Work Text:
The Balcony
Genre: Slash
Warnings: Death story
Word Count: 1276
Rating: gen
Summary: Blair wishes that Jim loved him just a little bit more.
April
Blair stood in front of the balcony door, with the wind gently blowing through his hair. It was a nice feeling after the long cold winter. As he stood there and watched the traffic on the street, he felt Jim come up behind him and put his arms around his middle. Jim pulled him closer to him and kissed the back of his neck.
"I love this time of year," Jim said softly.
"Why?" Blair asked.
"I was just watching you standing in the gentle breeze, blowing your hair and your shirt around and it made me hard just thinking about you. I love that you're showing more skin these days. I like seeing that skin of yours."
"I noticed," Blair replied.
"In the winter, you never show your skin and I miss that. So, this time of year, the sun is out more and you're warmer and happier, I think. We really need to think about moving from Cascade," Jim suggested.
"To where? Everyone has seasons, Jim. Even Arizona has seasons," Blair pointed out.
"I was thinking about New Mexico, actually. They are never too hot or too cold. Just perfect. We could both find work there and be happy," Jim said.
"I don't want to move, man. I like it here. So what if I don't show skin part of the year. You'll get over it. Right?"
"Are you happy?" Jim asked.
"Jim, why in the world would you ask that? Of course I'm happy. You make me happy, I make me happy, I love our life. So stop worrying already. You do this every time I stare out the window."
"Sometimes you look a little lost while looking out that window and I can't help feeling like I need to do something more," Jim said.
"I love you so much, man. Do you believe me when I say that?"
"Yes, Blair, I believe you."
"Then, let's drop it. I'm happy, but you know what would make me happier?" Blair asked, with a sparkle in his eye.
"What?" Jim asked.
"If a certain person took me out to eat, that would be great. I'm craving a Brad's sandwich. How does that sound?" Blair asked.
"I would take you anywhere and you pick Brad's?"
"Now, you're picking on my favorite restaurant in town. Stop it. I love Brad's. That's what I'm hungry for. In fact, if a certain person was really nice he would go and pick dinner up and bring it home. We could watch a movie tonight and have the sandwiches and just cuddle on the couch. I love this idea."
"You want a Rueben, right?" Jim asked, with a sparkle in his eyes now.
"You got it, man. You know what I like," Blair said, smiling like crazy.
Jim kissed Blair's neck once more and left to pick up dinner. Blair watched him go to the truck and get in and he smiled and waved when Jim looked up. He didn't want Jim worrying.
After he left, Blair still stayed looking out the balcony door and wished with all of his heart that Jim would love him just a little bit more. Just a little bit more.
May
Blair came down the stairs and listened to the quiet in the loft and wished he had a lot of noise now and then. He went to the balcony to look out the window and got wistful. If only they would have had children, that would have been nice. But Jim never wanted to.
It was a beautiful day and Blair intended on going for a walk that day if it killed him. The sun was shining on his face and arms and he felt good in the sun. Jim was right; he did do better in the warmth of the sun.
As he looked out onto the traffic, Jim came up from behind and hugged him hard. "Chief, what's wrong?"
"There's nothing wrong, Jim," Blair answered.
"Is there anything that would improve your day?" Jim asked.
"I would love a sandwich and you know from where," Blair said smiling.
"I could do that for you. A Rueben, am I right?"
"Of course you're right," Blair said almost laughing. Jim was rarely wrong about what Blair wanted or needed.
"I'll be back soon and we'll watch some old movies and just relax together. Does that sound good to you?" Jim asked.
"Sounds perfect. Drive careful, Jim."
As Jim walked to the truck he looked up to see Blair and noticed Blair wasn't in the balcony window like he usually was. He sighed and got into the truck.
Blair was sitting on the sofa wondering how he would get out of this. This hell, he was in. To anyone else, it might seem like a perfect life, but to him it was a fucking nightmare. It had to stop. Jim needed to think about it and just decide to love Blair enough to do the right thing.
June
Blair was staring out the balcony door when he felt Jim's arms come around him and he couldn't stop the trembling. He was going to lose it soon.
"Babe, what's wrong? What can I do to help you?"
"You don't love me enough, Jim."
"What are you talking about? I adore you and think of you every moment of every day. What about a sandwich from Brad's Sandwich Shop? That always makes you feel better almost every day."
"Jim, if you loved me, you would leave me."
"Leave you?" Jim seemed confused.
"Jim, there is only one of us here. Listen to the heartbeats and you'll know this to be true. I can't do this anymore. Let me go," Blair pleaded.
Jim listened to the heartbeats and knew Blair was right.
"Blair, what happened to me?"
"You were shot during a robbery. We go through this every time, but I need you to really listen this time. If you love me, you won't come back. I can't do this anymore," Blair almost sobbed.
"I think I remember. They shot me and I didn't make it, did I Blair?"
"No, and like I said, we go through this almost every day. You ask the same thing every day. You were killed at Brad's Sandwich Shop during a robbery. So, it's breaking me in two every time we discuss this. Please leave and don't come back, Jim."
"I'll always be here, Chief. But, I know I have to leave you alone. I'll see you on the other side," Jim said and Blair was alone again.
Blair waited and Jim didn't come back. Maybe he had found his way, finally. Blair needed to know Jim was going to be all right.
Blair looked out the balcony window and saw the sun shining and the birds singing.
There was no Jim today. There really never was. It was all in his mind. There was no balcony anymore. Jim hadn't died at all. Jim was still there. Blair turned around and saw Jim standing there crying. It was him that had died at Brad's, not Jim. And he wasn't leaving Jim to live his life.
"I'm sorry, Jim, I didn't know."
"I know, Chief. I love you."
"I loved you, too."
Jim sobbed when he heard Blair use loved instead of love. He knew that Blair was leaving for good this time.
Jim knew that he wanted to join Blair, but he had promised Blair he wouldn't when he was alive. Now, he was stuck here all alone without the love of his life.
The end