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Language:
English
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Completed:
2009-07-28
Words:
3,901
Chapters:
2/2
Kudos:
13
Hits:
1,423

Coming Of Age

Summary:

SUMMARY:  "Pinocchio and Hobbes have too much to drink with unwelcome consequences for poor old Hobbes." 

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Notes:

Rated: G.  
The usual disclaimers apply.  No infringement of copyright is intended.  
Feedback to: AlisonMDobell@aol.com

Chapter Text


  

"COMING OF AGE"
A "Harsh Realm" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
*   *   *   *   *

"I can do this, Pinocchio."

Pinocchio ignored him and continued to do his tie in a boston knot. "Sure, now stop squirming."

"I'm not a kid."

"Then don't act like one."

"Why am I the one who has to dress up anyway?"

His friend grinned at him.  "'Cause you're the one getting married, genius."

Hobbes was scowling at him, not amused.  "This is stupid."

He straightened and viewed his handiwork, tweaking the knot to get it centered in the front of Hobbes' white collar.  "No, this is Harsh Realm."

"You should be the one doing this."

Pinocchio made a face.  "No way.  Your idea, Hobbes, not mine."

"What if she goes through with it?"

"Then you'll be married Hobbes."

Hobbes was getting more and more annoyed at his friend.  "I don't *want* to marry Cheryl!"

His friend was grinning openly now.  "Then you shouldn't have proposed, Hobbes.  First rule of engagement.  KEEP YOUR FREEKING MOUTH SHUT!"

"I was drunk."

He chuckled.  "So was I but you don't see me proposing and humming the freeking wedding march."

Hobbes lowered his voice and leaned close to his best friend.  "Look, it isn't too late to get out of here."

His friend shook his head.  "Uh uh, too late Hobbes.  Cheryl's old man has the church surrounded.  They got guns the size of cannons."

He groaned and put his head in his hands.  "What am I gonna do, Pinocchio?"

Pinocchio put a hand on Hobbes shoulder and leaned in close.  "You put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!"
 
After a few moments Hobbes raised his head.  "I love Sophie, not Cheryl. I can't go through with this."

Pinocchio looked at his friend for a moment then sat on an upturned crate.  They were in the gents' toilet.  Outside could be heard the sounds of the church filling up, raucous laughter punctuating the loud music and occasional swear words.  "I remember when I got hitched to Inga.  The most frightening freeking day of my whole god-damn life.  I don't know how I got through that ceremony, Hobbes."

"But you did because you loved her.  I don't love Cheryl."

Something like pain flickered deep in Pinocchio's eyes but was quickly squashed, like a bug, his feelings slammed back down where the light could never touch them.  "There is a way, Hobbes, but you won't like it..."

"What way?"

"It means being deceitful."

"What would I have to do?"

"Nothing too difficult.......for anyone who isn't Thomas Hobbes."

"For crying out loud Pinocchio, if you've got a plan tell me!"

Pinocchio paused, watching his friend's expression.  "Well, you act like it's the happiest damn day of your freeking life...."

"No way!"

"Hey, moron!  Are you gonna listen or am I wasting my freeking breath?"

Hobbes growled, sighed, then nodded.  His look of defeat almost raised a smile on Pinocchio's face.

"Okay.  Like I said Hobbes you act as if it's the happiest damn day of your life.  Doesn't have to be true.  Remember you're playing a part, okay? All the way through the words you smile, you nod, you make cow eyes at the girl."  Hobbes groaned, getting embarrassed.  He was going to kill Pinocchio.  "Then when the preacher tells you to repeat the words....Do you take Cheryl what's her face to be your lawfully wedded whatever, you say another name..."

"What?"

"Another name."

"What name?"

"How the hell should I know?  Make one up."

"Like what?"

"Christ Hobbes, how the hell did you make it through puberty?"

"I'm not that bad.  I'm nervous."

"Yeah well nervous or not you don't have much time so pay attention.  You say this other name, ANY name but hers, got it?"

Hobbes frowned.  "She'll kill me."

Pinocchio was grinning like a lunatic.  "Yeah, she'll kill you Hobbes but she'll be damned if she'll marry you."

For a moment Hobbes looked at him in stunned silence.

"No woman, Hobbes, no matter how crazy she thinks she is about you likes to hear another woman's name on your lips...."

Hobbes started to smile slowly back at him.

*   *   *   *   *

They lay in a ragged broken heap.  Rain pouring down from the heavens with a vengeance.  Hobbes was sure that his collar bone was broken and his right leg was at a funny angle.  Pinocchio was out cold, his nose spattered all over his face.  Obviously broken.  Hobbes chuckled, sucked in a breath with pain and wondered how many feeking ribs were broken.  He tried to count them as he reviewed his blessings.  His partner slowly groaned, starting to come out of his drunken stupour and feeling the pain returning with the torment of consciousness.  Hobbes laughed, caught his breath painfully, then tried to untangle his limbs.  He could not make it.

Pinocchio opened an eye then shut it quick.  The world spinning and mocking him with a hazy rain filled curtain whose dull light hurt him. "Oooooaaahhh....!"

Hobbes leant forward and kissed his rain soaked brow.

"What the hell was that for, Hobbes?"

"Wanted to thank you."  He mumbled.

His friend growled, feeling severely pissed off.  "What for?"
 
"For saving my freeking life."

A pause.  "You mean we aren't dead?"

"Nope."

"Then how come every part of me hurts?"

"You forgot to duck."

"I did?"

"Yep."

Pinocchio opened his eyes, braving the the hazy light to look at Hobbes. Noticing he seemed to actually be in worse shape than he was.  "If I didn't duck and I feel like this, what the hell happened to you?"

Hobbes was trying not to laugh.  It hurt too damn much.  "Every time Cheryl's dad hit you, you landed on me."

Pinocchio just looked at him for a moment then smirked.  "Yeah?"

"Yeah.  Hurts like hell too."

"Serves you right."

Hobbes paused, wanting to move but not sure he would survive it.  "What do we do now?"

"We wait for Florence."

"What makes you think she'll come?  You know she doesn't approve of you drinking, she'll be furious at the pair of us."

"Yeah,"  Grinned Pinocchio with affection.  "But she won't be able to avoid gloating."

"Florence doesn't gloat."

Pinocchio closed his eyes and groaned.  When he opened them again Florence was looking directly into his.  His heart skipped a crazy little beat.  He could not speak.  She looked at him but did not touch him.  Noticed his nose was broken, his face covered in blood.  He smelt like a brewery and looked like he had fallen in the waste disposal.  Hobbes did not look much better.  A sheepish grin slopped on his face as if it had been dumped there with the morning's trash.

"Hi Florence."

She raised her eyebrows at Hobbes' greeting but did not smile.

"Help us up?"  He asked hopefully.

Florence looked a question at Pinocchio but he said nothing.  She shrugged, turned and helped Hobbes get untangled then gently laid her hands on him healing all his hurts.  As she finished he smiled at her, so grateful and happy to be whole and out of pain.  He looked across at Pinocchio,
watched his struggle just to sit up.  Florence looked at him, waited until he looked up and met her eyes.  That was when Hobbes saw it.  The slow smirk that said he had got exactly what he deserved.  To Hobbes surprise Florence turned and walked off back towards camp, Dexter trotting like a little shadow at her heels.  Hobbes looked down at Pinocchio, stunned.

"I don't believe she did that."

"Believe it, Hobbes."

"But why?  She healed me, why did she leave you?"

Hobbes helped Pinocchio get painfully to his feet.  He really was quite a mess.  "You have to remember Hobbes.  One thing women hate worse than hearing another woman's name on a man's lips, is watching him make the same mistake over and over again and expecting her to pick up all the damn pieces."
 
"If that's true why did Florence heal me?"

"To teach me a lesson, Hobbes."

"A lesson?"

"Yep.  Women forgive Hobbes - sometimes.  But they never *ever* forget."

He watched Pinocchio with concern.  Noting how hard he was finding it to stay upright let alone walk, yet he did not complain.  Seeing Hobbes expression he paused.  "This is self inflicted, Hobbes, which is why I'll get no sympathy from Florence.  When she thinks I've suffered enough, have learnt my lesson, she'll come round.  She'll put me back together again and that will be the end of it but every time I look in her eyes she'll remind me."

Hobbes shook his head.  "God, Pinocchio, you sound like an old married couple."

Pinocchio chuckled softly, groaned, then gratefully accepted Hobbes' helping hand.  For once happy to lean on him.  From the shadows Florence watched.  She had been listening as Pinocchio explained to Hobbes, a gentle smile fashioned on her lips.  She was not really mad at him but neither did she want him to think he could keep doing this without facing any consequences.  Her smile was smug.  She would enjoy healing him later, when he was good and tired and all the bullshit had drained out of him.  When his resistance was low.  She smiled, turned back to camp and tried not to gloat too much.
 

**********    T H E    E N D    **********