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Part 3 of Baby Singer
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-05
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Summer Rain

Summary:

"A steady downpour fell, making Hilary feel more and more gloomy with each raindrop...."

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(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Baby Singer #9: Summer Rain
by Michele Savage

Saturday, July 8th, 1944

A steady downpour fell, making Hilary feel more and more gloomy with each raindrop. She brushed aside the curtain in the den, looked at the darkening sky and sighed. She hated steady summer rains. They were, to her, omens. Especially today.

Shaking away the thoughts she turned to look at the two children who played happily together on the den floor. Satisfied that they were occupied, Hilary walked to the shelf and pulled out her photo albums. She pulled all of them off the shelf, including the older one that she kept hidden in the back.

Curling up on the couch, Hilary opened the albums and began to lose herself in memories. She smiled sadly at the pictures of Jeff with Bethie. Would she ever see that again? She glanced again at the two kids and wondered what she would do if Jeff-- . She drew a deep breath, closed her eyes and stopped the direction of her thoughts.

She put the pictures of Jeff aside and opened the older album, it's spine cracking in protest. This book she only looked at once a year. It was one that Jeff did not know existed. Her memories of Edward. Thunder rumbled in the distance and with it she could almost imagine the roar of the steam engine that took him away from her.

"Who that, mama?"

Hilary's attention was pulled back into the present when Bethie sat on the couch next to her and pointed to a picture of two teenagers who were desperately in love. "Two people who barely exist anymore." Hilary said softly.

At Bethie's confused look , Hilary smiled and explained, "That is me when I was a teenager." She showed her daughter the picture, "and that handsome fella there is someone I once loved as much as I love your daddy."

Bethie smiled, "Mama pretty." She observed and leaned against her mother, hugging her side.

Alexander crawled to Hilary's feet and reached his hands out to be picked up. Hilary lay the books aside and set her son on her lap . Alexander, thumb in mouth, leaned tiredly against her stomach. "Do you know that I think it is nap time."

"Mama," Bethie whined, "not tired, no nap."

Hilary smiled, "Your brother seems to disagree." She gently hugged the nine-month old closer. He looked upwards at her and smiled around his thumb. The movement threw him off balance and he fell back into the crook of her arm, with a sleepy giggle.

She looked back at Bethie and said, "I'll tell you what, I will call Aunt Susy and see if she can come stay with you for a little bit while mama runs some errands."

"Okay," the little girl agreed with a grin.

Hilary stood, moving Alexander against her shoulder and walked to the telephone. She called her neighbor and asked if she would please come sit with the children. Susan responded that she would and to give her a few minutes to gather her own two kids together.

"Johnny coming?" Bethie asked.

"Yes, Johnny is coming," Hilary answered.

Bethie looked crestfallen, "Oh."

Hilary laughed at the look on her daughter's face. She remembered when she and Eddie had been growing up, the trouble they'd gotten into.

The tree house in his back yard.

That tree house was where they had told all their fears, dreams, plans for the future. It was where they'd fallen in love; where they spent their first and last night together. Hilary sighed softly at the memory.

"Come on sweetie, let's put brother to bed." She told Bethie, then walked up to the children's room. She lay the baby down and handed him the stuffed bear he liked to snuggle.

As she left the room, she heard the back door open and the dog begin to bark, signaling the arrival of Susan.

"Hi Susan," Hilary addressed her friend as she met her in the dining room, "Thanks for coming with such a short notice."

"Hi Aunt Hilary," Johnny Sutton greeted, "where's Bethie?"

"She," Hilary turned, "Well, she was behind me. Maybe she's still in her room."

John started to rush through the living room but Hilary stopped him, "Be quiet. Alexander is trying to take a nap."

"Okay," the five year old whispered with a smile. He walked silently on to his destination.

Hilary walked into the den and grabbed the albums that she'd been looking at and the box of papers she kept carefully hidden in the back of the top shelf of the closet.

She placed the items in a sack and tucked them beneath a cloak for safeguarding against the rain. "Susan, I'll be back later. I have something I need to do."

"You all right?" Susan lay a concerned hand on Hilary's shoulder.

"I'm fine." Hilary assured her friend, "This is just something that I need to do today." She heard the honk from the cab she had called right after calling Susan. "Alexander just went down for a nap and they both just had lunch."

"Okay.' Susan acknowledged, "Take all the time you need. We'll be fine."

*****************

Hilary found an out of the way corner at the crowded train station where she could sit. These last couple years of coming down here have been hard. Watching couples saying goodbye for what could possibly be their last time. Invariably she remembered saying goodbye to her own husband just over a year ago. Had it already been that long? Hilary cringed as a train whistled it's departure.

The train station was fraught with many emotions; the prevalent one was sadness. Something the dreary thundering day did nothing to alleviate. Hilary pulled her eyes away from the many farewells and few welcomes that she was seeing.

She pulled the older photo album out of the cloak wrapped pack it was in and opened the pages until she found the very last picture. She and Edward standing in front of his tree house the morning that he left. His mother had graciously taken it for them, mostly for Hilary as she had wanted a new picture of them. She remembered calling it their "engagement photograph."

Edward had proposed marriage to her that morning. Promising that he'd be back to take her away from her home and her overbearing mother. Hilary smiled sadly as she remembered the night they had given themselves to each other. She had been seventeen and foolishly in love with her nineteen year old neighbor Edward Mullholland.

July 7th, 1917

"Eddie let me in!" Hilary whispered loudly as she stood on the top rung of the ladder he had propped against the large tree house in his back yard.

"Say please," came the request from inside the small wooden house.

"Eddie please, my mother will be home any minute. If she catches me over here again, I don't know what she'll do." Hilary said in a agitated voice.

"Do you love me?" He laughingly replied, enjoying her torment.

"Not at the moment." She replied seriously.

The door open and Eddie appeared, his brown eyes still held the amusement. "Sorry Fresh Face, I was just teasing." He held out his hand to pull her the rest of the way into the tree house.

"Eddie you know how my mother feels. I'd rather not be sent off to another one of those damned schools of hers," she admonished as she sat on the rug covered floor and regarded the wry grin on his angular face. "As it is, she's already talking about sending me off to another of those drama schools in New York."

"Hil you know I won't let that happen. She's just bound and determined to split us up." The brown-haired teen replied, "Besides, I thought you wanted to be an actress."

Hilary lay back and threw her arm over her head, "I do," she sat again and hugged her arms around her legs, "Oh Eddie, you don't know how much I want to be an actress, but, on -my- terms, not mama's."

She stretched dreamily, "Can you imagine me working on the Broadway stage with the very best." She lay back again, "Sarah Bernhardt, George Cohan, The Barrymores."

Edward laughed and lay next to her. He pulled the blue ribbon out of her long auburn hair and fanned it around her head, "I can imagine it because you can, Fresh Face."

Suddenly serious, Hilary reached a hand to her boyfriend's face, "Eddie are you scared?"

"About tomorrow?" He laughed, covering for the fear he was feeling. "Tomorrow is just a train ride, silly."

She smiled, but it quickly faded, "about going into the war."

"Why should I be scared?" He bravely bragged, "We're gonna kick those Germans from here to heck and then I'll be back home to you just real soon, Fresh Face."

"Do you promise?" She whispered, trying to stop the flow of her tears.

"Of course I do, Hilary." He leaned over her and kissed away the tears. "Will you wait for me?" he asked, finally admitting to some trepidation.

"Forever, Eddie," she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his body against hers. "I'll always wait for you." She kissed him and whispered, "Please let me stay here tonight, in your arms."

"But Hilary, your mother--"

"I don't care what my mother or anyone else thinks," she replied, "I don't want you to leave without me showing you how I feel."

Edward sat, "But Fresh Face, we were going to wait until after we . . . you know, got married."

Hilary sat, her hair spilling over her shoulders and down to the middle of her back. She pulled the buttons near her throat open and let the dress slide off her shoulders. She leaned closer and whispered against Eddie's lips, "We can pretend that tonight is our wedding night."

July 8th, 1944

The whistle of an arriving train startled Hilary back into the present and she took a deep breath. They had been two teenagers fumbling in the dark learning about each other's bodies and a little more about their own. She often thought back to that night, but never regretted a minute of it. They were in love and for those few precious hours the world consisted of nothing but the inside of that tree house.

Hilary watched as wounded soldiers were welcomed home by their loved ones, their journey away from home now over. She thought of Jeffrey somewhere out in the world. Is he still in one piece and healthy?

Her hand automatically went to the gold locket that she'd worn as promised every day since that January thirteenth when he'd left. She detached the locket from the pin it was hanging from and opened the clasp. Her face was half covered by the hat that Bethie had pulled over her eyes just as the photograph was snapped, but Jeff wore a happy laughing smile.

She missed that smile. Missed him. His last letter to her had been in May. Where was he now? What was he doing? Did he miss her as deeply? She often wondered these things when she felt the loneliness creeping into her bones. Especially on rainy days like this one.

Leaning her head back against the wall, Hilary thought again of Eddie. Since Jeff had also left much the same way, she'd begun to feel the loss of Eddie again. Why is it that wars always took those she cared about the most?

*********************

She watched the train pull out of the station again and remembered the day that Eddie left.

July 8th, 1917

Hilary sat on the floor wearing only her camisole and gathered her hair into a bun and started to wrap the blue ribbon around it to hold dark red mass into place.

"I like your hair much better down." Eddie told her as he was getting dressed.

She laughed, "Yes well after last night, if I'm not branded as a 'wanton woman' I certainly would be if I strolled casually through town with my hair down around my shoulders."

Eddie smiled, then scooted toward her. He took her hands into his, "Fresh Face, I know I can't give you much and it wouldn't be close to how you are used to living, but, will you marry me? As soon as I get back?"

"Oh Eddie, of course I will," she smiled. "I don't care how I live as long as it's with you."

"Here, I saved up my money from the lumberyard and bought you this. Sorry it isn't a big fancy diamond, but it was all I could afford on short notice." Eddie pulled out a delicately gold banded diamond chip ring.

"It's beautiful Eddie," she let him put it on her ring finger, then looked it over, "I'll always treasure it." She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him warmly.

He pulled away and looked at his watch, "It's nine-thirty, Hilary. You better get dressed if you're coming with me to the train station." He gave her a look full of longing and fear, "My train leaves in three hours."

She hugged him tightly before moving away to put on the remainder of her clothes. Once she was ready they descended the stairs of the tree house into the rainy, gloomy day. "I wish the sun was shining." she said as they rushed toward his house, "It would be nice to have a pretty day to see you off in."

Eddie's mother met them at the door, "Hilary your mother has been calling here nearly hourly since last night."

Hilary's smile faded, "I'm sorry Mrs. Mullholland, you didn't tell her I was here did you?"

The woman lay a caring hand across Hilary's back, "Of course not dear, the last thing your mother wants is food for the town gossips."

Hilary turned and hugged the woman, "Thank you Mrs. Mullholland. Some times I wish you were my mother."

The older woman pulled back and caught the glint off the ring on Hilary's finger. She held her hand and looked at the small diamond, "Looks like you're going to be getting your wish."

Hilary looked again at the ring and then back to Eddie, "Yeah," she smiled, "yeah, I guess it does."

July 8th, 1944

Hilary looked at the small ring she still wore on her right pinky. She never could bear the thought of taking it off. When she married Tom Parsons, she had it resized into a pinky ring and had only removed it once since then.

The diamond chip had fallen out nearly fifteen years ago and she'd never bothered to replace it. Until six years ago, when Jeff had noticed that the chip was gone and had surprised her with a replacement. They took it to a jewelers in New York and had it fixed.

He had never asked her where she'd gotten the ring and she'd never volunteered the information. But she had been truly flattered that he'd apparently noticed that the ring meant something to her and offered to have it repaired. It was then that she'd begun to finally realize that Jeffrey Singer meant as much to her as Eddie had.

She glanced again at the locket she still held, "Oh Jeffrey," she whispered, "I can't lose my heart to a war again."

Another train pulled in and she could hear a woman crying. She looked toward the cry and saw a couple embracing as if it were the last time they were going to see each other. Hilary closed her eyes to the sight and made a quick wish that he'd come home to his love.

She turned away and stared at the train, losing herself into the memory of the station and Eddie's goodbye.

July 8th, 1917

The rain poured down harder as they stood aside waiting for the train to arrive. It had started to thunder and Eddie pulled Hilary closer to him beneath the roof of the outer depot. The small station had been so crowded that many people were waiting outside in the rain. He'd at least found a dry corner for them to stand and wait.

Not wanting to contemplate the coming separation, Hilary asked, "Where are we going to live when you get back?"

"It was going to be a surprise, but I've been making payments on old man McKinley's place." Eddie told her, "I was going to tear down that shack of his and build you a nice shiny new house."

"Really?" She said excitedly, "Eddie that's all the way across town! My mother couldn't watch my every movement."

"I know, Fresh Face, that's why I chose the McKinley place." He told her proudly, "and you can study your acting whenever you want. If you want to go to New York, I won't stop you Hilary. We'll go together."

She threw herself into his arms, "Eddie I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Hilary." Eddie pulled away slightly and kept her in his arms. He started waltzing her around the small area that they were crowded into.

She giggled, "What are you doing?"

He leaned against her ear and whispered, "If we pretended last night was our wedding night, we forgot our first dance."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes wanting to remember this moment. The distant whistling of the arriving train caused her to jump and hold the man in her arms tighter.

Eddie too heard the train and moved to wrap his arms tightly around Hilary, suddenly afraid to let her go. "Hilary, I'll write to you everyday."

"I will too." She tried to keep her voice strong, "I'll make sure the payments are made on our land, so we can start on our house as soon as you get back."

"Okay. That will be a big help." He told her. He lay his hands on either side of her head and tilted her face toward his, "I want to memorize your face. I don't want to forget what you look like."

"You won't be gone that long." She said through tears she no longer cared to stop. "Why I'll bet you are home and we're married by this time next year."

The train pulled to a stop and the passengers departed it. All too soon the train was cleared, the new luggage loaded on to it and the conductor was calling "All aboard!"

"I hate those words." Hilary said trying, and failing, not to sob. She reached up and pulled the ribbon from her hair, letting it fall loose.

Eddie buried his hands into her hair, bringing a few strands to his nose, "I miss you already my Fresh Face."

Hilary grabbed his wrist and carefully tied the blue ribbon around it. "You gave me a ring, I'm giving you this. This way you'll always remember you have someone at home waiting for you."

Seeing their time had come to an end, Eddie bent and kissed her. He drew the kiss out as long as he could, as the conductor was now calling his last call. Eddie pulled away regretfully and started toward the train, "I'll never take this off, Fresh Face. Never!" He hopped onto the stairs, turned and called, "I love you Hilary Booth!"

"I love you too Eddie!" she answered as she watched him disappear into the train. He reappeared a few moments later at the back window, and she waved as she saw him again.

The train slowly began to pull out and she ran along side it as long as she could before she was stopped by a wooden post at the end of the passenger disembarking area. She waved until she could no longer see him, then leaned her forehead against the cool wet post and cried.

She'd walked dejectedly back to her own house, not caring that she was soaked to the skin and looked like a bedraggled neighborhood cat. She slammed the front door and was immediately met by her mother.

"Hilary Winslow Booth, you have some explaining to do. Where have you been?" Beverly Booth immediately started, not noticing the sadness on her daughter's face.

"Leave me alone mother." Hilary said quietly, her head bowed. Not in the mood for a fight she requested, "Can't you see I'm upset and soaked. I need to take a bath."

"You spent the night with that boy didn't you?" The woman charged forward as if she hadn't heard the plea.

Hilary looked up, anger sparking in her eyes, "Yes," she seethed, "I did! I spent the entire night in his bed. What do you care?" She started past her mother but was stopped when Beverly roughly grabbed her arm.

"If that boy has gotten you into trouble--" Beverly started, "Well, I guess you'll have your way won't you. I thought you were going to be an actress worthy of your name, not some lumberjack's bed mate."

Hilary jerked her arm out of her mother's grip. "Eddie asked me to marry him this morning. So you don't have to worry, if I am in trouble," she emphasized, "it won't matter."

"It will to me." Beverly sighed dramatically, "I always knew you'd take after the Booth side of the family." The woman straightened and calmly regarded her daughter. "Well, I guess the only thing we can do is hope that boy of yours is killed in battle. We can play on the sympathy of other's and somehow redeem your honor."

Shocked that her mother would so casually commit her beloved to death, Hilary walked to the woman and slapped her with all the force she could muster. "I hate you!" She turned and ran to her bedroom, locking the door against the rapidly approaching Beverly.

July 8th, 1944

That had been the last moment she'd ever spoken to her mother until that last December before Jeffrey had left. She snuck out of her bedroom window with a few of her belongings and ran next door to the Mullhollands'. Eddie's mother had taken her in gladly.

Finally excising her mother from her life for good that December two years ago had been the best thing she'd ever done.

Hilary put the locket back on it's little chain and opened the box she'd also brought. It was filled with letters that she'd written to Eddie and the two that he had written to her.

She took a pen and blank paper that she'd brought with her and began to write her annual letter to Eddie.

Eddie my love,

This is 1944, another year has passed since I last wrote. I've been thinking a lot of you lately. Especially since Jeffrey is still gone.

Yes, this war is still raging. Surely it can't go on much longer, as it is nearly every woman in this country has been touched by it's interference in their lives. So many women, who are getting telegrams daily that their husband or son has been cruelly taken from them. As you were from me.

Let's see, what has happened in my life since I last wrote. Ah yes, last time I remember telling you that I was pregnant with my second child. He was born on October 7th of last year. I named him Alexander Jeffrey Singer. He's such a precious baby, looks so much like his father.

Bethie is talking a mile a minute now. I know you'd laugh and say that she comes by it honestly. She is finally getting over her fears that I'm leaving too. I can now leave her as long as she is assured that I will be returning. It breaks my heart to see her missing her father so.

I miss him too. I've started sleeping on his side of the bed. It's small comfort, but it still makes me feel closer to him. I haven't heard from him in a couple months and am starting to get scared. Eddie, I don't know what I would do if I lost him. Losing you was, well it was difficult, but Jeffrey and I have been together for so long that I don't remember what life was like without him.

I know I am very proud of the work he is doing. His reports are wonderful, well written (I never knew there was a writer lurking in him!) and compelling to listen to. But it's dangerous work. Whenever I hear a recorded broadcast of his, I can hear the guns in the background and it frightens me.

I hope he's doing okay, I worry too about his nightmares. I told you about those, in the 1940 letter. He was still having them, albeit rarely, when he left and when I hear those guns in the background of his reports, I pray he's not having them nightly again. I want nothing more than to hold him in my arms and assure him that he'll be okay.

Eddie dear, can you believe it's been twenty-seven years since the day we said goodbye? Twenty-six years since I've been writing you annually. My how time does fly. I look at Bethie and can hardly believe she'll be three already in November. Seems like just yesterday she was born.

I'm trying desperately to not become my mother. I made a promise to Bethie when she was born that I would never ever leave her alone with strangers or try to live her life for her. Alexander was promised the same thing and I hope I can carry through. I think I can, thanks to Jeffrey's love and influence.

Sometimes I really wish you could have met Jeffrey. He's a wonderful man and a caring and sometimes over-attentive father. I can't fault him that, he adores Bethie and she adores him. I envy their closeness. I lost that with my father when he left. I was only five, but it still hurt deeply. I really know how Bethie feels right now. She thinks she was abandoned by the one person who never would have left her.

I've spent a lot of time with her, assuring her he hasn't left and making sure that she knows she still has her mama. She also gets letters regularly from Jeffrey. That was more than I got from papa. Much more. With all the attention I got from mama, I may as well have been an abandoned child at age five.

I'll forever be grateful to your mother, at least I did get some good attention from a mother-figure. She passed away this year, Eddie, though I'm sure you know that by now. Maybe she's there with you now, if so, tell her that I love her and miss her. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to see her before she died. I could make up many excuses as to why I never got to see her, but we both know why.

When I abandoned Maine and my mother, I left Katherine Mullholland too. I'll never forgive myself for not looking back at least part of the way. She gave me the strength to leave and leave I did. I'm so sorry.

Looking at the time, I see I must get back to my own children. Until next year Eddie . . . I love you.

*****************

Hilary put the pen aside and opened one of her newer albums. She chose two pictures, one of she, Jeff and Bethie from their last December together and another of she, Bethie and Alexander. She placed the pictures in the paper she'd just written her letter on and folded it. Hilary slid it into an envelope, wrote July 8th, 1944 on it and set it in the box with the other letters she'd written over the years.

Looking up, she saw that the rain was beginning to clear. For the first time that day, she smiled without sadness. She wrapped her belongings back into the cloak and caught a cab for home.

 

"Doesn't matter what I do now,
Doesn't matter what I say,
Somewhere in my heart I'm always,
Dancing with you in the summer rain."
"Summer Rain" Belinda Carlisle

 

The End

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Bizarra.
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