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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Completed:
2011-05-25
Words:
2,123
Chapters:
2/2
Kudos:
19
Hits:
1,265

Repetition Exercises

Summary:

A 3-part writing exercise intended to help with word choice, pacing, and structure.

Each 'chapter' will be a different set of the exercise, which may or may not use all three portions.

 will be original fiction fragments.

Chapter 1: Dynamic

Chapter Text

StC 4 Repetition
1) verbal repetition (150 words): a word is repeated at least 3 times
2) syntactic repetition (200-400 words): at least 3 syntactical (structural) or rhythmic constructions
3) structural repetition (350-1000 words): something is said or done and then later is repeated or echoed

..........


The situation was dynamic.


Fancy way of saying that things had gotten very interesting, and danger was everywhere. To the right, white water rapids, complete with sharp rocks. To the left, trees filled with enemies looking for us.

Right here? A big, messy brawl with us and them, fighting it out for survival. Fists, feet, knives... Jesse was even using rocks.

We had an intersting group dynamic - most of the time, Marc led things and made the plans. Opal was boss in a fight. If Cristi said things were going to pieces, we listened. She was never wrong about trouble.

She told us this would be trouble. Right from the start.

We should have listened.

Too bad we listened to our pockets and checkbooks instead.



.............................







"This is a mistake," darkness swallowed the words.

The girl crouched in the shadow, huddled against the concrete wall. She didn't know exactly what was out there, only that whatever it was, it was big, and dangerous, and hungry. It had too many teeth, and it wanted to use them.

And her mom had kicked her out of the house tonight.

Something rasped against the asphalt.

She shivered, the night suddenly feeling much colder than moments before. That sound... not like a can or crumpled paper sliding over the road, it was something else. Something scarier.

Taking deep breaths in hopes of calming herself, she nearly choked on the mingled stench. She could smell car exhaust and gas, rotting food and wet newspapers, stale grease from a little diner, sewer gas and rotten eggs.

Thoughts swirled in her mid as she tried not to speak, not to whimper, not even breathing felt safe. She should have gone to Billy's, or Latifa's place. She should have gone to hang out at the mall, even if it was boring and lame. Maybe she could have gone to hang out at the fire station.

Scrrrrrr...

A tear slid down her cheek, and she bit at her lip. It was out there. It was out there, and it was hungry.

The air felt thick and clammy, sticking to her skin. She could feel her hair sticking to her, and that nasty rotten egg smell was getting stronger.

Sccrrrr...

The sound was louder this time, closer. Something scraping over the asphalt.

She looked up, certain that if it was only a cat or even just a dog or some big chunk of trash that she'd just run, run for anywhere that there were people and forget worrying about looking stupid or getting teased for freaking out about weird noises in the dark.

There were two glowing eyes, each as big as her fist. They burned like taillights, and there was a huge, twisting shape in the darkness.

Choking on the sulfur, she tried to step back, away from the horrible thing. She wanted to scream, wanted to insist that this couldn't be happening.

She wanted to wake up and find it was all a horrible dream. Not real. This couldn't be real.

Sccrrr....

There were tentacles moving in the darkness. They scraped over the asphalt, making that awful noise that sent shivers up her bones.

There were burning eyes.

Worst of all were the teeth. Jagged triangles like a shark, like a giant shark grinning at her, moving closer and gaping apart.

She tried to scream, spinning to run. Tentacles couldn't run, could they?

Unfortunately, they could.

Pain warred with fear as her leg was grabbed, the skin ripped away as the tentacle slid around her ankle and upwards. Her hands slammed into the asphalt, and she tried to pull herself away from the thing, away from the sulfur-reek.

end fragment.