Chapter Text
Tony- I am not coming back. You need to choose. Jeanne
Those words kept floating through Tony’s mind as he tried not to concentrate on the letter that was burning a hole in his pocket. He had been in the office since early that morning. He couldn’t stay in their apartment; the reminders were too fresh, too raw.
Gibbs entered the bullpen, but did not make his presence known. He liked to sneak up on his agents and observe them unnoticed. It marveled him how they never noticed he was there until it was too late. The head slap was a valuable tool in his arsenal, but he had a feeling that a head slap was not going to be enough for DiNozzo. This undercover assignment had burned him badly. ‘Damn Director Shepherd,’ he thought viscously. He wanted her job, better yet, her head on a platter for what she did to Tony. He realized that none of this would help Tony.
Ziva and McGee had arrived while Tony was pretending to work. Sharing a look, they went to their desks.“Ziva, have you ever pretended to be in love for a case before?” Tim asked curiously.
“Yes, McGee,” Ziva replied. “I have had relations with a suspect to solve a case.”
Tim was staring at Tony when he pointedly said, “But you’ve been smart enough not to fall in love?”
“Yes, never fall in love with the enemy,” she cautiously replied. She could not believe that McGee was baiting Tony like this.
“Maybe the director should have used me instead of DiNozzo; I would have kept a definite line between work and love. Well at least it all worked out for the best, right Tony.” McGee smirked waiting for Tony’s snappy comeback.Tony’s eyes narrowed as he looked McGee over.
"You won't know what you would do until you are in that situation Tim,” purposefully not using the younger man’s nickname and strode to the elevator without another look back.McGee blanched at the sight of Tony disappearing. He hadn’t meant to force him to leave; he wanted things back to normal. He wanted the old DiNozzo back, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. Gibbs was going to kill him.
“McGee!” Gibbs barked as he rounded the corner. “What the hell to you say to DiNozzo that made him run out of here so fast?”
“I…I…I…” McGee stammered. He hated the fact that his boss could get to him so badly. “Ziva and I were just talking, and Tony may have taken the conversation out of context…”
“Out of context, McGee, out of context…” Gibbs snarled going toe to toe with his junior agent. “Are you sure, you want that to be your answer.”
“I baited Tony,” McGee started. “I was hoping to snap him out of his funk.”
“This is not something that you can ‘snap him out of’ McGee,” Gibbs snapped. “If you have caused him any harm, McGee…” He trailed off letting McGee fester with the unfinished thought. “Go see Abby!”McGee scurried off not wanting to piss the Boss off any more than he already had. Gibbs grabbed his phone and turned to the elevator.“I’ll be back, David,” Gibbs called back. “Call if you need anything.”
Tony had gotten into the elevator knowing that he couldn’t stay at NCIS, not when McGee thought that he was weak. Maybe he was better off leaving and finding Jeanne, he could be happy. He thought about Jeanne all the way back to the apartment.
Gibbs had not found him at his place, and there were no clues there to where his missing agent might be. He picked up the phone and dialed.
“David.”
“Ziva, I can’t find DiNozzo,” Gibbs stated. “Do you have any idea where he might be?
“You have checked his apartment?” She asked.
“Yes!” he barked.
“Have you checked hers?” Ziva asked. “We went back there after he returned from his mission. He found a letter and asked me to leave.”
“Where is it,” He asked shortly, his mind on this letter DiNozzo received. He took down the address that Ziva gave him and spun the car around.
“Thank you, Ziva.”
Tony’s suitcases were packed and he was in the living room when he heard the knock on the door. Ignoring it, he wasn’t expecting anyone and anyone that would happen to show up wasn’t someone he wanted to deal with. Tony continued to look around the apartment, the place where he had spent time, and made memories with Jeanne.He was so engrossed in his memories that he didn’t hear the door lock click open. Gibbs stood in the doorway for a moment watching his senior agent, the pain and sadness evident on his face.Walking into the apartment, Gibbs stood behind his senior agent placing his hand on his shoulder.
“Going somewhere, Tony?” He asked trying not to alarm the younger agent; he needed Tony to listen to him, not run from him.Tony gazed up at his boss, his mentor, unable to keep his mask in place.
“I really loved her, boss. I feel like she took this huge part of me with her when she left.”
“I know, Tony,” Gibbs replied softly, stepping forward. “I know what it is like to love deeply, and lose it.”
Tony nodded, not able to find his voice as tears welled in his eyes. Tears for Jeanne, tears for the life they could have had, tears for the life he should have had. Gibbs took him gently in his arms and rocked him back and forth like he would have Kelly when she was upset.
“You have a family here, one that loves you, Tony.” Gibbs whispered softly as he pulled him to the couch. “All of us will be here for you, for whatever you need.”
Tony pulled back slightly and they locked eyes and he made his decision, his decision to choose family over love. In that moment he realized that in the end family is the only thing that matters.