Work Text:
Close Your Eyes
by Wild
Notes: Thoughts are in // // because I'm an idiot who doesnt know how to do italics in yahoo groups.
"I shut my eyes in order to see." -Paul Gauguin (1848-1903)
"Sir."
The word sounded awkward and out of place, even as a force of habit. Dr. McKay just didnt seem to fit the archetype, the formal honor rolling uneasily off of him, and into a heap on the floor, making Ford feel as if he'd made a fool of himself, with one simple utterance.
"Hmm?" It wasnt a word, so much as a mildly interested grunt. McKay didnt even raise his eyes from the table at which he was seated, bent uncomfortably over it, a piece of Ancient Technology magnified and sparkling beneath the intense, scrutinous light.
Ford shifted his weight uneasily, looking from the floor, to the far wall, to a passing scientist, and back to the floor before he spoke again. "The Major asked me to see if you wanted to come relax with us." It was a load of bullshit. McKay hadnt left the lab in days, other than to run when Weir called. The rest of the time, he scarfed down granola bars, and stayed bent over this very table, muttering to himself as he made notes.
"Eh." It was a no in spirit, even if it was lacking a bit in vocal strength. McKay brought his hand up, and promptly made a shooing motion in Ford's general direction, all without hazarding a glance at his teammate. For some reason, this irked Ford, and he put his weight upon his other foot, drawing himself up to his full height.
"Sir."
This one was stronger, and with more conviction. But it still tumbled clumsily from his lips, moreso now that there were irritated, and slightly unfocused eyes upon him. The honor no longer seemed like an honor, more of an ill-fitting coat, that made McKay look long, and sharp, and just wrong in all the places that made the scientist who he was. Authority issues were a by-product of the military, and obviously even after all this time on the Air Force payroll, they'd not gotten through the thick shell of distracted indifference that made up the outer layers of Rodney McKay.
"What is it, Lieutenant? If you havent noticed, I'm trying to work here. Do I have to give you a chocolate bar to get you to be quiet too?" McKay's eyes narrowed in annoyance, and he looked down, barely missing the scathing look tossed his way by the indignant military officer. It took every ounce of Ford's self control to not give in. He knew what McKay was doing. He wanted Ford to get flustered, and reply in kind, only proving what was steadily becoming the consensus.
Aiden Ford was just a dumb kid.
He hated being underestimated, especially because of his age. It really meant nothing, especially to him. 'Age aint nothing but a number', or at least thats what his mother always told him. But that might have had something to do with the fact that Ford's mother was sixteen years his Father's senior. But despite the context, the words had always rung true, to the Lieutenant. He thought his working with Sheppard would prove it.
"Well?" It was another exasperated outburst from McKay, who didnt notice that Ford had all but tra-la-la'ed off into his own little world of thought, brooding over the mechanics of age, and how they had no bearing on his performance, whatsoever.
"Well, sir?" It was a habit, and the look of exasperation deepened into downright annoyance, shown clearly on the planes of the older man's face.
"Well, leave! I dont need you to babysit me because Major Sheppard thinks I'm going to just pass out every time he isnt breathing down my neck." Control was a beautiful thing, especially when it kept a self preservationistic lieutenant from making a crack about fainting in a manly fashion. He was trying to coax McKay out of his shell, not get kicked in the balls.
"I..." Ford paused for a minute, trying to get his bearings on what to say. "I...I'm not trying to babysit you. I just wanted you to get out a little. Get some air, or food or something. You've been cooped up in here for days." He pulled the hat off of his head, long fingers wrapped tightly around the bill, while he watched McKay. Would this really work?
McKay gave a deep, soul twisting sigh, his shoulders drooping with the force of it. "If I go eat something, will you leave me alone?"
The smile on Ford's face was brilliant.
"Yes sir."
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"You ever...you know..." Ford paused to grasp a word, running his teeth along the fullness of his bottom lip. Between himself and Doctor McKay, they'd demolished two meals a piece, and a carton of what passed for ice cream, in Atlantis. Ford rubbed his palms together nervously, gesturing absently for a minute. He just could not think of an adequate way to explain what he was struggling to ask.
"Do I ever what? Eat babies? Practice satanic rituals? Publicly humilate myself and others?" McKay's voice had taken on that quivering quality that came with being riled up. The already exciteable scientist was practically vibrating, from the added sugar and caffeine. He was wound tight, that was for sure.
"Have you ever..." Ford raised one lone finger, and immersed it in his mouth, missing the dry gulp of his companion. But within an instant, he'd withdrawn the finger, making a loud, wet 'pop'. McKay's eyebrows rose, his expression one of complete bewilderment.
"Uh...excuse me?" One of his eyebrows had dropped, leaving him 'half cocked', so to speak. But the look on Ford's face was a curious mixture of doubt, amusement and...well, McKay could be wrong here, and he had been horribly wrong on an occasion or two. (See one Samantha Carter.) But he could have sworn that the look on Ford's face was tinged with embarassment. The sort of underhanded shame that came only from making a complete ass of one's self, in front of someone they had aquired feelings for.
"You ever been with a man?" The sentence was swiftly followed by Ford's head dropping to the table, giving him an excuse to all but hide his face behind the careful prison of his arms, and the slant of his cap. He felt like an idiot, but that was the only way he could think to phrase it. Any other explanations to come to mind seemed either raunchy, or just...cliche.
McKay paused with his coffee cup halfway to his lips, staring down into the last drips of liquid, and the dregs that colored the bottom of the metal cup. He wasnt entirely certain how to answer the question that had just been posed. Of course, the easy answer would have been no, but he found that insatiable curiousity perking up, wondering why exactly the young lieutenant had felt he needed this information in the first place.
"Why do you ask?" He asked simply, not raising his eyes from the coffee cup. He'd made his tone as light, and unoffensive as he could, not wanting Ford to take his question the wrong way.
"I guess I just wanted to know...you know?" Ford gestured lamely, his slender fingers slicing through the air. It was partially true. Being stuck on this base, with such a small array of women, he had to wonder how many of the men here had resorted to finding more unusual company. The thought had just began to slither around the edges of his consciousness, so he felt like he had to validate himself. If Major Sheppard was thinking those thoughts, then it was alright for him to, wasnt it?
"Seems logical enough." McKay was still struggling to keep his tone as neutral as possible. There was the tiniest hunch to Ford's shoulders, a tell-tale defensive measure. He felt like McKay was going to lash out at him, so he was protecting himself. Whether consciously or not, McKay wasnt sure.
"Yeah." Ford's shoulders moved forward a bit more, and his forearms, which were resting on the table, moved in closer towards his face. After a second's hesitation, he sat up, laying his palms flat on the table with an audible smack. "I should probably get going, man." He stood up, careful not to upset the tray in front of him, which was stacked high with their trash. "It was real nice sitting down and talking with you, Doctor McKay." He grabbed the tray, and untangled his legs from the chair, all the while, deftly not meeting McKay's eyes. "See ya."
With that flurry of movement and speech, Ford was gone, leaving a bewildered McKay still holding his coffee cup inches from his lips.
"Okay, what the hell just happened?"
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Ford lay slumped against his headboard, the pillows pressed up behind the small of his back, to hold him upright. His jeans were unzipped, and spread out, although not pulled from his hips. He didnt dare undress, since no door in Atlantis was locked to Major Sheppard.
Booted feet were thrown over the coverlet, bits of dirt and dust from the floors scattered over the utilitarian grey blanket. Ford was beyond caring at the moment, as he wrapped his fist around his insistent erection, which had plagued him all the way from the mess hall. Thoughts of McKay danced behind his eyelids with a frighteningly frantic nature to them. If he didnt get off right then, he was going to explode.
Ford's eyes slid closed.
//McKay slammed him into the wall, long fingers peeling the jacket from his body. Their lips crashed together in a manic kiss, McKay muttering against Ford's lips, every time they broke apart just enough to breathe.
"Aiden..." The word was soft and heavy, and sent the nerve endings in Ford's teeth jangling, and he clutched the short hair at the nape of McKay's neck, squeezing.
"Sir..." Ford was gasping so hard that his chin bobbed with each breath sucked in. McKay slid his fingers beneath the younger man's shirt, the cold digits dancing across the heated flesh in sharp, sporadic patterns. Their erections brushed for the first time, and Ford groaned loudly, his head thrashing back to connect with the wall soundly.
McKay just chuckled breathlessly, taking an instant to rub the back of Ford's head, sliding the ball cap off, and tossing it on the floor carelessly. "Careful." It was all he needed to say as he dove in for another, progressively more discordant kiss. The taste of coffee and ice cream lingered on their lips, transferred between erratic swipes of their tongues.
"Jesus. Want you." Ford's hand had settled on McKay's ass, and he pushed his fingers into the snug pockets, tightening his grip as much as he could, to pull the other man forward, as his hips jutted out, moans echoing loudly in the hall.
"Want you too. Shut up, and let me work." There was that smirk of his, as McKay took a step back, mussed and pink from their kisses. He batted Ford's hands away, as the younger man moved to pull him back. "You heard me." And with a startling speed, McKay dropped to his knees, wincing at the sudden impact with the cold metal floors.
"Sir, you dont have to..." McKay silenced him with a short flick of his hand, as he used the other to pop open the button on Ford's pants, dragging the zipper down with agonizing slowness. "Sir." McKay didnt even bother to look up this time, instead he lowered his mouth to Ford's length, swallowing it all...//
"Lieutenant Ford? I just wanted to ah...talk to you about something." Lost in his fantasy, Ford hadnt even heard the knock at the door, but the voice broke through, and his eyes shot open, surprise spiking through his body. The orgasm was triggered so suddenly, that Ford couldnt help the loud gasp, his body arching up off of the bed, as he shuddered, his hand slick with semen.
"Just-Just one second!" He stood up hastily, and looked down at his hand, biting his lip. "Shit..shit..." Turning in quick circles, her surveyed the room, trying to find anything to wipe the evidence on. His eyes landed on the bed, and he lifted the thin mattress easily, smoothing his palm over the rough fabric, until it was relatively clean. Dropping it back in place, he zipped up quickly, and tugged on his shirt, pulling his hat back on before he opened the door.
"What did you need, Sir?"
Rodney couldnt be sure, but he was fairly certain that Ford was out of breath. But why? He'd been sitting alone in his room.
"I just wanted to..." McKay brought a hand up to rub at the nape of his neck subconsciously, letting his eyes trail from Ford, to the floor. He knew what he wanted to say. Hell, he'd practiced this speech the entire way over from his lab, repeating the simple phrase over and over again in his mind. So why exactly, did the words hitch, when he opened his mouth?
"Sir?" It was softer, and the frantic note seemed to have left Ford's voice. He took a step forward, eliminating some of the space between himself and Dr. McKay.
"No, I havent been with another man. I've thought about it though."
end