Work Text:
Eeny Meeny
Summary: How do hope that one friend wins if it means the other loses? Spoilers for ATS S5. This drabble was written for Sarah Leathers.
EENY MEENY?
She felt guilty.
Angel had been a friend for so long, her entire life in some ways; he gave her a whole new life when he saved her from Pylea.
She'd only known Spike for a short time but despite the flirting and manipulation she could see that he was true?he would always play straight when it counted.
Angel?not so much. Angel suffered?but he locked down, repelled the pain along with everything else while Spike soaked up the pain and wore it like a coat.
Angel wanted the Shanshu but Spike needed it.
She was glad the cup was fake.
*****
Leather Phobia
Spike literally leaves his shape on someone. This one is
dedicated to Taramisu.
LEATHER PHOBIA
I wasn't always afraid of leather. My fear started one horrible night.
My girl and that cool-looking blond vampire came into my bedroom. She threw the leather coat over me.
I thought they were kissing but then the sounds of fighting began and unexpectedly I was attacked!
A great weight squashed me, bumping and thumping me over and over! My stuffing was being rearranged! I was frantic about my girl when she screamed wildly!
I swooned.
When I woke they were gone and I hyperventilated until she finally came back. She seemed just fine!
I was so confused. And lumpy.
*****
Pear-Shaped
Summary: Three Linked Shape of Spike Drabbles showing Spike can follow a plan - if he wants to. Kudos to Andrea P
who got to the Anointed one before I did.
THE ANNOYING ONE
This Master thing isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
I believed this Spike-guy would waltz in, save me from admitting that I didn't have a clue how to plan an attack, kill the slayer and then I would have him killed.
Instead, he blew it!
My flunkies reported that he beat the slayer - had her down,
unconscious, totally helpless. Then he let a weak, human woman chase him off with a fire-axe? Right! He could have taken her without mussing a hair-but he didn't!
Well, at least I don't have any reason to be afraid of him.
THE SMURF
I should have trusted the blonde vampire.
I had judged him flawed, a fool with human weakness. Yet he
succeeded in locating all my segments, bringing them together and restoring me despite the fact that the Slayer had crippled him, left him dependent on an insane vampiress. He instigated the research, diagrammed the rescue and oversaw the delivery.
I believed Angelus to be the wise one but he and the capricious Drusilla have led me here to be disintegrated again. I thought I was almost invulnerable. Spike would have questioned that. I should have let him plan my first attack.
THE TIN SOLDIER
He failed me. This means I failed myself.
I should not have entrusted my plans to such a flawed weapon. His impatience was known to me but I discounted it.
He had succeeded in restoring his paramour back to health, had found the elusive Gem of Amara, and was the only hostile to ever escape the initiative. He had shown he could control his impulsiveness if he was dedicated to his cause.
I can only conclude that he was not truly committed to killing the Slayer.
I should have known there was a reason he had not killed her yet.
*****
Glorious Days
Summary: Six linked drabbles that take place during Spiral/Weight of the World.
GLORY
`Why are these people so selfish?
Even the vampire, although no surprise there ? vamps not noted for the selfless behavior thing are they?
Gotta admit he was a toughie. I'm flabbergasted he took such a licking and still kept kicking.
Musta been afraid I was going to kill him once he spilled his beans ? like I would do that. I could have used him to help me get my key. Or maybe he really didn't know anything ? that's probably it.
The vampire obviously wouldn't have gone the slice and dice routine, like a Ginsu blade info-mercial, if he knew anything.'
XANDER
`I don't know just what he's up to but I'm not taking my eyes off of him for a second.
He's probably working for Glory ? well, maybe not Glory. I don't think he'd work with someone that thrashed him so bad?he's too bull-headed for that. But, push-come-to-shove I think he'll sell us out.
Unless?maybe he's convinced himself that Buffy will have him. Like she ever would?but maybe he's that stupid. Not stupid enough to think he can get in her pants if he's undead-dead, though.
He'll give us up. I'm not taking my eyes off him ? not for a second.'
GILES
`We're all going to die and it will be that blasted vampire's fault!
He's going to tip this torpid tank and flip us all like flapjacks.
It's going to be a most undignified way for a Watcher to die and he'll no doubt derive a great deal of amusement from it.
Obviously, he has managed to sway Buffy into believing he is reliable but I don't trust him for a moment. I hope she doesn't place a great deal of trust in him because he's certain to let her down.
No doubt, he'll run off at the most inconvenient moment.'
TARA AND WILLOW
`Mr. Sunshine! Need Mr. Sunshine.
Mr. Burned-hand man screeches, hurts my tummy, all roily-toily.
Now his voice is nice?hee hee. Nice like mice!
Willow! Hide me before mouse eats the moon!`
`Spike can be so sweet some times. I almost forget he's a vampire..well, almost.
Hard to forget bottle-in-face, and he's all Mr. Sensitive ? I
understand your pain one minute and Mr. Vicious ? I'm going to rip your throat out and use the lining for toilet tissue in the second.
Still, I'm glad he's here. I don't trust his judgement but I don't
doubt his loyalty for a second.'
DAWN
I'm so glad Spike's here. It's almost like having someone my own age.
Someone that gets me ? Dawn me and Key me. I think Spike might be the only one who gets both.
Tara?Tara kinda did before - when she was sane. Only it wasn't so much that she got me as she didn't care. She just loved me and excepted me, Key-warts and all. That was nice.
But Spike-he understands. I know he's a vamp and I probably shouldn't trust him but I do. Maybe he's only here for Buffy but he sees me and really.. that's pretty cool.
BUFFY
I don't know how I'm going to do this. They're all depending on me and?Glory's a God! How am I supposed to fight a God!
They think I'm going to save the world and I won't even be able to save them. I can't believe we've lasted this long. If only we can outrun?
If they knew?Dawn, Willow?they'd all hate me.
At least I don't have to worry about Spike. He'll do what needs to be done and he won't be leaning on me, expecting me to know? what to do?how to do?
oh God! What AM I going to do?
*****
The Heart of the Matter
Summary: Spoilers for The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco. Tezcatcatl looked into the hearts of heroes.
THE HEART OF THE MATTER
I was aware of the vampire but he did not meet my requirements. I need flesh hearts to eat while I search for my talisman of power and he was obviously trapped in a phantasmic form.
It had appeared that the larger vampire would be suitable at first but when I looked into his heart, it was obvious that it was divided.
It was only his soul that kept him on the path of the champion. In his heart of hearts he was evil.
This one had a poet's heart as do all champions. I would have taken his heart.
*****
The Scream
Summary: Tabula Rasa. Fear smells good.
THE SCREAM
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
There really isn't anything as satisfactory as the smell of fear.
That pungent aroma that gets the saliva flowing, sharpens the hunger in your belly.
Add the music of eight people singing in a hallelujah chorus of
terror and you've got something close to the perfect moment. The anticipation is almost better than the sweet taste of blood ? almost.
Don't know what game Spike is playing, don't really care. I know what game the boss is playing but it isn't the same as mine. He just wants Spike ? I just want the blood.
We'll both get what we want.
*****
Dead Bird
Summary: Drusilla knows more than she lets on. Dialogue taken directly from "Lie To Me" by Joss Whedon.
DEAD BIRD
The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."
Drusilla cringes. Her Spike is angry, speaking angry words. Can't have that. Spike is her devoted suitor, her knight, her slave. Bad boy! Doesn't know his place?he'll snap her heart like a cracker.
She whines, dropping the full weight of her sad, sad, devastated eyes directly onto his heart strings.
"Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man?"
That's better. Can't have Daddy wriggling and giggling too far from under the thumb. She smiles.
*****
The Kindness of Enemies
Summary: Sometimes the only one who really understands you is your worst enemy.
THE KINDNESS OF ENEMIES
It felt so damn good slamming that stake home, forcing it into that unbeating heart.
Why did Buffy allow this to hostile to live, to stick around and even enter her home?
I did NOT get it.
Suddenly my whole ego just collapsed. Who knows why Buffy did any of the things she did? Why I did any of the things I did?and then, damn if that crazy vampire didn't commiserate with me?and so help me, I connected, really connected with him.
Maybe I've got a glimmer of understanding now. I think I grasp why he's still among the unliving in Sunnydale.
*****
Julius Caesar Came to Sunnydale
Summary: I know ? Pangs wasn't the most popular of episodes but for some reason I've always liked it. The following does not reflect any of my own views ? I'm just trying to capture what the Scoobies might have been thinking.
GILES
This is what my world has come to ? my children listen to a vicious creature of the night while ignoring the same thing from me. I'm nothing to them. I've guided them for years, given them sound and sage advice and they ignore me, yet give weight to his arguments. I suppose it is only to be expected ? teenagers growing up and away from their authority figures?and here comes some one new, charismatic, powerful-making his points colorfully yet succinctly.
Still?one would think our experiences together would get me a bit more respect?oh, bloody hell, where did I put the bottle.
WILLOW
Who does he think he is? Oh yeah, Mr. Slithery-King-Of-The-Night killer man ? er - vamp. Just because he was probably there doesn't mean he understands the situation better than we do. In fact, less likely, because all poisoned with the attitudes of the time and?hey, vamp?so not so big with the milk of human kindness! Sure, he might understand the logistics but he can't feel the injustice-no way can
he feel how wrong we were to treat the Chumash the way we did and where does he get off with the Julius Caesar routine-like Julius was a humanitarian or something.
ANYA
Spike makes some very valid points. Of course, none of the people here are really capable of understanding the validity because they're infants. Except maybe Giles. But really they're all infants. Squalling because somebody's toesies got stomped. I mean, in the history of the world, wiping out the Chumash is a piddle-stop. In the history of me, it's a piddle-stop. I can see where the chief-spirit is coming from, of course. I'm not saying there isn't a good reason for vengeance here, but I can't see why the scoobies are getting so wound up. I am worried about Xander, though.
XANDER
Man! I can't believe I'm agreeing with Spike. I mean, not
really `cause wiping out of tribes?not so much of the good. But it's been done?for what, hundreds of years? How can we possibly make good on it now? I wasn't there, it wasn't me that did the scalping and measling and?syphilising. Why should I suffer for what my ancestors did? Not really even my ancestors-my family came here after all that - I think. So, yeah, sorry guys but I don't deserve smallpox and I
don't deserve syphilis. Maybe, just maybe, I deserve measles alright, but I've already had `em.
BUFFY
Doesn't he ever shut up? All I want is a nice family-style
Thanksgiving and it's bad enough this Chumash spirit guide is trying to ruin everything?and of course I'm all torn up?about his tragedy thing. But now Spike is here and `yap-yap'. Like he has something to say. Maybe I should gag him because I am GOING to have a nice, peaceful dinner ? if I have to gag everyone! Should I put Spike at the table? and what's he going on about anyway? What does Julius Caesar have to do with the Chumash Indians ? was Julius Caesar ever
in America?
*****
Aaaah!
Summary: Response to Kantayra's Twenty Women; One Shower - You Do The Math Challenge #4. I took her possible suggestions literally and wrote a drabble for each. Hope that's allowable. Please, enjoy even if it isn't.
ANDREW WALKS IN ON XANDER
"Aaaaah!"
The tenor and vibrancy of their voices is surprisingly similar given their respective height and weight differences. You would expect Andrew to reach that note, but Xander?
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking, you little peeping-Andrew?"
"Oh, very original-like no one has ever come up with that line
before."
"And still he is here while I'm showering ? this picture is wrong, how?"
"If you want details.."
"NO!"
"The list says it's my turn?"
"The list doesn't SAY anything ? and possession is nine-tenths and I am, obviously, in possession ? so you are still here?why? No don't answer that ? Get out!"
ONE OF THE SITS WALKS IN ON ANDREW
"Aaaaah!"
What a disappointment. She'd hoped to get Spike or Xander ? even Giles.
"Isn't ANYbody following the list? What's the use of having a list if nobody follows it?"
"What a whiner. I didn't mean to walk in on you. Nobody's following your list because it doesn't take into account what anyone is doing at any given time!"
"Well, I tried but it's hard with so many people ?and?and no one would cooperate. I had to guess at what was being scheduled."
"Very little is being scheduled, Andrew?Turok'han attacks at 0900 hundred?Buffy gives EvilIsBadWeWillOvercome speech #220 at 11:00?"
"Meany!"
"Nerd!"
SPIKE WALKS IN ON ONE OF THE SITS
"Aaaaah!"
"OhmiGodOhmiGodOhmiGodOhmiGod!"
"Calm down! I can't see a thing through the curtain." Spike's soul tells him he shouldn't be enjoying this but he is.anyway.
"You're going to eat me!"
Fear still smells good and he finds it difficult to stop
chuckling, "I'm?not?going to eat you. See, I'm leaving."
A hand pulls the curtain back marginally and a dubious eye peeks out. "You're laughing at me!"
"Well, yeah, kinda."
"Stop it, it's not nice!"
"Well, no ? would you rather I eat you?"
"Aaaaah!"
"Stop that! Buffy'll think I'm?well, you'll get me staked?eh? Bloody hell! Just settle down!"
"Go away!"
"I'm gone!"
ANYA WALKS IN ON SPIKE
"Aaaaah!"
"You planning on standing there gawking all day?"
"Well, it's nothing I haven't seen before."
"But you're not meant to see it again. So how's about you turn around and not see it anymore."
"Well, if you're worried about that you should've pulled the curtain closed?look you've got water all over the floor."
"'s predator thing. Don't like not seeing' who's creeping up on me. And water wipes up right nice."
"Yes, but you'll leave it for someone else to wipe up!"
"I could use you to wipe up?"
"Oh don't get your washrag in a twist ?I'm leaving."
WILLOW WALKS IN ON ANYA
"Aaaaah!"
"Oh Hello, Willow. Why are you screaming?"
"You're in the shower! Naked! Naked in the shower!"
"Well, yes, I think that's usual when one is in the shower. Do you wear clothes in the shower? I wouldn't think you would get very clean that way. Although I've never known you to smell bad?except, well, when we've been fighting monsters. Sometimes, you smell bad then, especially if there's slime involved."
"Why didn't you pull the shower curtain?"
"It's a predator thing I learned from Spike ? being able to see who's sneaking up on you."
"I'm not sneaking up on you!"
KENNEDY WALKS IN ON WILLOW
"Aaaaah!"
"Mmmmm!" Kennedy's smirk could rival Spike's for lechery. "Shower curtain open ? you expecting someone? Me, maybe?" Kennedy's voice changes ? less lechery, more possession.. "Better be me!"
"Uhm, no, I mean, it's a predator thing?seeing who's sneaking up on you? gotta be careful these days."
"Isn't that a little paranoid ? if you're that frightened maybe you
wanna partner who can protect you?" Willow smiles as Kennedy waggles her eyebrows.
"Well, it might be a bit cramped, so? definitely."
"Ack! Water all over the floor. How about we move this somewhere else!"
"Yeah! Now we're all clean, let's get all dirty!"
GILES WALKS IN ON ANYONE FEMALE
"Aaaaah!"
"Dear God!"
Giles whips off his glasses, placing his hand over his eyes, hastily turning around. "I'm so sorry? water under the door?was unlocked? and why don't you have the shower curtain pulled? This room is swamped!"
"That way when I got here. Figured I might as well leave the curtain ? keep an eye out for who's around. You never know who might try to sneak a peek!"
"Now, Faith that's not fair!"
"It's cool, watcher-man. I got nothing to hide!"
"That's not the point... Oh what's the use?"
Giles retreats, muttering about nightmares and houses full of females.
*****
HELPFUL
Summary: BTVS S7. Cassie wishes she had more time.
Wow! He's like poetry. color and pain and light all swirling...
I see his death and yet. life beyond that.not like incarnation or life after death.he isn't exactly living now, is he? Confusing but it's all good. I can tell that much.
He's going to get what he wants before he dies but it isn't going to be what he needs.
I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to die - any minute now. Time is growing short. I should tell him what I can. that he will get what he wants.
I wish I had time to know him better.
******
Smellementary
Summary: BTVS S7. Spike might have stunk but the Scoobies didn't come off smelling like a rose, either.
XANDER
Sheesh! I feel sorry for the guy.
Except I don't. Got exactly what he deserves except not enough. Insanity is not nearly enough.
But what's with the smell.
Funny, I've smelled other vamps, same kind of smell but I never thought of it in connection with Spike. I mean we've been in some pretty close quarters, heavy fighting, not much in the way of cleanup available and he just always smelled like Spike.
Anya tells me it's a sexy smell. just what I wanted to hear. But he never smelled like a vamp, you know what I mean? Just Spike.
DAWN
Whooo! Like perfume for a skunk!
And I'm glad. It makes it easier to remember. I don't know if it's the insanity or what but Spike. my Spike. never smelled like that.
I won't forgive him for what he did. He's just a skanky old vampire and he stinks. The smell helps me remember what he did.
My Spike wouldn't have done something like that... maybe he was never the Spike I thought he was. I thought he was my friend, that he loved us but he was just a rotten, vicious monster all along.
Now, he smells like it.
BUFFY
God! In all the time I've known Spike, all the intimate situations we've been in, the fights, the fucking. he's never once come close to smelling like this.
He always had this.male scent. Not musky. like male-scented ice cream, kinda. Chunky-monkey ice cream with male overtones! Chunky-monkey, chocolate Spike! I'd even heard Willow and Tara talking about it how attractive it was. I found it a turn on that's for sure.
Angel didn't smell like other vampires but he didn't have the Spike aroma, either. Neither does Spike anymore.
God! I hope it's not gone forever. That would be tragic!
*****
Helpful Too
Summary: BTVS S7 `Help'. A scene we didn't see. I think Cassie and Spike could have helped each other.
HELPFUL TOO
I've been going down to the school basement a lot. All those lunches and evenings when I want to get away from my parents and friends. I know they're only worried but they don't understand.
I'm going to die, I know it. It's not really bad... just a little sad.
The basement would be a scary place I suppose, if you didn't know when you were going to die. I know he's frightened sometimes but I can't even imagine the monsters he must see. He's sad too. Sometimes we just sit and be sad with each other. It's strangely helpful.