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There was a reason Eliot had always worked alone. Well, there were several reasons. But the most important reason was that being a loner was safe.
Working with others, relying on other people to have your back, knowing that they relied on you; it wasn't safe. Eventually people let you down. You turned around thinking they were there to stand up for you, with you, only to find that you were alone.
But even more than that, they made you vulnerable. Vulnerable in ways being alone could never do. They could be used against you. He knew this for a fact; he'd used that kind of leverage over others in the past.
And that's why he knew he was making the right choice. The only reasonable option. The only safe way out.
He had to break it off with Hardison. There was no way around it.
Somewhere along the way, the quirky hacker had managed to get under Eliot's skin. Into his heart. And now he was a liability.
It hadn't happened yet, but Eliot knew it was only a matter of time. Someone would see how much Alec meant to him, and the young man would be in danger. A walking target.
Eliot couldn't have that.
No, the only way to keep Alec safe was to break it off. If it meant they couldn't work together, so be it. He'd walk away to keep Alec safe.
No matter how much it hurt.
Taking a deep breath, Eliot raised his hand to knock on the door. He only hoped he'd be able to walk away when this was over.
--
Alec watched Eliot through the security camera, watching as the man wrestled with himself. It was obvious that the decision he was contemplating was paining him. Just as obvious as it was that the man intended to follow through, no matter what.
And Alec knew what was causing so much conflict.
Eliot wanted to break up with him.
Alec knew it. And he also knew why.
If he were more of a romantic, he might even think the reason noble. But he wasn't that much of a romantic, and this wasn't a Harlequin novel.
And because of that, Alec was more annoyed and pissed than anything else.
He didn't like being put in the position of the ‘damsel'. He didn't need saving or protecting.
He'd been on his own for the vast majority of his life. He'd landed in foster care at an old enough age to remember the care and love he'd received from his parents, but young enough to recall the fear and loneliness that plagued him as he grew up in the system. The only real saving grace during those dark years had been Nana. She'd taught him that good still existed in the world. And even more, she'd impressed upon him that he actually deserved some of that goodness.
Eliot was a good man. He was as loyal as the day is long. And as much as he fought it, Eliot was a nurturer. He would die, and kill, for those that mattered to him.
Alec counted himself as lucky to be amongst those few.
There was no way in hell that he was gonna let Eliot's fear push him away.
Because that's what it came down to. Eliot was afraid. Terrified that his feelings for Alec would somehow make Hardison a walking target.
And maybe it would.
But that was a risk Alec was willing to take.
Watching as Eliot raised his hand to knock on the door; Alec stood and made his way down the hall. He only hoped he'd be able to convince Eliot that staying was his only option.
--
Eliot looked across the kitchen table at Alec, noticing the way the other man fiddled with the bottle of orange soda in his hand.
It was more than obvious that Hardison had picked up on the seriousness of this visit. But the other man didn't seem inclined to bring it up first.
Eliot decided he'd have to make the first move.
Taking a deep breath, Eliot got straight to the point, "Hardison I can't do this anymore. We can't be together. I want to break up."
Alec finally looked up at him, meeting his gaze with such intensity Eliot found himself looking away.
"No."
Turning back, Eliot looked at the younger man, quirking a brow. "Excuse me?"
"I said no. I'm not letting you break up with me."
"Wasn't asking for permission, Hardison."
"Doesn't matter. The answer is still No."
Sighing, Eliot stood up and began pacing back and forth. "Why do you have to make this harder than it has to be?"
"Because I love you, Eliot. And you love me. I know you do. That's why you're ready to bolt out the door."
Eliot stopped and stared at Alec, "I don't love you."
Alec ignored the pain that flared at the cold words. "Yes you do. You just don't want to admit it. That's okay. We have time. But I do love you. And I'm not letting you walk away from me. From us."
"Stop saying that, Alec! It's over. We can't be together."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Give me one good reason why we can't be together, and I'll let you walk away without interference."
"Fine." Eliot retook his seat. "There are things in my past that you don't know about, things I don't like to talk about. I've done some stuff I'm not proud of, and there are people that want to hurt me because of that. They'll use you to do that. I won't have you hurt, or possibly killed, because of me."
"That's a pretty good reason."
"I know. And I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be. We can't be together."
"Ok. Just answer me one thing, then I'll let you go."
"What is it?"
"If I were to die tomorrow, would it hurt any less simply because we aren't together?"
Eliot stared at Alec a long time, the question hanging in the air between them, as his heart pounded rapidly in his chest.
He hadn't though about that. Hadn't ever contemplated Alec coming to harm, or possibly dying, from something completely unrelated to Eliot. And the truth was, no matter if it was tomorrow, or ten years down the road, he'd be devastated to lose Alec.
Noting the look on Eliot's face, Alec reach across the table and grabbed Eliot's hand. "That's what I thought. Look Eliot, I care about you. Being with you was unexpected, but it has made me very happy. I knew that you were having issues with this. I even knew what those reasons were. And I was fully prepared to come in here and plead my case and demand that you stay. But I'm not gonna do that. If being with me is gonna cause you this much grief, then I'll let you walk away."
Alec stood and walked to the kitchen doorway. He'd been set to fight Eliot tooth and nail, but he couldn't. If Eliot really wanted this, Alec wouldn't stop him. But he couldn't watch him leave either. "Please lock the door on the way out."
Walking down the hall, Alec entered his bedroom, ignoring the instant message alerts coming from his laptop. Climbing into the bed, lying down on his side, Alec just stared off into space.
It was an indeterminable amount of time later that he felt the bed dip. Strong arms slid around his waist, and over his abdomen; the stubbly skin of Eliot's cheek stinging slightly as it brushed against his.
There was a soft brush of lips to his temple, and a gravely whisper in his ear, "I'm sorry."
Closing his eyes, and squeezing the hand that had found his, Alec smiled, "Don't let it happen again."
*END*