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His body ached and everything hurt. Being morphed had prevented him from a majority of the building collapse but he'd powered down shortly after and he was feeling it. The embrace from his sister though had been steadying like nothing else could be, or so he thought. A wave of dizziness momentarily gripped Ryan and he stumbled into the arms of his fellow Rangers, and his lover, who quickly maneuvered him into his arms, the other Rangers relenting with an unspoken agreement.
"Easy Ryan, I have you." Carter murmured, large hands so infinitely gentle bringing him nearer and though Ryan knew what was next - he didn't fight it.
"I know," he just smiled and put an arm around his lover's shoulders, wincing as his ribs pulled and protested and other injuries balked, Carter watching him for a moment to make sure he was okay before lifting him into his arms with an arm slid beneath the crook of his knees.
"Easy. Just relax. We're going to get you out of here." the firefighter murmured, Ryan doing his best, reaching up to grasp his lover's jacket with a hand reflexively. Maybe he was more hurt than he thought and his body seemed all too ready to agree with that thought. Either way, safe in his lover's arms, it was over. And he was more than ready to go home.
He felt a gentle touch on his arm and opened his eyes, looking over at his sister, who gave him a smile and gently moved her hand away, "Hang in there Ryan okay?"
"I'm not that hurt," he said - half amused and half annoyed but still touched.
"Well we'll let the medical staff at the Aquabase be the judge of that." Carter said, turning with others to find their way out of the building, Ryan letting his eyes drift partially closed, lulled by the secure feeling of being right where he belonged - a feeling so wholly right that he basked in it and enjoy it while it happened.
Something had been plaguing his mind recently and though it pained him, this might be the last time he experienced this for some time... maybe even for good.
"Do you know how scared I was?" Ryan willed his eyes to open, realizing that in his light doze they'd walked a good distance, but they were a bit behind the group who was walking ahead - the Rover in site waiting for them, Kelsey giving them a wave.
At his lover's troubled murmur, Ryan frowned, forcing his mind to concentrate and understand the question. But he felt a pang of guilt and worry as it settled in, very nearly as if he'd done something wrong.
"I... I don't understand." he managed. Carter? Scared?
"After that explosion, the minute it happened, all I could think of was you. It was so hard to focus on the battle... all I could think about was all that destruction and somewhere down there was you."
"I'm..." Ryan was taken aback, flustered, and suddenly overwhelmed. He knew his lover cared for him - wasn't that love? But this was new to him. This was more than being a mate or being owned by one. This was being cared for by that one, worried about, enough to warrant concern over their safety. Ryan didn't feel himself all that worth it and at the same time inexplicably he again felt as if he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry."
"Ryan." Carter breathed softly and it was laced with gentle and fond amusement. Ryan blinked up at him, tracing the weary lines of his lover's smile with his gaze and then up into those beautiful blue depths, which were still focused on the Rescue Rover. But he slipped his eyes down to meet his and breathed out a soft sigh, "I love you and I'm going to worry about you. You didn't do anything wrong. It comes with the territory." his smile faded a bit but the love sparkling in those depths was just as strong as before even maybe twice as much, "If I didn't care - I wouldn't have been half out of my mind with fear. And if I didn't care, I wouldn't love you."
Ryan felt himself memorized and pulled in, and more than slightly awed. Learning things new had come in abundance when he'd broken free of Diabolico's realm - the most astounding thing; love. Being cared for by another, by a mate, had before been unheard of beyond the terms of 'ownership' and a coupling based on pros and cons. It was hard to believe sometimes he was actually human and that this world was also his own.
"I... I care for you too Carter." was all he could manage. If Carter were in danger he'd be worried and concerned too, he'd feel a grip of panic - he had before. Maybe times. And according to Carter this was love, this was how it should be, and deep within Ryan felt that too.
He was distracted by the others moving to lay him down in the back of the Rescue Rover, protesting as injuries added their voice to the already growing list, "I'm fine." he said through slightly gritted teeth but for a moment, his hand held onto to Carter's jacket a split second longer than he probably should have. But Carter replaced it with his own hand and looked up, nodding at Kelsey and turning his eyes back to Carter as Dana set to work.
"We know you're fine Ryan," Dana said, a tone he'd come to recognize as her 'EMT' tone, calming and placating even if you didn't want to be either. "We just want to make sure."
"His head is still bleeding."
"Here put this on it." Dana said, passing over a large gauze pad, "And press gently."
"I'm fine." Ryan tried again but neither beside him or above him was listening and so he decided to just give up, his eyes drifting closed a bit.
"Ryan." Dana spoke up, breaking from his light doze, "Keep your eyes open. You could have a concussion." she shared a glance with Carter that he didn't miss, the two exchanging a silent conversation. It ended in a split second and Carter smiled back at Ryan, carefully maneuvering so he was stretched out beside him, being equally if not more so careful of the hand that was holding the gauze pad to his lover's head injury.
"We got lucky this time." Ryan murmured, gazing up into the eyes he loved so much. Carter appeared a bit taken aback and closed his mouth around something he was going to say, pausing a moment.
"Maybe. But that isn't the point. We beat her. And we'll do it again."
"That was a crazy thing you did Ryan." Dana said, giving him a somewhat mothering look over a bandage she was making.
Ryan felt a flicker of annoyance. "Someone had to do it. And since I knew the most about the ceremony and how to stop it - I was the only choice."
He had no idea why he was being chastised, but it didn't make him happy. What had he been supposed to do? Wait idly by while Queen Bansheera was summoned and the world he knew so little of but was his own just as much as it was Carter's and Dana's succumbed to the evil he'd had first hand experience with for the past fourteen years? Not a chance.
"Ryan no one is saying you did anything wrong." Carter went on patiently, "We were just worried. We care about you Ryan."
Love again. This time he sensed it in two different ways from two different sources. Family and mate. He gave them both a look and sighed, turning his gaze up to the sky and the clouds passing above them overhead - followed by the occasional building and street lamp. It was such a hard thing to grasp and process. It was such a hard thing to take in. But he was trying.
In many ways he could hardly grasp how lucky he now was. Sometimes it all felt like some surreal dream. He had thought his life something completely different until two weeks ago and then he had discovered a world that was truly his own and not what he'd been led to believe. He'd found love and acceptance and it was such a stark divide from what had been acceptable then and now. His whole life and foundation had been based around something else entirely and he couldn't help but feel slightly alien, in a time and place not his own. But the guiding force in his life, the love from his family and his lover somehow kept him grounded.
"Carter?" he suddenly asked, struck by a sudden thought.
"Yeah sweetheart." Carter murmured in reply, a thumb on the hand holding the bandage to his head stroking gently against his hairline. For a moment he struggled with words. What he felt and how to express it, what he could say and the things he couldn't.
He swallowed down replies unspoken and blinked against the afternoon sun, "I love you."
"Oh Ryan." Carter breathed softly, and Ryan felt one of his lover's large hands squeeze his own. A second later lips brushed against his, Ryan barely having the time to return the kiss behind turning his head into it slightly and breathing out the bliss and contentment and waves of love that followed from the man who so completely and utterly owned his heart. "I love you." Carter whispered before pulling away, Ryan just like that once more entranced and hypnotized by his lover's gaze.
Was it the sky blue depths, a color not even a cloudless sky could rival in beauty, or the love that shown from them so strongly and with such conviction that made it so hard to look away? Ryan figured it was a mix of both but it also gave him another startling question. How was he ever going to be able to say good bye.