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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-05
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4,993
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Mechanic

Summary:

SUMMARY: Reality takes a bite out of Xander. Spike applies the bandaid.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

MECHANIC
by Scorpio

Walking out of the Circle K with a steaming hot paper cup of coffee in one hand and a moist prepackaged cherry danish in the other, Xander grinned sleepily at the slim edge of the morning sun creeping higher up into the sky. The misty morning dew which had covered everything was slowly drying away and the birds had begun their dawn chorus of twittering song. He was running early for work, his shoulder was no longer causing him any problems and his gas tank was full. Life was good.

A slight bounce in his step, Xander walked over to his car, opened the door and slid in. He carefully placed the hot coffee in the cup holder and brushed the empty plastic junk food wrappers and crumpled napkins off of the passenger seat onto the floor. A new clean spot made, Xander placed  his danish down and slid his key into the ignition and turned.

*CLIC-C-C-C-C-K*

Frowning slightly at the odd noise that his engine made *instead* of the sound of it turning over, Xander tried again.

*CLIC-C-C-C-C-K*

*CLIC-C-C-C-C-K*

His frown sliding into a grimace, Xander decided that was *not* a happy sound. Not at all. For a brief moment, Xander pictured Anya's car in his mind. It was a sweet little compact car with a nice paint job, a great interior and most importantly, a bumper to bumper five year warranty. Her lovely little sedan was a far cry from his beat up old clunker.

Still, he was glad that it was *him* stuck in this situation and not her. They were both insured to drive either car, but she almost always drove the new one while he took the old one to the construction site where dust, dirt and debris wouldn't matter. However, being grateful that his wife wasn't trapped on the side of the road somewhere didn't help *him* at the moment. With a heartfelt sigh, Xander slid back out of his car and stomped over to the pay phone on the side of the Circle K.

*bbr-rriiiing*

*bbr-rriiiing*

*bbr-rr---*

"Mitchell and Morris Construction."

Hoping he didn't sound too pathetic and trying not to let his temper flare, Xander spoke into the phone.

"Zeke? This is Xander Harris."

"Harris? Ahhhh man! Don't tell me you're callin' out? Crandel and Rodrigez already pulled that crap this morning. What the fuck am I gonna do with only half a crew?"

Xander closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could understand Zeke's reaction. Really, he could. They were already behind schedule as it was because Ed Crandel and Carlos Rodrigez were more interested in beer, baseball and babes than in doing their jobs. And now they weren't even bothering to show up. That would only make shit harder on everyone else. Xander just couldn't find it in himself to heap even more crap on Zeke's shoulders. Especially since he was the only other person besides Zeke who could *do* some of the work. Sighing, he made a decision.

"Naw man. That ain't it. Actually, I'm calling to see if someone could come pick me up and bring me in. My car only got me halfway there. I'm stranded at the Circle K."

There was a sigh of relief at the other end of the connection.

"No problem Harris. Just tell the manager to keep an eye on your car. Give 'em twenty bucks to make sure he does it and I'll have the company reimburse you for it since you, unlike *some* people are making an effort to get here. I'll send Polkowski over with the truck. He should be there in about 15 minutes."

Nodding his head, Xander tried not to sound too resigned.

"Sure thing boss. See you soon."

*

Work had really and truly sucked. It was massive suckage. Short handed, the crew didn't get half as much done as they should have and they were now even further behind schedule. Zeke was *not* in a happy mood and he was short and snippy with everyone as a result. Tommy Carrusso was a good kid, but he wasn't real bright so he could only be trusted with simple tasks and then only after you explained it twice. Polcowski was his normally quiet self, but even he was more than a touch annoyed at setbacks the site had been having. And Xander was distracted all day by thoughts of his poor dead car sitting in the parking lot of the Circle K.

So, after work when Polcowski offered to drive him home in the truck, Xander asked to be dropped off at the Magic Box instead. Ignoring the fact that he was dirty and sweaty, he just wanted to let Anya know what had happened and figure out what they were going to do about it.

When he walked in, the bells over the door chimed and everyone looked up and over at him. Anya was behind the register going through the accounting books and Giles was over across the room shelving some new merchandise. Willow and Tara were sitting at the large research table with what looked like homework spread out around them.

"Oooo...sweaty and dirty working man. Sexy."

Then Anya's face became slightly puzzled.

"Um...why *are* you all sweaty and dirty. As much as *I* like that look on you, you always insist on taking a shower right after work. Why aren't you presentable for the public?"

Leaning over the counter, Xander placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Anya my love, we have a situation."

"What kind of situation?"

Willow's head perked up, concern and excitement bubbling in her eyes.

"A Hellmouthy type of situation?"

Xander shook his head.

"No. More like a 'the car died on me while I was driving to work this morning' type of situation."

"Oh."

Willow's face fell slightly and Xander wondered if she had a new spell in mind that she was itching to try out. Then she looked over at him again with worry.

"You weren't, you know, hurt were you?"

"No. Just late for work. The car is parked over at the Circle K, but I'm not too sure what to do about it. I don't know much about cars. Build a house? Yes. Fix a car? Nope, sorry. Not my department. I'm just worried about how much it'll cost to fix it. You know?"

Giles strode over and sighed in commiseration.

"I do know. Motors can be quite expensive to fix up at times. I would offer to look at it for you, but unfortunately I am in the same situation as you Xander. Fiddling under the bonnet of a motor is not my department either."

"You should talk to Spike."

Xander whipped his head around and goggled at his wife as if she had suddenly gone insane.

"Excuse me, what?"

"Spike. Talk to Spike. About the car, I mean. He could tell you what's wrong with it and if it's something simple enough, he could probably fix it himself."

"Spike? Chipped vampire with bleached blonde hair, Spike? That Spike?"

Anya flashed him a slightly exasperated look.

"Xander, don't be silly. He knows cars."

That's when Willow jumped in and sided with Anya.

"Oh, and Xander? If Spike wants you to bring the car somewhere specific so he can look at it, let me and Tara know. There's this spell that we know that will make things run without any power. Well, gas or electricity anyway, since it *does* make them work on *magical* power. But, um...you know what I mean."

Xander blinked at his best friend.

"Wills, you have a spell that will make my car run without gas? Why didn't you use it on it before? Could've saved a lot of money."

Willow giggled and rolled her eyes at him even though he could tell that Anya, at least, was interested in the answer. He and his wife were both all for the saving of money wherever they could.

"The spell only lasts for a short while silly. And it's tiring to cast, so it wouldn't be worth it unless it's an emergency. This qualifies since the spell components are *way* cheeper than a tow-truck."

Anya nodded her head in agreement at *that* bit of news.

"Right. Xander, you go tell Spike about the car and then Willow will magic it to wherever it needs to go."

Xander looked from the determined face of his wife to the excited face of his best friend and wondered briefly if there was ever a moment when the women in his life weren't in complete control. He glanced over and saw Tara smiling at him, her eyes glittering half with amusement and half with sympathy. He grinned back at her.

"Do they gang up on you too?"

Tara nodded and giggled, but she didn't look any more upset with the idea than Xander was. He sighed in defeat.

"Okay. I'll go talk to the Biteless One and see if he knows what that clicking sound the car made before it decided not to work means. I'll let you ladies know what's the what as soon as I find out."

One last peck of a kiss to Anya's cheek and Xander was out the door headed for Spike's Cemetery.

*

"What the bloody hell do *you* want? Can't a vamp sleep in peace without some jammy git banging away at his bloody front door?"

"And a cheery hello to you too, Spike."

A smile that was both sarcastic and forced, Xander pushed his way inside of Spike's dusty and dank crypt so that the blonde vampire could shut the door and block out the deadly rays of the sun.

"Are you always this gracious with your guests? Or am I just special?"

Spike shot him a withering glare and then snorted inelegantly. Turning on his heal, the vampire stalked across the dimly lit "front palour" to where his cigarettes and an ashtray were sitting on an endtable.

"Don't get all snotty with me sawdust-boy. *You* aren't the nicest person in the world when *you* get woken up in the middle of the bleedin' night, why should *I* be nice when I'm woken up in the middle of the effin' day?"

Xander grimaced internally and sympathized with the demon. He *didn't* like getting woken up early. He had to get up too damn soon to go to work as it was, being woken up by someone, usually Spike, before the sun rose only started the whole day off wrong. However, Xander couldn't apologize for his unthinking rudeness. He wasn't sure *why* it was imperative he didn't apologize, but he figured it had something to do with his principles. Shrugging to himself, he ignored the minor impulse of politeness and snarked back.

"Poor Spike, had your beauty sleep interrupted, did you? Don't worry blondie, it never works anyway. Besides, *Anya* sent me over here, not like it was *my* idea."

Spike chuckled at him and tossed him a beer from out of his mini-fridge.

"Harris, you are whipped. You know that don't you?"

Xander caught the brew and twisted open the top. He chugged back a third of it and then grinned at the vampire.

"Oh, and you followed Drusilla around for a century almost killing yourself to fulfill her every whim because...why? Oh yeah. Now I remember. It was because you are whipped too."

Spike grinned at him and raised his own beer in a semi-toast.

"Never claimed otherwise mate."

For a long moment blue eyes locked onto brown as they both realized that they were sharing a "bonding" moment. Coughing and blushing, they both turned away from the other.

"So, what brings you to Chateau Spike, anyway?"

Xander grimaced and his shoulders slumped down as he remembered his poor dead car.

"It's my car."

Spike snorted again.

"What? That hunk of rusty paint flaking junk on wheels? What about it?"

Xander sighed and downed some more beer. He looked over at Spike with grave eyes.

"It's dead. It just made this sad sick clicky noise when I tried to start it and that's it. It's dead. Completely dead. Which is why I'm here. Anya seems to think that you can do some vamp thing to it, I guess. Make it...I don't know, undead?"

Spike let loose a bark of laughter and glanced over at Xander, his bright blue eyes glittering with amusement.

"Are you trying to tell me that your chit wants me to *turn* your car?"

Xander nodded seriously and then drained the rest of his beer. Tossing the empty into the rubbish bin, he turned back to face Spike and belched. It echoed nicely in the cavernous crypt.

"Yep. An undead car. That's just what I need to go with my ex-demon wife and my witchy best friend."

Xander turned confused eyes on Spike.

"Spike? Why aren't I allowed to have a normal life?"

Spike chuckled and nodded his head in the general direction of town.

"A car breaking down on a fellow *is* normal. You get normal crap happen to you all the time moron. You just can't *recognize* it. Too busy spending your time learning demon stuff, I guess."

Wandering across the crypt, Xander dug into the mini-fridge and pulled out another beer for himself. He held one up and looked questioningly at Spike. The vampire nodded and Xander tossed him the brown bottle.

"So. Where *is* your rust bucket, anyway?"

"The Circle K parking lot."

Spike shot him a sour look that spoke eloquently of his opinion of Xander's intelligence levels.

"In case you didn't notice, the sun it out. How in the bloody hell do you propose I look at your car in the middle of a bleedin' parking lot halfway across town?"

"Willow. She said she could magic it anywhere you wanted it to be. A one time spell thingy. I didn't ask too many questions. Her answers always give me a headache and a serious case of the wiggins."

Spike nodded his head in sympathy for a moment and then his eyes glazed over as he considered his options. For a long moment, they were both silent and Xander took that opportunity to drain half of his beer.

"Hey mate, do you know that old Farrington Warehouse on Filmont Avenue? The big brick building just passed that orange juice factory?"

Xander thought a minute, trying to visualize Filmont Avenue in his mind. The orange juice factory? He couldn't place it for a moment, but then it hit him. The factory didn't make orange juice, it made the waxed paper jugs and cartons that the juice was packaged in. About a mile and a half passed that was an old abandoned warehouse that at one time was used to store perishable foodstuffs in the refrigerated storage areas. Was that the one Spike meant?

"Is Farrington the building that they used to store fruit and vegetables in?"

Spike nodded.

"Yeah. That's the one."

"Why?"

Spike rolled his expressive blue eyes at him and gave him a look that stated loudly that Xander was an idiot.

"It's a demon-owned chop-shop now, innit?"

Xander felt his eyebrows creep up the front of his face to implant themselves in his hair.

"And that helps me how?"

Spike sighed the sigh of the long suffering and spoke to Xander in the same tone one would use on an unusually dense child.

"You get Red to magic your car there. I will look at it. *Out* of the sun, I might add. Won't do you any good if your mechanic bursts into flames, now will it?"

Xander grinned at the mental image.

"No. I suppose not. It'd be funny though."

Spike snarled at him.

"Oh, ha bloody ha, mate. Don't quit your day job."

*

Twenty minutes later saw Xander standing next to his car with his jaw hanging down in awe. His car was making this lovely rumbling purr sound and Willow was swaying slightly on her feet, Tara behind her holding her steady.

"Handy spell there Wills. Great job."

Willow grinned weakly at him, but her green eyes sparkled.

"Thanks. It'll only work for about an hour or so. After that, the spell wears off and you'll be stuck again, so I hope that Spike didn't ask you to take it far."

Xander shook his head.

"No, not far. Just the other side of town. I can get there in about fifteen minutes, so no worries about not making it."

Anya smiled and nodded at that news.

"Good. You take the car over to Spike so that he can look at it. I'll take Willow and Tara home in my car. It's probably not a good idea for them to walk. It'll be dark soon and Willow looks a little peaked."

Willow 'hummped' at that, but she didn't argue. Anya glanced over at her and shrugged.

"I'm sorry, but you do. That spell took a lot out of you, so don't argue with me. I'll give you a ride. It wouldn't be safe for you to walk."

Tara hugged Willow tighter.

"Sh...she's right. It w...wouldn't be s...safe."

With a sigh, Willow caved.

"Okay. A ride does sound nice about now. Thanks. And Xander? Let me know how this all turns out. Okay?"

Xander smiled at her even as he opened up the driver's side door of his car and slid in.

"Sure thing Wills."

He turned to face Anya and blew her a kiss.

"See you later, honey."

*

The outside of the building looked innocuous. Like an old abandoned warehouse. Just like it was supposed to look. But when Xander turned into the lot, he was directed by a short creature with a lumpy misformed backbone wearing an Adidas sweatshirt to pull his car inside of the building through the large doors left over from the truck docking area. Xander was almost certain that Farrington, if he was even still alive, wouldn't have hired *any* one that wasn't human. And that short guy was *far* from human.

Once inside, Xander saw that the whole interior of the building had been gutted and redesigned to be a chop-shop. A whole bank of individual "pits" lined one wall where the cars were pulled apart at the seams. Up along the second floor, at least what little of it Xander could see, were rows upon rows of shelves filled with various car parts all arranged neatly and with meticulous organization. Demons of all shapes and sizes swarmed over the cars that were being "worked" on.

And there stood Spike, smirk on his lips, cigarette dangling from one hand as he gabbed with some tall skinny scaly looking...thing. When Spike saw him, he made a gesture directing Xander to pull into the farthest "pit" on the row. Swallowing down a bout of nerves, Xander silently prayed that he didn't get killed and that the demons didn't decide to strip down his car. He was having a bad enough day as it was.

Turning off his car and pulling the key out of the ignition, Xander climbed out of the car just in time for Spike to shove a piece of paper in his hands and growl at him to "pop the hood, mate". Rolling his own eyes, Xander leaned back down into the car and pulled the latch that would unlock the hood from the body. Then he unfolded the scrap of paper and quickly read over it.

Moron,

Keep your yap shut about the chip. The boys 'round here think I'm close to the     Slayer because she's descended from my mortal sister. We have a deal. They don't bother *her* and I keep her away from here, so don't tell her about this place either.

S

Groaning to himself, Xander closed his eyes and contemplated the advantages of banging his head off of the nearest wall. Being unconscious sounded like a good thing about now. Much better than thinking of Buffy and Spike being related. No matter *how* distantly. Besides, *secrets*? Secrets gave him heartburn.

"Turn the key over."

Xander blinked in confusion.

"What?"

Spike's head popped up from around the hood of his car so that the blonde vampire could better glare at him.

"S'not a hard task, wood-for-brains. Turn. The. Key. Over."

Xander sighed as he slid back behind the wheel. Yeah, any wall would do, but nice solid brick or stone was preferred. Wouldn't want to risk just breaking a hole in drywall. The hole making would be satisfying, but not as enjoyable as unconsciousness. Resigning himself to being fully awake and aware, Xander replaced the key in the ignition and turned it.

*CLIC-C-C-C-K*

"Again."

*CLIC-C-C-C-K*

Spike wandered away then, muttering something about meters and voltage. Xander wasn't sure what, exactly, nor what it actually meant. A few minutes later he returned carrying a little black box the size of a palm pilot that had two long thin wires running from it to two small metal...port plugs? Xander wasn't sure. Spike placed the box on the edge of Xander's car and grabbed the two wires and leaned back under the hood. His voice drifted back to Xander.

"Try it again, clueless."

Rolling his eyes at the insult, Xander turned the key again.

*CLIC-C-C-C-K*

"Hmmmm."

Xander leaned out the car window to see Spike peering at an LTD screen on the little black box.

"Hmmm what?"

Laser beam blue eyes locked onto his.

"Only reading 11.8 volts. Should be at least 13 something. Optimally it should be 14.2 volts. Your alternator isn't charging your battery and with you running around town and all, you're just draining all the juice outta it."

Xander blinked. He had no idea what Spike just said to him.

"Oh."

Xander climbed back out of his car in time to see Spike walk over to the far wall where there were several wheeled carts piled high with a variety of tools. The blonde vampire latched onto one and dragged it over to the front of Xander's car. He grabbed a long metal socket type wrench and slid the
socket over the end bolt of a wheel-and-pulley type of gizmo.

"See that wheel there? That's the tensioner. See the rubber belt wrapped around the other wheel above it? When I shift the tensioner over, you grab the belt and unwrap it."

"Sure thing Spike."

Spike pulled on the long metal tool and the tensioner wheel shifted over and consequently loosened the rubber belt enough that Xander was able to slide it off of it's track easily. Once it was out of the way, Spike eased back on the tensioner. Then he turned and slapped the socket wrench into Xander's hands.

"Here. Hold this a mo'."

Then, before he could ask any questions, Spike turned back to the cart of tools and grabbed hold of a screwdriver. Using that as a lever, Spike pried out two plugs attached to wires from one particular gizmo that in turn was attached to the wheel he had just helped free from the rubber belt. Xander had the odd thought that those two plugs vaguely resembled the plugs that ran into Willow's computer.

Once they were free, Spike replaced his screwdriver with a wrench. He checked it against a bolt on the back of the gizmo thing and then turned and grabbed a smaller one. He checked this one and it fit. Then he grabbed hold of the socket wrench out of Xander's hands and fitted it against a different bolt on the same gizmo. It fit.

"Here. Take this wrench and loosen that bolt for me while I get this one."

"Sure."

Xander began to slowly loosen the bolt.

"Uh, Spike? Not to sound *too* stupid, but what is this thing? And why are we pulling it apart?"

"It's an alternator, innit? And we're not pulling it apart, we're pulling it out. It's broke. S'not charging your battery. Needs a new one, don't it?"

"Oh. Okay."

Xander kept loosening the blot. It was incredibly long as it went through the entire alternator. Not stopping, he flashed a quick glance up at Spike nonetheless. Spike was intent on loosening his own bolt.

"Uh, Spike? How do you know so much about cars, anyway?"

Spike favored him with a scathing look.

"Contrary to popular belief with you and the rest of the puppy-gang, I'm *not* a complete idiot. I've been driving motors since the bloody things were invented. I *have* learned a thing or two in all that time, haven't I?"

Xander paused in his efforts and contemplated that concept.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I just never thought of you as having everyday normal problems like cars that won't run, and all."

Spike's glare turned down a notch and he went back to work with a grunt and a shrug.

"Demons have just as many pain in the arse problems as humans do, ducks. Even more, really. We aren't exactly welcomed by human society so there's a lot of things we have to learn to do for ourselves or go without. S'not like we can go to humans for help, can we?"

Xander paused again as that thought wormed it's way into his head.

"Guess not."

Finally, both bolts were worked free and set aside. Spike shooed Xander out of the way and then he grabbed hold of the alternator with both hands. He wiggled it slightly from side to side and then he gave it one good yank. With a wailing sound of metal scraping against metal, the unit pulled free. Turning it over slightly, Spike peeled off a thin curved black metal cover and a thin flat strip of metal and handed them to Xander.

"Just a mo'. Gonna go put this in the 'to be worked on' pile and go grab you a working alternator."

Xander stood there silently, watching as Spike walked over to a small section of shelving that was overflowing with greasy dirty...gizmos and plopped the old alternator down. Then, he turned on his heel and walked over to a stairwell that ran along the far wall. Quickly, the blonde vampire dashed  up the stairs and made his way to a particular row of shelves that ran towards the back of the landing. He returned into view a few moments later with a cleaner looking alternator in his hands. He made his way back down the stairs and over to Xander with it. Then, he took back the two small pieces of metal back and began to fit them onto the new alternator.

"Um, Spike? How do you know where everything in this place is? And why are they letting us work on my car here?"

Spike smirked at him.

"You didn't *seriously* think that I could survive on that pittance that Rupert set up for me, did you? Don't be a fool. Oh, wait...s'too late for that, innit?"

Xander tried to glare at the vampire, but it was half hearted at best. The whole idea of Spike with a job, even an illegal one, was just *way* too wiggy. He had these insane visions of Spike arguing with the shop foreman that he was *due* his two 15 minute cigarette breaks and his half hour blood break because it was in his Undead Chop-shop Worker's Union contract.

"Oi! Pay attention."

Shaking his head to clear out those mind-boggling images, Xander saw that Spike had the new alternator resting in it's appointed place and was holding out the long bolt in one hand and the socket wrench in the other. Xander took them and began the reverse process of what he had just done while Spike replaced the other bolt on the far side of the alternator.

It didn't take them long to fix both bolts in place. Then Spike pushed the two plugs into place. The second one didn't want to go in at first and Spike mumbled something about grease, but Xander wasn't sure what he meant by that. However, the vampire twisted himself into a knot in order to peer into the "female" end of the plug unit on the side of the alternator. With a satisfied grunt, he shifted back and tried the plug again. A bit of a wiggle and it slid into place.

Then Spike grabbed the socket wrench from Xander's hands and affixed it to the tensioner wheel again.

"All right. When I shift this, you have to slide that belt back into place. Make sure it's lined up on those wheels *perfectly* or this whole job is for naught. Got it?"

"Sure."

Spike leaned on the wrench and the tensioner wheel shifted again. Moving quickly, Xander slid the belt back on the wheels. Then he took a moment to make sure it was lined up perfectly along the entire way.

"Okay, Spike. It's on."

Spike gently eased back on the socket wrench and the tensioner wheel shifted back into place, pulling the rubber belt taunt. Then he turned and put the wrench back on the cart.

"Um, now what?"

Spike looked over at him and shrugged slightly.

"Now we get you a jump to start the car. After that the new alternator will begin recharging the battery on it's own. Shouldn't have any more problems after this. Oh, and you owe me some beer."

Xander grinned and shook his head.

"No problem. This weekend I'll buy us a case. We'll sit down together, get drunk and watch some football."

Spike grinned back at him.

"As long as it's not that bloody American football. You yanks have a nice violent way about you, but *English* footy is what *I* wanna watch."

Xander faked thinking about it for a moment and then grinned again.

"Okay. But just this once."


END: Mechanic

And yes, I *did* learn how to change an alternator on an older vehicle today.

--- scorpiofic@aol.com ---

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Scorpio.
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