Work Text:
The Ghost of Christmas Past
by Rebel
"Ellison! My office! Now!"
The few remaining people in the bullpen automatically glanced first at Captain Simon Banks then at Detective Jim Ellison. They returned their eyes to the work on their desks when Jim glared at them as he walked across the bullpen.
Jim closed the door to Simon's office and sat down when Simon gestured towards the chair. "Yes, sir?"
"You've worked late every night for the past week and a half, Jim." Simon leaned back in his chair. "Unless Sandburg's around, I've never seen your reports so up-to-date."
"Captain! C'mon!" Jim protested.
"So why the sudden desire to keep my in-basket full?" Simon queried.
Jim stared at his Captain and friend, then ran a hand through his short hair. "I...It's difficult at home right now, Simon."
Simon was one of the few who knew that Jim and his partner, Blair Sandburg, had recently become lovers. He slowly nodded. "Your first Christmas together."
"Yeah," Jim nodded.
Simon sighed. "Joan and I got married the first of December. I remember her going all out that first year. I could hardly get through the door for all the Christmas decorations."
"Exactly!" Jim exploded. "We've got Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa's Toy Room on the dining room table as a centerpiece, which by the way, doesn't leave a lot of room to EAT! There's a miniature railroad track, complete with train, train cars, and a caboose, running around the edge of the coffee table in the living room! In the middle of THAT is a Nativity scene! Which, if you think about it, is...WEIRD! Blair's strung garlands and ivy along the railing up to the bedroom! We have pine cones, unscented thank God, all over the loft! He's even got one sitting on top of the television set! A man can only take so much! Ever since the day after Thanksgiving, Blair's been running around like one of Santa's elves on crack! Decorate this...decorate that...garlands here...wreaths there...And the music! I never thought I'd WANT to hear the sounds of aboriginal grunge music or whatever it is that Sandburg listens to!"
"No tree yet?" Simon innocently asked.
"Not for lack of suggesting," Jim grumbled. "He wants us to go together to cut down a big tree. I suggested a small table-top artificial tree and got a lecture on needless commercialism. I told him I didn't think it was necessary to needlessly sacrifice a tree." Jim sighed. "He didn't speak to me for a whole day."
"Overdoing the Christmas music?" Simon guessed.
"I swear, Simon, if I hear one more version of Carol of the Bells, I'm taking out my piece and shooting the stereo." Jim shook his head. "So, for the sake of peace, I've been working late."
Simon slowly nodded. "You're a lucky man, Ellison."
"Excuse me, sir?"
Simon leaned forward in his chair. "Daryl's spending Christmas with his mother this year. In Sacramento."
"Oh." Jim studied the floor for a few minutes, remembering the many Christmas days he'd spent alone while in the Army. "You're right, sir. I AM a lucky man." He raised his head and slightly grinned. "Guess it's a good thing I'm off duty tomorrow. I'll be cutting down one big-assed Christmas tree and dragging it home."
"That should work as a peace offering," Simon admitted with a nod and grin.
"You don't know Sandburg, sir," Jim chuckled as he stood. "I'm sure there'll be more involved than a tree."
Simon quickly raised a hand. "I don't need to know the specifics, Ellison."
"No, sir. Good-night, sir."
Jim quickly cleared his desk and powered down his computer. As he left, he automatically glanced at the duty board then stopped. His name had been removed from the Christmas Day duty roster by Simon's name. Jim glanced at Simon's office then briskly walked towards the elevator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blair Sandburg looked up in surprise when the door to the loft opened and Jim walked in. "Hey! You're home early!" He guiltily glanced down at the kitchen table where he was sprinkling different colors of glitter on small cardboard stars. "Uh...I was going to have this done by the time you got home..."
Jim shrugged out of his coat and walked to the table. He looked at the red, green, blue, silver, and gold stars neatly placed on the table around Rudolf and Santa's Toy Room. "Homemade tree decorations?" he guessed.
"Yeah." Blair glanced helplessly at the mess in front of him then screwed the lid on the jar of gold glitter. "I'll get this cleaned up. Have you eaten?"
"It can wait," Jim shrugged. "C'mon, let's go sit on the couch. Okay?"
Blair's eyes widened as he watched Jim stroll into the living room. Silently, he followed, nervously rubbing his hands against his thighs. He sat down next to Jim and waited.
"First, I want to apologize for being such a jerk about..." Jim waved a hand at the surrounding Christmas decorations.
"I got out of hand, didn't I?" Blair quietly spoke. "I know you hate clutter but..."
Jim raised a hand to stop him from continuing. "I didn't have to be a jerk about it. I'm sorry."
Blair slowly smiled. "Apology accepted."
Jim nodded in agreement. "I've got tomorrow off so I'm thinking we could go looking for a tree. Maybe we could compromise, though? Nothing really big?"
"Sure!" Blair bounced once on the couch. "I mean, big is good, but there are a lot of nice small trees, right? We don't have to do a big tree."
Jim sighed and leaned back in the couch. He crossed his arms over his chest and quietly spoke. "The first real Christmas I remember in detail was when I was six. It was a perfect Christmas. It was my last day at school before the holiday break and when I got home, Stevie was just up from his nap. He met me at the door and grabbed my hand. It seems that while he was asleep and I was at school, a Christmas tree had suddenly appeared in the living room."
Blair grinned. "Miraculously appeared, huh?"
Jim nodded. "It was a big and beautiful green tree. It smelled heavenly and had all these twinkling lights. And on the top was this beautiful silver and blue angel, her wings fully spread." He briefly closed his eyes. "That year Stevie and I got everything we asked Santa for. Everything."
"Just perfect," Blair whispered.
Jim nodded, turning his head to look at Blair. "The next year, Mom left us two weeks before Christmas."
"WHAT!?!" Blair jumped to his feet. "TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!?! THAT BITCH!" He began pacing, pulling at his hair.
"Blair..."
"No! I will NOT apologize for calling her a bitch! Unless she felt her life was in danger, she had NO business leaving her children TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! What was the hurry, huh?! What was the DAMNED HURRY?! She couldn't wait until after New Year's?"
"Blair!" Jim caught Blair's arm as he paced. "Please...sit down. It was a long time ago."
"I don't care!" Blair pulled once more on his hair. "That's...that's...AWFUL!"
"Yeah. But that's not the point, Chief." Jim waited until he had Blair's attention. "The point is, I had a perfect Christmas and then it all fell apart. Understand?"
Blair stared at Jim for a few seconds then nodded. "And I'm wanting to make this a perfect Christmas."
Jim nodded. "I don't want a perfect Christmas, Blair. I want a Christmas with you."
Blair slowly chuckled. "The sad thing is, Jim, I completely understand that statement." He leaned forward and gently kissed Jim's mouth. "So how about a slightly imperfect Christmas? With a small tabletop artificial tree?"
Jim glanced at the coffee table. "So where would the railroad and Nativity scene go?"
Blair shrugged. "The railroad can stay on the table. I'll just move the Nativity scene to the top of the dresser upstairs."
Inwardly Jim sighed, but he smiled. "Deal." He pulled Blair closer and the two men snuggled together on the couch. "Daryl's spending Christmas with Joan in Sacramento this year. Simon took me off Christmas Day duty and is taking it himself."
"Wow." Blair twisted his head to look up at Jim. "I think we should do something about that."
Jim slowly nodded. "So do I."
"I'll just cook a little more...okay double it...you'll have to help some. We'll take it to the station and have a party there." Blair grinned. "Christmas with an Ellison-Sandburg twist."
"That's Sandburg-Ellison twist," Jim mock-growled. He kissed Blair again then leaned back in the couch, closing his eyes, content with the moment.
A few seconds later, Jim's blue eyes flew open. He glared down at the top of Blair's head. The little shit was humming Carol of the Bells.
November 2012