Work Text:
Birthday Secrets
By PattRose
Blair had three weeks to plan the ultimate birthday party for Jim, but there was one problem. He needed to tell Jim about it so there wasn't any secrets between them. Jim hated secrets not to mention it would be difficult planning a party with a Sentinel in the house or at work.
Jim was sitting on the sofa, watching the news almost ready to fall asleep. The news was so fucking boring that night, it was unreal. Even the weather was just average. Jim longed for something fresh and new to happen. He just didn't know what to hope for. Jim knew that he himself was the most boring person around. He often wondered why Blair continued to live with him. Jim was that damn boring.
Blair walked in and saw Jim ready to nod off and almost laughed. It was only 8:30 at night. "Hey man, can I talk to you about something important?"
Jim jumped when Blair started talking. He was really out of it. "Sure, sit down. Talk away. It's bound to be better than the news and weather."
Blair chuckled at Jim's joke. He could see Jim was bored out of his mind. "What would you think about me having a birthday party for you this year? Just the people from work, no one else. I want to pretend it's a surprise but you'll know about it."
"Blair, I thank you for being so thoughtful, but I hate my birthday and I don't want a party at all. None. If you give me one, I'm going to stop talking to you."
"Oh right, like you talk to me a lot now, Jim. You never share anything with me. How would I know how you feel about your birthday? The only reason I know it's your birthday is because I overheard Simon telling Carolyn something about it on the phone."
"They're planning something?" Jim sounded quite alarmed.
"No, she was calling to remind Simon to take you out for a drink or something on your birthday. She said you always get blue on your birthday. Not my words, Simon told me that Carolyn said them."
"You know, she just won't fucking stay out of my life. She moved to California and I thought I would finally have some peace in my life and instead she's calling my boss and telling him what to do. I give up. Have a party for me, Sandburg. I don't much care."
Blair looked at the pain and hurt in Jim's eyes and knew that there was something about Carolyn and his birthday. What was it?
"You know what I would like to do for your birthday, Jim?" Blair asked.
"I don't have a clue."
"I'd like to ask you out on a date. So what do you think about that, Jim Ellison? I'm paying and everything."
Jim stared at him long and hard and said, "I don't need a pity date, Sandburg."
"The only pity would be if you turned me down. I'd really like to take you out for dinner. But not wait for three weeks. I'd like to do it tomorrow."
"Chief, why would you ask me out on a date?"
"Perhaps because I like you very much and I like looking at you even more. I'd really like to see you without clothes on." Blair wiggled his eyebrows up and down making even Jim smile.
"Okay, it's a date. Where are we going tomorrow night?" Jim wondered. He actually had a smile on his face, which was a step up from before.
"Before I tell you any of that, there is one catch. You have to tell me why you hate your birthday so much and make it believable."
"I knew this was for some reason. I don't feel like ultimatum's Chief. So forget the date." Jim started to get off the sofa and Blair shoved him back again.
"I need to know, Jim. If we are going to date, I have to know things about you. You'll need to know things about me. I'll tell you about my worst birthday party after you tell me about yours."
Jim looked over to see if he was serious and realized that Blair was dead serious. "Okay, Chief. It's a deal. Get ready for a boring story. And I don't want to discuss it afterwards. Okay?"
"Deal… Same with my story. I don't want to discuss it later at all."
"Why don't you go first," Jim suggested.
"Because I made the rule up, that's why."
"Fine. Okay, I'm going to tell you and you're not going to feel sorry for me or anything. Do you promise?" Jim asked.
"I promise. At least on the outside. Depends on what you say if my insides are going to be upset or not," Blair teased. Honestly, Blair couldn't imagine anything being this bad.
"Right before Carolyn divorced me, she had a surprise party for me. Everyone from the station came and I was having a very good time. I hadn't seen Carolyn all night long and wondered what had happened to her and I decided to check and be sure she was all right. I got to the office door and got ready to open it when I heard her voice. ‘You have to promise not to tell Jimmy any of this. He has to believe everything is his fault. That way I'll get more money. I'll meet you later tonight and you can fuck me all night long. You do it so much better than Jimmy does.' And the man said, ‘Maybe it's his name. Anyone named Jimmy is a loser in my world.' Then Carolyn said, ‘Kiss me and remind me of what I'm going to have soon instead of being stuck with this lifeless husband of mine.' And that was my birthday party. So there you have it. Remember you said we weren't going to discuss it." Jim sat on the sofa all stoic and brave and Blair never wanted to scream so much in his life.
"Okay, I totally understand you hating your birthday and all. But do you think we could make a new birthday this year. One that has good memories? One that will be filled with happiness, fun and love? What do you think about that?" Blair asked.
"I don't think I could do it, Blair."
"Jim, do you like me?"
Jim looked somewhat confused. "Of course I like you. You've been living here for four years, Chief."
"Do you more than like me? Do you have any feelings for me at all?"
Jim smiled at him. "Are you asking if I think I'm in love with you, then the answer is yes? I've been in love with you for about eighteen months now. I was afraid, Blair. Now you understand why."
"Do you think that I might be in love with you, too?" Blair asked.
"I think you might love me. We're best friends and we do love one another, maybe it's time to take that next step. I've been afraid ever since Carolyn and numerous other people in my life. I think I might be ready, Blair."
"I would never fuck you over like she did. That was cruel and below even what I would think she would do. Don't ever ask me to like her. Okay?"
"Okay…" Jim pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him. Blair of course kissed him back with much need and desire behind it. Jim finally pulled away and said, "You talked me into it, Blair. You can plan a party."
"Oh goody. It's going to be fun. I'm going to make you forget about your horrible one. Mine will replace that old and ugly one. I'm crazy about you, Jim."
Jim kissed him once more. "I'm crazy about you too, Blair. Now, don't think you're getting out of telling me what your worst birthday was."
"We did have a deal. I don't like to even think about it. Rhonda has a party for me every year since I've been here and I'm so thankful for that. Now, you'll know why."
"It was my 12th birthday and I was so excited about it. My mom said that she had invited everyone from my class. I had never had a real birthday party and was looking forward to it. The day before the party mom packed us up and moved us to another city. I begged her to wait until the next night because of my party, but she said birthdays were for children anyway, not a grown young man like I was. I was almost 12, Jim. And she thought I should have no birthday anymore. Not that I ever did. This was going to be my very first birthday celebration. She said she would make me a cake once we landed somewhere. I was crushed. I know it's stupid, but to this day, I miss the fact that I didn't ever get any presents from anyone. That would have been my first time and I wanted it in the worst way. See, it's not as bad as yours was, but it's still not a fun birthday."
Jim pulled Blair into his arms and held on for dear life. "I love you, Blair. From now on, we're celebrating our birthday's big time. They don't have to be a surprise. We can help each other plan them. We can enjoy each other's company as we plan them. We're never going to have bad birthdays again. I promise you that." Jim finally moved away from Blair and Jim could see that Blair had been crying. Jim kissed him and said, "It's okay, Chief. I feel like crying myself."
"Can I sleep with you tonight, Jim? I just mean sleep? I want to be with you in the worst way, but I'm too sad right now."
"You can move upstairs tonight if you'd like. That will now be our office. You're always needed an office, Blair."
"I have. I'm going to love having an office. Come on, help me move things upstairs and then you can help me plan your party. We'll do it together and we'll have fun."
"Thank you, Blair."
"For what, Jim?"
"For helping me realize that you can't just give up. You have to try and love again. It had nothing to do with my birthday and all to do with being in love."
The two men worked side by side moving all of Blair's things upstairs. Blair thought they might be rushing things, but he was in love and couldn't say no to Jim. And Blair figured out that Jim was in love with him too.
*
Three weeks later, everyone from the bullpen was over at the loft having a wonderful time celebrating Jim's birthday. Megan was the first one to notice the office. Then Rafe, then Brown, Joel and finally Simon. They all patted both men on the back and told them congratulations. At two in the morning the last people left and Jim held Blair in his arms. "Thank you, Chief. It was the best birthday and memory I've ever had. And we're out now and I lived through that too."
"Let's leave the mess for tomorrow and go to bed. I feel like having my brains fucked out."
"Hey, I sort of like your brains. I will fuck you, but not that hard."
Blair laughed and pulled Jim up the stairs. It was a wonderful memory for both of them. Blair had forgotten about his birthday and Jim had forgotten about his. It worked and both men were thrilled.
The end