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/If I tell you
Will you Listen
Will you stay
Will you be here forever
Never go away
Never thought
Things would change
Hold me tight
Please don't say again
That you have to go/
Will stared out at the water in silence, his tears had long since dried. His eyes were gritty, his face pale, his posture slumped. But for the life of him he didn't care. His heart was crushed, broken, and it was his fault.
His love, his heart was marrying another. He'd been invited to the wedding but he hadn't gone. It would have been worse to go and see his lover kiss another. He sat down in the sand, at that very moment the other half of his soul was pledging his life his love to another. That thought made a sob catch in his through anew.
He truly wasn't whole anymore and he wouldn't be for the rest of his life. Tears began to slide down his face again, surprising him. He'd truly thought he'd cried as much as he could. He lay a hand over his aching chest, it was almost as if his very core knew something was missing.
/A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violent
Since you're gone
All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you
If I had told you
You would have listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away
It would have never been the same
All our time
Would have been in vain
Cause you had to go/
The worst part of it though, the part that made him want to die. He'd never told James how he felt about him. Not even once, he thought back to the last time they'd been together.
*Flashback*
Will lay cuddled up to his lover, sighing as a hand stroked through his hair. His arm was draped across James's stomach and his head tucked under the other's chin.
"Will you know I love you right?" James asked quietly. Will noted the odd note in his voice and ran a hand gently along his lover's chest, giving comfort.
"I know James, I know." Will whispered quietly.
"Will the governor has given me his blessing in marrying Elizabeth. He thinks it would accomplish my goals in life. And Elizabeth is a well bred, well nurtured young lady." James continued.
Will's breath caught in his throat, jealousy and pain fighting each other both equally strong. He pulled himself out of his lover's gentle embrace and sat up on the bed moving to the edge. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "James?" He questioned softly.
"Will I love you, I need to know you love me. Just tell me you love me and I'll get out of this engagement. Will I need to know I have your love, if I don't I know I have Elizabeth's. I'll never love her as I do you but I NEED to be loved William." James's voice had taken on a begging quality.
Will sat there, his eyes burning. Thinking, he loved James more then he loved life itself. He would die in the most horrible of ways if it would save his James. But James, everyone expected it of the Commodore to marry Miss Swann and have children and be the perfect couple. If James didn't marry her it would look bad on him. Will wasn't sure he could deal with that. The idea that it was HIS fault people looked down on his love.
He flinched as James grabbed his chin gently and tilted his head up so that he looked into pleading blue eyes. His own brown eyes full of sadness and pain.
"Please Will, please just three words and I'll be yours forever. Just tell me you love me William. Please." James begged slightly, blue eyes wide.
Will turned his head away, his breathing hitched as he held in tears and tried not to show his pain. He only turned back to James when he heard a rustle of clothing and saw his lover getting dressed.
"Very well, Mr. Turner." James's voice was clipped and hard. All the more making the pain in Will's chest overwhelming.
"James." Will choked out hoarsely, holding a trembling hand out to his lover. He met the Blue eyes full of hate and betrayal, trying his hardest to show James how much he was sorry through his eyes.
"Perhaps we'll be together again someday Will." And with that the love of his life walked out the door and out of his life.
*End of Flashback*
He hadn't even gotten to tell his love he loved him more then life itself. William wrapped his arms around himself.
/The Sweetest thought
I had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments
Keep me warm
When you're gone
All my thoughts are with you forever
until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you/
Will stood slowly and began to walk along the beach, heading back the way he had come. It hurt a lot, almost more then he could bear. But as the breeze from the ocean played along the shore and with his hair he could almost hear whispered words. A whispered promise in the wind, and he could almost swear he heard his James's voice whispering to him.
......we'll be together some day...... the wind seemed to whisper. The very wind seemed suddenly so alive. William smiled wistfully and took the promise to heart. Until then he'd have his memories and a broken heart and soul, waiting for their other half to come back to them