Work Text:
Drabble #1
by SectorGeneral
ircmls@aol.com
"He stood as a mighty oak, the taut muscles of his chest rippling in anticipation of the coming retribution against the vile warlord. His stout heart swelled with pride as his true love, his wondrous bondmate stood with him in righteous anger and vengeance against the evil hoards."
"What in Tartarus are you *reading*?!! "
"Gabby decided to start writing slash adventure stories. This is her latest."
"Trust me on this one, she's no good at it. Who's supposed to be the hero in this 'epic'? "
"Hercules. Can't you tell from the 'mighty oak' remark?
"Yeah he does come across as kinda wooden at times. Anyway, I can think of better ways for you to spend your time. That is, if you're interested."
Kissing sounds.
"Oh yeah, I'm interested. One question though; Are you going to assault me with your 'mighty man-sword'?"
Hysterical laughter and the thump of a body hitting the floor and rolling around.
"*Mighty man-sword*!! Where did *that* come from? "
"One of her earlier stories. Honestly, you should read some of them. In this one there's this great part that you will really love. Let me read it to you. 'His lips fought for purchase as the roaring filled his ears, passion swelling his loins. Thrusting, plunging, swirling, the tide pulling his very essence from his bones. Crashing waves of memories filled his stout heart and crested over him.'"
"What the heck is supposed to be happening?"
"It's the first time he kissed Iolaus."
"Sounds like he's jerking off in the ocean during a hurricane. She's got a thing for his 'stout heart' doesn't she?"
"Yeah, well, she does tend to repeat what she call 'epic phrases'. Says it lends continuity to the series."
"No, it proves she's got a limited vocabulary. Say, do you think Herk the Jerk knows about any of this stuff?"
"I'm pretty sure he doesn't. She and Xena haven't met up with him lately. Ares, tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."
"Aw come on Jox, it'll be fun. I want to see the look on his face when he finds out what his favorite bard is up to."
Shortly thereafter....
"Say Herk, when were you jerking off in a hurricane?"
"Shut up, Iolaus."
End.
P.S. Don't blame me for the 'mighty man-sword'. I stole it from someone on another list. I believe it was Thamiris who was giving examples of how NOT to write.