SquidgeWorld Archive

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Futile
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I should have told her she didn't stand a chance. Not many do. One
look into those intense eyes and captivating smile and they were all
lost. She was no exception. She tried to be cool, collected and
detached. It was amusing watching her fight it. Some of them fight,
but eventually, they all succumbed to the charms of my partner, Olivia
Benson.

It annoyed me to no end at first that she got all the attention.
Although I'm a married man, I'm still a man. I like to have a woman
flirt with me or give me the once over every so often, despite the
fact that I'd never cheat on my wife. But whenever my partner is
around, I don't exist.

I don't think she even knows the power she holds over them. In fact, I
know she doesn't, and it's that obliviousness that draws them to her.
Just ask my eldest daughter. I was always afraid that if I ever got
some young hotshot male partner, there was a chance Maureen would
develop some kind of crush on him. So, when Olivia became my partner,
I had no worries. I still didn't have any worries when I found out
Olivia was gay, although Kathy did reveal that she was more than a
little relieved. Then Maureen came out to us, and shortly after,
started to become starry eyed every time Olivia was around. I didn't
have a problem with Maureen's sexual preferences, but I did have a
problem with her crush on Olivia. As much as I love Olivia, I didn't
want to see my daughter get her heart broken, which was inevitable,
even discounting the age gap between them.

One night after dinner at our place, I had to have the talk with
Olivia as a concerned father.

"Hey Liv?" I began, as I walked her out to her car.

"Yeah, El?" she replied with that grin of hers that drives them all crazy.

"Have you noticed Maureen's behavior lately?"

"What do you mean?" she asked in reply and I could tell that she was
hiding something.

"What aren't you telling me, Liv?" I replied with a question of my own.

"Look, Elliot, I promised her," she answered cryptically. "If you're
curious about Maureen, maybe you should talk to her." I finally got
it. It shouldn't have surprised me that Maureen had gone to Olivia
first about her sexuality. "Liv, she's already talked to us. We know."

"Good," she replied. "From the looks of it, you guys are handling it
pretty well."

"Well, there is something that I'm not sure I can handle," I said.

"What?"

"Have you seen the way she looks at you?"

"What about the way she looks at me?"

"She adores you."

"I think she sees me as some kind of lesbian hero, someone who made it
easier for her to come to terms with her sexuality."

"No, it's more than that. She REALLY adores you."

"Oh," she said, and then it sunk in. "Oh. Elliot, I swear to God, I
never..."

"It's okay," I said, realizing how clueless she was about her sex
appeal. "Just tell me you'll let her down easy, and soon. I don't want
her to get her heart broken."

"You think I'd hurt Maureen?" she asked, a mixed expression of hurt,
anger and disbelief.

"Not knowingly, no," I said. "But in case you didn't know, you've left
a very long trail of broken hearts in your wake and I just don't want
my daughter caught up in it."

"What are you talking about, 'trail of broken hearts'?" she asked,
confused.

"Forget it," I said. "Just talk to Maureen, okay?"

"Okay," she said as she got into her car and started the engine.
"You're just jealous of my harem, Stabler."

"Yeah, I am and so are all the other guys on the squad," I said with a
smile.

"See ya tomorrow," she said with that lopsided smile of hers and drove
off. I waved and walked back to the house, hoping that I wasn't too
late to save my daughter's heart.

I don't know what Olivia did or how she did it, but Maureen quickly
moved on from her first crush on a woman and found a girlfriend. The
woman was smooth. The guys often learned a thing or two from her on
why they didn't get the girls and she did. I just enjoyed living
vicariously through her.

I remember one day when a bouquet of exotic flowers was delivered to
the stationhouse for her. She was reading the card when Munch walked
up behind her and read over her shoulder.

"'We had a great time, love, Kimmy and Kelly'? Sisters?" Munch asked,
raising his eyebrows suggestively.

She looked at him and I thought he was going to burst into flames on
the spot, but then she broke out into a huge shit-eating grin and
simply said, "Twins." She sat down at her desk as if nothing happened,
while Munch and Fin tried to pick up their jaws from off the floor. I
sat and laughed.

I had seen the twins leaving her apartment that morning when I came to
pick her up. Like usual, I didn't ask, because gentlemen never ask,
and she didn't tell, because she wasn't the telling kind. Our only
exchange was the usual "Lucky sonofabitch" from me, and "You know it"
from her.

Even ADA Alexandra Cabot, whom everyone thought was straight, fell
under the spell of my partner. Many times the guys and I invited her

out for drinks with us, and many times she declined. Then it dawned on
me that all our invitations were extended when Olivia wasn't around or
was out of view. One evening, we were all sitting around getting
ready to head out for a drink. Cabot had called to say that she was
coming over to give us the news on our last case. We heard through the
grapevine that the DA's office had dropped the case against Elias
Barrera. Chances are, Cabot was in the hot seat and was probably
looking to see some friendly faces. I suggested we invite her out
with us. Munch held up a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Twenty bucks
says she turns us down."

"She's a pretty girl, it wouldn't surprise me if she's got something
better to do on a Friday night than to go for drinks with a buncha
cops," Fin said, declining the bet.

I knew easy money when I saw it. I pulled out a twenty and said,
"You're on."

A few minutes later, Cabot came into the bullpen and looked relieved
to see us. We congratulated her and I offered the invite. "We're on
our way to McMullen's. How 'bout we buy you a congratulatory drink?"

She did what I thought she'd do. She turned to Olivia, who gave her a
nod and a smile, and she accepted the invitation with a smile of her
own. As we left, Munch disappointedly held up my money.

"How'd you know, Stabler?" he whispered.

"Intuition, John, intuition," I replied with a grin and took my money.

I liked Alex. She was a tough ADA and made life miserable for us at
times, but she only did it to ensure that the bad guys wouldn't slip
through a loophole or get off on some technicality. I felt bad for her
when I realized that she had fallen for Olivia. But once again, my
partner proved my worries to be unnecessary. Just like Maureen, Alex
got over Olivia, and they became good friends.

Whether it was borne out of the ultimate male fantasy or an altruistic
attitude towards Olivia, the guys thought that Alex was a good match
for Olivia, and not just for a one-night stand. What the guys didn't
know was that Olivia didn't do relationships. She loved the chase. She
lived for the adrenaline rush of flirting and pursuing new blood. The
ones that pursued her never got a second glance.

When ADA Casey Novak showed up during a house search on her first SVU
case, I had to chuckle at her attempt to be authoritative, especially
where Olivia was concerned. I had to give her credit for standing her
ground and trying. I thought perhaps Casey would give Olivia a run for
her money because after we left Brianna Morris' apartment, Olivia
launched into a tirade the entire car ride to the station house about
how clueless and arrogant the new ADA was. All I could do was smile,
which only irritated her more.

"What the hell are you smiling about?" she asked, her question
smothered with irritation.

"You like her."

"The hell I do. Have you been listening to a word I've said?"

"Yes I have and I know you. You like her."

"Shut up, Elliot," she said. "Besides, she's straight as a nail."

"Yeah, we all thought Cabot was as well, but she only lasted four
weeks," I reminded her. I heard no response and looked over at my
partner. I was sure I saw tears building up before she quickly blinked
and turned to look out her window. I let the subject drop, but I still
gave Casey Novak a generous two weeks until she fell for Olivia.

It didn't take two weeks. The very next day, I knew Casey was doomed.
Olivia was one fiery anger ball who hauled off like a hurricane to
give the new ADA a piece of her mind. Nothing gets the women more than
a pissed off Olivia Benson.

Whatever it was that happened between the two of them, Olivia became
nicer to Casey and they even became friends. Although she didn't see
it, I saw the change in Casey. She started to display the symptoms
that all of Olivia Benson's casualties of infatuation did. She began
to visit us at the station more often. She called a little more
frequently. She wasn't as brash as she was when she first started, at
least not to Olivia or me. And there was always "the look". I knew
this look. It was the "I'd love to explore every curve of your body"
look that was so often directed at my partner. Sometimes "the look"
was so blatant that I wondered if my partner was blind because she
never reacted to it. It was either that or she had one hell of a
poker face.

It was a slow day, so we headed out for lunch at a diner close by. It
was just the two of us, so I brought up the topic of Casey. "So, how
are things going with Novak?" I asked after our food was brought out
to us.

"Why are you asking me? You see her as much as I do," she said,
nibbling on a fry.

"Is this your poker face, or are you that clueless?" I asked, unable
to believe that she could be so unaware of the affect she had on
women.

"Elliot, what the hell are you talking about?" she said, putting down
her fry and looking at me.

"Casey has a crush on you," I stated plainly.

"No, she doesn't," she answered, screwing up her face.

"Yes, she does. She's exhibiting all the same signs and symptoms that
Cabot did," I reassured her. "Look, she's a good kid, give her a
chance. I can see the chemistry between you two."

"Forget it, Elliot," she said with a slight warning in her tone.

"Why not?" I said, ignoring her tone. "When was the last time you had
a relationship? I mean one that lasted more than one night."

If looks could kill, I'd have been a dead man right then and there.

"I said drop it," she said quietly and looked down at her plate as she
pushed some fries around with her fork.

I didn't say another word and just watched her. I thought back on the
words that I just spoke to her and let my memory begin to unwind. It
started to dawn on me that she hadn't had any overnight guests in
awhile. I kept thinking farther and farther back and realized that she
hadn't had any "visitors" in over three years. What had happened? Why
hadn't I noticed it before? Was it possible? I thought they were just
friends. Come to think of it, she always got a little tense whenever I
mentioned Alex.

"It's Alex isn't it?" I asked softly. She lifted her gaze to look at me.

"What about Alex?" she asked in return, her anger from before
completely dissipated.

"You're in love with her," I stated. She gave no answer, just a
resigned look that told me I was right. "I thought you guys were just
friends. I knew she was in love with you, but I thought you didn't
feel the same way."

"I didn't...at first," she said wistfully. "But she was there for me
after my mother died." She looked down again and started to poke at
her food.

I couldn't help but smile. Olivia Benson was always surprising me. She
always did that, just when I think I had her figured out, she'd hit me
with something new. When I thought she was straight, she told me she
was gay. When I thought she had a girlfriend, she told me she didn't
do girlfriends. And when I think she's still playing the field, she
tells me she's been in love with the same woman for years.

I shook my head. Poor Novak, she doesn't stand a chance in hell.

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The End
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