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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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877
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1/1
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May I Have a Word?

Summary:

Annie Hacker needs to have a word with Sir Humphrey

Work Text:

Annie chose her time carefully. She waited for Jim to be in
Parliament, and Bernard off on some errand. The boy was sweet, but he
was much too likely to tell Jim she'd been to visit. She knocked
brusquely on the open office door, "Sir Humphrey, may I have a word?"

Humphrey rose, "Of course, Mrs. Hacker."

Annie had closed the door behind her and sat down before Humphrey
could get around his desk, she didn't want to give him time for one of
his convoluted rambles on nothing. His smile was his most perfect and
sincere-looking one, the one reserved for dealing with reporters and
foreign dignitaries.

Annie got straight to the point, unsure how much time they'd have to
talk, "I need to speak to you about something personal."

Humphrey looked a bit taken aback, "I'm not certain I'm the most
qualified to assist you with this particular quandary, nor am I
certain that it would be entirely appropriate in this particular
instance-"

Annie cut him off, not wanting to have to untangle one of Humphrey's
not-denials, "You are the perfect person to talk to about this,
because you are involved with my husband."

She certainly understood why her husband so enjoyed the few times he'd
been able to surprise or hold something over Sir Humphrey. Seeing the
unflappable man so flummoxed was highly amusing. Before he could pull
himself together, she went on, "Jim told me about his preferences
before we married. I told him I had no problems with it, as long as
he told me who he was seeing so I wouldn't create uncomfortable
situations. But that's not the reason I wanted to speak to you."

Humphrey sat back behind his desk, folding his hands before him, "Then
what was your reason?"

"Sir Humphrey, you seem to dislike or resent me. I want to either
resolve the problem, or failing that, I'd ask you to do a better job
concealing your dislike for me. I don't want Jim to feel as if he has
to choose sides between us."

Humphrey regarded her silently for a few moments, before getting up to
sit in the other chair in front of his desk. Annie started to get
nervous when he spoke, "Mrs. Hacker, you know that I do not speak
plainly often, and then, usually under duress. But I feel that I must
speak to this plainly. You are right, I do not care over much for
you. Not because of your place in the minister's life, I understand
it as you understand mine. What I find reprehensible is your
continual derision for Jim's intelligence and perception, and callous
disregard for his feelings when expressing your opinion of his mental
faculties."

Annie was completely gobsmacked. "Wait, what? What do you mean, I
don't deride or disregard Jim."

He leaned forward, "As much as I hate to contradict a lady, you do.
You tell him that his employees kowtow to him, but don't see him. You
mocked his nerves over being appointed as a minister in the first
place. You do so in front of his daughter and his friends."

Annie nearly laughed, "If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black!
You keep things from Jim on a regular basis `for his own good'. You
manipulate him constantly, you almost never agree with him on the role
of a minister in government! How is that any different?"

Humphrey regarded her seriously, "The minister prefers plain speech,
and so I've had to express unfortunate truths badly. Whenever
possible, I attempt to obfuscate and obscure such things. I most
especially endeavor not to express such things in front of subordinates,
other ministers, or the press."

Annie shifted in her chair, uncomfortable now, "But, Jim knows I don't
mean anything by it. He used to joke about such things himself!"

"In the past, perhaps he did. But the ugly realities of his career
have removed a great deal of the humor he once found in the situation.
But then, you yourself have noticed the enormous amount of pressure
your husband is under, especially when he attempts to take on duties
not his own." Annie uneasily reflected on her flippant attitude when
Jim had been snowed under with documents. She told Jim that he'd
given Humphrey the perfect chance to snow him under, amazed he hadn't
seen that for himself. She also remembered the look on Jim's face
when he'd realized that she was right. "Mrs. Hacker, am I right in
assuming you do not wish the minister to know of our little chat?"
She nodded, not quite able to speak, and Humphrey went on in a gentle
tone, "Then I would recommend that you and the minister go out to
lunch as your reason for being here. Or, if you feel unequal to
spending time with him at the moment, that you leave before he returns
from parliament."

She settled for a quick nod as she got up to leave. Her mind was
whirling. Was Humphrey right? Had she stopped paying attention to
Jim? Stopped caring about the details of Jim's life? Not to mention
the fact that she wasn't sure exactly how to fix things, or how to
talk to Jim about all of this.