Work Text:
Shopping Demons
by Pirate Turner
Four heads lifted in curiosity as the door opened and a mixture of packages in all shapes and sizes came tumbling into the room. Behind them came their boss, his clothes torn to rags, his legs wobbling, and his dark, spiky hair in complete disarray. Every one spoke at once even as Fred rushed to help.
"Aw, Angel, don't tell me y'all were interrupted -- !"
"She didn't -- ?!" Gunn cried, his brown eyes as big as saucers. "Man, I knew she wanted ya bad, but," he whistled, "daaamn!"
"Angel, why wouldn't you listen to me?" Wesley implored. "I tried to warn you how terrible a shop addict Cordelia is."
"Don't look at me, sweetcakes," Lorne said, surveying his nails that Fred had just painted. "I offered to take her shopping, but nnooo, you had to do it yourself." His yellow eyes raised to Angel's dark orbs. "Why must you do everything the hard way?" the green Demon asked in a partially pleading voice.
Gunn looked at Lorne and Wesley. "No way she did all that shopping!"
Fred was now beside Angel, hurriedly gathering the packages that were falling out of his tired arms. "Of course she didn't!" She looked up at Angel in concern. "Where is Cordy?"
Angel jerked his head in the direction of the doorway, then sank into the nearest chair. Fred's arms were full, so she opted to use her foot instead to push the door open. Cordelia was still coming up the walkway, swinging a few bags in her arms. The second biggest grin, seconded only to her smile when Angel had finally professed his love to her, was on her face, and she was still chattering away, not realizing that Angel was already inside.
"Oh, Angel, thanks again so much for all of this! But next time, let's go to -- " She finally stopped talking and looked around as she reached the door. She looked all around, glancing behind her several times. "Fred," she asked at last, "where's Angel?"
Fred opened the door wider, her own mouth still partially agape, and Cordelia grinned when she spied Angel sagged down into the recliner. "Newbie," she teased lightly before swaying her way to him, grasping his hand, and tugging at him to follow her. "Come on, let's go try on that new suit."
Angel sighed but did not complain, his mind on the fact that the sooner he reached their bedroom, the sooner he could lay down on the bed. He let Cordelia lead him away as Fred called to them, "Guys! Guys! GUYS!"
"Aw, leave the lovebirds alone," Lorne told her.
"But," she asked exasperatedly, "who's going to go out there and pick up all those packages?!"
At the mingle of the guys' voices questioning her in confusion, Fred held the door open wider. Gunn's mouth dropped open; Wesley sighed. Lorne shook his head at the sight of the multitude of packages that were strewn between the door all the way out of sight and beyond, he couldn't help but to presume, to where Angel had parked the car. "You've got to love a girl who knows how to shop!"
"Good," Fred told him. "Then you can help me pick them up!"
"Don't look at me, cupcake. Just like I told Angel cakes: I offered to take her shopping, but he declined my invitation. Perhaps next time he'll take me up on it. There's a reason why I always go with an entourage."
Fred glared at him, then turned her attention to Wesley and Gunn. "How about it?"
"I told Angel not to do it," Wesley spoke sternly, his arms folded in front of his chest.
"I don't do shopping, baby; you know that." Gunn yawned and stretched further out on the couch.
Fred fixed the lot of them with her most fierce glare, then slunk out the door to collect Cordelia's packages, muttering to herself the whole while. If Cordy was this terrible a shopaholic, she never wanted to see Lorne shop!
The End