Work Text:
I'm Just Getting Fat
by Miss Mozell
In the morning I have grits and biscuits,
sausage, coffee cake and honey buns.
Then at lunch it's pizza and spaghetti,
shoveled down by the tons.
Supper brings on the pork chops and the baked potato,
candied yams and sugar loaded tea,
pie al la mode with a wedge of cheddar,
hardly satisfies me.
I'm just getting fat.
They know me down at Dunkin' Donuts,
Wonderburger, and the Taco Bell.
I try to eat more salads, but my cholest'rol's
really shot to hell.
At the cookie stalls in suburban malls
buying Snickerdoodles by the score.
And then I hit the pretzel stand,
and still I'm cravin' more.
I'm just getting fat.
Even salad bars can get me.
I can't stick to the carrots and greens.
Croutons, creamy dressings, and macaroni
load my plate with even more calories.
I'm just getting fat.
Some day I'll have to call Weight Watchers,
Buy a membership and hit the gym.
I'm sure I could interest Richards Simmons,
but I couldn't stand him.
Oh, the Slim Fast shakes could be what it takes
to get me down another size.
If all else fails there's Jenny Craig,
'cause I've finally realized--
I'm just getting fat.