Chapter Text
　
Author's Notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
　
　
Dean Bendis had a rough week, rough past and was dealt the worst hand in life, everything was wrong and so many ways. Sometime’s he’ll even think that before Carter found him he was probably was better off. Cause there wasn’t no one to disappoint . He’d been okay with being a loser, he’d been okay with being alone, simply because the loneliness was unconditional.
　
He hated it when he disappointed carter those blue angry eyes looking into his emotionless ones . He hated it worst when cater make him stay and the most dangerous places it made him feel like he didn’t care if he got killed . All Carter wanted was the job to be done and nothing more and noting less .
　
His job . Deans job the job that haunted him almost every second of his life .
　
That’s why he drank , drank till his mine couldn’t even function to turn a door knob but that didn’t even work sometimes . He’ll even hang out with Jamie not just to sleep with her, but to talk she got him like most people didn’t get him .
Jamie got him , got why he did what he did she didn’t care about who he shot at that day cause she shot at the same person . That’s what made the sex so much better . But he knew he couldn’t have a real relationship with Jamie, Jamie was unstable and she couldn’t handle the littlest things . Not that Jamie was the main cause why they couldn’t have relationship “no” it was because Dean couldn’t love anyone. Not cause he couldn’t because he didn’t want to .
　
Because he didn’t want to disappoint any one .
　
That’s why he was “ok” when he went to Jamie house and she was back with her boyfriend . It didn’t bother him cause they had nothing more then sex, nothing more and nothing less . It made have not seemed that way when he saw the man and her bed, But that was a weak moment .
Somehow he felt that he disappointed his self cause he saw it coming and he wished he could have prepared his self better for it.
　
Dean tells himself it was a weak moment .
　
He seemed like he been having to many of them and worst part was it wasn’t because of Jamie, it had nothing to do with Jamie. It was Carter, It was carter that made him feel like an idiot for not changing his clothes the next day when he called him out about it .
　
Carter that made him shift his weight impatiently from foot to foot cause he asked him have he eating anything that day or the day before .
And not even Dean could deny him when he came over with bag of groceries, told him to “stop spending his money on beer and buy some food” . Because Carter is a cop. Carter takes all those moments and stocks them up in his head, and later, when Dean denies them, he puts them out, like a cop puts out his evidence.
　
But those were weak moment’s . He tries to pretend those game he plays with carter are not weak moments, but they are .
　
He hated Carter for doing that to him, he hated playing cat and mouse games especially when Carter was always the cat