Chapter Text
Disclaimer: “NCIS” and its characters don’t belong to me they belong to CBS and its owners. Please don’t sue because I have no money.
Author’s Note: Another Boxed In fic.
Alone
He walked out of headquarters and towards his car. He took off his sling and threw it into the passenger seat. It didn’t hurt that bad and he was trying to make it seem like it hurt much more. He started the car and drove away from the yard. He remembered when he started working here and Abby finally started liking him that he wasn’t alone anymore. That he had friends and as years went on he felt that they were his family. He wasn’t in touch with his father and thought of as Gibbs as his father one that cared about him and Abby was the little sister that he never had. He remembered when he was missing with the Marine Atlas and when he got back to headquarters he asked, no more like begging to Gibbs to admit that he worried about him and he cared. When he finally did he was so happy and then he saw McGee at his desk and then Gibbs said that he wasn’t dead that he couldn’t have his job and then McGee smiled. That hurt him a lot. He couldn’t believe that Gibbs said that to him. He should have known what that would have done to him. That night he remembered that he went home and got drunk. Luckily the next day wasn’t a school day. When McGee started working for them he was a little angry towards McGee because he thought he was after his job. He didn’t like him at all then.
His father was right. He was worthless and unlovable. Nobody cared for him and the sooner he learned that particular lesson the better it would be on him. His father kept on beating that lesson and some other lessons into him, as a child and he never got it.
He stopped at the local store and brought some bottles of liquor. He needed to get some more anyways because he was running out anyways. He went home and sat the bottles on the counter and then he changed his clothes. He thought that he had family here and wasn’t alone, but he was so wrong. He was alone. He knew now that he wasn’t wanted. Should he leave NCIS and go somewhere else, or should he stay? He wondered if he should have to talk to the Director to see what he should do, but that wouldn’t be doing that until Monday. He got out one of the bottles and opened it up. He turned on the TV and flipped though the channels finally stopping on one of the many channels to a movie that he liked. As he sat there he started drinking out of the bottle. He didn’t care enough to get a glass and pour it into it. He wanted the liquor as fast as he could.
What did he do? What had he done for Gibbs and the rest of the team not to like him? He didn’t expect it from Gibbs and Abby. Those two knew him. They knew what he needed and what he was like. He couldn’t believe that Gibbs rubbed it into his face by telling him what they had at Ziva’s home by telling him what he had.
He remembered when he had gone undercover with Ziva pretending to be a married assassin couple. They both got captured and taken to a room and both of them sat there tied to the chair. The man started hitting him and then he told Ziva to leave and save herself. He knew that they were going to kill him and he knew that he couldn’t let that happen, but he didn’t want Ziva to die, so that is why he let her go. He didn’t want her dead. He couldn’t believe that she hadn’t invited him to her home after what he had been through in that room. He was the only one to get hit seven times. He was the only one that was about to get killed and yet she excluded him from their little family dinner.
He would have expected this from his biological family because his father hated him. He never liked him when he was a child. His father had beaten him when he was a child and then when he was twelve he washed his hands of him and threw him out and sent him to Military school.
Why did learning lessons always have to be learned the hard way? He thought to himself.