Chapter Text
Beautiful Soul
Sung By: Jesse McCartney
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, or the song Beautiful Soul. They are the property of their respective creators. I do however, own the plotline.
Spoilers: Season Five & Six.
Warnings: Songfic, A.U. Tiva, mention of character death, mentions of Jibbs. Enjoy!
Bold & Italics:
Song lyrics Italics: Thoughts
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul,
He was disgusted with himself. I'm so tired of this game; I want something real for a change. Someone to wake up to in the morning, who won't disappear while I sleep. Yeah, like you can keep anyone like that around. You're failed every relationship you're ever been in. So why do you think it will work with her? Just because you want it to, ha! Stop it, Tony Dinozzo shouted to the voice in his head. I love her. Yet, you can't even tell her because you know she'll laugh in your face. Tony put his head in his hands, wishing things were different. Knowing if he hadn't messed up, that Jenny wouldn't be dead, that he would never have been forced to be Agent Afloat, and things wouldn't be this way. Everything was upside down, Gibbs was angry with him, Vance was the director, and he had no chance with Ziva. Tony, his head in his hands, fell into a dream-filled sleep with no end to the nightmares in sight.
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul,
Today was the day, the day he would tell her how he felt. He had to know if she felt the same, or else he was going to go crazy. If she didn't, well he'd rather not think about that. If he just waited two more hours he would know the answer. He knew Gibbs wasn't going to be happy with them if anything happened. Right now though, he really didn't care what Gibbs would say. Ding-Dong, the bell rang. Tony took a deep breath, wiped his hands on his pants, and opened the door. Ziva was standing there, dressed in a light blue shirt and a lavender skirt. Tony thought she looked beautiful as always. "Hello Tony", she greeted in her tantalizing accent. "Ziva, come in," Tony replied. She smiled at him, shyly; almost unsure of what she was doing here. You'll find out soon enough, Ziva, Tony thought to himself.
I know that you are something special
to you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me,
Ziva was laughing at a joke Tony had just told her. When she looked up however, her face was serious. "Tony is everything okay?" she asked, concerned. "Everything's fine Ziva, why do you ask?" Tony assured her, mentally kicking himself for upsetting her. "It's just that you have not had me over for dinner since before the team was broken up." Ziva said in a rush, knowing that Tony hated being reminded of those horrible, lonely months. "I did ask you over to tell you something Ziva." Tony began. Ziva just waited, seemingly realizing this was hard for him to say. "The months I was without the team was agony, Ziva. Some of it because I missed Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, even McGee. The other half because I felt guilty about Jenny, I still do." Ziva reached over a squeezed his hand. "But most of all was the fear I was never going to going to be able to tell you how I felt about you, about us." Seeing Ziva was going say something, Tony rushed on. "I love you Ziva David, I love your laugh, your smile, the fact that you can and will kick my butt any day of the week. I realized I can't stand not knowing anymore. So, whatever your answer, I had to tell you, it wouldn't have been fair to either of us otherwise." When he didn't receive an answer, Tony quelled the disappointment and heartache that rose and stood to usher Ziva out.
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul,
Ziva thought her heart was going to burst with joy. Here was the man she had fallen for years ago; the one she convinced herself would never feel the same way, telling her he loved her! Ziva was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't see the look of pain cross Tony's face. It was gone in seconds. She was startled back to reality when a hand touched her shoulder and started to help her up. "Tony," Ziva started to say, but stopped when she saw his face, or lack of it, seeing as how he was avoiding looking at her. "I think you should go Ziva," Tony stated quietly. Ziva was confused, what had she done to upset Tony? "Tony, did I do something wrong?" Ziva questioned.
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul,
Tony let out a bitter laugh. "It's okay Officer David, you did the right thing. I mean who would want someone like me? Loud, Obnoxious, Reckless, you made a smart move. I'll be handing in my letter of resignation tomorrow morning." Ziva was shocked that Tony thought so little of himself that he'd think she didn't like him. Goodness knows I dropped enough clues. Well, that's what happens when your father disinherits you at age twelve, you're sent off to boarding school, you flip from job to job, and go though girls faster than a pencil machine eats pencils, a little voice in her head whispered. Not to mention the whole-Kate-died-in-front of him thing, Paula sacrificing herself to save your team, and who can forget Jenny, which lead to Agent Afloat. At that moment Ziva knew what to do.
Your beautiful soul, yeah
you might need time to think it over
but I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind,
Tony had just reached the door, half dragging Ziva with him, when she gave him a surprise. She spun him to face her, and crushed her lips to his. Tony froze, not believing what was happening. Ziva kissed him more intensely, and he gave her access to his mouth. They put all the frustration, tears, heartache, missed chances, laughs, smiles, secret looks, and lust, into that kiss. When they finally stopped, they were gasping for air. Tony smiled down at Ziva. "I kind of made a big fool of myself when you didn't answer, huh"? He admitted sheepishly. "Kind of," Ziva echoed laughing. Tony just smiled, and started where they'd left off.
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c'mon lets try
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold,
"Tony," Ziva asked hours later. "Hmm," came Tony's reply. "What did you mean when you said I wouldn't want someone like you?" Ziva repeated Tony's earlier statement. She could feel him tense next to her. Finally, he sighed and started to let out emotions he'd had bottled up, some for years. "I know that a lot of people see me as the joker, and to a point that's true. It's what I show the world so they don't bother to look any farther. It's fooled a lot of people. It should, I've been doing it since I was a kid." Ziva reached over and kissed his cheek, silently telling him to go on. "I know deep down that I'm not those things, and if I'm acting like that it's with good reason. Just once though I'd like a well done. And before you ask, yes, I was prepared to hand in my resignation, if things didn't work out between us."
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
you're the one I wanna chase
you're the one I wanna hold,
"Why, Tony, why would you risk everything for something you had no idea was going to be returned?" Tony just looked at her for a moment. "Now who's being the pessimistic?" he remarked. Ziva whacked his arm. "Aw, stop doing that," Tony whined. Ziva just shot him a look. "Because I didn't want to end up like Gibbs," Tony confessed. Ziva raised her eyebrows at this. "Gibbs fell in love with his partner, and when they broke up he shut himself off. He got a second chance to make things right and he doesn't do anything about it. Now he'll have to live with that for the rest of his life." A tear trailed down Tony's eye at the thought of Jenny. Ziva gave his hand a squeeze. "I promised myself, that if I was allowed a second chance, I wouldn't miss the chance at something great."
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too,
Ziva lay awake long after Tony had fallen asleep. Thinking about what he had said. She had made a similar promise to herself when she was sent back to Tel Aviv. She didn't think she would have had the nerve to act on it though. The thought of being back near him was what kept her going those months she was away. Once she saw him again, she convinced herself not to act on those feelings, fearing they wouldn't be returned. She knew Tony would hold the fact he was the one to make the first move over her head for a long time. Right before Ziva drifted off to sleep, she said a silent prayer to Jenny, asking her to watch over them. She could have sworn her voice told her she would and to look after Gibbs for her.
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide,
"So where do we go from here?" Ziva braved the next morning. Tony looked up at her with deer in the head light eyes, staring back at her. "I thought you said," Tony began. "I have no intention of breaking this off Tony," Ziva assured him. She saw the look of relief on his face. "What I meant is, are we going to tell everyone or wait until they figure it out for themselves?" Tony replied almost immediately. "Wait; let them figure it out for themselves." "They won't be happy that we kept this from them." Ziva warned. "I know and I don't care." They smiled at each other; both wondering what was to come, and knowing they'd over come it together.
You're the one I wanna chase
you’re the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah.
Written By: Valerie Portolano AKA SongBirdie. May 4th 2009