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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
1,233
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
3
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1,065

Like Yesterday

Summary:

Prompt: Impossible dream, Supernatural

Summary/A/N/Disclaimer: Mac/Claire love through the years. So I have no idea what makes this a kink fic but alas, I kinda went by the prompt.  I couldn’t really fit in the Supernatural aspect in but I did go Ethereal & Dreamy---I hope. And since I couldn’t find out how long Claire & Mac were married, I guessed…15 years of marriage (Married in 1985) I also made a lot of the misc. crap up off the top of my head ie the weather etc. Just a warning CSI NY is so not my favored fandom. Oh yeah and it’s totally just spell checked again---sorry.

Work Text:

Important Claire Quotes!

Blink-- Mac: (sitting in hospital with comatose victim) I'm so tired. I used to sit like this with my wife. Her name was Claire. She died on 9/11. Nobody saw it coming. I was cleaning out the closet the other day, and I... I found this beach ball. And I remembered it was my wife who blew it up. I never told anybody this, but I got rid of everything that reminded me of Claire. Too painful. The one thing I couldn't throw away was that beach ball. Her breath is still in there.

Officer Blue-- Stella: We haven't had a fight like that in a long time. Reminds me of the old Mac::.
Mac:: What "old Mac::" is that?
Stella: The one who let his heart out of his chest every once in a while.

The Closer -- Stella: Why haven't you taken your wedding ring off?
Mac: Because, uh, I don't know. I don't want to.
…Mac: When the towers fell and Claire died, it was the clearest definition of what is unjust and unfair in this world, and I was powerless.

Summer 1985
Mac had met his match. She was perfect. He knew right then and there he needed her. More than his own life she was all he wanted now. He’d bumped into her on the subway. As he had stood and shifted his bag she had stolen his seat. With a slight smile and a wink to one another Mac knew he was lost.

Less than a month into their relationship she had figured out what he already knew that they were perfect for each other. He’d never been so honest with another person in his life. In such a short time she had helped patch up his wounded soul. And according to her he’d helped anchor her to a happier reality. He had never thought himself so capable of love. And now that he had it he didn’t want to let go for one single second.

And as he wiped his sweating hands on his pants and got to one knee he knew his life would never be the same.

Summer 1995
The city’s summer had brought out the parents shouting, kids screaming, and lots of laughter. Against a sweet soundtrack of urban beats with the background boom box bass. The sun was glaringly hot, beating down and with no shade in sight Mac had to cover his eyes. Walking hand in hand with his wife to the park Mac felt the sweat sticking to his skin. 

Not only was it a nice day it was a rare one. Despite the heat and noise, Mac couldn’t help but be happy for a second or two. Or if Claire had her way at least a couple of hours of free and easy happiness. With both of their schedules always so busy they took the time and love where they could get it. And today had been a perfect one of those opportunities.

Claire had got up in the morning even earlier than Mac and had prepared them both a big breakfast. That alone made Mac fall for her all over again. It had always been her sweetness tempered by her steel resolve that got to Mac. Despite her upbringing, Claire had always been so real with him. She wasn’t the distressed damsel in the tower. She was her own knight and he was just a tagalong in her story. And after the hell his life had been meeting such a woman had been his saving grace.

After breakfast and some heavy petting, they’d both gotten up and started the weekend chores they always seemed to neglect. And now just a few hours later they were heading to a concert in the park. Just one of those things he loved about New York. The diversity he saw on the job was always depressing but it was one these rare days that Mac got to see all the good things that humanity had to offer. And not even screaming youth and roaring traffic hurt that. Because with Claire in his arms everything was better.

Summer 2000
Screaming, that much Mac remembered, followed by an ultimatum. He’d royally screwed up. Not only did his job had take up all his time again but he’d done the unthinkable. Over the years they’d had this some fights but never when Mac felt so hot headed and still guilty. He’d been over- burdened with work these past couple of weeks and he knew he’d been neglecting their already failing marriage.

But his job wasn’t the only thing at fault. For once he hadn’t wanted to be honest with his wife. He’d never had to truly lie to his wife. And his tolerance for such acts had proven low. This morning just as they had started to relax his guilt had kicked in. He’d told the truth, that he’d kissed another woman. He’d never seen her emotions change so fast. He had felt doom at that very moment. He knew he had hurt her.

He’d ruined their weekend that was for sure. He just hoped he hadn’t ruined their marriage. 

Summer 2005
Shaking his head Mac had to fight for composure. He had to clear the memories away. The most random moments with Claire were coming back to him almost every day now. Especially as he fought his nightmares and tried to sleep. Other than their anniversary and the yearly reminder of the worst day of his life it was always summer that got to him.

He to this day remembered the smell of summer sweat and screaming in the streets. He felt her in his arms and fought daily to cling to that little bit of sweetness life still offered him. It had been a long month at work and his sleeping problems had worsened as the heat did. He could never get cool or calm. Claire could still get to him after all this time.

Well not after so long, it still felt to him like yesterday. It wasn’t until a year or so after her death that Mac had woken up even the slightest. In some ways her death and his life now felt like a dream. He still had disorienting moments where he felt her wispy hair against his chest and her tiny delicate hand held within his own. He could still smell fresh and clean from a shower or dolled up and perfumed to the hilt for a company gala. Every night he felt blessed and haunted to still have her so close to his grasp. Then he’d wake with the morning light and fight hard not to cry.

But to be honest if this was how his damnation played out he couldn’t help but hope for more of her to come. He couldn’t give her up when her family fought them. She didn’t give him up when his PTSD had swung so far out of hand. And they hadn’t given up one another when fertility and lack of it had taken a hold of their life for a while. Despite their fights and losses their love and determination had held them together. And looking out his curtains at the cityscape and as he wiped the teary sand from his eyes Mac knew that once again he could never give her up. Never, the world and his body might move on but his heart would always be hers.