Chapter Text
Title: Cloud's Harem
Chapter: 1/? - Swords, Beauty, & Mysterious Handprints
Author: Danyella Skyler Silverfire
Website: Livejournal, or Fanfiction.Net
Rating: PG-13 or T
Genre(s): Humor
Pairing(s): None yet.
Summary: Sephiroth can get some weird ideas sometimes. Jenova doesn't help things either.
Chapter Summery: Sephiroth's a ditz, Jenova's a mother, and Cloud's just confused by the girls.
Warnings: Crossdressing, Creepy Sephiroth and Jenova, Improper placement of hands.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Final Fantasy 7. I never have, and I never will. But that doesn't hinder my ability to play and enjoy the game.
Author's Note: Okay this was a really weird, but very funny plot bunny I got. This is a crack-fic. I seem to be in a humor-FF7 phase lately. But it's giggle worthy.
Word Count: 5,436
Cloud's Harem
Chapter One: Swords, Beauty, & Mysterious Handprints
Sephiroth came out of his room in the Wall Market Inn and stretched his arms over his head, as he yawned widely, 'That was a good nap. I feel much more refreshed now.' He started when he heard a loud popping from his left side, just out of his line-of-sight. Reacting on refined instinct he slashed out with Masamune, in a swift maneuver that formed part of his legend.
Looking to his left, he was embarrassed to find that a sweet smelling liquid was running down the blade because he had just disemboweled the vending machine when he had accidentally popped his own jaw. "Right..."
"You there! What did you do? You work for that asshole don't you!? Out, get out!" The manager started pushing Sephiroth out the front door of the Inn, berating loudly him the entire time.
"Hey! Hey!" Sephiroth jumped out the door in surprise. 'Did that guy just goose me? Me, the fearsome General Sephiroth? Surely my reputation hasn't deteriorated so much in the last five years, since my, oh, so unfortunate demise?' Turning around to face the front of the Inn he rubbed his leather clad rear with his right hand as he eyed the newly slammed door. 'I think he bruised me. That's rather impressive through the leather and mako.'
Sephiroth sighed as he looked down at his now slimy sword. "Oh my stars and garters! Masamune, I'm so sorry!" Grabbing a random passerby by the shirt he swiftly defrocked them and started cleaning the Masamune of all evil gooey-wetness.
"Hey! Did you have to take my pants too?"
Sephiroth looked over at the squalling human in surprise, "Of course. I need to it for the third wipe down."
"You... you..." The man was cut off as a group of prostitutes approached him and started cooing over him. "Never mind. Thanks buddy."
"Buddy?" Sephiroth stared after the retreating peons in surprise. 'Pathetic humans are so... weird.' Shaking off the disturbance, Sephiroth turned and walked into the nearest doorway with an Item sign over it, only to find the place empty. "Eh?"
Standing before him was a large, glowing vending machine with a 'free' sign hanging from it. "Ohhh... Free stuff!" Rushing forward Sephiroth hugged the machine before pulling back and clearing his throat as he reclaimed his dignity.
Looking around swiftly to make sure that he was truly alone, Sephiroth reached forward and pushed the button, only to be attacked by what he had thought were ornamental machine guns. "Gah! Trap! Fine, I didn't want anything anyway." He kicked the machine hard enough for it to actually rise briefly off the ground and thump down again with a loud crash.
"Eh-heh-heh." Sephiroth scratched behind his ear with the blade of Masamune as he stared at the machine. "Right," Sephiroth froze for a moment before slowly, and carefully pulling the Masamune away from his throat and putting it away. He slowly turned his head and saw a single silver hair loosely lying upon his armor clad shoulder. To his expert eye it was glaringly obvious that it had been sliced by a very sharp blade. 'While it's nice to know that Masamune-chan is so sharp, I really need to stop doing that. If I keep doing that I might end up with short hair.'
/As I told you, dear, tie it back like that nice young man told you to,/ Jenova's cold, clingy voice broke into Sephiroth's thoughts.
'Eh? What nice young man?' Sephiroth asked confused, his elegant brow furrowing.
/The dark, hyper one. You know the one; talked a lot, nice rear, tendency to loose his clothes a lot./
'Zack?'
/Yes, him. Whatever happened to that dear boy?/
'I killed him five years ago, Mother.'
/Did you? I could have sworn... Oh well./
Shaking off his brief internal conversation Sephiroth turned to look at the vending machine again only to see the door hanging open. "Cool." Reaching inside he pulled out a pair of fighting gloves. "Nice." Sephiroth pulled off one of his gloves and tried putting on the new one only to pout in disgust, "Ah man. They're too small." Grumbling he tossed them back inside the vending machine and slammed the door closed.
Still grumbling Sephiroth stepped back out into the busy street only to be accosted by a fat man in a ball cap and vest. "You!"
"Yes?" Sephiroth stared down at the man from his superior height with his full on disdainful General glare. It didn't work.
"You're the one that broke the vending machine aren't you?"
'How did he know? Was he spying on me? How dare this pathetic excuse for an insect dare to spy on me, the Great General Sephiroth. If I want to break something, then I'll break it, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me.' As Sephiroth continued to rant inside his head the man was dragging him through the crowds until they reached yet another grungy door like all the other grungy doors. Although this one was special, it for one was even grungier, and it had an even more disreputable look to it than the door to the strip club two buildings down. The one with the picture of the nude woman painted on it doing unmentionable things to a beer bottle.
Pushing Sephiroth inside, the man took a furtive look around before hurrying inside and locking the door behind him. "Good, no one followed us."
Sephiroth started internally when he noticed the scene change. 'How'd I get here? Eh, that little man's talking to me. Maybe I should pay attention to what little he has to say.'
"So here, you can have this in thanks. There's no way that he can compete with me now! So here!" The man reached up onto the shelves behind the counter and turned around and handed Sephiroth a Ruby Tiara.
Sephiroth turned the object over in his hands closely inspecting it before asking the truly vital question, "What's it for?"
"You wear it of course. Like a hat."
Sephiroth eyed the Tiara thoughtfully. 'Well it is pretty. The rubies remind me of fire. Yes... fire.' Snickering sinisterly Sephiroth put on the Tiara. As he adjusted it in his reflection on the display case glass.
/I like it. So... red!/
"Fire!" Pleased with the way the Ruby Tiara set off his lush silver hair and black leather clothes, he left the shop to continue upon his quest for an imitation Masamune. He knew there had to be one here somewhere.
Wandering down the street, Sephiroth preened internally under the admiring looks he received for his new hat. 'Oh! Food!' He turned abruptly and entered the small restaurant. Still muttering "Fire!" he sat himself at the counter.
He was pulled from his warm memories of Nibelheim's demise by the cook setting a plate full of food in front of him. 'I always knew cooks were psychic. This just proves it.' Smirking Sephiroth took a large bite of his dish only to feel his mouth catch fire.
Falling backwards off his stool Sephiroth rolled on the floor holding his face as he gagged. 'Fire! Fire bad! Too hot! Too hot! Need... water!'
Sephiroth managed to gasp out a desperate, squeaky plea of, "Water!"
Someone held out a glass that he grabbed and gulped down only to find that it was milk instead. 'That idiot! I said water! Wait... its working better. The peon shall live for now.' Sephiroth dropped the empty glass and gasped for breath. "Too hot. Good, but too hot. Can I have some soy sauce?" Sephiroth asked looking up at the concerned cook.
"Sure. Are you alright?"
"Just surprised me. Once you get past the horrible pain and heat its actually pretty good." Pulling himself up the barstool he managed to seat himself again in front of his dangerous meal. "Good stuff. Can I have a glass of milk to go with it? No, make that a pitcher."
The crowd watched as the intimidating man wearing a Ruby Tiara saturated his plate in soy sauce and started to eat again, albeit more carefully, and with liberal drinks of milk in between bites.
One of the patrons leaned over and murmured to another, "Looks like this competition is drawing more freaks than I thought. I think I might actually go watch."
"You said it."
Twenty minutes later a much fuller and very slightly wiser Sephiroth exited the restaurant holding a coupon and a recipe for the dish. "Wonder what this is good for...?"
Walking down the street a little ways he entered the pharmacy to redeem his coupon. Who knows when he'll come back here again. 'It might be years, it might be destroyed by the time I get back.' Looking around the cluttered shop he saw the clerk behind the counter... dancing? "How odd."
"Gah! Don't do that!" the man said swiftly hiding the mop under the counter where it clattered to the floor loudly. "What do you want?"
"I have this coupon?"
"Let me see that!" The man reached over the counter and snatched the coupon from Sephiroth's hand and inspected it closely. "Alright this looks real. Here's what we have." Reaching under the counter the man came up with a box and showed Sephiroth several different vials.
Shrugging internally, Sephiroth poked through the vials and sniffed at the scent of the contents. 'Hmm... Which should I get?'
/I like the flowery one. It reminds me of this stunning field I once slaughtered some annoying Cetra in. Very soothing./ Jenova sighed at the happy memory.
'That sounds so... beautiful.' Straightening he held up a very delicate and feminine crystal vial of Flowery Perfume. "My mother loves this scent. I'll take it." The last was said in a menacing tone, complete with intimidating loom. 'You will give it to me.'
"It's your choice. If there isn't anything else, have a nice day."
"Oh... Thanks. You too." Surprised at how simple the transaction was Sephiroth exited the pharmacy and looked around. 'I never knew getting an imitation Masamune could be so hard.'
/You're doing fine dear. Thank you for the nice gift. Such a sweet son./
'Anything for you Mother. Maybe he can help.' Sephiroth swerved and approached a man inspecting some dresses on a rack. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, you almost didn't make it in time," The man said after eyeing Sephiroth's Ruby Tiara and the Flowery Perfume bottle he still held in his hand.
"Well yes, that's why I'm asking you for directions." Sephiroth preened again as he felt the man's admiration of his greatness wash over him.
"Well you're here."
Sephiroth blinked in surprise. 'This is easier than I thought. Maybe I should ask for directions more often.'
"Come right in and we'll get you all fixed up."
"Thank you." Sephiroth followed the man into the store only to blink in surprise. 'This isn't an Otaku store. How I'm I going to find a sword here?' "Excuse me? I don't think you have what I'm looking for."
"Ah, a discerning eye. Let me show you my special wares." The man next to the counter said cheerfully.
"Oh, okay." Sephiroth followed the man to the back of the store only to find himself presented with a rack of dresses. "Umm... I don't think..."
"You're right. Your height could pose a bit of a problem." The man started to riffle through the dresses at a swift rate.
"I think I should... Wait, what's wrong with my height?" Sephiroth demanded as the man held up a dress to Sephiroth's chest.
"You're right. Why should you let your height be a problem? Would you mind removing your coat and armor so I can better see what I have to work with?"
"Okay. I guess." Sephiroth unbuckled his bulky armor and set it aside before he shrugged out of his heavy leather coat.
"Hmm... This could be a nice challenge. I think I might have something that'll work. It'll have to be hemmed in; you're much leaner than the man I made it for. You're just lucky that the color of it washed him out." As the man rambled he wandered off and came back with a box that he shoved into Sephiroth's hands. "Go on and let's see how it looks first."
Sephiroth entered the booth and opened the box. There was a wine red satin shirt. When he pulled it out of the box he saw that what he had thought was a shirt was actually a dress. 'Why does he want me to put on a dress?'
/Such a lovely color. At least try it on dear./
'But it's a dress.' Sephiroth whined internally.
/I think it will look flattering on you. Besides you should at least try. It's only polite after all, and you must not sink to their base level./
'Yes Mother.' Sighing Sephiroth swiftly changed into the dress. Looking into the provided mirror he pouted. "It doesn't fit."
"Of course it doesn't fit. I haven't adjusted it yet. Come out and let's see what I have to work with."
Reluctantly stepping through the curtain Sephiroth stood awkwardly, valiantly ignoring the way the man was poking, prodding and adjusting. It was oddly less invasive than being fitted for his formal wear. "Hmm... much better than I thought. Do you want to go for sexy or elegant?"
"Elegant?" Sephiroth frowned slightly. 'What's he talking about now? I'm both sexy and elegant!'
"Ah, good choice. Most people think sexy is everything, but elegant can say much more." The man pulled out a hedgehog pie shaped pin cushion and proceeded to spend the next forty minutes poking Sephiroth with sharp needles.
Finally satisfied he pulled back and called out, "Mitsubachi[1]! I've got another one for you."
"Let me see what you want me to do now," A woman in extremely tight clothes grumbled as she flounced over from where she was flirting with some of the customers. "Hmm... This one isn't so bad. He might even be better than Pooch." She walked slowly around Sephiroth before nodding decisively, "Have a seat over here and I'll get to work."
Sephiroth sat petrified where she indicated as she did things to him. Many a time Sephiroth felt serious worry for his life as she approached him with various implements of torture. She even managed to make a brush look scary.
After an excruciating amount of time the woman stood back and eyed her work with a critical dispassionate eye that also had the side effect of making Sephiroth feel as though he were just an experiment again. Hojo had never been able to make him feel so inferior, even on his most enthralled days.
"You'll do. You have incredible hair you know. I think I'm almost jealous. Come on and tell the old man I'm earning my money. I need the money if I'm going to open that salon." The woman hustled Sephiroth over to the full length mirror and shoved him in front of it.
Sephiroth blinked in shock at the elegant woman in front of him. "That's me?"
"Yup. That Tiara was a good choice. It goes great with the dress, the perfume too. Just fill out these and you'll be set." The woman shoved a clipboard and pen into Sephiroth's hands and walked off to torture the next person.
Blinking again Sephiroth frowned as he read through the form. 'Beauty contest? But I'm a guy!'
/And you look beautiful dear. If they are stupid enough not to let you win, burn them all./
"Yes fire..." Sephiroth muttered as he distractedly filled out the form. When he finished he looked around for somewhere to put it.
"Ah you're done? Just hand that over and join the others please." The woman gave Sephiroth a bright smile as she took the clipboard and pen from him.
"Thank you." Sephiroth nodded politely at the woman as he walked over to join the various dress clad men standing just outside. 'Well at least I don't feel too strange.'
/You look wonderful dear. Makes me almost wish for a daughter./ Jenova sounded positively wistful.
'Mother!' Sephiroth exclaimed in shock and hurt.
/Not that I'm not happy to have you as a son, it's just some things that only a mother and daughter can share./
Sephiroth felt slightly soothed by that and inspected the others. 'I look much better than any of them.'
/Of course dear. You are vastly superior in all ways to those creatures. Now remember, be polite and poised. You have to make a good impression after all./ Jenova coached Sephiroth as he daintily fidgeted with his dress.
'I feel as if I'm going to rip it,' Sephiroth complained internally. 'I've never worn anything this... delicate before.'
/Well you do prefer leather dear. That is a much hardier material than the dress,/ Jenova pointed out.
'True.' Sephiroth, satisfied that he looked stunning - which he did - looked around casually only to have his eyes alight on a poster explaining the rules of the competition. Reading carefully through the rules he started panicking internally at one line. 'Mother there's a talent portion. I don't have a talent! What will I do? I'm going to lose because I only know how to kill and burn things and others don't appreciate the fine art of that!'
/Don't worry dear, we'll think of something. After all, there's no way you can lose to these inferior creatures,/ Jenova soothed.
Sephiroth took a deep breath and pulled himself together. 'You're right. You're right, there's no way I can possibly lose. I'm too perfect.' Confidence restored just in time, Sephiroth was led with the other contestants to a stage that had been set up further down Wall Market.
After what felt like an eternity Sephiroth was finally called on stage by the announcer who read off his stats before putting the microphone in front of Sephiroth before asking in a smarmy voice, "And what are three goals you have for yourself?"
"First I will like to kill President ShinRa. Second thing I'd like to do is to save my mother. Finally I will become a god and all shall worship me!" Sephiroth chuckled maniacally at the thought of his plans. 'Yes, I shall achieve them all! None shall stand in my way!'
"Admirable and honest goals. Please walk the length of the stage for us."
Shrugging internally Sephiroth glided along the stage as he had seen the earlier contestants do. 'This isn't so bad. You know this floating thing is very helpful. I look good!' As he reached the end of the stage and was about to turn and go back there was a roar as a Hell House bounced up to the crowd.
Sephiroth gave the Hell House a disdainful glare. 'It dares to chase away my admiring audience! It shall die. Painfully.'
/Mind your dress dear./ Jenova gently chided her currently dress clad son.
'Yes Mother.' Glaring Sephiroth floated towards the monster with his sword drawn. When he reached the monster he impaled it mid-leap and cast a Bolt 3 along the blade to fry it in a spectacular and sparkly manner. 'I'm good.'
/You make me so proud./ Jenova said tearily with a delicate sniff at the end.
Sephiroth smirked and tossed his intricately braided hair[2] over his shoulder with one hand and tossed the Hell House off the Masamune with a negligent, and at the same time delicate flick of his wrist.
The announcer, ever the professional, spoke into the microphone again, "Miss Firaga folks. Let's give 'em a hand."
Sephiroth took it as his due as the crowd started applauding his greatness. 'ShinRa is right about one thing: the masses are easily pleased.'
Sephiroth hummed as he strolled down the road to the mansion even gaudier than the contents of Heidegger's 'secret' closet. 'I've never won anything before!'
/You deserve it dear. You are in a completely different class from those lowly creatures./
'What are they doing?' Sephiroth asked curiously as he eyed some kids doing something with a cable in an alleyway.
/I believe its that 'playing' that humans are fond of doing./
'But there are no weapons or training that I can see.' Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow in confusion and curiosity.
/Human's are weird like that I gather./ Jenova said wisely. /Always doing things that serve no purpose./
'How... peculiar.' Walking up behind one of the girls he asked, "What are you doing?"
"Climbing up to look at the damage," she informed him excitedly.
"Damage?" Sephiroth's brow furrowed slightly. 'Did I miss something?'
The girl gave him a weird look. "Sector Seven fell down."
"It did? When?" Sephiroth asked surprised.
"This afternoon. Where were you?"
"Asleep in the Inn. Was it very loud?" 'Huh. Wonder how I missed that.'
/You needed your sleep dear, and it wasn't that important./
'No, I suppose not at that.'
"Really, really loud."
"Ah. So why are you climbing the cable?" Sephiroth inquired tilting his head slightly.
"You can get up to the plate from there. Some people came by earlier and did it," she informed him excitedly. "It was really neat."
'Hmm... I suppose I should be getting on my way. Though still no sword.' Sephiroth nodded to the girl before flying himself up to the top of the wall. He was annoyed and surprised when he jerked to a halt. Looking down he realized his foot had gotten caught on the cable, but a quick shake of his leg sent it flying over the wall free of him.
/I wonder if that nice little shop is still there./ Jenova mused distractedly.
Sephiroth strolled down another of ShinRa Headquarters drab hallways, still basking in his victory only to find himself in the entering a vaguely familiar unfamiliar area. 'I loath getting lost.'
/Its fine dear. Just hurry and retrieve me please my tentacles are getting most cramped./ Jenova requested.
'Of course Mother.' Sephiroth strode up to the guard at the corner and was about to ask for directions when his eyes suddenly narrowed. 'I know that guard. I hate that guard. I'm going to kill that guard.'
The guard didn't even get a chance to squeak let alone scream as Sephiroth made his mother proud and proceeded to kill him in a bloody and decisive manner.
/That's beautiful sweetness./ Jenova cried proudly.
'I'll bring you the heart. You deserve a nice gift,' Sephiroth promised.
/You're such a good, sweet son./ Jenova gave him a mental embrace. /I'm so lucky./
Euphoric on Jenova's praise Sephiroth curiously looked inside each of the rooms. He stopped and stared in fascination into the lower middle one. 'Those are... huge!'
In a trance-like state he unlocked the door and inched forward, his hand outstretched to touch only to pull up short as he saw his red stained hands contrast starkly with the buxom brunette woman's white top.
Pouting in annoyance Sephiroth contemplated the problem. He suddenly brightened, 'I'm telekinetic. Thank you Mother.' /Ah, my sweet boy, is growing up and taking an interest in girls./ Jenova sniffed sentimentally. /It seems like it was just yesterday you were killing your first human./
'Mother!' Sephiroth whined mentally as he telekinetically lifted the shirt up and placed his bloody hands on the white bra underneath. 'So... firm and squishy. I guess there is something to all that gossip.' After groping the unconscious woman for several minutes he pulled back with a sigh.
/I'm sorry dear, but I really would like to be able to stretch./ 'That's fine Mother. I'll just... You know he looks familiar.' Sephiroth eyed the blonde sleeping against the other wall. Before he could contemplate it much further the blonde rolled over and turned his back to the red clad general. 'Did you see that? He turned his back on me! No one turns their back on me!'
/Well that is a rather nice back./ Jenova murmured.
'Mother! ...Wow. You're right...' Walking over Sephiroth repeated his earlier actions only with the blonde's rear end.
/Nicely firm and muscular. Very tight./ Jenova commented.
'Mother! Stop coping feels through me!' Sephiroth complained slightly shocked.
/You're the one 'coping a feel,' I'm just commenting./ Jenova pointed out reasonably.
'Right... I'll go get on with my agenda now.' Sephiroth reluctantly removed himself from the cell and continued on his dress clad way.
A Week Later in Kalm...
Tifa stood in the bathroom in their shared room and gratefully removed her filthy top with a relieved sigh. 'Man do I need to get new clothes. Wearing the same outfit for a week straight, while traveling on foot, and fighting monsters is really hard on them.'
She was unfastening her bra when she looked up into the mirror and let out a loud offended shriek.
There was a loud thump followed by, "What's wrong?" Aerith's worried voice asked from the other side of the door.
"Someone groped me!" Tifa yelled staring down at the offending rust red handprints on her bra.
"Is there someone else in there?" Aerith asked even more worried.
"No! Look!"
"That's kinda hard with a door between us."
Tifa unlocked and yanked open the door. "Look! No wonder my breasts hurt last week."
Aerith stared in shock at the large handprints on Tifa's bra. "Do you think the Don...?"
"No, he had small pudgy hands. And Barret's hands are to big, not to mention he only has the one," Tifa ground out. 'I will find out who did this, and they will pay!'
"Cloud? He does tend to get rather bloody while fighting," Aerith suggested sharing Tifa's offence at the crime.
"No, his hands are smaller and more delicate. Maybe one of the TURKs?" Tifa put forward as she thought over who would have even been in the position to try since she'd last looked at her bra.
Aerith nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe... Want to go shopping with me after we shower?"
"Thank you. I really need new... everything." Tifa grumbled as she thought over how unprepared they were when they left Midgar.
"Tifa? Why are you standing there in your bra?" Cloud asked confused as he entered their room. He swiftly averted his eyes respectfully; he had seen what those two girls could do.
"Someone groped me!" Tifa exclaimed, more than willing to share her offence with their leader.
"I didn't know you swung that way Aerith. I guess the date's off then." Cloud joked giving the girls a slight smile.
"No, look!" Tifa demanded gesturing to her chest.
Cloud looked over finally and stared at the handprints. "You too?"
"What do you mean, 'me too?'" Tifa demanded.
"I found handprints just like that on my boxers when I showered." Cloud ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment at both the memory and having to explain to the girls.
Tifa latched onto Cloud's suspenders and yanked him nose to nose with her. "Show me!" she ordered a wrathful fire gleaming in her eyes.
Cloud nodded and pointed to his bed where a pile of miscellaneous items sat. "I'm going without until I can get more. I find it less disturbing to my admittedly fragile mental state."
Aerith walked over and briskly dug the pile of stuff. Finding them she held them up and inspected the rusty handprints standing out against the stark white of the boxers. "They look the same size."
Tifa dropped Cloud, who stumbled a bit catching his balance, and marched over to compare the incriminating handprints. "They're definitely too small to be Barrett's."
"Maybe you're right; it has to be one of the TURKs." Aerith's eyes narrowed evilly. "Oh, are they going to get it next time I run into them."
"You and me both." Tifa dropped the boxers and headed to her shower still fuming. Not even slamming the door made her feel better.
Cloud just blinked confused. Yes it was disturbing to discover the handprints, but he didn't think it warranted that much of a reaction.
Tifa shrieked again from the bathroom, "He left bruises!"
Aerith eyed Cloud thoughtfully. "What about you?"
"I don't know. It's not like I can look and see," Cloud pointed out sourly.
"I could check for you." Aerith grinned at Cloud who flushed and quit the room. Aerith looked at the underwear again. "Tseng has a lot to explain next time I see him."
Aerith looked over the proffered item doubtfully. "I really don't think it suits me."
"Just wear it under your dress. Look it'll offer you some more protection and support. Which you'll definitely need considering we're hoofing it to Junon," Tifa pointed out reasonably. "I'd get one for myself if they had one in my size. Luck you; you're easier to shop for. I'm lucky I even found a white one in my size."
Aerith reluctantly accepted the black leather bustier. "Do you have one in pink? Or maybe white like Tifa's? I don't think black is really my color." Aerith asked the hovering clerk.
"I'm sorry ma'am. We're rather short after the convention last week. Our next shipment hasn't come in yet. If you're willing to wait we could give you more of a selection." The clerk offered apologetically.
"Convention?" Tifa asked confused.
"S&M. They bought us out mostly. And that biker gang that drifted through a few days ago bought the rest. I've never actually seen this shop so bare." The clerk smiled proudly. "But we do offer superior wares; you unfortunately came at a bad time."
"They have conventions for that sort of thing?" Aerith asked surprised.
"Oh yes. Not that most people realized that it was for that, but it was good for the local economy. We host a lot of conventions."
Tifa nodded thoughtfully. "You must make a lot from that and people heading to or away from Midgar. Maybe I should set up a bar here if I ever get around to reopening mine."
Aerith sighed and held the bustier up to herself. "I suppose I should at least try this on before completely vetoing it."
"The changing rooms are right this way ma'am." The clerk said leading Aerith to the back, leaving Tifa to go over the rather bare shelves.
While Tifa was waiting Cloud entered the shop and walked over to join her. "We shouldn't be much longer. Aerith is trying on something. They really don't have much at the moment." Cloud gave her a curious look prompting her to clarify. "Convention and biker gang."
"Ah. No suspenders?" Cloud asked.
"No, they had some, here." She handed over the item. "This what you want?"
Cloud minutely inspected the item before nodding and walking over to the counter.
Aerith walked out of the back buttoning up her dress again. "You don't mind me wearing it out?"
"Not at all. Oh sir! Sorry for having you wait. Did you find anything you like?" The clerk asked hustling over to the register.
"Yes, these and whatever they're getting." Cloud jerked his head to Aerith and Tifa.
"I'm really not sure..." The clerk began only to be verbally overrun by the pink-clad girl.
"Are you sure Cloud? I can pay for it myself you know."
Cloud just shrugged and pulled out his wallet. "I might as well pay since I'm here. You two finish the rest of the shopping?"
"Yes, this was the last shop, though we couldn't get everything." Tifa said walking over. "You decide to get it?"
Aerith nodded cheerfully. "It's more comfortable than I thought, and you're right about the protection."
The clerk smiled at the trio. "Maybe if you tell me what you didn't find I can look for it in the back."
Tifa handed over a long list. Before looking down the front of Aerith's dress and whispering with the other girl quietly.
Cloud just gave them an indulgent look as the clerk looked over the unchecked items.
"Well we're out of most of this, but we do have a sister shop in Junon and I can put in an order there for you. You can pick it up when you reach there."
Cloud thought it over briefly before nodding. "Do you have a catalog?"
The clerk handed over the requested item and let the blonde leaf through it as they rung up the girl's purchases. Cloud swiftly finished finding what he needed, or felt he would need by the time they reached Junon.
The clerk handed him a business card for the Junon shop and grinned cheerfully as the trio left the shop. It had been a good month for the leather shop. They were well into the black, and he had seen so many interesting people.
[1] Mitsubachi: Japanese for honeybee. She's the girl in the Honey Bee Inn that puts the makeup on Cloud after having this whole internal dialogue about him.
[2] Sephiroth's Hair: Think Lulu's hair style from FF10, but with a ruby tiara.