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Starbuck's Secret
By Jen lmr

Date: March 2001
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Rating:  NC-17
Category: Slash
Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo
Feedback: jennylmr@yahoo.com

Notes: My second punishment fic for mom. Thanks to Betty for giving me the idea to put this little spin on the plot.

Summary: A secret from Starbuck's past comes back to haunt him.

Starbuck sat in the Recreation Center watching Boxey play a game with the other children. He didn't admit it very often to anyone but he really did enjoy spending time with him. Since Apollo was always so overworked the blond Lieutenant often volunteered to take Boxey off of his hands for a few centars so that his friend and now lover could catch up on the never-ending reports he always was having to turn in.

This was one of those times.

He knew Apollo had had his reservations at first about what sort of influence Starbuck would be on Boxey. But soon the Captain realized that when it came to the boy the Lieutenant was the picture of responsibility.

The boy. Now there was another thing. It hadn't become a problem yet, but Starbuck feared it soon would be. Not only would it be the end of his and Apollo's relationship, but possibly the end of his career.

He reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out the note someone had left under his pillow three days ago. In large letters that were obviously printed sloppily to disguise the sender's handwriting, it said:

I KNOW YOUR SECRET.

The following day he found a note tucked inside of his helmet. It read simply:

SERINA

Then, yesterday he received another note, this one was stuffed in through one of the vent slats in his locker. This one contained only a single word also:

BOXEY

Up until then, Starbuck had been trying to convince himself that this was all a prank. Someone had just been trying to toy with him. Now after this last note, he knew with a deep sense of foreboding that someone really did know his secret.

He looked again over at Boxey. The boy saw him and waved cheerfully at him before resuming his game.

Brooding over this new and unwelcome development he thought back over the yahrens. Part of him wanted to curse his youthful stupidity and another part of him wanted to rail at the universe at the injustices he'd been forced to endure already in his short life.

It seemed so long ago now. The only thing that had mattered to him at that time was getting away from that hellish orphanage. Finally his prayers were answered and he was accepted into the Colonial Military Academy. All he had to do was keep his grades up, work hard, and then someday he would become a Colonial Warrior. After that, life would be so good. Simple. Right?

To be fair, his life was good. His best friend in life was now also his lover. He was now not only a Colonial Warrior but an officer as well. There wasn't anything lacking from his life that he had cause to complain about. In fact, he was doing better than most people in the fleet. Until now.

The thing was, after he'd been accepted to the academy things weren't simple. Not simple at all. His limited scholarship didn't cover his expenses. Expenses that had to be met in order for him to stay at the academy. Getting a job was easier said than done. The few low-wage jobs he did qualify for he would have had to practically fight tooth and nail for. There were alot of other struggling students at the academy.

In the end, none of those jobs would have covered all of his expenses and allowed him enough time to study and pass his classes anyway. He got by on his charm for a little while but he could see that it was only a temporary solution.

The answer came to him in the form of a fellow student that he knew on a casual basis. Rafe was his name. Starbuck knew for a fact that Rafe was also an orphan and in the same situation as himself. Only Rafe didn't seem to have any troubles with money at all. In fact, he always seemed to have extra spending money.

One evening Rafe invited Starbuck to a private party with him. Never one to turn down a party, the blond eagerly accepted. The two cadets arrived at a fancy house in a ritzy neighborhood.

Starbuck whistled his appreciation. "You sure do have classy friends."

"Actually, their not exactly my friends."

The blond gave him a puzzled look. "They're not?"

"No. Their more like business associates. Clients, in fact."

"You're not dealing in drugs, are you?" Starbuck narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"No, no. Nothing like that. You see, I'm a gigolo," Rafe explained. "The guy I usually bring with me couldn't make it tonight. I figured you could use the extra money..."

Starbuck stared at him for long moments, his mind working frantically. Finally, he said, "Alright, lets go."

After that he attended parties with Rafe on a regular basis. It was at one of those parties where he first met Serina. She was a spoiled girl from a wealthy family and she always had money to burn. He continued seeing her professionally on a regular basis right up until he graduated from the academy. She gave him a fairly generous amount of cubits and wished him all the best on the day he'd told her he was leaving Caprica.

That was the last time her saw her until after the destruction when she showed up on Apollo's arm. Starbuck was horrified. He and Apollo had been growing closer and closer and he'd had hopes that their relationship would blossom into more than friendship.

Now it seemed that Serina had set her sights on Apollo to be her husband and a father to her son. If that wasn't enough, she seemed to sense Starbuck's true feelings towards his wingmate.

One day she made a special point of getting him alone. "I know you're not happy about the relationship that Apollo and I have but you'd better learn to deal with it," she hissed. "You wouldn't want your *good* buddy finding out about your past *extra-curricular* activities, now would you?"

Starbuck gaped at her. "You're as guilty as I am!"

"I don't think so," she sneered. "Its your word against mine. Believe me, I have much more credibility than you. Besides, the scandal will ruin your promising career, not to mention how it will affect your son."

"My son?"

"Yeah. Boxey. Do the math," she said snidely.

"How come you never told me?" Starbuck said in a shocked voice.

"Do you think I want people knowing that Boxey's father is nothing but a common whore? Nothing but a piece of orphan trash? Ha! That'd be the day!"

"I don't believe this!" the Lieutenant stormed. "What kind of a monster are you?"

"The kind that's going to be sealed to your *best* friend, that's what kind. Now do yourself a favor and *stay out of my way*!"

Starbuck could only stare after her miserably as she walked away.

*****

That was three yahrens ago. While he never would have wished Serina dead, he couldn't say that he missed her.

Boxey came over to him after he'd finished his game. "Something wrong, Uncle Starbuck?"

"No, kid, I'm fine. Why?" Starbuck replied, quickly stuffing the note back into his jacket pocket.

"You looked upset about something."

"No, I'm just tired I guess. We'd better get going now. Your dad will be wondering where we are."

"I don't think he'll be worried."

"Just the same, we better go."

Boxey reluctantly agreed and the two of them headed back to Apollo's quarters. When they arrived Apollo had finished up his reports and was lying back on the longseat watching the IFB.

"Been goofing off in our absence, have you?" the blond teased.

"Yeah, right," Apollo smirked. "I've been sitting here for all of five centons." He moved to get off of the longseat. "Come on, Boxey I'd better get you tucked into bed."

"Can't Uncle Starbuck do it?" the boy asked.

"Fine by me," Apollo shrugged and sat back down. Since Starbuck had moved in less than a sectar ago, Boxey often preferred to have his beloved 'Uncle Starbuck' tuck him in and read him a story.

When Starbuck returned after getting Boxey settled in, Apollo stood and wrapped his lover in a warm embrace. "This is my favorite part of the day," he murmured.

"Mmmmm. Mine too."

The Captain guided his Lieutenant gently into the bedchamber and leisurely stripped him of his clothes. He just loved undressing Starbuck. It felt just like unwrapping a present. While his naked wingmate reclined on the bed the dark-haired warrior removed his own clothes at a much more hurried pace.

Lying next to his lover on the bed at last, he took his time caressing the hard planes of the blond's body with both his hands and mouth. He thrilled to the sounds of the breathless gasps his touches were invoking.

With a molten look in his green eyes his bent downwards and took his love's member into his hot mouth. Starbuck would have bucked up off of the bed at the sensation if Apollo's strong hands hadn't been holding his hips down. He began a sucking rhythm and followed it up with teasing licks and nibbles. He just loved the way the blond writhed in pleasure as he brought him to the brink of ecstasy.

Starbuck let out a loud protest when the sizzling heat from his lover's talented mouth was removed from his straining erection. He was silenced by a blistering assault on his mouth. Upon feeling a well-lubed finger probing his entrance, he arched upwards into his lover's hand. He was rewarded by the addition of two more of the tantalizing digits. He shuddered with desire as the fingers began to move inside of him.

After several centons of this exquisite torture, the blond was mindlessly begging, "Pleasefrackmepleasefrackmepleasefrackmepleasefrackme!"

Apollo happily obliged and penetrated his love in one smooth thrust. Within centons his pulsing organ was pounding into his partner's opening with a maddening intensity.

Starbuck shrieked his name as waves of pleasure finally drove him over the edge, his seed spilling hotly between the two men's bodies. Apollo felt his own orgasm welling up within him as the walls his partner's anus contracted around him. With a final thrust his essence poured out of him and deep into his lover's bowels.

Exhausted and extremely sated they curled up against each other and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

*****

The next morning as Starbuck was dressing he saw  the note that he had been looking at the day before lying on the floor next to his jacket. Realizing that it must have fallen out when Apollo had tossed the jacket onto the chair last night, he silently thanked Sagan that his lover had been too distracted to notice.

He hurriedly picked it up, glanced at it and froze. This wasn't the same note that he'd been looking at yesterday.

With a sinking feeling he read the new note.

IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR SECRET TO GET OUT, LEAVE 25 CUBITS AND A SPACE MONSTERS VIDEO GAME IN STORAGE UNIT 145 ON ALPHA DECK

Starbuck read the note over and over again. 'Twenty-five cubits? A video game? I'm obviously dealing with a very disturbed individual here.' Starbuck shook his head. 'Well, I guess I have no choice but to go along with whatever this person says. There's no telling what they'll do if I don't.'

After he returned from patrol that day he told his lover that he had some errands to run and that he'd meet him at home later. He took a shuttle over to the Merchant Ship and bought the specified video game. Upon returning to the Galactica he breathed a sigh of relief after depositing the cubits and the game in the storage unit as instructed.

Hoping to catch whoever was sending the notes, he hid around a corner and waited. When no one showed up after over a centar, he couldn't wait any longer. The last thing he needed was for Apollo to get suspicious.

When he arrived home, the lights were dimmed low and the table was set up for a romantic dinner.

"What's the occasion?" Starbuck asked as his lover came into the room.

Apollo pulled him into an embrace and kissed him soundly before answering. "Boxey's spending the night at a friends."

"Mmmm. I like the way you think."

After a leisurely dinner and several energetic rounds of lovemaking Starbuck had forgotten all about the disturbing events earlier in the day.

The next morning after he had dressed, however, he felt a moment of dread when he reached for his jacket. He carefully checked the pockets and was relieved to find that there wasn't anything in them that hadn't been there yesterday.

That evening after the evening meal, he and Apollo dropped Boxey off at Athena's so they could practice for their upcoming triad match.

When he opened his bag of gear, Starbuck's stomach sank. Sitting directly on top of his triad uniform was another note, this one very similar to the last one.

IF YOU DON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW YOUR SECRET, LEAVE 25 CUBITS AND A BOX OF CHOCO MUSHIES IN STORAGE UNIT 216 ON BETA DECK

'A box of choco mushies? What kind of a nut am I dealing with?!' Starbuck thought as he quickly shoved to note into the bottom of his bag and glanced over to make sure Apollo hadn't noticed anything amiss.

The Captain had just finished stripping and looked over at his still fully dressed partner questioningly. "You planning on playing or not?"

"Oh. Yeah. I just... I was just admiring the view." The blond gave him a winning smile.

"You can admire it later. We only have the court reserved for a centar," his lover admonished.

"Right." Starbuck began hurriedly changing into his triad gear, trying to force his worried thoughts about the blackmailer out of his mind.

Practice didn't go too well. The Lieutenant's mind kept wandering back to the notes.

Back in the change room, Apollo turned to him with a concerned look. "Is something bothering you? I felt like I was playing all by myself out there."

"No. I guess I'm just tired," the blond offered lamely.

"Mmmhmm. If there was something bothering you, you'd tell me, right?" Green eyes looked at his partner searchingly.

"Of course," Starbuck assured him. "Everybody's entitled to an off day every now and then, you know."

"Yeah, well, why don't you go on home. I'll go pick up Boxey."

"Sounds good to me."

They both finished changing and headed out into the corridor. Apollo gave his lover a quick kiss and told him he'd meet him at home. Starbuck watched him turn the corner and then made a quick trip to pick up a box of choco mushies and then drop them and the cubits off in the storage unit on Beta deck.

As soon as he got back to their quarters he flipped the vid screen on to the IFB and tried to adopt a casual pose on the longseat. He'd only made it home a scant few centons before Boxey and Apollo arrived.

*****

The next day came and went with no new notes. Starbuck thought it would probably be too much to hope for that this was the end of it. Crazy people like the one who'd been sending him those notes didn't just go away.

Why was it that every time he was happy, something terrible happened? He just couldn't stand to lose Apollo. He just couldn't. There was also Boxey to consider. Sagan knew that he loved the boy. Even though he couldn't tell anybody the truth about him being Boxey's biological father, he still got to live with him.

He hadn't just taken Serina's word for it either. Starbuck was sure that he couldn't have been the only man she'd been sleeping with at the time. So he sneaked a sample of Boxey's blood out of the life center and went to an independent lab that would perform the test on a strictly confidential basis for the right amount of money. At the time he had selfishly hoped that it would turn out the Serina was lying. She wasn't.

*****

Another day passed uneventfully and Starbuck felt himself beginning to relax. He knew there was no reason he should feel that way, but it felt good not to be in a constant state of worry.

Tonight Apollo was working late on a project for Colonel Tigh and Boxey was over at a friends for the evening. Starbuck took the opportunity to straighten up their quarters. His lover was such a neat freak, but the benefits of living with the person he loved most in life far outweighed a few annoying habits.

He was just putting some of Boxey's clothes away when he opened one of the dresser drawers and made a startling discovery. Confusion turned to shock and then to horror. There in the drawer was a half-eaten box of choco mushies, a Space Monster video game, and what looked to be around fifty cubits.

Taking a few steps backwards he collapsed onto the bed. He was still sitting there with a stunned expression on his face when Boxey came bounding into the room. "I'm home!" When the boy saw the open drawer and the look on Starbuck's face he froze.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Starbuck asked in a hoarse voice.

"Why? I thought you liked keeping secrets," the boy answered in a bitter voice.

"You've been sending the notes." It was a statement, not a question.

"I found a box of mom's old things when I was helping Dad clean out his closet to make room for your things. I know that your my real father."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"It's complicated. I didn't even know until I saw your mother again after the colonies were destroyed. So much time had passed... so many things had happened..."

"So? You still could have told me! Didn't you want me?" Boxey's voice was angry but his eyes were filling with tears.

"Of course I did. I *do* want you. But there were other people to consider..."

"I guess I wasn't one of them, was I?" Accusing eyes glared at him.

"Yes, you were! Haven't I always been around? Haven't you been happy with Apollo?"

Boxey said nothing but some of the anger left his face.

"Why the notes, Boxey?"

"I wanted to make you pay," he mumbled.

"Did it make you feel any better?"

"No."

"Think you can ever forgive me for not telling you?" Blue eyes looked at the boy pleadingly.

Boxey stared at the floor for long moments before rushing forward and throwing his arms around the man on the bed, sobbing softly onto his shoulder.

"What's the matter with Boxey?" Apollo's worried voice sounded from the doorway.

Starbuck looked at his lover nervously. "I guess the three of us need to have a little talk."

Apollo sat down on the bed with them and Starbuck told him the story. He left out the part about him having been a gigolo because he didn't think that Boxey needed that particular piece of information. He also omitted the part where Serina had threatened him.

The Captain seemed to take all of this information in stride. Starbuck was puzzled by his attitude and vowed to himself to ask him about it when they were alone. If Apollo ever wanted to be alone with him again, that is.

They all had a long talk and assured Boxey that everything was going to be alright. After they finally tucked the exhausted boy into bed the two men silently went out into the main living area.

"Apollo, I..." Starbuck began.

The other man held up his hand. "I already knew," he said simply.

The Lieutenant jaw dropped open. "You did?"

"That box of Serina's things was in *my* closet. Who do you think packed her things up?"

"But... why?" Starbuck was beyond confused.

"Why didn't I say anything? I figured you and Serina both must have had your own reasons for not telling me, or anyone else for that matter."

"Yes, but..."

"Shortly after she passed away I found some papers and a journal that she'd had hidden away. Apparently she wasn't the woman I had thought she was."

"Apparently I'm not the person you thought I was either," the blond said sadly.

"Starbuck, I had suspected for yahrens the kind of work you were doing to put yourself through the academy. I didn't want to see it at the time, but in a way I've always known."

"And you still... wanted me?"

"I still *do* want you. Starbuck, I love you. Nothing could ever change that." Green eyes looked deeply into teary blue eyes.

"Oh Pol, I don't know what to say." The blond's voice was choked with emotion.

"You could tell me that you love me too," Apollo coached.

Starbuck threw his arms around his love. "I love you. I love you. I love you!" he vowed passionately.

The two warriors made tender love late into the night, reaffirming their bond with each other. Savoring every moment. Their bodies glistening with sweat. Hands treasuring every centimeter of flesh. Mouths meeting, tongues seeking each other out and dueling in an ancient rhythm.

Apollo entered his love slowly from behind, reveling in the feel of his hard member entering his partners tight hole. The inner walls closing in around his organ greedily. He pushed in and out at a maddeningly slow pace. Reaching forward he look  his lover's weeping erection in his hand and began pumping it time with his thrusts.

Starbuck whimpering with need, begged the dark-haired man, "Please! Faster! Faster!"

His own building desire soon forced him to speed up the pace and before long he found himself erupting deep within his love. With a loud cry his lover achieved his own release moments later, spraying the sheets with streams of creamy wetness.

As the two lovers lay snuggled up together afterwards, Apollo spoke hesitantly, "Starbuck, would you seal with me?"

"What?" The blond raised his head up in surprise.

Apollo looked at him shyly. "You heard me."

"This isn't because of Boxey, is it?"

The Captain raked his gaze up and down his lover's body hungrily. "Do you even need to ask that?"

Starbuck flushed. "I suppose not."

"So are you planning to give me an answer?"

"The answer is yes. Did you even need to ask?" He enveloped his lover in a passionate embrace and proceeded to kiss him senseless.

The End