Work Text:
It was after my husband Paul and I had arrived at my parents' house
To celebrate the Christmas holiday in spite of eating a grouse
Instead of a turkey at the table
That I had noticed that someone else was able
To arrive and she was...at first...a total louse.
She happens to be my cousin Brittany
Who had decided to fly all the way from Miami
To celebrate Christmas with the rest
Of us in spite of the fact that she was thought to be a pest
By some of the other members of the family.
Anyway,everyone was happy to see each other
And helped Mom cook up some of her
Favorite holiday dishes,only to have myself get
Accidentally sprayed with water by my kid sister Bridget,
Who had allowed me to wear her
Robe while Mom washes my soaking wet
Clothes and they others help get
That little mess in the kitchen cleaned up.
But after I had walked up
The stairs and into my room,I was able to get
Out of my wet clothes and into Bridget's robe before
I had peeked into Mom and Dad's room for
A little bit and spotted Paul giving a big hug
To Brittany which made me get mad at the lug
Because I've thought that an affair was growing at the core
Of that house and under the noses of my mom and dad.
But that was before she had turned around with sad
Eyes,given me a big hug and apologized for giving me
Nothing but grief throughout the years because she began to see
What had happened to folks who turned out to be bad
When she witnessed her best friend get shot by this deranged
Nut that she had made the mistake of getting engaged
To and break it off the very next day.
She had also wished me a Merry Christmas in the nicest way
And that she would be able to get engaged
To a nice guy just like the one I'm still married to.
That was before Paul asked,"So,what do
You ladies want to do now?",which Brittany and I
Had answered,"Eat,drink and be merry!Why?"
Merry Christmas to my family and friends the whole year through.