Chapter Text
He awoke with a start, breathing heavily and clutching at the sheets of his bed. His mind felt completely scattered as he tried to regain his senses. Moments like this always left him reeling. Eyes trailing to the alarm clock he realized the it was still late in the night - or rather, really early in the morning - 3:45AM.
The outburst had managed to wake up his sleeping partner to awaken. "Roy..." the sleep heavy voice started, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing, just...that dream again."
"The one with Jericho, Batman, and the unicorns?"
"No. The other one."
"Oh..." His lover's body pressed closer to his own, face buried in his chest. "I'm not going to disappear, Roy. We bother know that, you don't need to worry. It would take an army to keep me away."
A small smile spread across his face before he leaned down a bit to plant a kiss on his partner's forehead. "You're amazing, Garth."
Garth returned the smile and pressed their lips together, "Love you too, Roy."
--
Once again he was awake before the alarm. Slightly fatigued green eyes remained focused on the blaring red 4:59AM. He had woken up half-an-hour before and began his stating contest with time after being unable to fall back asleep after the first fifteen minutes, preferring a sedentary position to tossing and turning. That dream, that memory always did this. Even after a year the hurt didn't go away and the memories didn't fade.
Roy's hand trailed to the empty side of the bed. How could he forget? He was impossible to fully let go of.
Oh, Garth.
The alarm clock started to buzz, signifying the time he should have woken up. It took a full minute for him to register the loud noise though before he turned it off. Climbing out of bed he started through his usual routine - shower, hair, uniform, checking the day's itinerary. He wasn't sure if he could ever get used to doing so much at five-in-the morning, but he had to deal with it - because he was a leader now. Everything had changed that day in the blink of an eye. Speedy didn't even exist anymore, he was Arsenal now.
The walk from his bedroom to the kitchen was short. As he started making coffee, Arsenal noticed the still-dirty dishes from dinner the night before. If his memory served correctly (as it always did), it had been Superboy's turn to wash them. He wasn't in any mood to try waking up the clone; he could wait until Robin came in from Gotham to handle it. So he plucked out two mugs and washed them off. His eyes trailed to the pools as he put the salt shaker next to the mugs on the table, Garth couldn't drink fresh water.
And then he remembered.
Garth wasn't here anymore.
Garth was dead.
"Shit." Damn dream. Messing with his subconscious. It was supposed to get easier. Wasn't it?
--
Those bastards. They found it funny.
He held the weakened Atlantean in his arms, trying to help him drink the salt water he had brought along with him in the plastic bottle. "Just hold on, Garth, it's going to be alright." That was a bold faced lie.
They had beaten him and kept him out of the water for almost two days. When Roy finally found him he was gasping for breath and they were laughing, taunting.
"Aw, what's the matter Titan need a little water to stand up to us?"
"How pathetic! He's like a beached whale!"
"Why aren't you flopping, Fishy? The water's just a few feet away!"
Something in him managed to snap. He was able to take two of them out easily, but the third managed to grab his bow from him - breaking it with a cruel SNAP. Roy tried to fight him off with his fists, it had been before he started adding a wider selection of weapons to his repertoire, but he was well aware that he was being overpowered. Just when it seemed like it was the end and he had failed, a miracle kicked in.
With his last bit of strength, Garth managed to get on his feet and tacked the assailant. It provided enough of a distraction that Roy was able to roll away and pick up a blunt object, ignoring the fact in had some of Garth's blood on it. With a quick swing he was able to deliver a knock out.
Now here they were, Roy holding his obviously pained boyfriend as they waited for help. Garth shook against him, "Roy, it hurts." He lifted his hand and coughed into it. Eyes widened sadly as he saw blood in the palm. Those same violet eyes were they directed at him, tears welling inside them. "I'm not going to make it."
Roy frowned a bit and held him closer, fingers running through the ebony hair. The most he could do at that moment was be comforting. "Just hold on."
A whimper, "I love you."
"Love you, too..."
He ignored the fact that his own voice was cracking.
--
Arsenal took one of the mugs and poured his coffee. They had lost more than just Aqualad then. The whole time had just been Hell on Earth. The Brotherhood of Evil had managed to regroup and strengthen their numbers along with joining up with Darksied, causing an all out war. From the Titans to the Justice League of America to the Doom Patrol to The Justice Society and everywhere in between, heroes joined up to fight and weaken the enemy once and for all.
The Teen Titan's losses had probably been the hardest hit. Along with a few honorary Titans and Garth, Beastboy had been killed as well. There had been a building collapse in Star City, his body hasn't been found but they all knew nobody could survive the rubble. Dick had felt he failed as a leader and left the team after that. Last Roy had heard he had moved to Blüdhaven and started working under the alias of Nightwing. Starfire had left to join him as well.
As Titans West was completely understaffed, with just Raven and Cyborg left, Bumblebee and the twins had moved over there. They had offered Roy a spot as well, but he couldn't bear to leave - not when this tower held so many memories of Garth and he. So after a name change of his own, he became leader two four new Titans: Superboy, Impulse, Static, and the new Robin. They were a good group of kids, but he still missed his old team though.
The "war" hadn't lasted that long, not even four months, yet it had changed everything so much. They matured, lost allies, gained new ones - it seemed as if the past was farther away that it was. At times the future seemed hazy, so he learned to live in the present. The futures he had envisioned for himself always seemed to collapse so he took it as a lesson. Maybe it would be easier if he stopped thinking of the past.
Arsenal didn't flinch as he heard the hydraulic doors slide open behind him. "Morning, Virgil." he said nonchalantly, sipping his coffee.
Static, on the other hand, did jump in surprise, "How do you do that?" He took the second mug, Garth's mug, and poured his own coffee.
"Bats isn't the only detective in the caped community, Green Arrow was able to teach me a few things. Number one, Impulse makes a lot more noise when he moves around. Number two, Superboy is never up in time for training. Number three, Robin hasn't arrived yet. So obviously it had to be you."
"Man, I'll never get this detective stuff down. Richie even has more of a hang of it than I do, no clue why he won't join the team."
"Well I've been doing this since I was about ten and Gear's a super genius. Besides unlike the both of you, I don't have powers, I need to rely on my wit."
"What wit?" Impulse's voice questioned as he ran into the kitchen. He snatched the doughnut Static had just taken out of the case on the counter.
"Hey!"
Impulse just grinned as he hopped up on the counter himself, legs swinging back and forth. "Tim just came in, he went to go drag Kon out of bed."
Arsenal just nodded as he finished the rest of his coffee. This was the normal Saturday morning routine, the only day all of them could train together easily - what with Batman's possessiveness and Static's obligations in Dakota. Summer was on the horizon though and that freed up some time. He stood up and placed his mug back in the sink, "Maybe while he's at it, Tim can get Kon to wash these."
--
It had been a long day. Roy's whole body ached as he fell back on his bed, kicking off his boots. His memory-dream had also been at the forefront of his mind all day. It had managed to throw his emotional spectrum off kilter and make him feel unlike himself. Sometimes he just wanted to forget completely, if only to move on in his life. But then he would kick himself for thinking that way - even if they seemed like a curse the memories were a gift.
He wasn't really sure how long he lay there, staring at the all too familiar ceiling. It was becoming quite obvious that sleep wasn't going to come easily that night. He rolled onto his side and opened the top drawer of his nightstand, lifting up the cover of the shoebox inside. A quick sift through the loose photographs helped produce the one he was looking for. It was one of those spur of the moment pictures, the kind you take with your arm outstretched and hoped was perfectly centered.
--
"Garth, close your eyes."
"I'm not falling for that trick again."
"C'mon don't be such a wimp, I'm not going to do anything!"
"I swear if you try someth-mmph!"
Beep, beep. SNAP!
--
Roy snickered a bit at the memory that came with the somewhat haphazard picture of him and Garth kissing. It had been about two months before they came out to their teammates and a little over a year after they started dating. Sometimes he wondered how they managed to last, especially when they kept it a secret for so long.
Love could be a strange thing.
"You're really something, aren't you Garth?" he said sullenly, but with a hint of happiness. He placed the picture back in the box, he sometimes contemplated framing a few of them but decided against it since his new team didn't know much of his past. Resting his head back on the pillow, he closed his eyes and hoped for sweeter dreams than the night before.
He didn't need to spend another morning mourning.