Work Text:
Birth Marks
by Dawn (Twilight)
Legolas POV
*`*`*`*
The unexpected humid air of this early fall evening was truly getting to me. A fine sheen of sweat covered my face, my clothing felt tight and my skin sticky; my hair felt limp and lifeless, hanging loosely about my shoulders.
Occasionally a cool breeze would sweep past my perch, high as I dare go in this lovely maple tree. All of this evening I had spent in its comfort, looking over the camp which was full of tents with foul smelling men. Of course that wasn't terribly fair of me, for they have yet to reach a river where they could properly bathe.
A slight ripple fluttered in my belly and I looked down at my expanded girth and smiled, patting my belly lightly. "I know you don't enjoy the smells either, but it is only another weeks journey to Rivendell and we shall see what Lord Elrond has to say about you."
The shrubs and bushes below me were being disturbed and I knew who it was. Well, it could be one of two people, either my beloved Aragorn or the somewhat annoying human healer that Aragorn insisted on bringing on this journey.
"I know you're up there."
A small smile upturned my lips as I scanned the clearing. My precious mate stood below, trying to see up into the heavy boughs of the tree.
"Please come down, Legolas. You know that it makes my heart sick to think of you up there alone, brooding." A small chuckle followed. "And I really don't want to have to climb up there and get you if you decide perhaps, due to your condition, you can't climb down."
I knew that Aragorn was goading me, but I played along nonetheless. It seems that wherever our little caravan made camp, at some point I would find a tree or cliff or some secluded spot to separate myself. And to be honest, I really wasn't sure why. Of course I was growing huge with Aragon's child, and perhaps I felt a little less like myself, but mostly I couldn't stand the smells and sounds. It seemed that everything grated my nerves these last few months.
"Perhaps I will just tell you I can not make it down just to see you climbing up." My small laugh echoed through the tree as I easily swung down and landed gracefully on my feet.
Aragorn turned to look at me, a small frown marring his handsome face. "You are not well, I will call Janith."
As he turned to leave, I swiftly grabbed his arm and turned my husband's body to face my own. "I am well, no need to awaken Janith."
That was too close to pleading, damn these emotions.
A small smile replaced the frown as Aragorn lovingly ran his hands over my strong shoulders and then down to rest on the bulge between us. "I see not why you dislike the healer."
"Because you are not the one he leers at." Oh no, the look that just crossed his face. "No, hold. All I mean is that I feel like an insect to be dissected when he looks at me, when he touches me. I far prefer the hands of this healer." And putting words to action, I lifted Aragorn's hand from my belly and kissed the palm, pressing my overheated face against the cool flesh.
"You are so warm. What can I do, beloved? Just tell me and I will do it." Aragorn looked so worried, his eyes roaming up and down my body, trying to find all the hurts.
"Truly, this is all normal. Do you not remember Elrond telling you that I would be like this as my time draws closer?"
A small nod and then a brilliant smile lit up Aragon's face. "You know, being King does offer some rewards." And then a mischievous glint reflected in his eyes as he gathered me close and walked us back to the main camp. A few soldiers standing guard saluted as we entered the first ring of tents, but I was no fool. I knew that they always knew where the king was, even if I myself had managed to slip away upon occasion.
Finally we entered the largest tent; the outside appeared as the others, but the inside was adorned in all manor of fine fabrics and plush pillows. A low table with two chairs on one side and a good sized bed, the biggest that would fit into our traveling carriages, on the other.
"Now, sit here and relax, my love. I shall return with haste."
I smiled at my departing mate and sank into the softness of the bed. I had to agree it was a bit more comfortable then the boughs of the trees, at least in my current state.
I looked down once again and rested my hand on my belly. Truly it was amazing to see my body change and grow with this new life and I had to admit that I found myself wondering what this child would look like; would it be male or female, dark or light?
Of course, Aragorn was hoping for a son. He was determined to never put me through a pregnancy again and looking back at the past several months, I could see my husband's point. Although, for the most part, I quiet enjoyed the sensations and experiences that my condition has given me.
Sure there was the sickness and strange food consumption and lets not forget the period when I could not seem to get enough of my beloved. Of course I was sure that Aragorn wasn't complaining about that phase.
Sadly now I'm too fat to enjoy much of anything and my poor husband had to abstain as well.
The tent flap pulled me from my downward thoughts, which was indeed good; I had no wish to be moping about. My husband came though with a covered tray and was followed by several others, including Janith. A small scrawl formed on it's own accord as my eyes meet Aragorn's.
"Tis just a quick look and I shall stay to make sure you are fully comfortable." I didn't see the look Aragorn gave the healer, but I did see the fright in Janith's eyes as he approached the bed.
The other's who had entered unburdened themselves and left just as quickly. Aragorn sat on the bed and patted the pillow, helping me lie down.
Swiftly my tunic was removed and my leggings were loosened and pulled down to reveal my belly. Even though I was still hot, a shudder racked my body and gooseflesh raised on my arms and chest.
Aragorn took my hand and slid down so he could talk into my ear. "You truly are a lovely sight." His other hand came to rest on my swelled flesh and rubbed in small soothing circles.
"My Lord."
The healer stood back from us, waiting. He stepped forward at Aragorn's nod and gently laid his hands where my beloved's had just rested. This touch was of course less personal and the hands roamed freely, squeezing the round mound and pressing pointy fingers into tender spots. But I was used to this and knew that Janith was just trying to see how big the baby had grown and what position it was in.
A slight noise escaped the healer's throat and I looked away from my husband in alarm.
"Tis fine, my Lord." The healer was quick to reassure Aragorn. "The baby is turning. Upon my next examination I shall have to check in more intimate areas."
I was truly not alarmed, for I had endured Janith's intimate examinations before, but a sudden thought occurred to me. "Will we not be in fair Rivendell by then?"
Aragorn smiled knowingly at me and the healer could only nod. "Yes, my Lord. I would dare say that we will and I'm sure Lord Elrond will want a look." He had a smug smile, but I would far prefer Lord Elrond to Janith.
"Hmm...I suppose he would." Aragorn interrupted my thoughts and Janith's hands moved higher, cupping my slightly swollen chest with both hands.
"It seems you are about the same size. I should think that you should grow no bigger here." To this news I was most relieved and could for the most part ignore the probing and pinching of my tender flesh. "I should think that within the next few weeks we should be able to stimulate some milk."
Oh joy.
Finally Janith stood back. "All seems well, I shall retire now." And he left quickly.
"Mmm... fresh milk." My husband laughed, squeezing my hand at his jest.
But I did not think it was funny and suddenly I could feel tears pressing at the back of my eyes. Oh these damnable emotions.
"Oh, love, please do not listen to me. I know not why I said that." The sheer look of horror on his handsome face was enough to make me laugh out right and the horror was replaced with a little puzzlement, but mostly understanding.
"Tis I who should be sorry. My moods still seem to be swinging dangerously." I pulled our entwined hands close to my face and kissed his tenderly.
He sat with me silently for several long moments and then bounded up and moved to the tray he brought with him. "I have a small surprise," he announced and moved toward the bed. "And you are in the right state of undress."
I knew not what he had planed, but sweet excitement rushed though me.
"Nothing too strenuous, my love." He sat his tray down and raked his eyes across my exposed flesh. "Sadly we will have to wait a few more weeks for that."
My overheated skin prickled with desire, but I knew he was right. The last time we tried I was so hot with passion, but it was quickly drenched with Aragon's first thrust and the overwhelming pain that encompassed my whole lower region. Janith, much to my despair, explained that the baby had grown too big and that when lovemaking became painful it was time to stop. Although we found others ways to satisfy ourselves, it became terribly frustrating for me and Aragorn could sense this. So we often just settled for kisses and cuddles.
"Now then, close your eyes." I did so immediately, so trusting in Aragorn's ability to make me feel better.
A cool cloth sat on my chest and then traveled down over my huge belly. I sighed in contentment as the cloth traveled all over my hot flesh, wiping away the sweat. Soon my whole body had been bathed and a fresh, clean night robe was pulled over my head. I sat up a little to help with my dressing and was glad the material was light and airy. Already I could feel an intense sleepiness wash over me and I had a sneaky feeling that this is just what my Aragorn had wanted. My hair seemed to be next on his list and he took his time combing it out and braiding it away from my face, with one final braid down the back to keep it from clinging to my neck.
Pillows were arranged around and behind me and a cool cup was placed in my hand. "I've had it chilling in the river all evening. I hope it's to your liking, my love."
He than produced a small plate, fresh fruit overflowing, the juices sloshing over and running down Aragorn's hands.
I took small sips from the tumbler and was pleasantly surprised at the clean, crisp taste. "Thank you, Aragorn."
He smiled sweetly, washing himself and putting on his own nightclothes. "I'm glad you seem more relaxed, my love. The next week will be hard travel for our band and I need to know that you are well."
"I am most comfortable." I could feel my love slide into our bed behind me, pulling me close and lightly laying his hand on my belly.
I reached for a slice of melon, savoring the taste, wiping my chin with the back of my hand.
Moments passed when finally my snack was consumed and the tumbler placed on the bedside table and my eyes glazed over in sleep, the constant rubbing of my husband's hand helping me into slumber.
*`*`*`*
The following days where spent on horseback and I, as always, traveled in a tight protective circle of smelly men. Much to my annoyance, my husband would travel more freely amongst the ranks. He would circle around several times throughout the day before finally riding next to me and the men seemed to disperse.
Upon seeing my unhappy face, Aragorn started with his fretting. "What is my love? Do you need to call a halt?"
"Nay, I am fine." Of course that was only partly true. I was tired and sore from riding, but I would not allow a halt to be called because of me. I knew they would be making camp within the next few hours and truly I just wanted to get to Rivendell and get out of my travel clothes and take a nice hot bath.
"I know that you don't like traveling thus, but I'm only concerned for you and our child. We know not what remains of the fell forces and before you even say, I know that you are quite capable. But, Love, please allow me to take care of you in your final weeks." Aragorn eyes shown with love and what was an over round elf to say?
"I know." It was all I needed to say, and it was amusing to watch Aragorn sputter. He was so sure that he was in for a fight.
We traveled on in silence, even past when I thought we would have halted and my aching backside and full bladder urged me to ask when we might stop.
"We are but a half days travel from Rivendell's borders, I had hoped to travel as far as possible," he looked at me then and held up his arm. All those near us stopped and those ahead soon heard the signal to halt.
"I need but just a minute," I said, sliding off my horse and walking toward the woods.
As I finished my business, I could hear Aragorn talking in a quick, but hushed voice. As I came out of the canopy of trees I could see him with one of his men. A few soldiers mounted and rode on ahead of us.
"A scout has spotted a band of orcs. They have learned our position." Aragorn advanced toward me, taking the reins of my horse and urged me up. "You must go. I shall meet you in Rivendell."
I was already protesting before I was seated. "I must stay with you."
He shook his head and his eyes seemed angry. "You must go. I'm sending Janith and ten men. You can circle to the west and enter Rivendell's border by dawn if you go now."
"But..."
Aragorn used the bridle to pull himself up. "Legolas, nay, you must go. I will be fine and I will meet you there. You must go and take care of our child." There was no arguing, so I lowered my eyes. His hand under my chin lifted my face and a fierce kiss was pressed against my lips. "Now, go quickly."
He jumped to the ground, his men already heading into the surrounding forest. Janith headed out after and Aragorn met my eyes once more before slapping my mare's hindquarters.
Once in the forest, I was enclosed once more with Janith riding next to me. I could hear the cries of battle behind and it took everything within me not to turn around.
After riding several leagues, a new sound caught my ears and I immediately reached for my bow. "Orcs," I cried. "They come from the west."
The men all drew their swords and even Janith held a weapon. "Please, my Lord. Up into the trees." He urged.
"How many, my Lord?" another called.
I reached for a branch and swung up, looking to the west. "I see at least thirty. They must have broken off from the main band."
All made ready and within minutes we were overrun. I shot arrow after arrow and the men fought with loud clashing of swords. Janith stayed close to the horses, fighting off any orc who strayed his way. The ground was littered with dead orcs and humans alike and I was out of arrows. Janith caught my eye and seemed to be imploring me to stay in the safety of the trees. But how could I with the battle raging just below me?
Even before I could descend, a shrill voice called out. "I smell an elf."
Two of the creatures broke off fighting and began to climb the tree I was perched in. Suddenly I remembered the baby I carried and I only looked for escape, easily leaping to a neighboring tree. Not to be deterred, the creatures howled and followed, one scurrying back down and the other continued to climb and jumped into the same tree I was in.
I thought about dropping to the ground and taking a stand, but at least ten orcs still battled below and I was sure I would be overcome as soon as I landed. My only recourse was to jump to another tree. Below, the creature hissed that I would never get away, just to come down and they would leave the rest of the men alone. I could feel the branches swaying as the other jumped into my tree, sneering and licking his lips. "Lookie at the pretty fat elf."
"I can taste him from here," the other screeched, scaling the tree I was in.
I jumped again, barely making the large leap, feeling the air rush from my lungs.
"Oh, we've got you now, pretty elf."
As I swung my legs up to get a better hold, a bony hand landed on my shoulder. "Gotcha." I pushed back, pressing against the smaller body, hoping to knock it out of the tree. Before me the other rose, it's nostrils flaring. "You smell sooo gooood. Whatcha got in that fat belly of yours?"
Before they could close in, I tried to climb higher, drawing my knife with one hand and holding onto the branch with the other. I thought I could hear Janith yelling; telling those left that his Lord was about to be lost.
I slashed anything that came into my sight, satisfied with the grunts of pain and blood dripping from my knife. Suddenly, the hand holding onto the limb was grabbed and it took a second for me to realize I was falling. I reached for anything that might keep me in the tree, but I only managed to grab the other fell creature and pulled him with me. It seemed like a long time and only seconds before my body hit the mossy ground below.
In order to protect the child and myself, I relaxed as much as possible and tried to land flat, not taking to much impact on any one part of my body. I stayed very still, having landed on my side, not the best way, but better than some. The orc that fell with me lay a few feet away, its neck slashed open from one of the men's swords. I heard a sound behind me, but I somehow knew it was not a threat. "My Lord?"
A frantic Janith reached my side and insisted I stay still, but I could hear the creature climbing down the tree. The battle around us was won, the remaining orc ran when I fell and a few men gave chase; but most stayed behind and now stood around us.
I lifted my head, feeling like I had no broken bones. The healer tried to push me back down, but I easily pushed off his assistance and stood on slightly wobbly legs. A strange burning twisted through my belly and I looked down, noticing blood on my leggings.
The creature hit the ground and shrieked, trying to get away. Before I could stop myself, rage swept through me and I stepped forward, to much protesting, and grabbed the creature by the head, swinging its body around and lifting my other arm. The satisfy snap and crunch of it's neck was the only sound before I let its body slide to the ground.
Before I could do anything else, think upon my actions, Janith rushed forward, pulling me away from the carnage, and bid me to sit below a large tree. "Please, my Lord, let me look you over."
He looked down at my bloody leggings and than back up to my eyes. I wasn't sure why he seemed worried, I felt fine and I could still feel the babe move within me. But it was hard to think, my head hurt and my side was sore, but even still, I was sure I was fine.
The remaining men went about piling the bodies of orcs and burying the four of their own that were lost. Janith had procured a few blankets and had me laid out before I could protest. I could hear him instructing one of the men to bring him some fresh water and some clean clothes from my saddlebag.
"Now, just be still and tell me if anything hurts." I nodded and allowed him to open my tunic. His hands roamed over my belly and I hissed when he hit a tender spot. The baby kicked madly, over and over, and the brief burning from before was back, bringing tears to my eyes. "I'm sorry. I shall try to be more gentle." His hands moved lower, pulling my boots and leggings off and covering me with a blanket. My soiled clothes where handed off and clean clothes and some bandages where set beside me. I hadn't realized that my body was shaking until Janith tucked the blanket closer around my shoulders. He was speaking with someone and then I could hear two horses riding off.
I raised my head to ask what was happening, but he shushed me with a kind smile and that's when I knew something was terribly wrong. "I've sent a messenger ahead to Lord Elrond and one to see how fares the rest of our men. We will rest here tonight and leave first thing in the morning. Do not worry, we are safe."
I wanted to question our safety, but I feared I was the reason we were staying instead of mounting up and moving forward to Rivendell. He pulled back the blanket from my left side and poured fresh water over my hip and thigh. I vaguely felt the stinging, but it seemed that the baby decided to be more active. I could feel the child moving around as if restless.
"You have a wound on your side, from a knife, I'm going to put on a salve to help you heal." Again I nodded, feeling the baby settle down and the cool touch of the healer. "I must check more intimately, my Lord. I must see if you are bleeding."
Bleeding?
"Janith?" My eyes closed as a swift wave of heat burned up my back, my head pounding in concert with my heart.
I could feel his hands between my thighs, pushing my legs aside so he could see. "Tis just a little blood." He was saying, but ringing in my ears made it hard to listen. I know he was calling for help, because someone placed a cold cloth on my brow and a warm hand pick up mine.
I looked as the man sat down, his back to Janith. It was Benfeld, Aragorn's first commander and a good friend to us both. "Rest easy, Legolas, all will be well. I will keep a good watch." His smiling face did little to relax me, but I did start to breathe easier once my legs were positioned back and the covers pulled down over me.
Janith washed his hands and disposed of the soiled bandages before coming to sit on my other side. He felt my neck and head, asking if my back hurt.
"No, but my belly feels odd and the baby was very active, but now..." My frighten eyes moved from one man to the other.
"Can you feel the babe?" Benfeld asked, taking the cloth from my brow and soaking it in cool water before wringing it out again and wiping my face.
"Yes." Another cloth was placed under my neck and my legs were raised, some packs placed under them.
"Then sleep now and heal, my friend. I will watch over you tonight." Benfeld rose and spoke quietly to Janith before bidding me goodnight.
"My Lord, you must rest." His eyes met mine and I tried to relax. "I will be here if you need me."
Despite his words, I tried to stay awake, to figure out what was happening around me, listening as the men spoke. But before long, I slipped into a deep healing sleep.
*`*`*`*
When I awoke, my body was stiff, but not unbearably so. Janith brought me a quick meal of fruit and bread before he examined my belly. I was uneasy, having not felt the babe move since falling asleep the night before.
Janith seemed uneasy as well; but as he poked and squeezed my round flesh, I felt a slight fluttering within. It was not the usual strong kicks and jabs of the baby, but it did put me more at ease.
As I was getting dressed for the day, I was handed a flap of bandage and Janith instructed me to place it in my undergarments. He said that if I bled anymore today, that the bandage would help keep me comfortable, but I suspected it was also to gage the amount of loss.
Later that morning I was helped into my saddle. Usually I prefer to ride without it, but today I was glad for the extra support. I waited, my mind not really taking in what was happening around me. Janith pulled his steed along side of mine, but today I was glad for his presence.
I shifted in my seat, feeling the unusual cloth against my flesh, but it was a small price to pay. When we stopped, I would be able to see if I did indeed bleed and it was somewhat of a comfort when we made our first halt and I found the bandage clean.
As the day grew on someone on horseback approached us from the west. Our little band stopped, waiting to see if we would need to move into cover, but I heard the signal before the soldiers. One of the messengers was returning. I, from my position in the middle, was blocked from seeing who had returned. Benfeld soon made his way back to me telling me that Lord Elrond was sending an escort and that we should meet up with them in the next hours.
"What word have you of the King?" I needed to know that my husband was safe.
"The battle was won, My Lord. He will meet us as planned." I was so relieved and my heart was lighter to know that he was well. Now my thoughts returned to our child and if I had done any harm.
A shadow of some foreboding was with me all throughout the morning and my need to reach Rivendell was great. I was sure that all would be well if I could be reunited with my mate and I felt that our child would be safe once we reached Lord Elrond.
"My Lord, are you well?" Janith's voice shook me from my thoughts. I hadn't even really realized that we now moved forward again.
"I will be." He smiled, but I could see his confusion and concern.
For the next hours we traveled in silence, waiting to meet up with our escort. Off into the distance I could hear horses and carriages. "They approach."
The men in the front of our group halted, sending one out to meet the advancing group.
I took the opportunity to dismount and look for a place to relieve myself. Janith was watchful, but gave me my privacy. I wanted to check the bandage; for the last several leagues, I could feel a small amount of wet stickiness and was taken back by the amount of bright red that had sunk into the crisp whiteness of the cloth.
The babe still moved within me, but I knew that this was not a good sign. Cleaning up the best I could, I went back to the horses and prepared to mount; but to my utter surprise, I nearly slid from the stirrup. If not for Janith, I would have landed in a heap on the dirt-covered road.
The galloping hooves of the fast approaching elves were nearly drowned out by the ringing in my ears.
"Legolas?" The panicked call of my name stopped the cacophony of sounds and soon my husband stooped over me.
"My Love, what has happened?" He demanded, but I could not seem to answer, my mouth dry and my eyes unable to adjust to the glare of sun over his right shoulder, blurring his worried face.
Janith lowered me the rest of the way to the ground and kneeled next to me, holding my wrist as Aragorn leaned in, kissing my lips frantically.
"I was so worried." I could feel his hot breath on my face. "I was shocked to find you not in Rivendell. The messenger arrived shortly after and I road out as soon as a new horse could be saddled." His hands ghosted over my face and down my front, as if he were unable to decide were to touch me. His eyes filled with tears as they settled on my belly. "Please tell me you are well."
"I fell." My words were blurted and strained, my eyes unable to hold my tears back.
"I know, Love. I should not have sent you ahead, I should have kept you safe." He ran his hands up my sides, looking for injury, and stopped over my hip.
I wanted to rebuff his words, give him some small measure of comfort. As I opened my mouth to tell him thus, a group of elves moved forward. Aragorn looked up briefly, before sweeping me up into his strong arms. "What are you doing?"
"We must get you situated in the carriage, than we can ride onward." I was deposited on the edge, hard wood biting into my tender side. Aragorn bounded up and lifted me again, moving me to a bedded area piled with comfortable looking blankets and pillows, a canopy over us to block the unusual heat.
Janith scurried in before the flap was pulled down, blocking out the noonday sun. A pack was handed though the small opening that was our only source of light. "I must check you again. I will be gentle."
His hand moved deftly under the blanket that my beloved had just pulled up. I felt him unlatching my tunic and laces, pulling open and down any garment in the way of his hands. He felt my belly and as he pressed the underside I felt a small stab of pain.
A small noise escaped me and Aragorn immediately moved closer. "What is wrong?"
"I can not be sure, but I fear for the child." Janith did not look at me, his eyes going directly to my mate, his King. "We must make haste to Lord Elrond."
Aragorn moved swiftly to the front, opening the flaps that separated us from the driver. I could not make out what he was saying, my mind numb. So lost in thought was I, that even the healers hand removing the bandage did not cause me to stir.
Soon the carriage lurched forward, moving at a fast clip but not so fast that I was jostled overly much.
My husband's small gasp focused my attention once again. He was helping Janith fold a fresh bandage and pressed it between my slightly bent legs. "Oh, Legolas."
Janith hands moved steadily, lacing my leggings and covering me with an extra blanket. I shivered again, feeling so cold.
My hand was squeezed and I tried to smile for my mate, but it was tight and forced.
What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?
"We will be there soon, within a few hours. Rest, Love." Aragorn petted my face and neck, kissing my nose and eyelids. "Do not be afraid. We will arrive soon."
Soft pillows were shoved under my knees and Janith held my wrist again. My heart beat in a frenzy and I worried that I could not get in enough air, the cool of the carriage becoming stifling hot.
"We will arrive soon. All is well." The strain of Aragorn's voice was my undoing. I turned my head away and soon wet, fat tears trailed my face.
*`*`*`*
A small jolt and then the carriage stopped. The flap was flipped aside and Aragorn slide out, pulling my limp body to the edge and then scooping me up before he ran up the steps of the main house.
Lord Elrond was on the steps waiting and rushed in after us, directing his son to a room of healing.
Tenderly, I was laid out, my head supported by a pile of plush pillows. Aragorn perched on the side by my head. Janith rushed in, talking all the while to Elrond. He was given some form of instruction and than slipped from the room.
"Legolas?" I looked into the gray eyes of my long time friend. "I will do all that I can."
Aragorn kissed my forehead as my clothes were stripped. Careful, elegant hands smoothed over my belly. The bandage was checked before it was disposed of and my hips now rested on a padding of extra sheets.
The Lord washed his hands in a basin, brought in by a Rine, a she- elf, who hovered in the corner of the room, waiting to be instructed.
My legs were gently bent as Elrond sat on the bed beside my hip. His fingertips brushed my opening and I shivered, not prepared for the tingling and pressure as his fingers breached me.
My husband began using his own fingertips to sooth and comfort, drawing small circles on my forearm and inner elbow. I turned my head to the side and his worried eyes met mine, but he said not a word.
"Has the babe moved today?" The lord asked. I nodded, unable to speak for fear of losing control of myself, the lump in my throat threatening to break loose.
The bed shifted as Elrond finished and rose to wash his hands, leaving my legs bent and bare. He talked briefly to the lady, who bowed before leaving, her long gown swishing as she walked.
Hands dried, the lord sat down again, resting one long hand on my belly. The silence stretched and then finally my legs were lowered and the heavy blanket pulled up to my chest.
"We shall wait and see."
Was that it?
My heart beat wildly again. I reached for Aragorn's hand seeking comfort from his strength.
"Janith will be bringing in a brew for you to drink." Elrond stood, looking at his son. Obviously some form of communication was occurring.
"You must drink it all and I shall warn you that it is bitter."
Aragorn stood now, patting my hand and kissing my forehead. "I shall return in a few moments."
I reached out for him as he moved away.
"Be at peace. I shall only be a moment." He assured, patting my hand once again.
Janith entered, a small tray balanced in his hands. Rine followed, taking a seat in a chair along the far wall.
"Ah, good." Elrond took the tray and sat it on my bedside table. A tumbler was filled with a pungent, dark liquid. "Drink and than rest. This will help you relax."
I took the cup, taking a small sip. The thick liquid coated my throat and slightly burned going down. I looked doubtfully at the tumbler.
"You must drink it, my Love. I shall return in a moment." My forehead was kissed again and all save the lady departed.
*~*~*~*
The room was cool and I was comfortable when I awoke. The windows had been opened and fresh, clean air circulated the room.
Aragorn was not with me. I remember him returning, sitting with me throughout the night and encouraging me to rest, to sleep if I could.
I shifted my head and noted the lady still sitting in the far corner. Rine caught my eye and rose quickly. "Can I get you something? Are you hungry?"
In fact, my stomach did not feel like it could hold food. It rumbled and rolled and every so often that burning feeling returned.
"Nay, my Lady." She smiled down at me, adjusting the blankets over my naked shoulders.
"Your husband will return shortly. He has only gone to eat at Lord Elrond insistence."
I sank further back into the comfort of the pillows, glad that Aragorn had taken some time to spend with his family and I wondered if any of his siblings would have arrived. I knew that my own father would arrive by the end of the week and Gimli within a few days from then.
They all coming to celebrate the birth of our child; but now I did not know if there would be a child to celebrate.
Over the last several hours, the babe's movements had decreased and I found myself rubbing my own belly in hopes of awakening some movement.
Some time had passed, then a soft knock sounded and Lord Elrond entered, followed by Aragorn. My husband balanced a plate and cutlery in one hand and a pitcher in the other.
"I'm pleased to see you awake." My love dropped a small kiss on my waiting lips and the plates sat aside. "Let me help you sit up." Pillows were piled generously behind me and small stitches of pain bolted around my belly.
"How are you feeling, Legolas?" Elrond sat in a chair that was placed beside the bed, while Aragorn went about setting out my dinner.
"Better." I said. Aragorn made a small noise, meeting my eyes. "A little tired and sore, but mostly frightened," I corrected.
Elrond moved to the edge of his seat. "I know you are frightened, there is no shame in that. I must confess that I have done all that I can. You continue to bleed and the baby grows weaker."
My breath was gone; no sound came out when I opened my mouth.
My husband slipped into the bed beside me and I buried my face in his hair, laying my head on his shoulder. "Shhh." He soothed, running calloused fingers though my hair. "We will get through this."
I shook my head, unable to comprehend. I would never get through the loss of my child.
"Come, eat and than we will talk more." Aragorn sat the plate on my lap, pouring a small amount of amber liquid into my tumbler. He handed me the cup, helping me raise the drink in my trembling hands to my lips.
The lord of the house stood, slipping into the hall with Rine.
"Please, Legolas. Eat and regain some strength."
He took the cup and placed it on the table. I took a few small bites of the sweet cake, not really interested in the rest of the food on my plate. Aragorn took the cutlery and began slicing the venison into small pieces, lifting a chunk to my lips.
I opened my mouth, allowing him to feed me bits. I could sense my mate's need to help me in some way.
He seemed satisfied with my consumption, not arguing when I held up my hand to indicate that I was full.
Aragorn cleaned up the remains of my dinner, placing the tray outside our door, and then returned to the bed. "I know that this news saddens your heart, but you must know that Adar will do all that he can."
I did know. Elrond had spent time assuring me that he would do what he could.
But would it be enough?
"Aragorn?" My love moved closer, his arm going over my shoulder and pulling me close.
I wanted to ask what would come next. I knew that he had spent time with his father and had discussed what was to come, but before I could question him, he began kissing my cheek, his other arm enfolding me in a tender embrace.
"Do not be afraid. All will be well."
I wished that I too could believe.
*`*`*`*
The following days were spent in this bed. I was not allowed to rise, to relieve myself, or bathe.
Aragorn had spent much time taking care of my needs; bathing me and helping me use the chamber pot. But mostly he would comfort me, allowing me to hold on to him and weep when it all became too much.
The child moved less and less and I could feel the babe slipping away. Today when I awoke, I knew that despite all our efforts, it would be to no avail. "Our time grows short."
Aragorn looked up from the book he was reading and the sadness of his expression made my heart flutter and skip.
I was determined that I would remain strong for my husband, as I knew that he had given that same oath.
Truly I did not want to break down again.
Surely I have no tears left to shed.
He rose from his chair, moving gracefully toward me with a small smile on his face. "I thought you were sleeping?"
I took his offered hand, feeling the bed sag as he sat next to me. "Adar was here already." Aragorn whispered. "You slept right through his examination."
"I can sleep no more." I looked to him, taking in the weary lines around his eyes and mouth. "You look as though you could use a rest."
He nodded, squeezing my hand. "I will rest. But not just yet." His hand snaked under my heavy blanket, coming to rest on my belly. "Can you feel him?"
Sadly I shook my head. "Nay, I can not."
He seemed to accept what I was saying. Only swallowing a few times before straightening up. "Adar thought that this might be the day." He stood and went to the door.
A brief moment later, Elrond and Rine entered, moving to the bed.
"Legolas," the lord's face was mournful. "We must deliver the child."
What? A fresh panic seized my heart
"Legolas. Look at me please." I heard my husband's words, but could not lift my head.
"Please, Love." Aragorn's voice was deep, husky, and almost weepy. "I love you more than anything. If I could take this hurt from you, I would."
"Legolas? The child is not going to live." Elrond's voice was soft, gentle, but I shook my head at his words. How could I allow this to happen?
"We will give you something to induce labor." Elrond nodded to the lady, who left the room. "We must deliver the child today."
"No." My head shot up. "No, you can't."
"We must." The lord explained. "Soon the child will be lost. Alive or no, you will still have to expel the babe."
My mind would not accept what I was hearing. My baby yet lived.
"Legolas, it will not be long. I know you can sense this." Elrond had perched on the side of the bed, pulling down my covers. His hands rested on my belly, his eyes closed in concentration.
Rine returned, Janith standing silently behind her.
Elrond opened his eyes, looking at me and then to his son. "I am truly sorry."
Aragorn hugged me close and although my eyes burned, no tears came.
A flurry of actively went on a round me, but I paid no heed. Aragorn laid me back against my pillow and Elrond moved back to me, a canister held in his hand.
He took my wrist, rubbing in a light salve and than moved down to rub the herbal concoction on the underside of my belly. "That will lessen your birthing pains. I will return in a few hours."
Aragorn followed his father as he exited. I could see Elrond pulling him close, speaking in his ear. My love nodded, and then closed the door, returning to the bed.
"I want you to rest. Soon the pain will come." He sank down into his chair, holding his head in his hands.
I so wanted to comfort him.
If only I had any words of comfort.
*`*`*`*
Hours past, the pain came and went. I could feel the babe descending, opening me.
Aragorn stayed close, helping me to shift my body and rubbing anything that hurt, my sides or neck.
Currently I lay on my side, my husband's talented hand firmly rubbing my lower back. He hummed softly, stoking up and then down.
We had so hoped that this would be a joyous time. I had dreamed of my child's birth, but never had I thought that this would have happened. Our sadness was palpable.
Elrond came to us throughout the day, sometimes alone and sometimes with the human healer, each time checking me to see if I here open enough to deliver our child. On this visit he pronounced me ready.
Aragorn helped move me onto my back, supporting my upper body with pillows. He fetched a basin, soaking a cloth to wipe my face. He looked to his father, eager to help but not sure how.
"Aragorn, why don't you sit on the bed?" He followed his father's instructions, taking my hand in his.
Elrond felt my belly, pressing gently downward. He spoke briefly to Janith, who left the room swiftly.
I didn't take notice to the healer's return. He handed something to Elrond. "I'm going to break your water."
The blanket was draped over my chest, calming my shudders. The lord pushed it up to my waist, helping to position my legs. "This will not hurt."
I caught sight of a long needle, a small hook on the end. He placed it at my opening and pushed in and upward. It was a strange sensation, but not painful. Soon a gush of liquid soaked the bedding. Janith rushed forward, clean sheets and padding at the ready. My lower region was gently lifted as the soiled cloth was replaced.
My belly felt odd, distorted somehow.
"With the next pain, push." Elrond said, placing the instrument on a nearby table.
I didn't have long to wait, soon the pain was upon me and I did as I was told, feeling the babe slide farther down.
I went on like this for hours, clinging to Aragorn's hand with each new pain.
Elrond checked my opening, still unable to feel the babe's head. "Help me shift him to his side." He told his son.
Strong hands lifted and turned my body, careful of my healing knife wound. Aragorn resumed my back rub and Janith rearranged my blanket. The cool air caressed by backside and I shuddered, feeling the next pain begin.
Elrond sat behind me, keeping his fingers inside as I tried to expel my baby. "Much better. I can feel the head."
My left leg was shifted toward my chest, the pains coming faster. An unbearable pressure twisted thought my lower belly.
"Oh."
"I can see the head." Elrond said. "Once more, Legolas."
Aragorn moved down, wanting to see his child come forth. "He has dark hair." He announced a moment later.
"Again." Elrond was pulling downward on the baby, the small shoulders slipping through and than quickly the rest of it's small body followed. "A girl."
I held my breath, hoping against hope to hear a cry. Aragorn stood; watching as his father cut the cord that still attached my daughter to me.
She was handed to Rine, who had entered a moment before. The lady was holding out a sheet. Aragorn followed her to a small table by the window. I watched as she cleaned off our child, clearing her tiny nose and mouth.
Time seemed to stand still. I could still feel the pains as my body pushed out my child's nourishment.
The baby was wrapped lightly in a small blanket and handed to my husband. He turned to me, fresh tears falling as he returned to my bed.
He cradled our daughter, rocking, kissing her tiny forehead.
The bottom of the bed was cleaned and new padding put down. Janith helped shift me onto my back, a few pillows placed behind to support me.
Elrond wrapped my chest tightly with a clean bandage. "That should help with reducing your milk production." He felt my belly one last time before helping me into a clean sleeping gown. "I'll be back to check on you within the hour."
They all left us. I could only watch as my husband unwrapped our child and counted her tiny toes. She had a thatch of dark hair and her tiny ears were slightly pointed. She was perfect.
Our eyes met. Aragorn bundled her back up and held her out for me. I reached out timidly, cradling her against my chest. "She's beautiful." My words were of my native tongue, unable to remember the common language.
"Of course. She is your daughter." Aragorn slid closer, reaching over to rub his fingers over our child's smooth cheek.
And that's when my tears fell, soon turning into great gulping sobs. My husband embraced us, rubbing my shoulder and arm as I continued to cry, helpless to stop.
We spoke not a word, choosing to study the small face, trying to memorize every detail.
Elrond returned some time later, insisting I drink a cup of tea. He felt my belly again, massaging my womb and encouraging it to go back to its former size.
Aragorn stepped out of the room, clearly needing a small break.
"If you choose to conceive again, you will be able to within the next year, perhaps less." I heard my friend's words, but I did not answer. I only held tightly to the tiny bundle still resting in my arms.
My eyes drooped, my body trying to recover. "Sleep," the lord encouraged. "Sleep and heal."
He left me. Aragorn appeared and took the babe, hugging her close. "Sleep, Legolas. I will be here when you awake."
I started to slip into rest when a sudden thought occurred. "Aragorn?"
"Yes, beloved?"
"Do not bury our child." I waited for his reply, resisting rest.
"I will not." His voice so soft I could hardly hear his reply. "When you awake and feel more recovered we'll discuss what needs to be done."
I let my eyes glaze over, my last thought being this is one hurt that sleep will never heal.
*`*`*`*
When I awoke, my husband was enjoying his breakfast. I watched as he ate and wondered if he had managed to rest.
I shifted up a little, feeling soreness from below and wincing with my movement. Aragorn was beside me quickly. "Did you rest well?"
I nodded, looking about our room.
"Do you want something to eat?"
Shaking my head, my eyes came back to his.
"Adar has taken her to prepare her. If you are feeling better, we can commend her soul to the Valar tomorrow."
I nodded, looking away, somehow unable to meet my husband gaze.
"Your father will arrive today."
I looked up then; I had forgotten that he was coming.
"I suspect you should be happy to see him." He smiled easily, plumping the pillows behind my back.
"I am looking forward to seeing him and Gimli as well."
"How about we get you up and into a nice hot bath? If you feel up to it, we can eat lunch with our family. They are all asking about you."
I was eager to get clean. Aragorn supported me as we walked to the bathing chamber. He helped me remove my nightclothes and chest wrapping and then into the waiting steamy water.
The scent was relaxing and the hot water soothed my hurts. Aragorn sat on the edge of the tub, rubbing my shoulders. "Would you like me to help you with your hair?"
"Hmm...that sounds nice." My mate looked about the small chamber, eyeing the various bottles and decanters. Finding the one he wanted, he took his time, smoothing the silky mixture over my hair. Soon his hands moved down over my tender chest and continued to my mostly flat belly.
We stayed that way for a while, until the water cooled and I was ready to get out. He helped me dry my body and hair and I took my time braiding it as he went to fetch me some clothes.
It was odd to fit into my normal clothes once again. "We still need to bind your chest, Love. Adar said he would give you something to dry up your milk."
I looked down at my chest. It was indeed a weird sensation. A small trail of liquid had escaped a weeping nipple and Aragorn gently wiped it away.
In moments I was wrapped tightly, my shirt pulled down to hide my still swollen chest.
"Come, lets go out to the garden and you can rest until your father arrives." We moved through the halls undisturbed. The few elves that we saw smiled politely, but did not engage us in conversation.
The sun was shinning brightly, the breeze cool and refreshing. I felt better just being amongst the trees and birds. He stopped under a large apple tree. Aragorn picked a piece of its fruit and took out his knife to cut me a piece. It was the sweetest, purest taste and my mouth delighted in its delicate flavor. We sat below the trees shelter and I relaxed, feeling its sorrow and comfort.
I must have dozed, because Aragorn was shaking my shoulder to wake me.
"Legolas, your father has arrived."
He helped me to my feet and we made our way to the common room. Aragorn's brothers and sister were seated around the hearth with his father. They took turns embracing me as we entered, offering small words of comfort.
I sat in the available chair. Aragorn stood behind me, his hands lingering in my hair.
"You look much better today. How is your pain?" Elrond rose, pouring drinks for all.
Arwen handed me a glass, kissing my cheek once again, her worried eyes traveling to my mate.
I held my drink, noting the vintage of the dark red wine. "A little soreness remains, but I feel better. Where is my Adar?"
"He is in the meeting room, looking at his grand daughter."
I rose, patting my husband's hand. "I shall return."
*`*`*`*
My father was sitting next to the small baby bed when I entered. He was gazing down at the small figure resting there.
"Ada?" He spun around and rose quickly, enveloping me in a tender embrace.
"Oh, Legolas." He held on tightly, his hand moving up and down my spine.
"I'm sorry, Ada." He stood back abruptly, his eyes clearly questioning, yet he did not let go of me.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You are not to blame." He walked me over to the settee and pushed me down, kneeling in front of me. "Never believe that you are to blame."
I wanted to dispute his words, my head already shaking in protest.
"You must believe this. Aragorn has no doubt told you already."
"He has. But Ada, I fell." He pulled me close again, petting my hair and back.
My shoulders shook.
"Yes, you fell. But it is still not your fault. Nor is it Aragorn's for sending you off."
I looked at him, startled. "Of course it is not Aragorn's fault. He could not have known that we would be attacked."
"And yet he believes." My father sat beside me, my eyes drawn to my child.
"It will get better, Legolas. Each day, you will see."
Aragorn entered, kneeling before me. "And I will be with you and you with me and we will help each other." He looked over to our daughter. "And we will never forget her, but the pain of her loss will fade because we have each other."
I closed my eyes, allowing my father to pull me closer. "See, you have Aragorn and your family and friends. And tomorrow we will celebrate her existence."
*`*`*`*
The morning dawned bright and clear. I rose and dressed in my royal robes quickly. Aragorn had not moved from our bed. He had spent most of the night holding me and speaking words of comfort.
I shook his shoulder and his eyes opened, roaming over my body. I knew it was strange for him to see me without my huge belly.
"Is it morning already?" He sat swiftly and I went to the wardrobe to collect his dress clothes and crown.
He dressed quietly, moving to the bathing chamber to take care of his morning routine.
We moved down the hall together, the house silent. I sat at the kitchen table, wanting to avoid the dining room. Not yet ready to face my family and friends.
Aragorn raided the pantry and soon had a plateful of fresh fruit and bread. We shared the plate, eating in silence.
A heavy footstep sounded in the hall and I turned to see my dearest friend, Gimli. He moved forward with a single mindedness and soon I found myself enfolded in his strong arms.
"I'm so sorry, laddie." His voice was rough and raw with emotion.
I was so sure I could make it through this day without crying, hoping to grieve alone. But silent sobs racked my frame as my friend held me tight.
His stout arm shifted behind me, grabbing my mate and pulling him into our embrace. "So very sorry."
I do not know how long we stayed this way, Gimli kneeling in front of me and Aragorn's body enfolding around my back.
After some time I looked over my friends shoulder to see my father and father in law standing part way into the kitchen, Elrond's children standing close behind, embracing each other.
"Tis time." My father said, approaching me. He held out his hand and I allowed him to pull me up. We walked slowly, Aragorn at my other side, to the garden.
Below the apple tree that had sheltered me the day before, laid my child. Her tiny body adorned in a pure white dress, wrapped loosely by a blanket that Arwen had lovingly made.
All others stopped a few paces behind, but I move forward and picked up her cool body, snuggling her close to my chest. I remember not the words spoken for her or the blessing my father preformed, only the feel of her in my arms.
Aragorn stood close beside me, resting his hand on her tiny chest. Soon we were left alone to say our goodbyes and a soft song of lament could be heard as our family went back to the house.
Aragorn allowed me a few moments alone with her. I spoke of my love for her and how I would see her again some day. My last words were of my regret of my failure.
My husband stepped closer, holding out his arms and I reluctantly handed over our child. He bid me to return up the path. "I will join you soon."
I left him with our baby, knowing that he would take care of the final deed.
Halfway back to the house, I encountered Gimli, sitting on a bench. He rose swiftly and took my hand, squeezing gently. "I hope you don't mind that I've waited for you."
I smiled a small smile and followed behind him. We stopped at his chamber and he hesitated before entering. "I have brought a gift, but I know not if you will still be in need of it."
He opened his door and my eyes where drawn to a beautiful hand carved cradle. It was lined with fine silks and a small pillow rested at the head.
"I've carved it myself, but the bedding is a gift from our hobbit friends. They regret not being able to meet us here, but had hoped to visit you at the White City."
I took in his words, running my hands along the smooth wood. "Tis a thoughtful gift and I am sure that it will be useful in the coming years." A slight tremble ran though me as I thought about what I had just said. I was frightened about the prospect of conceiving another child, but Elrond's words of assurance raced through my mind. He told me that we needed to only wait but a half-year and that I should not worry, that truly my child's death was not my fault that my body tried to continue giving her life.
"Aragorn will be pleased you think so. He was unsure when I showed him the cradle."
"Then I shall have to assure him." I said, turning to my friend. "I am glad you have come, Gimli."
He patted my back as we made our way to the dining hall. My family and friends were to gather there. Aragorn had returned and was seated close to his brothers. The small blanket and a bloom from the apple tree lay atop the large table.
My father stepped forward and led me to my husband. He placed a small kiss on my nose, a comforting gesture from my own childhood. Aragorn rose and embraced me.
I know not how we would get through the next days, but I felt so loved and a small measure of peace infolded me.
*`*`*`*
Four years later.
I sat on the mossy ground, leaning against the bark of my favorite tree. Aragorn and I planted it on the day of our marriage and it thrived and blossomed in my garden at Gondor.
The toddler sitting on my lap snuggled closer, his small face upturned, hands clutching his small blanket, enjoying his breakfast.
"Ouch. No biting." He nursed more vigorously before popping my nipple from his mouth and laying his head on my shoulder, a toothy grin pressed against my exposed skin.
I rubbed my slightly swollen belly, feeling the first fluttering of Rinon's sibling. I wondered as I did before, who this new child would look like.
Rinon was so much like his father in all but appearance. He had my golden hair and a slight frame, his ears a little more rounded than my precious daughter. Today was the day of her birth four years ago and I often wondered what she would look like now.
"Rinon, have I told you about the apple tree?" My son looked at me with such innocence, but the mischief shown in his light gray eyes.
"Tell 'bout Ar'nel." He bounced up and down on my lap. "I wuv me siser."
"Indeed, we all love Aranel." My husband's voice drifted from the entrance of my garden and he walked to us, sitting down and holding out his arms.
"Dada!" Our child squealed.
A small noise escaped Aragorn as he was pounced on and kissed fiercely on the cheek and neck. My love took a few minutes to play with Rinon and than leaned over to kiss me.
"Ada, tell 'bout Ar'nel." Our child bounded off his father's lap and ran to the young apple tree across the court. "Ar'nel twee."
"Yes." Aragorn stood, offering me a hand up. We walked arm in arm to her tree, my free hand resting on my new belly.
Aragorn stooped to brush some fallen leaves from the stone at the base, a beautifully engraved gift from Gimli.
"Your sister was the most beautiful baby. She looked so much like you, but for her dark hair." Aragorn snatched up our child, who squealed in delight as he was twirled around the court.
"When I see her, Dada?" They sank to the ground together, looking up into the early morning sky. I sat down with them, running my fingers over Rinon's tiny back and up through his fine golden hair.
Aragorn looked to me but I only shrugged, letting him handle this particular question.
"Well, you shall see her one day. When I cannot say. But I can tell you that she would have loved you very much. She would have loved being your big sister."
Rinon twisted around to look at me. "Ada say I be big brodder, Dada." He scooted closer, climbing into my lap and lowering his tiny head to kiss my expanding belly. "I wuv Alc'nor."
"Alcanor?" Aragorn questioned, but I shrugged again. "Indeed. And I know that you will love your new brother or sister and be a very good big brother." Aragorn patted our child's back, leaning in to give me another kiss.
"Aye." The tiny protestor pushed his way between us, kissing his dada and me in turn. "I go see my twee." And soon he was off and running across the court to a tiny walnut tree.
We both watched, I almost rising when Rinon attempted to climb up into the small limbs.
"He will be fine, Love." Aragorn kissed me once more. Watching as Ara, our child's day keeper, guided Rinon down and away to a new adventure.
"I won't let him fall." Then Aragorn kissed me again and pushed me back against the lush green ground. Desire sparked though my veins and I claimed my lover's lips as he proclaimed, "I will never let you fall."
The end