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Bundles of Joy

Summary:

David and Evan negotiate not on the fact of having kids, but how many they should have. And then fate steps in.

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"Four," David Parrish says as he sets his dinner tray down.

Evan looks up.  Cocking an eyebrow, he counters, "One."  It was the number David was used to hearing, as it was the only number Evan ever offered.

David sits, digging into his almost-chicken, and thinks about how to reframe the debate to favor his point of view.

~*~*~

The decision to have kids wasn't the issue to divide David and Evan; it was the number of kids to have that the couple couldn't decide on.  David, having been an only child, desperately wanted to have multiple children.  Evan, on the other hand, was the middle child of three, and saw the usefulness and uniqueness of having just one child.

It was a point of contention between the otherwise even-keeled couple. 

Then John Sheppard had come back from MX3-848 with two children - Zach and Merra - in tow, joined by Rodney McKay soon thereafter.  David considered the situation, and saw it as an opportunity to start chipping away at Evan's reserve.

Their bargaining continued in just about every situation possible on Atlantis, and quite often.  Just as they're about to step through the gate for an off-world mission, David turns to Evan and playfully says, "Five?"

Evan step-stutters, then turns to his partner.  After a beat, he slowly closes his eyes, then shakes his head.  "Two.  And that's as high as-"

"I'll take it!" David exclaims, leaning over to grab a quick kiss.  "Two it is..."  He steps closer to the gate, turning towards Evan at the last minute and saying, "Now we just have to figure out the whole sperm and egg situation."

As David passes through the event horizon, he swears that he can hear Evan screaming from the other side of the universe.

~*~*~

The couple decides on using two surrogates; since they were going to have two children, the compromise was that they would be conceived and born at roughly the same time.  Two Athosian women - sisters - come forward, offering themselves as surrogates, something Teyla explains to the men is quite common in Pegasus.  "Our people cherish every life and coupling, even if that couple cannot reproduce.  We see this time as a blessing for all people."

Evan and David share a look.  "I wish people on Earth saw it like that."

"I am confused," Teyla says as she furrows her brow.  "I thought the people that we encountered while on Earth were quite friendly."

"Yes, well, that was San Francisco," David starts.  "You never went to my homestate.   Kansas."  He sighs.

"Well anyone who does not welcome and appreciate people from all walks of life is missing out on their own."

"Amen," Evan replies, then threads his fingers with David's.

Two weeks later, each man presents the infirmary with a "sample", Carson nicking the bags from them and muttering, "Cheeky buggers," before disappearing off into the back to work his magic.  "You sure you don't want more?" Evan calls, David immediately going red, and Carson coming back out to grin at the man before busting out laughing as he heads back into the lab.

With the sperm freshly treated, mixed with half a dozen eggs from each woman, and then implanted, all they can do is wait.

"David," Evan says as he strides into their quarters two nights after the implantation, initially forgetting his stream of thought when he sees his partner packing boxes.  "What are you doing?"

"Duh...  We're gonna have to move into bigger quarters," David replies.  "Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet.  But I was thinking about something."

"What's wrong?" David asks, stepping over the box and coming to Evan's side, pulling the man into a hug, then dropping a kiss on his temple.

"Nothing wrong...  It's just-"  Evan takes a deep breath, then leans back so he can look into David's eyes.  "I think we may have to delay our ceremony."

David does a quick calculation, realizing that the Spring ceremony that they had talked Woolsey into having was almost the same time as when the babies were due.  "Oh...  Ohhh," he says.  "Yeah, good idea."

"You're not mad?" Evan asks.

Shaking his head, David doesn't even hesitate when he says, "Nope..." and then goes back to packing.  "We're practically married anyway...  's just a piece of paper."  As he puts some books into a box, he adds, "But don't be thinking you're getting off that easy, Evan Christopher Lorne!  You still owe me a ring," then winks at the man.  "Now get over here and help me pack."

"Shouldn't we decide on an apartment first?" Evan asks.

David looks up from the box he's packing.  "Details, details," he says, then winks at Evan before getting back to work.

Two weeks later, Evan and David are called to the infirmary.  "Take a seat, please," Carson says with a serious tone.

David almost immediately goes white, thinking the worst as Evan reaches out a hand to steady him.  "Everything alright, Doc?" Evan asks as he guides David into his seat, then sits down himself.

"Mostly," Carson replies.  "You remember I told you the eggs dunna always take the first time, yes?"

David squeezes Evan's hand.  "So we're not pregnant?" he asks.

"Peerma isn't pregnant, no.  Poor lass - she's taking it quite hard.  But Gheema's test results came back positive, so you do have a wee one on the way."

Leaning forward, Evan asks, "So what's going on?"

"Well," Carson says.  "I know that you'd wanted the babies to be born at the same time.  With Peerma not pregnant, I wanted to see if you'd changed your mind."

"No, two.  Definitely two," David says as he bobs his head up and down.  He glances at Evan, who smiles in agreement. 

"Well there's no guarantees - you boys know that already.  It could take two or three cycles before an egg takes.  If ever."  Reaching into his desk drawer, Carson continues, voice notably more jovial this time.  "But this means I'll need another sample."  He hands over another specimen cup and brown paper bag. 

Evan, who had lost some weight soon after the return to Pegasus and their routine, stands up and adjusts the way his BDUs fit on his hips, Carson laughing and saying, "I dunna need it now, son!"

Blushing, Evan wipes his face with his hand.  "Oh jeez, Doc," he sighs.  "Besides," he adds as he points to his partner, "this one's David's."

"Off ya go, then," Carson says, David hearing him quietly laugh as they retreat back into Atlantis.

~*~*~

Five weeks later, David and Evan are once again called into Carson's office.  Having been through it once before, both Evan and David are more relaxed this time.  As David sits, he asks, "We still not get Peerma pregnant?" he asks.

"About that, luv...  I actually have good news.  The eggs took this time."

David reaches over, hugging Evan.  As he goes to kiss him, he misses as Evan turns his face back to Carson and clarifies, "Eggs?"

"Ya..." Carson says, then lets out a sigh.  "Two of them."  He squints up his face and asks, "Is that okay?  I know you boys were wanting just the two."

David looks at Evan, head bobbed to the side slightly with a gentle smile on his face - what Evan had once deemed David's 'puppydog face'.  Evan responds with a heavy sigh, then shakes his head.  "Yeah, Carson.  It is."  He turns back to David, pointing an accusing finger at him.  "You did this," he says convivially.  "I don’t know how - I don't know when...  But this is your doing, Boo."

"Who, me?" David asks with a huge smile on his face. "I wasn't even near her when she got pregnant."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Evan says as he stands to leave Carson's office. 

"If you want, we can test the man's sperm again, Evan," Carson offers with a smile.

David grabs Evan's shoulder and heads for the door.  "No worry for formalities, Carson.  I'll get him a fresh sample tonight."

He's pretty sure the noise behind him was the sound of Carson falling out of his chair, but it's hard to tell based on the volume of Carson's laugh.

~*~*~

"This is the third time in eight weeks, Carson," Evan says as he and David stride into the office.  "Babies okay?"

Carson gives them a serious look, then gestures to the men to sit down. 

"Oh, no," Evan says, shaking his hands.  "Last time you gave us that look and told us to sit down, you told us we were having twins."

"Ya are having twins, luv," Carson says.

"Yes," David says, looking at Evan and then Carson.  "Two eggs latched on for Peerma, so we're having fraternal twins."

Carson smiles, then pulls a bottle out of his desk drawer, Evan automatically replying, "Oh god..."

"Like I said," Carson starts, pouring two fingers of Scotch into a cup, "you are having twins.  Yes, Peerma's having a pair of fraternal twins."

Evan looks at David, then the cup, then Carson.  "So what's the-"

"It's Gheema," Carson says.  "She's having maternal twins."

"Oh my god," Evan says, as David pipes up with a loud, "What?!?!"

"I confirmed it with a sonogram this morning," Carson says.  "Would you like to see?"

~*~*~

Later that night, Evan and David try to go back to their day, but are both stunned silent.  Radek had been nearby Carson's office, so news of their two sets of twins is first on Atlantis' rumor mill, spreading like wildfire.  Evan tries to go back to work, but David is so out of it, that he tags along with Evan to his office.  After a silent hour in the office, they decide to go to the Mess for an early dinner.

Evan leads David into the Mess, stopping short just as he enters the doorway and causing David to run into him.  "You okay, Ev?" David asks.

Evan doesn't respond.  Instead he just raises a hand, pointing at something inside the Mess.  David follows his point of sight, eyes landing on John Sheppard and Rodney McKay as they each fuss with a toddler. 

"Oh god," David says.

Each man stands frozen, David paralyzed by the fact that this will soon be them - only with four kids and not two.  They only come out of it when they watch Sheppard hand over a spoonful of mashed vegetables to Merra, and after one taste, she flings it at Rodney McKay - the colorful mix sticking to his forehead.

"Is it okay if we eat in our room?  Just tonight?" Evan asks.

David nods silently, then guides Evan to the food line.

~*~*~

To make things easier on Evan and David, as well as Gheema and Peerma, the couple invites the surrogates to move into the apartment, taking the third bedroom, waiting on them throughout the entire pregnancy.  They'd moved into a three-bedroom apartment in Atlantis' new family wing, deciding that, until the kids went to college, they could share rooms.  The only wrench was that they'd insisted on not knowing the gender of the babies, so everything would be a surprise as each child showed up. 

"This just isn't fair," Evan says as he puts the finishing touches on the last crib late in the evening of Gheema's ninth month. 

"What's not fair, sweetheart?" David asks as he arranges, then rearranges the stuffed animals that Evan's sister had shipped to them upon hearing the news. 

"Sheppard got two months off when Zach and Merra showed up."  After a pause, he complains, "We're only getting three!"

Rolling his eyes, David crosses to his partner and pulls him into a hug.  But before he can try and reason with him (Woolsey had actually said, "Take as much time as you two need.  Two, three months..."), they hear a call from the adjoining room.

"Mister Lorne?  Mister Parrish?" Peerma calls, then waddles into the nursery.

David and Evan are at her side in an instant.  "Everything okay?  Can we get you anything?  Water?  A snack?"

"I am fine, thank you.  But," she turns to gesture to the next room, "my sister's water just broke."  She smiles - as both Evan and David's face turn snowy white.  "I believe you're about to meet your children!"

~*~*~

Gheema gives birth to two astoundingly healthy baby boys - Elijah Christopher and Emmanuel Allen.  And though David and Evan still haven't managed to have a ceremony, they talk Woolsey into having hyphenated last names for the birth certificates. 

"Yeah, we gotta do that," Evan says, referring to their marriage ceremony, yawning as he's picking up the boys' birth certificates a few days after they're born.

"You know," Richard offers, "a simple ceremony will only take a few minutes."

Evan looks at David, who's also fighting a yawn.  The boys were born healthy, and hungry, so every two to three hour feedings were taking their toll on the amount of sleep they were getting.  "You wanna?" he asks.

"Oh Ev...  I don't care.  I guess?" David replies.  He's so tired, he'll agree to anything.

Richard Woolsey smiles.  "Very well.  Let me just get-"

"Carson to Lorne and Parrish," blares over the radio.

Hitting his comm, Evan responds, "Lorne here."

"You may want to get down here.  Peerma's gone into contractions and is dilated 6 centimeters; I think you're just about to be dads.  Again."

David looks at Evan, each man trying to decide exactly what to do.  With a nod, they both turn to Woolsey, Evan saying, "Another time!" before handing over Elijah to the expedition leader, David handing over Emmanuel a second later. 

"We'll be back!" David calls over his shoulder.  He dashes to catch up with Evan, who's already sprinted halfway to the infirmary, when he hears a beep in his radio.  "Parrish," he responds, nearly out of breath from sleep exhaustion and the sudden exertion.

David can't quite make out the voices from the other side of the radio.  Part of it seems to be Richard Woolsey, quite unhappy at having two armfuls of newborn, and the other part is the sound of the control room, erupting in laughter.

As the laughter dies down, David hears, "Campbell to Parrish."

"Parrish here," he says as he rounds the last corner to the infirmary.

"We've got the little ones covered here.  Take your time.  And congratulations in advance!"

"Thanks, Chuck," David manages.  "Parrish out."

Peerma, though she was five weeks early, was quite ready to give birth, based on the size of her belly alone.  Evan and David join her in the delivery room (Evan not passing out - this time), and with just five hours of labor, gives them two more beautiful baby boys. 

"You're going to need a bigger pram, I'm afraid," Carson says as he hands the second baby over to a waiting nurse.  "So have you decided on names yet, lads?"

David looks at Evan, then nods.  "Dodge Allen and Dexter Christopher."

"But I thought Allen and Christopher-"

"They are Elijah and Emmanuel's middle names.  They're also ours."

"Aah," Carson says with a smile.  "I'll just send the information on to Richard then..."

~*~*~

Elijah, Emmanuel, Dodge, and Dexter slip into David and Evan's lives relatively easily.  They take three months off, and like most parents, are sleep deprived for the first few years. 

Soon after they enter toddlerhood, John Sheppard insists that Rodney develop and set up some perimeter barricades around Atlantis, so he's not always overrun with children.  For some reason, all of the children on Atlantis - Zach and Merra, Evan and David's brood (nicknamed "The Dirty Deed" because the first letters of each of their first names spells out "DEED"), Zelenka and Miko's little girl Charlotte, and Ronon and Amelia Bank's kids Khanala and Anthony, are all drawn to the man.  And all somehow end up in Sheppard's office - together, and on multiple occasions. 

"Look what they did," John says, pointing to Evan and David's kids.  "And I just finished that duty roster."  With a sigh, he asks, "When did my office become Atlantis' daycare center?"

"Oh those take no time at all to do, Colonel," Evan says with a smile, pointing to the duty roster.

Sheppard sighs as Dodge rips another page in half, Elijah slipping it into his mouth a second later.  "I'm getting' too old for this shit," he says.

"Shit!" pipes up a tiny voice from the corner.  Evan peers over a cabinet, finding Charlotte hiding, happily coloring on the walls with a magic marker.  "Shit!" she says again.

"This one's all yours, Sheppard," Evan says.  Turning to his own kids, he says, "C'mon boys.  Hut hut hut!"  And just like that, Evan walks from Sheppard's office, each of his four kids marching in line behind him.

~*~*~

Atlantis turns from a military installation to a colony with every passing day, leaping forward on days that another child is born.  And though Pegasus is still a dangerous place at times, the successful eradication of the Wraith had made it that much more welcoming and safe.

The night before the boys start school on Atlantis, Evan makes a big meal in their quarters.  And while it's hard to wrangle five year olds, Evan has had a way with them since they were born; David thinks it's something to do with his military training, but Evan swears it just comes natural.

"You boys ready to start school?" David asks as he dishes out a quinoa casserole and chicken onto each plate.

"Awww...  Can't you teach us, Daddy and Poppy?" Emmanuel asks, his brothers chiming in their approval a moment later.  "Please?" they all ask, somehow in perfect unison.

"Well," Evan starts.  "Your Poppy and I were talking about that," Evan says, then shares a knowing smile with David. 

The next morning, Evan reports to Sheppard's office, David in tow. 

"Colonel," Sheppard says.  He glances at something outside of his office, then says, "Hold on a sec."  He disappears into the corridor, coming back with Merra, who is clutching her skateboard tight.  "I told you that your Poppa wants you to wear your helmet," he says to her, sitting down in his chair with Merra on his lap.  "Sorry 'bout that."

"But you don't wear your helmet, Daddy," Merra counters.

John smirks as David mutters, "Hoisted by your own petard, eh, Sheppard?", John flipping him off a second later.

"Anyway," Evan says, then hands over a piece of paper.

"This what I think it is?" Sheppard asks, then opens the paper and reads it over.  "You know Rodney's gonna be all over my case now, right?"

"Sorry, Sir," Evan says.  "But we still don't have an art teacher for the school - and I'd like to apply."

~*~*~

Evan retires a few weeks before Sheppard does, allowing both the art and math teaching positions to be filled.  The boys soar through school, getting into trouble as often as possible - be it supergluing an SGC delegate to their toilet seat, filling the salt shakers in the mess with sugar, or conspiring with the other kids to steal a jumper to go off-world (stopped only when they can't figure out how to open the ceiling in the jumper bay).

One night, when the boys come home from school with the assignment to read Romeo and Juliet, Emmanuel, the usual instigator of the bunch, asks, "So how did you and Poppy meet, Daddy?"

David shares a look with Evan, knowing they're still a bit too young to know about the Wraith that really brought the two together.  Instead, Evan glosses over that part of the trip, David throwing in a few facts that Evan leaves out.

"So when did you get married?" Dexter asks.

David and Evan share a long look.

"You know," David manages, "we didn't yet.  We wanted to wait until you boys were old enough so you could help us."

"Can we do that?" Dodge asks.

Smiling, Evan says, "You bet."

~*~*~

"Woolsey to Lorne and Parrish," comes through the radio early one morning a few days later.

"Oh god - what did they do now?" Evan asks before he responds.  "Lorne here."

"I need you and Doctor Parrish to come to the Mess immediately."  Before David or Evan can ask why, they hear, "Woolsey out."

David and Evan dress quickly, then head out to the Mess.  The halls are quieter than normal, though as they approach the Mess, they start to hear a murmur.  They peek their heads inside, Evan asking, "Did they..."

Both men enter the Mess hall, which is decorated like a sixth grade school dance, with streamers on every available wall surface, and paper cutouts on every table.  "Well I'll be damned," David says, pulling Evan's hand into his own.  He smiles at Evan, then takes the room in.  Dexter and Elijah are standing to the left of a makeshift alter, Dodge and Emmanuel on the right, with Woolsey standing in the middle.  And surrounding them is practically the entire population of Atlantis, beaming at the couple.

Dodge and Dexter run down the middle of the room, each clutching something white.  They pull their fathers down, pinning a flower onto their shirts before turning and running back.  David recognizes the fragrance and his eyes go big, quietly asking Evan, "Are these my prized-"

"Remember, honey," Evan says, "we told them they could help."

The ceremony takes all of ten minutes, but the reception lasts until far past noon.  The couple shares their first dance, the boys deciding to swap out "How Do I Live?" for the Chicken Dance halfway through, joining their fathers on the dance floor.  After cake and refreshments, Dodge asks, "So can we go on vacation now?"

"Vacation?" Evan and David ask in unison.

"Yeah - honeymoon vacations," Dexter adds.  "Uncle Ronon and Uncle John helped us plan it out."

David and Evan scan the area, spotting a suspicious looking Dex and Sheppard talking nearby, each man smirking when they catch their eye.  "And what, pray tell, did your sneaky uncles plan for us?"

"It's a 'thosian cabin out in the woods," Dodge says.  "We get to run an play an jump an swim an picnic for ten whole daysWithout school!" 

His brothers high-five him at that revelation, while David and Evan just roll their eyes.

"You know," David says quietly to Evan, "it won't be all that bad."  Taking Evan into his arms, he looks down (ignoring the "ewww" he gets when he kisses his husband), and says, "Ten days away?  Just us and the kids?"  At Evan's plaintive look, he says, "C'mon, Ev.  You know you'd be worried about them until we got back anyway.  Right?"

Evan just smiles, then pulls David into another kiss.