boss were placed a few feet away, so they could watch.  Elijah put a rope around Rosco's neck.  Elijah kicked the barrel away and left Rosco swinging.  He only hung there a couple of seconds, though, before an arrow came flying in and cut the rope, letting Rosco fall to the ground.

Bo and a local named Jake Lofton ran up and started fighting the thugs, while Enos saw to Rosco.  Luke made right for Elijah.  Rosco had never seen the boy that angry before.  Elijah was no match for Luke to begin with and he was doubly dangerous in his rage.  Rosco wasn't too sure Luke didn't plan on killing the man."

"Luke wasn't thinking clearly enough to be planning.  He was going on pure instinct."

"Rosco tried to call out to the boy, but the rope had hurt his throat and he couldn't get loud enough.  Besides, Luke never did listen, when he was fighting.  It took a gun being fired, sometimes, to get that boy's attention.  Bo, he didn't bother trying to talk to Luke.  He just grabbed his cousin under his arms and pulled him away from Elijah.  While Bo did that, Enos and Jake stepped in and got the cuffs on Elijah and his thugs." 
 
"And Boss came up and started yelling at Bo and Luke about his damn gems.  With Rosco on the ground injured!" 

"Yeah.  Well, Bo tugged Boss aside, presumably telling him that the gems were in the hands of the state police.  Rosco had just managed to get himself to his feet..."

"...instead of waiting for the doctor to say it was okay..."

"...because he wasn't that bad injured!  Anyways, he got to his feet just fine and found Luke standing close to him.  Rosco recalled kissing the boy and wondered if he was about to get hit, too."

"He did?"

"Well, he knew Luke liked fellas, but Rosco hadn't given Luke a lot of reasons to like him, what with chasing him and all.  He thought Luke didn't cotton to him much."

"He was dead wrong about that.  'Sides, it was a nice kiss."

"Not knowing all that, Rosco decided he better apologize.  He said sorry and promised he wouldn't do nothing like that again.  Luke took him by surprise by asking if that was so, even if Luke wanted him to!"

"Now, who looked astonished?"

"Rosco, I would think.  He certainly felt astonished, especially when Luke stepped forward and kissed him back!"

"Mmm.  That was a nice kiss, too."

"It didn't last very long, though."

"There was lots of company and Luke was worried about Rosco being able to breathe."

"Rosco was fine.  Bo came over and Luke asked how he'd found them.  Turns out Jake Lofton had a still in one of the shacks and had overheard Elijah and his thugs.  He'd snuck out and found Bo, telling him what was going on.  The ambulance arrived and Rosco found out he was gonna have to spend the night in the hospital.  Boss took Rosco's patrol car and he and Enos took their prisoners off to jail.  "

"Luke had to admire Rosco's gumption.  He honestly tried to get the paramedics to just leave him there.  They were ticked off at him for even being on his feet!" 

"Hospitals are horrible places, darlin'.  Anyways, they wouldn't let Luke ride along in the ambulance, so Rosco decided to bite the bullet.  He'd almost died and Luke had kissed him, so he was willing to take a chance for once.  He asked Luke if he would go out with him.  Asked him on a proper date!"

"Which Luke was glad to agree to and which led to more kisses...and even nicer things."

"Yes, it did, kee!"

"I'd kiss ya now, if I wasn't worried about giving you my cold," Luke said ruefully.

Rosco looked down at his young lover, smiling tenderly.  Luke's nose was red and a bit swollen from being wiped with tissue.  He and Rosco were laying in Rosco's bed, wrapped warmly in soft blankets and snuggled close together.  Rosco was wearing nothing, except a pair of boxer shorts, while Luke was wearing boxers and a t-shirt to keep him warm.  Luke looked up at Rosco, his head resting on Rosco's chest. 

"At least, you're getting better.  You ain't as feverish as you were yesterday." 

"You've taken good care of me, while Uncle Jesse's away."

Rosco just blushed a bit, stroking Luke's hair away from his face. 

"I like takin' care of ya," Rosco admitted, in a low voice. 

Smiling, Luke ran his fingers through the thick hair on Rosco's chest.  He found lots of things about Rosco's long body sexy, but the hair was one of his favorite things.  He found and stroked the same nipple he had nipped at earlier.  Rosco returned the caress by gently stroking and massaging Luke's back and over his bottom. 

Luke hoped the touch on his bottom would start something more, but he was already half asleep.  He felt Rosco's hands move up to his back, settling into a pattern of gentle circles.  Luke felt a moment of frustration that he was still sick enough to be so tired, just from some story-telling.  The feeling was very brief, though, as Luke soaked in the pleasure of his lover's warmth.  The soft caresses on his back and a few nuzzling kisses on his temple eased Luke into a contented sleep.