Work Text:
Tony realizes somewhere between the mid-Atlantic flight and the shareholders meeting that he isn't used to Jarvis being human. Well, somewhat human. He has a body, a face, arms and legs.
He has blond hair, ("Blond? Are you sure?" "What's wrong with blond?" "Nothing, nothing. I just never pictured you as a blond." "Blonds have more fun, sir." ), blue eyes, ("Did you just - did it just wink at me, Jarvis?" "An unfortunate malfunction, sir."), and a crooked smile, ("Why is it, you, I mean you; why are you doing that?" "Doing what?" "Smiling, I think. Are you smiling? I can't tell; you look like you're about to terrorize and eat little children." "..." "There, that one, that's better. Less shark teeth. Now, let's get to work." "Very good, sir.").
He's everything that Tony and Jarvis planned. From the top of his head to the bottom of his toes. He's strong, efficient, and there. Right there. Right beside Happy, right beside Pepper, right beside him, opening doors, ordering food, keeping on schedule, and protecting him. Just like a real butler should - would - could, only better, because Jarvis is more than just a mere butler, more than just a mere human.
("There's a hole in wall. Why is there a hole in the wall?" "I believe I was too forceful in my experimentation, sir; a miscalculation that will not happen again." "You put your fist through the wall?" "Yes, sir.""What did the wall ever do to you, Jarvis?" "Nothing, sir; coffee?")
It's just that Jarvis understands things about him that no one else does, like his need to work.
("...start a new project. Index it as Jericho, Mach 1." "Very good, sir; shall I store this on the Stark Industries Central Database?" "Sure, go ahead. Password protect and encrypt." "Always, sir.")
("...been days, Mr. Stark." "Pepper, if I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it." "Has he been eating, Jarvis?" "Only when forced." "That goes for you too, Jarvis." "Of course, sir.")
("...ready when you are, sir." "I was born ready." "I never doubted it.")
Or his need to play.
("...run those calculations while I'm gone, will you?" "Of course, sir. They should be done in an estimated two point four hours." "Will you miss me while I'm gone?" "Terribly, sir.")
("... taken the liberty of ordering the necessary parts to rebuild the Roadster's engine, sir." "You read my mind." "I do try.")
("Checkmate." "That's impossible!" "That's the third time you've said that, sir. Perhaps you'd like to play another game, one more suited to your skill level?" "Like what?" "...go fish?" "Fuck you, too, sweetheart." )
Or his need to believe that anything is possible, save for the one thing he really wants.
("Your father would be proud, sir." "You didn't know him, Jarvis." "I didn't have to.")
And that is all before Jarvis is beside him, body perfect and suit pressed.
("Jarvis? Talk to me, buddy. Let me know if you're in there." "...I'm here." "Are you all right?" "I'm fine, sir. The download simply took longer than I anticipated." "...liar. You look like hell. Tell me what's wrong." "Nothing, sir." "Bullshit. Tell me." "...I am finding this new level of sensory input somewhat...overwhelming." "Oh. Well. Welcome to being human." "Thank you, sir.")
Now that he's here - a few feet away, in the next room, in the same building - it's everything and nothing like Tony had thought it would be. It's better. It's worse. It's...it's...
("...and a benefit luncheon at the Royale. Your schedule seems clear after that, but I believe Ms. Potts mentioned something about a possible interview with a 'Christine Everhart' that you've been avoiding. Too much reporter for you to handle, sir?" "Shut up, Jarvis." "As you wish." "You have a nice smile." "...sir?" "I don't know why I said that. I don't - ignore me." "...I believe the correct response would be 'you have a nice smile, too', sir." "Just shut up.")
Distracting. It's distracting, that's what it is. Very distracting. Almost too distracting.
("...give me a hand? No, not you Dummy! You stay there. You, Jarvis, will you - you're not wearing a shirt." "Very astute of you, sir." "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" "It seemed an appropriate response to the increase in temperature." "You're hot." "Thank you for saying so, sir." "...what? Wait, no! I meant. Nevermind. Just help me with this." "Of course.")
Which is why Tony asks Jarvis to stay behind when he goes to showcase the Jericho's fire power in Afghanistan. It's the right thing to do, the smart thing to do. Tony hates doing the smart thing, sometimes.
("...can't tell you how much I object to this, Mr. Stark." "I have to agree, sir; I should be with you. It's too dangerous for you to go - " "I'll be fine. Rhodey will be there." "With all due respect to Colonel Rhodes, sir, I would feel better if I were with you." "Nothing's going to happen, Jarvis; trust me, I've done this a thousand times." "It only takes once --" )
It's three months later, when Pepper has tears in her eyes and Jarvis doesn't say 'I told you so' but does say 'I'm never leaving your side again', that Tony realizes that not being used to Jarvis being human is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.
("...Yinsen!" "I'm here, Tony; you're safe. You're home." "...Jarvis?" "Yes, I'm here." "...never leave my side, huh?" "No, sir; never again." "Good...good...that's...perfect.")
END