Work Text:
"CABIN FEVER"
A "Harsh Realm" short story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
Florence was feeling more and more frustrated and annoyed. It had been building up for weeks but she supposed that if you could not speak, didn't throw tantrums or keep storming off whenever anything upset you, you became invisible. That was how she felt and she was sick of it. Pinocchio had withdrawn into himself again and trying to communicate with Hobbes was more effort than she wanted to expend. If the dog could have talked she would have cut her losses and gone off with Dexter. As it was she was stuck in this painful parody of never-never land with two of the most frustrating lost boys imaginable. If she had to hear another letter to Sophie or suffer Pinocchio's anti-social muttering and griping for another day she just knew she would up and leave. Walk out. Did not matter where. She wandered off, not taking any notice of where she was going. Fueled by temper and the need to create a little space for herself. She slowed down and took several deep breaths, trying to figure out just what it was that made this time different from all the rest. Or was that the whole point? That this was the latest in a long line of irritations? If she had been cooped up in a shed with them for days or weeks on end she would have understood why she was feeling like this. Was it possible to have cabin fever if you didn't have a cabin?
She sat on an old fallen tree trunk and sighed. What were the sisters doing now? Did they ever think of her? Miss her? Sometimes she longed for those simpler times, imagined striking off on her own to find them, beg forgiveness and lose herself in the comforting routine that had once defined not only her life but also who she was. In those days she did not think about what she was doing or try to plot and plan her movements day by day. She knew what her role was, where she fit into the great scheme of things, and there was always someone to do her thinking for her. This was different and that was what scared her. She did not know the rules. Here if she messed up it would be her fault. No ifs, no buts. True, she followed Pinocchio and Hobbes of her own free will. Her choice. If it turned out to be wrong it would be her fault not theirs. She thought about that and realised that was not what was bothering her. Even leaving the sisters was not the root of her frustration. So what was it?
Perhaps it was the small pointless things that marked the rising and setting of their days in Harsh Realm. The one step forward and two steps back kind of progress in an endless procession of days. She was sick of having nothing to show for all the effort, the toil, the sheer drudgery of going up against a system they could never beat. She had left the sisters because she wanted to make a difference. Not simply be there to patch people up after they had tried and failed. But that was what she had done. Tried and failed. Now she had simply had enough. She was worn out, fed up. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek and she sighed.
Hidden in the trees stood Pinocchio, an anxious look on his face. Lines of worry and concern paining him as he watched over her. He had noticed Florence go off, aware that she had things on her mind, but considered she had a right to her privacy so had let her be. When she had not returned half an hour later he had gone looking for her. Worried in case something had happened but not wanting to intrude if she was alright. Now he realised she was more than simply fed up, she was unhappy. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, wondering how much of it was his fault. He was not one for baring his soul or being demonstrative. That was Hobbes. It wasn't his style. He assumed Florence knew how he felt and that should be enough. Now he realised it wasn't and never could be. Relationships were a two way street, made up of give and take. She knew he cared about her but he seldom showed it in anything more tangible than a look or occasional gesture. He could see now how wrong he had been. How much that assumption had hurt her. Unintentionally shutting her out when he should have taken her in. Leaving her outside in the cold rather than sharing the warmth of his fire though she had always given so freely of her own. He did not mean to be unfeeling, uncaring, or cause her pain. It was just that he had built such thick and high walls to protect himself that it had made him less sensitive to other people's need to be let in. He stood for over twenty minutes watching, guarding her space, waiting for some sign to tell him how to proceed. Would she want his company or feel he had taken even this small comfort from her? Then she turned her head slightly and he saw something glisten on her cheek in the frosted moonlight. He sucked in a swift breath, her pain wounding him. He had rarely seen Florence cry and he knew all her moods. It broke his heart to see it now. He simply could not bear it.
Florence looked up, surprised to see Pinocchio walking slowly towards her. He had been pretty noisy before emerging from the trees giving her just enough time to wipe her eyes and pretend she was simply resting. She started to get up as he approached but he put a hand on her shoulder and she sat back down. Then he surprised her. Without speaking he sat next to her and gently folded his arms around her, her head tucking comfortably in the hollow of his throat as he cradled her and rocked her in the fortress of his arms. Holding her close to his heart with all his strength as if she were something precious. She closed her eyes and clung to him, letting the tears fall as he stroked her hair.
<I'm sorry, Florence>
No reply.
<I can be a selfish son of a bitch at times>
She did not look up, did not trust herself to look into those beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes that saw far too much whenever they looked into her own. One look and she knew she would be lost and she was so tired of being lost.
<I'm sorry if I hurt you>
That surprised her enough to make her look up. He looked so sad, so solemn, that she wanted to wipe the tortured look from his face and tell him everything was alright. That it was not his fault. He stroked her face, drying the tracks of her tears as he gazed at her. <I love you Florence>
She felt herself falling into the vivid expanse of blue, felt his hands cradle her face so he could gently kiss her. Her lips drawn into his kiss as she melted in his arms, her mind touching his and sharing thoughts that had been tossed and tangled by a hundred broken dreams. Thoughts shoved roughly to one side instead of embraced. Thoughts that spoke of all the longings of the heart and all the treasures of the soul, lying undiscovered and squandered where he had too often abandoned hope. The kiss deepened, his arms drawing her closer until she was sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist oblivious of everything but him. He was her entire world and she was his. He loved her and that was all that mattered. All that had ever mattered. The walls of his fortress had been breached, the armour set aside to allow her access to him and once inside nothing was witheld or hidden from her. He had let her in before but it seemed so long ago now, the moments so rare that she wondered whether she had imagined them. Now she knew she had not. Swept up on a tide of emotion she opened her heart and helped him tear down the last of the walls that had been destroying them both. As long as she could love him nothing else mattered. He started to pull away to say something but she would not release him. She felt the chuckle in the back of his throat as she devoured him, leaving him in no doubt what she wanted. What she needed. She felt his sigh from the tip of her head to her toes.
<Alright Florence, but not here. It isn't safe>
She sucked his tongue and wriggled in closer. <I don't want to be safe>
He squeezed her tight and rocked her then drew back with a chuckle. She released him reluctantly, her eyes hazy, and looked at him.
<There's a cabin a couple of klicks from here...>
She shook her head adamantly. <No cabins>
He raised his eyebrows and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand so the soft part of his skin would touch her face. He realised he did not want to be cooped up either, but making love under the stars? In Harsh Realm? With all the dangers that might entail? She smiled at him and he felt his heart lurch, passion and desire sweeping through him like a whirlwind and taking his breath with him.
<Okay Florence, you pick the spot and we'll do it>
It was her turn to laugh, the silent humour turning her smile into a bright rainbow. <Anywhere?>
He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. <Anywhere>
He only just had time to spot the mischievous glint in her eyes and wonder what she was up to then without warning he tumbled backwards off the log and landed flat on his back with Florence grinning on top of him. She had a satisfied smirk on her face as she momentarily knocked the air out of him.
<You did say anywhere>
He laughed and lay there unresisting as she kissed him and pinned him to the earth. His laughter fading and his heart soaring with love as he took her in his arms and made good on his promise...
********** T H E E N D **********