Work Text:
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Emergency Board Meeting
Muse of Fanfic II
by Scorpio
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One by one the various Gods and Goddesses popped into the great big executive conference room designed specifically for board meetings at Olympus Inc. The decor was reminiscent of the 'good old days' with the dark green marble title floor and the ancient Grecian pottery tastefully displayed on various carved pedestals. The table was a long thin marble topped affair that could seat the entire board comfortably and was lined with large padded leather chairs. The lighting was subdued throughout the room with low intensity spot lights directed at the table's surface.
As the Board Members slowly drifted in and found their seats, Neena bustled about with a bright smile and a cheery "Hello" for each of them as she wheeled her little metal serving cart around the table and provided them each with a glass of water and whatever was their normal standing order.
Hades and Ares needed ashtrays for their cigars...although Neena felt they only smoked them here to upset Demeter and Artemis. Speaking of Demeter, she needed a bowl of sunflower seeds...so that she could fling the shells are various people. Aphrodite wanted little chocolates on hand and Apollo and Hermes both enjoyed double mocha lattes with sprinkles. Poseidon always wanted a little square of baklava and Athena never wanted anything. Artemis liked a dish of gum-balls, but Neena suspected it was only so she could spill them over, watch them roll away and then enjoy hunting them all down. Hephaistos just wanted a frosty beer.
Then, food and drinks served, Neena rolled her cart out of the meeting room and handed it off to one of her assistants even as she snatched up an armful of leather folders embossed with the Olympus Inc symbol.
ZEUS: Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I realize that unexpected and unscheduled meetings often create problems with all of your hectic schedules, however, this situation is something that requires all of your input.
With that, Zeus sat back down and turned the floor over to his wife. Neena silently walked around the edge of the table handing each God and Goddess one of the folders.
HERA: As you can see if you open the binders that Neena is passing around, the Board Members of Inspirations Ltd have all threatened to go on Strike if we do not address their concerns in a timely fashion.
Instantly, every head swiveled and all eyes locked onto Apollo.
APOLLO: Hey, don't look at me like that. I did *not* tell the Muses to Strike. I have been trying for over the last five or so years to appease them and contain this problem, but it keeps growing every year.
Apollo scowled and shook his head.
APOLLO: The main thing is, I can honestly tell you that their complaints are *very* legitimate. This isn't just some whim of theirs. The situation is balanced on a razors edge and *something* must be done.
DEMETER: Oh? And just what *is* this delicate situation?
She rolled her eyes and flicked a sunflower seed shell at Hades.
DEMETER: *Please* don't tell me it's another "Home Alone" movie!
Apollo just scowled at her while Hades rolled his eyes and lit up his cigar. He blew of stream of the tangy smoke directly at her face.
HERA: No, dear. It's not that. If you'll all look at form 23-451J/13 you'll see that it's a request for help with a new art-form that's sprung into being in the mortal world.
The God of Messengers groaned.
HERMES: Is this about all those freaky fangirls?
Apollo nodded, but everyone else looked confused. Artemis tried to tip over her bowl of gum-balls, but Athena smacked her hand first.
HERMES: I can see why the Muses need help with them. Those crazy mortals use the Internet as the medium of their art and they eat up a *lot* of bandwidth. My system designers and graphic artists are kept pretty busy by them. They send a *lot* of work my way. I had to install a whole separate server...just for the Slashers.
Everyone appeared to be lost, but it was Aphrodite who wrinkled up her nose and went "Ewww".
APHRODITE: Ewww. Slashers? That so sounds like something Ares and his lot would play with. But the Muses? They're normally such sweet girls.
APOLLO: It's not what you think, sis. This art-form is basically a bunch of people who write fiction stories based on previously created or copywrited characters such as people from tv shows, movies and books. The fanfic writers often say that they are "fixing" the stuff that should never have happened to the characters, or they write stories that they think would be fun or enlightening or whatever. "Slashers" are those that write stories where the two romantic leads are of the same sex. You'd like 'em, Dite.
Apollo shrugged and looked helpless. Demeter flicked another sunflower seed at Hades and ignored the Sun God.
APOLLO: It's just that there's a *lot* of them and the numbers keep growing. At first, it was only one or two fandoms. A few conventions and a few zines with stories. Now? Conventions all year long all around the globe. Dozens and dozens of printed zines, hundreds of websites and hundreds of computer mailing lists. Then, let's not forget the official "fan merchandise" that a
person can by at the store or through specialty catalogs.
Apollo nodded his head towards Hermes. The God of Messengers quickly wiped the foamy latte mustache from his face when he noticed everyone turn to look at him
APOLLO: Fast Track Communications gets a lot of business through the fanfic subculture because of their heavy use of the Internet for the distribution of their art-form. His subsidiary company, Commercial Viability's Ltd also gets a lot of work from the "official" fan merchandise.
Hermes nodded his head and grinned. The steam from his mocha latte began to shape itself into the form of little dollar signs.
HERMES: It's a huge business with a high profit margin. Advertising and marketing, shipping and receiving, wholesalers and retailers...they all get a workout. The bigger the splash a movie makes, the bigger the post production fan merchandise craze is.
Ares made a snort and waved a hand as if to brush it all aside as no big deal.
ARES: How big could it be?They're just *movies*!
Hermes speared him with a look.
HERMES: Two words for you pal. Star. Wars.
Ares gave a little growl and scowled even as he leaned forward to point at Hermes with his unlit cigar.
ARES: Hey! I only ordered *two* cases of those lightsaber things, so back off!
After a brief pause in which everyone stared at Ares with mild shock, titters and snickers broke out across the room. Realizing that everyone was giggling over the big bad God of War buying a bunch of toys, Ares sat back in his chair with a pout, stuffed his cigar in his face and lit it up. He puffed tobacco scented smoke at everyone in reach.
ARTEMIS: Look, if these writer people are getting to be too much, while don't I just send some of my girls to go hunt them down. Once we actually *find* them...I don't know, we could maybe hit 'em with a spell to slow 'em down. Or to redirect their energy.
APOLLO: Actually, you might not want to do that. There's a whole group of these fanfic writers out there that focus on *us*. Granted, it's mostly due to those two hideously done parodies of our history.
Everyone scowled. Apollo threw up his hands in surrender as gum-balls, chocolate drops, sunflower seed shells and twin puffs of cigar smoke were aimed his way.
APOLLO: I know, I know. Clio has *promised* that she'll never go out drinking with Dionysos and Bacchus before work again. Just be glad that Thalia was able to salvage them as comedies and turned them into something that not even the blindest of mortals believed as truth.
Slightly mollified, the group stopped glaring death rays at the Sun God.
APOLLO: Anyway, a group of fanfic writers took up the task of writing stories for these two shows. *They* tend to focus on *us* and not the little annoying mortals. While they are rarely accurate, they *have* managed to salvage Ares' reputation and made great inroads in establishing Dite as more than just a flighty airhead.
ARES: So...stopping them from doing this...whatever their doing would only hurt us in the long run?
Apollo paused in thought and then nodded his head.
HERA: That's why we called you all here today. Something needs to be done. The Muses are already overburdened with the demands of the modern world and a new art-form is simply not something that they can handle. Apollo has already increased their number of assistants in the form of Elementals, Naiads and even part-time Oceanids...but as you all know, there is only so much an assistant can do.
Everyone exchanged blank looks of confusion for long moments until Athena finally sighed and shook her head.
ATHENA: It's simple really. Assistants do take off some of the burden, true. But the original orders have to come from a God or Goddess and the Muses simply don't have enough time to put in to make those orders. Plus, the actual inspiration can only come from a divine being. So...make a new Muse. One that can be in charge of this new art-form. They can be tasked with helping it grow and develop in the proper way.
Everyone turned to look at her and blinked. Except for Hera who was now glaring with a thunderous look on her face. Zeus' blank look soon shifted into one of lecherous anticipation.
ZEUS: Okay. That sounds like a viable option. Anyone opposed?
Hera raised her hand.
ZEUS: All for Athena's idea?
Everyone except Hera raised their hand.
ZEUS: Good. Glad that's settled. I'll go...have a talk with Mnemosyne and see if we can't get us another Muse for Inspirations Ltd. Meeting adjourned.
With a few last titters and snickers and one muttered comment about Ares' penchant for glow-in-the-dark humming phallic symbols, all of the Gods and Goddesses began to pop out one by one. When Hera left, the flare of power sent up a ringing in the ears of all still present and created a mini whirlwind that rearranged everyone's hair styles. Zeus merely sat there smirking, his classic "horn-dog" expression on his face.
With a sigh, Neena walked over and picked up the multi line conference style phone at the center of the table to call down to housekeeping so that the meeting room could be straightened up and aired out.
SCORPIO
[scorpiofic@aol.com]
http://members.tripod.com/sentinel-cat/Scorpio