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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Getting Ahead
By (Oh, no. I'm still not going to admit to this.)
Date: Jan 2001
Rating: PG
Pairing: Apollo/Starbuck
Feedback: jennylmr@yahoo.com
Summary: A response to the badfic challenge.
The whole fleet was on alert. Even that really big ship, the Bottlestar Galactico, I believe its called.
An unidentified space vehicle was approaching and it was making them all very nervous.
"Oh! I just hate unexpected guests! That floor where all those little ships land is sure to be a mess. I don't even have time to prepare snacks to offer them. Apoolo, did you happen to save that banana you and Starbum were using a while back?"
"We're still using it."
"No wonder Starbutt was walking so funny! Tigh I don't suppose you..." Adama looked around at the bridge crew who were at staring at him with interest, "Nevermind."
"Commander! That ship just launched something at us!" Rigel tugged at the Commander's sleeve to get his attention.
"What is it?" Aduma looked at the viewscreen.
"It's a small object!" Regel informed him.
Adoma rolled his eyes, "I can see that. What *is* the object?"
"I don't know!"
"Have you tried using the scanners on it?"
"No! Do you want me to?!"
Adamo gritted his teeth, "It might be nice."
"Okay!"
"Well?" Adamma prompted her after a moment.
"Well what?"
"What do the scanners say?"
"They don't say anything. It isn't a talking scanner. But the screen shows that it's a pod containing a small life form."
"Why would someone launch a pod at us?" Adama wondered aloud.
"I don't know!"
"Oh, just forget it! Someone pull the darn thing in. I'll go down and see what it is for myself! Apolo, get Starluck and meet me in the launch bay."
"To protect you in case there's any danger, Sir?"
"No. It's just that you two always seem to be around whenever something happens. I don't know why but that's just the way it is."
*****
Somehow the three of them still arrived in the launch bay at the same time.
Adamaa strode up to the pod and opened the lid.
"Greetings, old friend." Baltar turned his face upwards and smiled at Adama.
"Baltar! You fiend! You, you, where's the rest of you?"
"They chopped off my head in the pilot movie. The nerve of them! And after all that I've done for them! Oh well, what's a guy to do? One centon I'm trying to get ahead, the next centon I am a head."
"Serves you right you traitor!" Starmuck snapped.
"Yeah. You're a very bad man!" Apillo put in angrily.
"Now boys, don't be rude. He's still a guest," Abama admonished. "You two go find a shelf to put him on or something while I go talk to the Council about what to do with him. They always seem to come up with a wise decision."
The two warriors grabbed the pod and headed out of the landing bay. Once out in the corridor Starchuck looked to see if anyone was around.
"Hey, Polly. The commander didn't say anything about what shelf to put him on," Starbright grinned evilly at his wingmate.
Alollo smirked, "No. As a matter of fact he didn't."
"Hey!" Balter's head cried out indignantly from its pod. "You two hotspots better not do anything you'll regret!"
"Don't worry, Baldar. We won't regret it." Starlust snickered.
The studly pilots set the pod down. Apolly pulled out Balten's head and tucked it under his arm while Starman shoved the pod into a nearby storage closet.
"You two are going to be in so much trouble when I get my hands on you! I mean, if I still had hands," Balman squawked. "And haven't you ever heard of deodorant, flyboy?"
"He's right, Appolo," Starsuck said. "You do have that not so fresh smell about you."
Apollo blushed, "You could have said something to me about it earlier."
"Sorry," Stardust shrugged.
"I told you so," Beltire snapped. "Have I ever lied to you before?"
"No. Not to me personally," Apolony had to agree.
They made their way down the corridor and to the OC without being noticed, even with Baltin loudly complaining the whole way.
Setting Biltar's head none to gently on the table, they both took a seat and ordered a round of drinks.
"Does your *companion* want one to?" the barman asked the warriors, eyeing the head dubiously.
"Of course I want one!" Bultar said. "Do you have any idea how much of a thirst a head works up flying around in a pod?"
"No. I can't say that I do," the barman left to go get the drinks.
"So what do you think we should do with him, Apallo?" the honey-blond asked.
"I'm not sure yet. I'm sure we'll think of something after a few drinks."
Starbnny giggled, "Yeah. That always seems to help."
"You better not hurt me," Boltar threatened. "I have friends in high places."
"Yeah. Right," Both men snorted.
"Apulla, there's a com for you," the barman called over.
Anillo went over to the wall cum, listened for a few minutes, then headed back to the table looking rather ill.
"What's up?" Starfuck asked.
"That was the commander. The Council of Twelve has decided to pardon Bintar and make him a member of the council."
"What?!!!"
"I told you so," Balmer cackled gleefully.
"We are so screwed!!!!" the fearless warriors wailed.
"For my first order of business I'm going to have the two of you assigned to protect me full time. You two are just going to love working for me!" Bastar laughed maniacally.
The End