Work Text:
JIM WILL
by Rebel
‘Don’t leave me! Who will look out for me? Who will protect me from the monsters in the dark? Who will…love me?’
Blair Sandburg shook his head in an effort to force the echo of the child’s words from his memory. The little boy that he’d been at the age of three had never said the words aloud when Naomi had left him in the care of friends while she went on an adults-only retreat. But he’d thought them…every night until she’d returned for him.
“This is ridiculous,” Blair muttered as he wiped his face with his hands. “It’s not the same.” He stood and stretched to relieve muscles cramped from sitting for too long in the hard-backed plastic chair.
He stared down at his partner who lay unconscious in the hospital bed next to him. “You just had to play hero, didn’t you?” Blair bitterly muttered as he sat back down.
‘Don’t leave me!’
“I know you never think of yourself, man, but can’t you just once think about me?” Blair ran both hands through his hair, resisting the temptation to pull hard on the curls. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he whispered. “How can I stand to lose you? Do you know that my heart stopped when each of those five bullets slammed into you?”
‘Who will look out for me?’
“I know I bitch sometimes about how over-protective you can be, but I really eat it up,” Blair softly admitted. “Nobody else ever cared if I had enough blankets on my bed. Oh, Naomi would care if she was there. But remember when you were at the seminar with Simon in Seattle and we got hit with that horrible snowstorm? Who else would’ve called to make sure I took your heavy blanket from your bed and put it on my futon? Who else, Jim? Just you ‘cause Naomi sure didn’t call to see if I had enough blankets on my bed. And who always makes sure I always have enough tea and algae? Just you.”
‘Who will protect me from the monsters in the dark?’
“When I was four, I woke up from a nightmare, screaming in absolute terror,” Blair quietly recalled. “Naomi came running in…well, so did Eddie, the guy we were living with. She got me calmed down enough to tell her that there was this huge monster with one big red eye chasing me. She laughed and told me I had such a vivid imagination and put me back to bed. Eddie just snorted and went off to sleep.” Blair reached out and gently squeezed Jim’s hand. “But you, man, you come running when I wake up screaming from the monsters in the dark. And you stay with me, standing guard over me so the monsters don’t get any closer.” He lowered his voice. “You protect me, man…you protect me.”
‘Who will…love me?’
“People say I have a lot of friends and maybe I do,” Blair muttered. “I know there are a lot of people I can talk with and some that I can call on for a ride or to jump the battery in the Volvo if necessary. But there are damn few people who actually love me, Jim. You’re one of them. I know it’s not the way that I love you…I wish to God that it was.”
He lowered his head to the bed, wrapped both of his hands around Jim’s, and whispered, “Don’t leave me. Who will look out for me? Who will protect me from the monsters in the dark? Who will…love me?”
“I will.”
The whispered words hung in the air as Blair slowly raised his head. He stared into the barely-open eyes of his Sentinel. “Jim?”
Jim Ellison tried to smile but closed his eyes.
“Jim!” Blair quickly punched the call button. When the nurse answered, he quickly spoke. “Jim woke up! Please call Dr. Benton!” Then he turned his attention to the man in the bed. “Jim? Please…open your eyes.” He held his breath until Jim’s eyes fluttered open again.
“Look…like…hell.”
“We both do,” Blair agreed, nodding his head so fast that his curls were a blur. When Jim started to turn his head, Blair put one hand to Jim’s cheek. “No, stay still. You took five bullets, man. You’ve been out for almost a week.”
Jim heard the warble in Blair’s voice and saw the tears in the younger man’s blue eyes. “Week?”
“Yeah.” Blair took a deep breath.
Jim turned his hand so that he could wrap his fingers around the hand that was holding his. “Heard…what you…said.”
Blair quickly closed his eyes, then forced them back open. “I meant it.”
“So do I.” Jim squeezed Blair’s fingers. “Say it again.”
Silence.
“Say it,” Jim whispered.
“Please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“Who will look after me?”
“I will.”
“Who will protect me from the monsters in the dark?”
“I will.”
“Who will…” Blair caught his breath. “Who will love me?”
“I will.”
Blair heard voices in the hallway and knew that Jim’s doctor and nurses would be joining them in a few seconds. But he put his head down against Jim’s arm and closed his eyes. He felt Jim’s hand in his hair, fingers gently moving through the curls.
‘Please don’t leave me. Who will look after me? Who will protect me from the monsters in the dark? Who will…love me?
Jim will.’