SquidgeWorld Archive

Deep Blue Sea
by nancy

It was definitely cold out. AJ shivered as he zipped up his jacket on the way to the car and got inside as quickly as possible. Despite what most people thought, even San Diego got cold in December, especially late in the month. He turned the heat up as quickly as he could and then rubbed his hands together for warmth. He couldn't find his gloves earlier, which meant Rick had either moved or used them. Probably moved and used them.

Shaking his head in fond exasperation at the thought, AJ backed out of their Mom's driveway and headed home. Rick would be done outfitting the boat for their trip for New Year's by then, assuming he hadn't gotten distracted. It hadn't been a big surprise that Mom had had plans with a group of friends for the holiday. They always spent Christmas together, but New Year's was up for grabs if they didn't book her early enough.

Not that that was a bad thing this year. It had been a crazy one, that was for sure, and filled with too many hospital visits and danger. Rick had come close to dying a few times and the thought of life without his brother was enough to make AJ's chest tighten with fear and anticipated loss. AJ shook off the shadow that he just couldn't disperse entirely as best he could. Now was a time for looking ahead, not behind at near-misses.

It didn't take long to get to the house that Rick no longer pretended not to live at. AJ had stopped asking when the boat would go away a couple of years ago and given in to the inevitable insanity of a life spent loving his only brother. They'd messed around together as kids, but then Rick had taken off for Vietnam and AJ had gone to college and then it had just been life; one night stands, girlfriends, even the occasional fiancé, at least on AJ's part.

But then that twist of fate that had brought them together as real lovers. AJ had been panicked over Rick nearly dying and Rick had tried to comfort him and the charged atmosphere had exploded. Instead of their usual fight or a night spent drinking as a result of their dangerous occupation, AJ had pinned his brother to the floor and from that night on, they'd been lovers.

Lovers, AJ mused, half-smiling. Such a strange word to use with Rick.

And yet it was true. They'd been two halves of a whole all their lives. AJ knew how much Rick had agonized over the situation the morning after and even now, he sometimes caught a pained expression on his older brother's face. He knew that Rick thought he'd somehow corrupted AJ when they were kids, but AJ remembered all of it with exceptional clarity and Rick had in no way taken advantage of him.

Then, as now, Rick could deny AJ nothing that he truly wanted. And despite his clean-cut, all-American good looks, AJ was far too rational to care about taboo words like incest. Neither of them could get pregnant and they were consenting adults. And if Heaven and Hell did exist, well, it wasn't as if his relationship with Rick was the only thing that could get him locked outside the Pearly Gates.

AJ pulled into the driveway and parked before making a dash for the boat. The lights were on there but not the house so he knew Rick had packed it all up. He hopped onto the deck and then rushed into the bridge, closing the door behind him, shivering.

"Did you ask the Captain's permission to board, Mister?" Rick called out smartly from below decks.

AJ snorted as he pulled off his jacket and called back, "You could always go on this trip by yourself."

Rick walked up onto the bridge and grinned at him. "Nah. Where's the fun in that? I stowed your gear."

AJ nodded and said, "I figured you did, since all the lights were out in the house. I'm quick that way."

Smirking, Rick added, "And in others," as he gently pushed AJ towards the steps leading down.

AJ technically knew how to work the boat, but she was Rick's baby and he knew better than to get between them. Chuckling to himself, AJ went below and groaned in relief at the warmer temperature. He yawned and went straight to the tiny sleeping den. He'd personally redecorated this area, putting his own stamp on it with new bedding not used by countless women and filling a couple of drawers with his clothes for spur of the moment trips.

He pulled out one of his thicker sweaters, a cardigan their mother had given him for winter boat trips, and tugged it on over his other sweater. AJ picked up his jacket on the way back up. He found Rick at the wheel, leaning on it casually as his sharp eyes watched the passageway out of the canal to the ocean. With the sun mostly already set, AJ didn't intrude, not wanting to distract his brother when the boat or other peoples property could be damaged.

They were on the open water in twenty minutes and AJ relaxed then, leaning against Rick and wrapping his arms around his brother's waist. He murmured against his ear, "Hey."

Rick chuckled, a deep, warm sound, and echoed, "Hey. Need somethin' AJ?"

AJ kissed the back of his head and said, "Nope. Just hanging around."

Snorting, Rick said, "That was bad, especially coming from you."

"You don't have a monopoly on bad puns, Rick," AJ pointed out.

Rick chuckled again and then asked, "You want to watch the stars?"

AJ held up his jacket and stood up straight again as he said, "Got you a present for tonight. Did you find it?"

Rick grinned. "I'd be a piss poor PI if I didn't. You left it on the table with a big bow and my name on the card. Christmas was last week, though."

"Where is it?" AJ asked.

"On the table."

AJ went back below and found it waiting on the tiny table. He got out a couple of glasses and called, "Oh where'd you put my gloves?"

"I didn't touch `em!"

AJ waited.

"Ahh, check by the magazines."

Rolling his eyes, AJ shifted over to where a stack of magazines kept the wall up on the floor. Sure enough, his good leather gloves were wedged between them and the wall. AJ made a rude noise and put them in his coat pocket for later.

AJ brought the box, the glasses, and the jacket back upstairs and said, "How long `til we get where we're going?"

Rick gave him a grin and countered, "Gee. I wonder what's in the box since you're carrying glasses now."

"ETA, Rick?"

"Half-hour or so. We're not goin' too far."

AJ thought about it and then said, "I'm going to put these out and I'll be right back. Too cold to be out there that long."

"Wimp."

AJ ignored him and brought everything above deck, setting it all in a recessed hidey-hole so they wouldn't fall over and break. He'd spent damn good money and didn't want to waste it. He was shivering again by the time he hurried back inside.

Rick grinned again and reiterated, "Wimp."

AJ put his hands on Rick's neck, who yelped at the cold touch and twisted out of reach, wagging a finger at him in warning. His point made, AJ smirked at him and returned to the table where he made use of the magazines to pass the time. It was doubtful Rick had remembered to grab the book he'd been reading, since there likely wouldn't be much time spent idle.

Well, not idle enough for reading, he silently amended, grinning a bit.

"That's a good look for you. Devious. A little slutty, even."

AJ grinned up at his brother and asked, "We're there?"

"Close enough," Rick confirmed. "Just us and the water for miles in all directions."

It would have been a frightening thought if he didn't trust Rick explicitly. As it was, he just shrugged into his jacket and pulled on his gloves before following his brother onto the deck. It was only just five thirty, though in the absolute darkness, with only the stars and moon above for light, it felt much, much later.

"Did you eat?" Rick asked unexpectedly. "I packed the larder."

AJ put his arms around Rick's neck and shuffled in as close as he could get, leaning on the taller man as he said, "When have either of us left Mom's without getting fed?"

Rick grinned. "Good point."

And then he bent in and kissed AJ, slow and lingering. AJ opened to it happily, the familiar play of lips heating him all the way through; he didn't even mind Rick's mustache anymore. Contentment and love rushed through him, along with the desire. He hated not being able to do this whenever they wanted, but it was out of the question. People already looked crosswise at their living arrangements. If they hadn't been brothers… well, even in San Diego gay men weren't exactly flourishing. It wasn't San Francisco, after all.

Pushing all of that out of his mind, AJ broke the kiss slowly and then said, "Open your present."

Rick smiled against his lips, kissing him again. When he pulled back, he said, "Already did. Damn fine whiskey, AJ. Can't believe you spent that much money on booze."

AJ made another face at him and said snippily, "That is not booze. That is one of the finest single malt scotches in the world."

"Like I said," Rick agreed with a wink. "Sit. I'll pour."

Chuckling, AJ sat and waited as Rick poured a healthy couple of fingers of the amber liquid in each glass. AJ took them both when his brother held them out and then shifted forward, as directed. Rick climbed behind him on the bench seat and then tugged AJ against his chest before taking a glass.

AJ leaned back, relishing the contact, and sighed in contentment as he rested his head on Rick's shoulder and looked up at the sky. It was incredible. A sight to humble any man, all the mysteries of the universe above them, twinkling with cold light.

"Damn. AJ, man, you outdid yourself."

AJ smiled at the quiet, appreciative statement and then straightened a bit and took a sip of his own glass. He savored it and then half turned so that he was able to put his legs over Rick's. It was cold, after all, and sharing body heat would help. So would finishing his scotch. To which end he drank some more, letting the alcohol-induced warmth slide through his body.

Rick rested an arm over AJ's shoulder and said softly, "Love you, AJ," kissing him on the temple.

AJ looked up at his brother who was mostly in shadow, backlit from the bridge lights. He was rough around the edges and likely always would be. The lines on his face came from age and experience in equal measure now and his hair was starting to thin. But his blue eyes were still sharp, he was strong and healthy, and AJ would take that over an acceptable woman his own age every single time and run with it.

Letting out a sigh, he rested his head on his brother's shoulder again and echoed, "Love you, too, Rick."

It was a vow between them, those words so seldom said and never in front of others. A vow witnessed by the deep blue sea that never gave up their secrets.

end