Work Text:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Kitchen Helpers
By Jen lmr
Date: March 2001
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Rating: NC-17
Category: Slash
Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo
Feedback: jennylmr@yahoo.com
Summary: A kitchen revenge snippet. Can you tell I thought this one up while cooking dinner yesterday?
Apollo walked into his quarters and heard noises coming from the kitchen. Starbuck was supposed to come over tonight so he was sure it was him. Besides, as long as they've known each other he could always sense his friend's presence.
He worried that he couldn't smell any odors of food wafting about. He knew for a fact that Starbuck wasn't much of a cook. 'Sagan, I can just imagine what a mess the kitchen is,' he groaned inwardly.
Upon entering the kitchen he found his lover sitting cross-legged on the kitchen table surrounded by various kitchen items and wearing a very evil grin.
"What are you doing?" Apollo could only stare at him.
"Cooking up a surprise for you," Starbuck grinned at him like a shark.
"Then how come you're just sitting on the table?"
"I was waiting for you."
"How come there isn't anything cooking?"
"Oh, there will be," Starbuck smirked.
"Huh?"
"You remember the other night when you tortured me over and over again with that cock-ring named Rita and those other sex toys you thought it would be so funny to name?"
Gulp. "Yeah?" Apollo said nervously.
"Well, I have a few things here that I thought would be fun to name also and I'm *going* to introduce you to them."
Apollo looked at the items on the table. "A wooden spoon?"
"I call her Rita 2. She's going to hurt you. Bad."
"A rolling pin? What are you going to do with a rolling pin?"
"That's Becky. I call her that because she's good at smoothing things out. I don't think that's what I'll use her for this time though. Hahahaha!"
"And the bottle of cooking oil?"
"That's Jade. I'm sure you can figure out what I'm going to use her for."
Apollo narrowed his eyes. "Please don't tell me thats an eggbeater over there?!" Apollo looked alarmed.
"That's Betty. You wouldn't believe the things she wants to do to you."
"Starbuck, I really don't think..." Apollo started nervously.
"That's good," Starbuck interrupted. "Don't think, just strip and get over here."
"Couldn't we just have a nice bottle of ambrosa and go in the bedchamber?" the Captain offered hopefully.
"No. Fair is fair. Now strip or I'm never letting you use any of your toys on me ever again," Starbuck glared at him, his arms folded across his chest.
Apollo began to slowly strip. "Aren't you going to take your clothes off?"
"Not just yet. I will when I'm ready."
The dark-haired man finished stripping and looked at his lover expectantly.
"I think I'll introduce you to Rita 2 first. I'm pretty sure you can figure out what she's for. Bend over the table."
Apollo let out a sigh and reluctantly complied. He couldn't believe he was actually getting hard under these circumstances.
"Oops, I almost forgot." The blond left the room and returned a moment later. "I wouldn't want Rita 2 to get lonely," he smirked as he slipped Rita 1 the cock-ring around the base of his lover's cock.
"Hey! That's not fair! Rita 1 belongs to me!" Apollo complained.
"Then its only appropriate that you get to try her out personally," Starbuck giggled as he gave his lover's erect penis a little tweak.
"Starbuck, I'm warning you..." the Captain threatened.
WHACK!
"Yeaowch!"
Starbuck snickered, "I told you that Rita 2 was going to hurt you." He then proceeded to turn his lover's buttocks and thighs bright crimson. When he was finished he leaned down and gave his lovers balls a 'raspberry'.
Apollo nearly lept off of the table at the sensation of his lover's lips and tongue on his over-sensitized flesh.
"Now to introduce you to Jade and Becky." The blond oiled his lover's hole liberally, inserting several fingers and wiggling them, teasing the other man's prostate mercilessly.
"Starbuck! Please!" the dark-haired man wailed pitifully.
The blond removed his fingers and inserted Becky. Once Becky was inside his lover as far as she could safely go, Starbuck began to twirl her.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Starbuck!"
After torturing his lover for several more centons he finally removed Becky.
Apollo stood up and turned to face the blond. "Please, can I come now?" he whined.
"Not just yet. I haven't introduced you to Betty yet," Starbuck said with a malicious grin. He picked up the eggbeater and began spinning the handle.