Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Songs of My Memories
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
Stats:
Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
1,650
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
18
Hits:
1,857

In my life I love you more.

Summary:

There are places he'll remember all his life, though some have changed. AU. Papa!Gibbs/Sons!Tony & Tim.

Work Text:

"In My Life" by Herky Illiniwek.

*Song:  "In my life" originally written by Paul McCartney & John Lennon, and originally sung by the Beatles.

(Version used in story sung by the legendary 'man in black'...the one & only... Johnny Cash).

 

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain

He sat there in the silence of the early morning and tried to remember how he lived. Flipping through the photo albums, he saw moments that never would have happened without his presence.  When he came to the last album, a tear began to form... it was his last chance to see them for what they were… not just the distance of his life... but as people he loved always…  

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends

Pictures of his children … the days they were born… memories he would never lose.

I still can recall
Some are dead…

His daughter's birth was fast… 12 hours… they were old pros by then… and, the moment she came out, it felt as if the breath was knocked out of his body.  She was amazing at 6lbs., 10oz.… with her light-colored curls and porcelain white skin… just like her mom. One of his favorite memories was her opening her eyes from him… and only him… as he held her close.  It was something that he'd never forget...  she would be his little princess… his angel-faced ballerina girl… she would forever be his Kelly and no one else's…

And some are living…

Their second child came into the world after 17 hours, thanks to a much-needed c-section… when the doctor took him from Shannon's body and he let out his first big cry, a tear fell down his cheek… followed by another, and then, another… this was his son… his Timothy… all 9lbs., 5 oz. of him… a vision of the love between a mother and father… and, he would   be loved forever.  He would be the smart one… the one who make a difference in the world with his genius… no one could ever have a son as educated as Tim…

It took 23 hours for her first labor… and then, as if it were magic, this little 7lb., 8oz. screaming dark-haired cherub arrived… their first child… their little Anthony… his Tony. The photos didn't do him justice.  Lying there in his wife's arms that morning of his birth, Tony was a wonder… a gift from God… a piece of both of their hearts… and, nothing would change that… ever.  He had envisioned his son growing up and becoming a Marine just like him… he could never have a better, more responsible son than Tony…

In my life I've loved them all…

They were his life… nothing was going to take them away from him… nothing…

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you

She was his dream… She was utter perfection… she was his Shannon, and nothing compared to her.  Time could stop… the world could end… and, he would still be in love with her.  Her brilliant blue eyes… her shiny red curls… her infectious smile… her girlish laugh… these were all things that made his heart flutter, when he thought of her.  The way she light up a room… the way she said his name… the way she cared for all three of their children… he was hers, and she was his.  She was the cheerleader that Tony needed, when he played sports… she was the tutor that Tim needed, when he couldn't get a math problem exactly right… and, she was the dance partner that Kelly needed, when she wanted to perform a show for her brothers and her dear ol' dad… Shannon was flawless… rules and all…

And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new…

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before…

That morning however, it was as if things had changed.  
Time had changed… 
life has changed… 
It had changed all of them…

I know I'll often stop and think about them

Yes, he had a son that had graduated college (Ohio State), and had become a Marine officer, who successfully went & came back from Desert Storm with him.  Soon after that, his son Tony… his brave son Tony… no longer wanted to be in the Gibbs family military legacy… always in his shadow... so he left it all behind him.  He changed his last name to his maternal grandmother's maiden name… DiNozzo… and had become a skilled police officer in many places, before coming to his senses and maturing.  Tony knew he was a NCIS agent, and again, Tony wanted to be just like him… so he became an NCIS agent too.  Then, his son… his brave son… fell in love & got married to a beautiful woman… Ziva (a fellow agent)… and, they were blessed upon with their own sons, Caleb & Ezra… who would have the family last name of Gibbs…

Yes, he had a son that was quite smart and graduated from two prestigious schools (M.I.T. & Johns Hopkins), and had become a top analyst at the C.I.A., but it wasn't what his son wanted… Tim was so far away anymore from the life he wanted for himself… so his son… his smart son… changed his name to his paternal grandmother's maiden name… McGee… and found his way to NCIS… much like his brother before him.  After that, Tim became one of his brother's partners… constantly at each other's throats… like all brothers should be.  Then, his son…his smart son… also fell in love & got married to a special girl, a girl who made his wildest dreams come true… Abby (the forensic scientist and resident Goth)… and, they would be blessed with two daughters, Riley & Gabriela… who would also have the family last name of Gibbs…

In my life I love you more…

But ‘they' weren't there anymore… they were gone from his life… he had lost his last two pieces of his puzzle… and, he was alone…eternally alone.  A car accident… a shooting… his girls were taken away from him, and they would never return… only in memories… that's where they would stay everlastingly…

Though I know I'll never lose affection

Closing the photo album, he couldn't stop what would come next.  He sat and watched the teardrops bounced off the book's brown leather covering as he held it close to his chest… soon realizing that he was now weak… the once strong Marine could no longer scale the walls of his life anymore, because they had crumbled before he could get to them… he silently hope he too could die at that very moment… just to be with his girls again…

For people and things that went before

He didn't at first hear the voices inside of his home.  Their home... it would always be ‘their' home… always ‘their' home…   He didn't hear the front door open… he didn't hear his name being called… he didn't hear the footsteps coming up the stairs… he didn't see the tears that fell down the faces of his visitors as they watched his own tears fall… life didn't seem real at that point for him…

I know I'll often stop and think about them

He felt his touch first… the touch of his son… his smart son… as he laid down next to him on the bed, resting his side of his head on his chest, allowing his own tears to fall as he embraced him.  He looked over at him, and only saw a 6-year-old little boy with long blonde hair, scared from a nightmare… snuggling close to him for safety… 

Then, he felt the second touch… the touch of his son… his brave son… as he laid down next to him, resting his head on his strong shoulder, putting his arms around him, letting go of his pain as well.  He looked over at him as well, and only saw a teenage boy who had always jumped into bed with him to tell him about his latest sports success or about the synopsis of the latest movie he saw at the local cinema… with the most excited look on his face…
But now, one by one… they lay there, crying themselves softly to sleep… remembered what they had lost together:  their mother and their sister.  None wanted to leave… none of them could handle the pain of separation anymore…
In my life I love you more
When he opened his eyes that next morning, he saw the sunlight shining through the window blinds… it felt like it was the first time he had seen it… like he had never lived before this moment. As he turned to move, he noticed that he wasn't alone.  Looking down, he saw what had to be the most amazing thing… his two sons… his smart son & his brave son… and, they were now grown men... he had never realized it before.  They had their own lives now… and, he had been there to see it all happened.

Softly & slowly, he kissed the tops of both of their heads like he had done every night, when they were kids… then, he whispered aloud to whoever would hear him, "Thank you, Shannon…thank you Kelly… thank you always…"
And with that, he fell back to sleep… but not before he took a deep breath… something he hadn't done for many years… something he would do now for the rest of his life…
In my life I love you more…

- Fin -

Series this work belongs to: