Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
Stats:
Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
752
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
Hits:
1,370

TTYL

Summary:

Summary: Tim and Tony---a cyber love affair turned bittersweet.....Tony's so OOC but I decided that after the boat and Jenny's death he'd be on the verge of a breakdown.

Work Text:

Tony got to his apartment still feeling guilty. It had been a long week of trying to be Claire one minute and having to be Tony the next. He tried and failed countless times to stop Tim from falling for his cyber geek persona. But when he’d left for the day he knew Tim was still infatuated. At first it had been flattering and a big ego boost. He had been able to catch the attention of the great and mighty Elf Lord but now he knew that if it continued it could only end badly.

But in the here and now Tony glanced around his shabby apartment and fought the urge to cry. He had never been able to gain an equilibrium after returning from the Reagan. His place had the congealed pizza smell and the dank  appearance of a subtle but overtaking depression. One that had taken hold of Tony soon after coming home to DC. Until Saturday night he had felt alone in the world. It was as Claire that he’d found a long buried desire to connect with Tim or the Elf Lord awaken within him. They’d spent the majority of Saturday night just chatting and finding one thing after another in common.

Tony had never felt such relief from playing a game of pretend before. And at the same time he’d never felt such guilt. Not even Jeanne had inspired such deep feelings of regret and shame. Despite having not lied about much other than his gender, age, and his intelligence he still felt a deep self hatred that just added to his depression. Tony knew that Claire was pretty much the female version of who he really was. But Tony figured Tim would never take the time to forgive him let alone understand that all he had wanted to do was reach out for the other man’s affection.

Tony had to fight the swirl of emotions within him as he tuned back into the world around him. He knew he wasn’t certifiable just yet but he swore he had heard a knock. *Hmmm there it is again* As he stood he began to feel dread welling up. He knew without a doubt who it was. The man who held his heart within his hands was standing just a few feet away from with only a door and big lie between them.

As much Tony longed for him he found himself at odds and full of fear. He couldn’t stop himself though. He just had to go and open the door and at the very least apologize. He does it through the fear, he grabs the door, swings it open, and just stands there unable to stop his words. He quickly and with tears flowing says to the man in front of him “I’m sorry. What I did was wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop. I’m so sorry.” He knows he looks a mess and couldn’t stop more tears from falling as he looked up at the man of his dreams.

Forcing himself to stop talking he just stood there, waiting. He waited and watched without breathing as Tim stepped closer to him. He’s shocked down to his core as Tim grabs him up in a hug. He cries harder as he feels the arms squeeze him close. He’d been feeling so lost for so long until he reached out as Claire, until Tim came along and made him feel alive again. He whispers into Tim’s shoulder “Please forgive me.”

He clung to the man tighter as Tim spoke quietly but with such force that Tony paid attention. He listened as Tim said “I do Tony, god I do. I don’t know why you did it but I am so glad you did. I’m glad to finally know that you want me whether as Claire or Tony I don’t care at all. I loved you for so long.” Tony fights with his tears and had to smile a bit as he whispers back into Tim’s shoulder “I love you too.” Then he pushed back a bit and looked into Tim’s eyes and said to him “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just I needed to talk to you, to someone so much but I couldn’t bring myself to talk out loud or at work.” He smiles again as Tim hugged him and they just breathed together until Tim looked into Tony’s eyes and with a gentle kiss to the lips begged quietly as he said “Talk to me now.”