Work Text:
Soulless eyes.
by kira-nerys
McCoy
Jim is not acting himself. Something is riding him.
Oh, I know what it is. I'm not a fool even if I act one at times.
I feel almost sorry for Decker, but I feel even sorrier for Jim.
I knew it was wrong for him to accept the promotion
That doesn't mean I believe it's right for him to be back on the Enterprise.
There are memories here.
Painful ones.
I don't think he's ready to face them.
I don't know if he'll ever be.
He's jumpy, irritable and I can see the aching in those hazel eyes.
I want to shake him out of his funk, make him realize that he's being foolish.
But I can't.
I'm not a bastard and I care about him.
I don't want to add to his pain if I can avoid it.
I am on the bridge when the message comes.
Someone is asking to come aboard.
I know who it is as soon as I look at Jim.
His entire body tenses like a bowstring.
His knuckles grasp at the edge of his seat.
His face turns a ghostly white.
But his voice betrays nothing.
Spock is here.
I know it as certainly as if I could see him standing there on the bridge with us,
Suddenly, without warning, he does.
Spock...
Jims whisper is painful to listen to.
It holds all the love, the need, the longing
For the whole bridge to see.
Jim his eyes sparkle like his soul suddenly awoke.
I hadn't realized the spark was missing until now.
Spock is cold.
He doesn't even reply and my heart weeps for them.
Is it too late.
Has the... Kohlinar or whatever that wretched ritual is called, stolen away all emotion from him?
Is Spock now the iceblock I always blamed him to be?
I knew then that it wasn't true.
I knew then that I could rattle him into feeling whenever it was needed.
But now?
His eyes are as cool and as dead as they were when he left.
Worse.
It is as if Spock's soul is gone.
God help us all, what will come of this?
~ END