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More Than Hero Worship

Summary:

Radar O'Reilly has idolized Hawkeye Pierce for as long as he can remember and valued his advice highly. Hawkeye blames himself when Radar is injured later and they row over Hawkeye's behavior in OR one day. They eventually reconcile, of course, and Radar asks Hawkeye to give him what advice he can on sex and women. Hawkeye finds it far more difficult than he ever imagined, finally having to ask the happily married BJ for help.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

MORE THAN HERO WORSHIP
By hgseeker

DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to 20th Century Fox except my imagination and this story.

Walter Eugene (aka “Radar”) O’Reilly, company clerk at the 4077th MASH in Ouijonbu, Republic of South Korea, worshipped Chief Surgeon Benjamin Franklin Pierce, aka “Hawkeye”, and hoped one day to be even half of what he saw in the illustrious, highly skilled surgeon. Not that he ever expected to go to medical school or anything; his main concern at the moment was to get advice about women … and considering how many romances Hawkeye had had, Radar naturally figured that if anyone knew about women, it would be him. Unfortunately at the moment, they were positively inundated with casualties and both had too much else on their minds to be able to discuss anything personal. However, Radar had never been one to give up easily, especially where the fair sex was concerned, so he vowed that just as soon as he possibly could, he was going to corner Hawkeye for that promised talk.

It hadn’t been that long since Hawkeye and BJ had given him the advice to go out and get himself a woman, if only a temporary one, and in the process of heading to Seoul to do just that, he had been wounded and the jeep he was driving badly damaged by North Korean mortar fire. Upon having been hit in his left shoulder by same and thrown from the jeep, he had blacked out and not woken up until after he had been transported back to the 4077th and operated on by Hawkeye.

Of course, he had had no idea that Hawkeye had blamed himself for his, Radar’s, being injured and had drunk himself into a stupor, which had resulted in his having had to call Major Winchester to fill in for him with another patient while he was totally and thoroughly sick. It still hurt when Radar recalled the talk he had had with Hawkeye in post-op that turned into a one-sided screaming match on the part of the surgeon.

He had learned later that Hawkeye had felt terrible for doing it and had discussed it with BJ; however, in the midst of that, Major Houlihan and Colonel Potter had read him the riot act, which was what had prompted him to attempt to go to Radar again and apologize. However, at that point, Radar had been too hurt and angry to see that and gave him a well-deserved dressing-down. It wasn’t until they had met again a few days later (and after a heart-to-heart talk with Colonel Potter which had helped him make the decision to reconcile with his now “fallen idol”), that they had managed to patch things up between them. It wasn’t every day that they switched drinks, that was for sure—and it was a rare sight indeed to see Hawkeye drinking Grape Nehi, although Radar had been known to drink beer occasionally before this.

A few days after he had been released, Hawkeye had come in and informed him that he had earned a Purple Heart for his injury; the surgeon had even pinned it on him himself and saluted him, something Hawkeye had rarely done with anyone. Radar had assured Hawkeye that he did not blame him for his injury and that he wanted them to be friends again … and told him that he would try not to be so idealistic and put him on a pedestal again. Still, a lot of what Hawkeye had said in the original tirade had been true; Radar knew that. What had gotten to him was his having said what he did about Radar himself and his feelings.

But he himself had put that behind him some time ago; still, Hawkeye wasn’t one to discuss his personal feelings with too many people, so not even Radar was sure whether or not the surgeon had been able to put it behind him yet. Perhaps he had discussed it with BJ or Colonel Potter, if anyone, but not with him. At the moment, though, Radar was more concerned with discussing women, how to get closer to them more quickly. He doubted he could do as Hawkeye did, but maybe modify it so it felt more comfortable for him.

It was roughly a week after the latest inundation of casualties that either of them found sufficien time to speak privately. Radar decided to see if he could catch Hawkeye as he was due to leave post-op that particular day, which was around 1800 hours. Radar was usually able to confide in his mother about most things, but this current problem was something he could only confide to another man … and liked to consider Hawkeye the big brother he had never had—and even now, he was everything Radar wished he could be.

He looked up from re-reading his mother’s latest letter as the post-op door opened and caught the step he recognized as well as he did his own. “Hawkeye?” he called out.

“Yes, Radar?” came the rich baritone voice.

“I need to talk with you about … something,” his voice trailed off.

“Such as?” Hawkeye prompted. “Women? Drinking? Not drinking? Bathing? Not bathing?”

“The—first one,” Radar forced out, voice barely audible.

“What about women?” the older man asked, taking a seat beside his young friend.

“What do they like guys to do? What do they like them to say? Things like that.”

“That’s all you want to know?” Hawkeye seemed incredulous.

“No, that’s just for starters,” Radar found himself confessing.

“Oh? What else did you want to know?”

“I don’t … just want to know what women like in general, but in … private matters,” the young corporal almost mumbled the last, literally talking into his chest as his face flamed crimson.

“Private matters? You mean sex?”

“Y-Yeah,” came the answering almost-mumble.

“Well … there are some things that will be difficult to explain, to put it mildly,” Hawkeye returned quietly, finding himself also fighting off a blush, which hadn’t happened to him as long as he could remember. It was one thing to act out love play or a given sex act, quite another to have to try to explain it to someone else without sounding either vulgar or overly clinical. But Radar was counting on him for advice, so he vowed to do the best he possibly could to help his young friend, however embarrassing it may turn out to be for him.

“I assume you know the—mechanics of … sex,” the surgeon made himself say.

“Sure; that’s not the problem. I just need to know—what to … do, what to … say and—how to act in order to get to … that point.”

“Well, I can’t say I know everything on the subject, but I’ll help you as much as I can,” Hawkeye assured his companion. “Too bad you aren’t asking about something medical, like how to do a given type of surgery or something. Then I wouldn’t have a problem … but sex …” This time his own voice trailed off. “Even I have trouble with it sometimes. But the first thing you must remember is that all women are individuals; what works for one may not work for another.”

“You mean, I have to play it by ear, take my cues from her?”

“That’s probably a good rule of thumb,” Hawkeye agreed. “Another thing to remember is to never try to force her into anything. Don’t do anything which she has not indicated to you by word or deed that she wants you to do.”

“What do women generally like guys to do to them … in love play, I mean?”

“Well, the ones I’ve known, they usually liked to be kissed on every inch of bare skin you can reach … but one of the most sensitive places on a woman’s body is on the nape of their neck. Other times simply a light caress in a sensitive spot will suffice, tentative until you know one way or the other what her preferences are. Still others like to have their lovers slowly, lovingly undress them, kissing or caressing the skin they uncover.”

“Okay, I’ve got that much. What else?” Radar had no way of writing this down at the moment, so he could only hope to be able to remember enough to do him good the next time he was in a romantic ituation with a girl which held the promise of more.

“Well, once their clothes are off, many I’ve known like being kissed from head to toe, lingering on the sensitive spots,” Hawkeye continued quietly. “Just where these spots are depends on the woman. Sometimes it’s on the back of the neck, other times it’s behind their ears or knees, between their shoulder blades … the junction between their neck and shoulder—or even between their …” Again, the surgeon’s voice trailed off, knowing he was getting into territory he doubted Radar was ready for just yet.

“Even between their what?” came the prompting question, showing that the younger man was about to prove him wrong.

Hawkeye decided to keep things above the waist for now, so he said, “Between their breasts. Many women like to have either a kiss, caress or stroking there.”

“What other things do they like … in that area?”

Hawkeye was glad it was getting toward dark since it was getting progressively harder for him to keep from blushing; even at that, the light would have to be turned on soon, otherwise they would be in pitch-black darkness.

“Sometimes they like to have their breasts – and nipples – kissed or caressed … or even–sucked,” the surgeon made himself say. The last thing he had expected was to have to play sex counselor, especially when he could have used one himself. “Of course, some women have … sensitive nipples, so you have to be careful not to hurt her or—bite,” he finished.

“It’s also best to have a romantic, comfortable, relaxing setting. If not a bedroom, perhaps a couch or comfortable chair,” he made himself continue. “It also helps if you’re both behind a door that you can lock so you aren’t both embarrassed by being discovered or caught by anyone … you don’t want to get caught by.”

Just then, Radar seemed to notice that it was getting dark and said, “Let’s stop for a minute while I turn on the light.”

However, a moment after he did so, Nurse Catherine Bigelow stuck her head through the post-op door and said, “Hawkeye, your kidney patient has excess drainage. You’d better check it.”

“Be right there,” he assured her. “Radar, I don’t know how long this is going to take, so if you want to continue this discussion later—”

“It’s okay, Hawk. I’ll wait, at least for now. If you don’t come back in an hour, we can finish the talk later,” Radar returned understandingly.

The surgeon got to his feet and quickly left the room with the post-op night nurse, leaving Radar to ponder all he had been told and figure out further questions he wanted to ask. He knew he was asking a lot of his friend and brother, and was fully aware that they might not be able to cover everything he needed to know, but what mattered was that he was learning from someone he loved and trusted, who would never lie to him or lead him astray.

Meanwhile, Radar returned to his mother’s letter and had just finished re-reading it when Hawkeye returned and resumed his seat beside him on his bed. He noted the time on the clock; it was 2130. They had talked for over two hours, and he considered himself enlightened on many things he had previously been totally in the dark about regarding women. Even at that, there was still a lot he didn’t know, so part of the time he had waited he had used to figure the questions he wanted to ask.

“Okay, I’m back. What else did you want to know?”

“First off, what was the problem with your patient?”

“Nothing drastic, but I think I might have not sutured something when I should have. I’m having Bigelow keep an eye on him until I can get back to him and fix it. Now, to get back to the subject: what else did you want to know?”

“You covered the top half of the body; what about the bottom half? That is, what do women like guys to do with the bottom half of their bodies in sex relations?”

It was more difficult for the doctor to hide his embarrassment with the light on, but he did his best. “They also like a man to hold their … backsides in their hands, if not—caress them. In addition, there
is something women like men to do that doesn’t involve sexual union – open their legs and caress their …” By this time Hawkeye’s face was positively flaming and he didn’t know how much further he would be able to take this conversation.

A lot of this would be easier to get across if he could demonstrate it; unfortunately Bigelow was the only woman nearby, and she wasn’t always willing to accommodate him—at least not as much as some of the other nurses were. But if things went much further, he would have to attempt what had previously been unthinkable for him, he was so much a “straight man”: demonstrate on Radar himself. Radar probably wouldn’t be too thrilled about the idea either, considering the times he had looked positively apprehensive, if not repulsed, by the prospect of being kissed or hugged by another man. If he was repulsed by that, Hawkeye could imagine how he would react if he even suggested sex with another man!

He had never been what one would call eloquent or articulate with words; his main skill was with a scalpel. But if one believed in something strongly enough, there was a greater likelihood of convincing another to go along with it. If he did attempt it, however, he would have to pretend that his companion was female, at least to a certain degree, or else he would most likely be unable to pull it off. In the meantime, however …

“As I was saying – there is a special place on a woman’s body, located between her legs and … outer genitalia called the ‘clitoris.’ Women often like to have it lightly caressed during love play or sex. I stress lightly, because it … is very sensitive, just like the head of our—male organ. In fact, it is the female equivalent. Also, if she is aroused, you’ll know it because she will have … natural lubrication in that area. That makes it easier for a man to either insert his fingers or his … you-know-what into her when the time comes.”

By this time, even Radar could see how uncomfortable this conversation was making his friend and decided not to ask too many more questions. It was almost 2330 anyway and getting late; there would hopefully be another opportunity for the rest of his questions to be answered in the near future. They both needed to get some sleep, particularly Hawkeye, if he was going to have to do another operation on his kidney patient any time soon.

“I think that’s enough for tonight, sir. Thanks a lot for all you told me. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, which makes me appreciate it all the more. You’ll never know how much you’ve helped me. I’ll let you know when I have more questions. We’d better get some sleep now, especially since I’ve got to be up at 0600 and you should probably get some sleep so you’ll be able to do your patient.”

Hawkeye was both glad and apprehensive at being let off the hook, but had to agree that he was tired and needed some sleep if he were going to do the best job possible with the second operation on his kidney patient. He also told himself to check all his other sutures while he was at it in order to ensure he wouldn’t have to go in again. He might even discuss at least some of this with Beej if his other friend was still awake when he returned to the Swamp.

“All right, if you’re sure …”

“I’m sure. Good night, sir. See you later.”

“Later,” Hawkeye returned, then patted Radar’s shoulder and left the latter’s combination bedroom/office. Upon arriving back at the Swamp, he noted that Beej was sound asleep, as was Charles, so he would have to somehow catch the former at a time when Charles was unlikely to walk in on them and insert some of his infamous witticisms. However, he did know that he would have to unload at least a little … but that was the nice thing about Beej; he didn’t give advice until and unless asked, just listened quietly until you were finished talking.

Just the same, Hawkeye could imagine how either of them would react if he mentioned what he had considered doing with Radar. For most, that would be taking hero worship way too far. Even at that, Beej would be more likely to understand; Charles would probably be horrified at the very idea, he was so conservative. Not to mention Potter, if he ever got wind of it. Oh well, enough of that. He had best go to bed and get as much sleep as he could, if only to make sure he did the best job possible with his patient.

It wasn’t until later the following day, after Hawkeye had repaired the necessary area of his patient’s kidney and checked his other sutures in said area, then his patient was again resting quietly in post-op with Nurse Bigelow again keeping an eye on him—and Charles was busy doing his rounds, while BJ had just finished his—which made this a perfect time to go back to the Swamp and discuss what he had done with Radar … both the talk and what he was considering doing.

“Beej, I need to talk to you privately,” he whispered urgently as he caught up with his friend who was also on his way back to the Swamp to write a letter to his wife.

“I was going to write Peg,” he told him. “Can’t it wait until I’m done with that?”

“I’m afraid not,” Hawkeye replied. “I don’t want to have to worry about Charles walking in on us because he’d never let me live it down.”

“Live what down?” Hunnicutt asked incredulously.

“I’ll tell you when we get back to the Swamp. Too many ears out here,” Pierce again whispered urgently, almost literally pulling BJ along with him.

“All right, if you say so,” Hunnicutt returned resignedly.

A short time later the two surgeons entered their tent and Hawkeye pulled down the shade over the top of the door, also latching it so no one could get in after them. Hunnicutt noticed all this and couldn’t help wondering why, but told himself that he should find out in the course of his talk with Hawkeye. At least he hoped he would, anyway. If not, he would simply have to come right out and ask.

They got themselves each a martini and sat down on Hawkeye’s bed next to each other … then after a long silence, Hunnicutt started the conversation. “All right, what’s so important that you’d lock the door and pull the shade down?”

“I … had a private talk with Radar a few days ago,” Pierce confessed.

“About the usual? Sex and women?”

“Yeah,” Hawkeye mumbled almost inaudibly; in Hunnicutt hadn’t known his friend so well, he would almost have sworn he was embarrassed.

“What exactly did he ask you and what did you tell him?”

Hawkeye could not bring himself to recount verbatim everything he had told Radar; it was difficult enough just giving him the … highlights, as it were. “What’s wrong with me, Beej? I even considered demonstrating what I meant—and on Radar, of all people! Am I turning queer or something?”

“Of course not, Hawk,” BJ assured his anxious friend, smiling reassuringly. “It was getting difficult for you to explain any more, so in desperation, you considered the first option to pop into your head. That’s all there is to it. Even for those of us experienced in the subject, sex is a very difficult thing to explain to someone else.”

“The problem is, he wants to know more, and I don’t know how I’m going to do it,” Hawkeye lamented, burying his suddenly burning face in his hands to hide his blush.

“You’ll think of something,” BJ tried to assure him.

“Like what?” Hawkeye threw back, still hiding his face from his friend’s knowing eyes.

“I don’t know,” BJ had to admit, glad that he wasn’t the one in Hawk’s position. Being someone’s idol was obviously very hard to live with, particularly in a situation like this. “But it might be a good idea to start thinking of other possible options now, while you’re calm and your head is clear.”

“All I can do is try,” Hawkeye tentatively promised, finally sitting up again.

BJ couldn’t help noting that his friend’s face was still somewhat flushed, but tactfully didn’t mention it, simply smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “So I suggest you start trying. Meanwhile, I’ve got a letter to write.”

“Thanks for listening, Beej,” Hawkeye smiled weakly before BJ moved to his own bed and gathered his writing materials to begin his letter to his wife and daughter.

“Think nothing of it. That’s what friends are for.”

A few moments later, BJ looked up and asked one last question. “When are you going to see Radar again?”

“We didn’t specify a time. I would wager it’ll happen just as soon as we’re both free long enough.”

“Well, good luck.” With that, Hunnicutt turned back to his letter and resumed writing. Even as he did so, however, he finished in his mind, You’re going to need it. I certainly don’t envy you. In fact I can’t help wondering just who’s going to be the one to explain “the facts of life” to Erin when the time comes!

To BJ’s consternation, however, he found himself on the receiving end of Hawkeye’s urgent request to assist him in advising Radar as to further things he needed to know in regards to pleasing a woman, both in and out of bed. He had found it just as difficult to talk about as Hawkeye, unfortunately, so he regretfully refused … at least at first. Only when Hawkeye reminded him that he would be likely to go with his original option of demonstrating what he meant on the young man himself (since it was unlikely—to put it mildly—that Hawkeye would be able to get any one of the nurses to help due to thenature of his request) did BJ agree to help him: but even then couldn’t guarantee how long, or even if, he would be of any help.

“Just help as much as you can,” Hawk had entreated, and so BJ had agreed. Now all they had to do was wait until Radar contacted Hawkeye again and said he was ready for further instruction. In the meantime, they did all they could to track down the latest information on the subject in order to be as well-armed as possible. Still, it was going to take several weeks to arrive at the very least, due to the uncertain mail service in wartime, and since Radar was unlikely to want to wait that long for help, he and BJ would simply have to muddle through as best they could.

It was a week before Radar called on Hawkeye again; this time, however, he had insurance. The young man looked askance at seeing BJ accompanying him until Hawkeye explained that since BJ was happily married, he was likely to be of some help in regards in how to treat women. The three sat down on Radar’s bed again and there was a pregnant silence before Radar managed to start the conversation.

“With all due respect, sirs, I’d like to get this over with.”

“Of course, Radar,” Hawkeye replied. “What else do you want to know?”

“What are the most romantic things a guy can do for a woman?”

“That depends on the woman,” Hawkeye began, but looked at BJ for further clarification.

“Some women like flowers, some like candy, some like romantic dinners or walks on the beach,” BJ elaborated. “Still others are content with a nice card and a kiss.”

“What do you do for your wife, sir?” Radar asked Hunnicutt, turning his head toward him.

“On Valentine’s Day or just in general?” BJ returned, noting out of the corner of his eye Hawk’s sigh of relief that the questions weren’t being addressed to him…at least not at the moment.

“Both,” Radar replied.

BJ sighed and began. “Well, let’s start with what I usually do for her on Valentine’s Day. The day starts when I bring her breakfast in bed, complete with a rosebud in a crystal vase, then while she’s eating, I take care of Erin. Once she’s showered and dressed, we have a nice long walk barefoot on the beach, where I have one arm around her and carrying Erin with the other; Peg just carries our shoes. Then we go back home and put Erin down for her nap, then Peg puts on some romantic music and we share a long, slow dance in each other’s arms. That evening, we go out for a romantic dinner after putting Erin with our regular sitter … and dance again after dinner.”

“Sounds nice, sir. What do you do ordinarily?”

“Just the kind of stuff a gentleman would do for a lady—opening doors for her, helping her on or off with a coat or jacket, rubbing her feet if they’re tired, or her shoulders if she’s tense, things like that. Of course, other times women like it best if you do their ordinary household chores for them—wash dishes, clothes, fix lunch or dinner, vacuum the rug, dust, take out the garbage …” BJ trailed off, smiling indulgently at the surprise at the young man’s face. “You’d be surprised what some women think is romantic behavior.”

“That’s for sure,” the young corporal remarked. “Is there anything else you can tell me?”

“I have a question for you this time,” BJ came back. “Can you remember anything your mother may have told you about nice things your father did for her while they were dating or after they were mar- ried, on special occasions like their anniversary or birthdays?”

“I’m afraid not, sir … at least not right off,” Radar returned apologetically. “They were only together a few years, from what I understand—and Dad died when I was just three. He was over ten years older than Mom, and was sixty-three when I was born.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask her anyway, since you write her fairly regularly, from what I understand,” BJ suggested.

“Thank you, sir. I’ll do that and let you know what she says,” Radar promised.

“If you like,” BJ replied. “But you don’t have to.”

“It’s the least I can do for all the help you’re giving me,” he insisted.

“All part of being a friend,” Hunnicutt gently dismissed. “Anything else you want to know?”

“Not at the moment,” Radar assured him. “Will you come again, sir?”

“If you like,” BJ repeated.

“It would help a lot,” Radar informed him. “After all, two friends’ advice is better than just one.”

Again, BJ noted Hawkeye’s relieved look but wasn’t so sure for himself, how well he would handle any questions other than the ones he had already answered—such as the ones Hawk had mentioned having to do with what a wife usually likes to have her husband do to her in showing physical affection. It was one thing to discuss sex in general, it was quite another to discuss one’s own sex life, even to helpa friend. He was sure it wouldn’t be any easier for him than it was for Hawkeye, but that was par for the course.

Before anyone could speak again, the phone rang shrilly and Radar leapt toward it in a single bound. “4077th MASH. What can I do for you?”

While he was busy, the two surgeons gratefully took their leave. Once they’d gotten out the door and headed for post-op, Hunnicutt confessed his own difficulty in answering the questions. “And to think these were just general questions, Hawk! What am I going to do if he starts asking really serious questions? I’ve never talked about my sex life with Peg …” Especially not with anyone else, he completed in his mind.

“I don’t think she’d mind, as long as you were helping someone … and if you can trust anyone to keep their mouth shut, it’s Radar,” Hawkeye reassured him.

“I suppose so,” BJ reluctantly conceded, “but it’s still not going to be easy to do.”

“Tell me about it,” Hawkeye heartily agreed. “As I said before, though, only answer what you feel you can answer. I’ll probably be able to fill in where necessary as long as I don’t have to be the one answering all the questions.”

“I hope so,” BJ sighed. “Now let’s get back to post-op.” With that, the pair pushed open the double doors and got back to their regular work.

As it turned out, several sessions were necessary, sandwiched in between their regular duties, over the next several weeks, until the items they had ordered for him had arrived. It wasn’t always easy to do, for obvious reasons and especially for BJ, but what mattered most was that they were helping Radar. Just the same, both Hawkeye and BJ hoped they would never have to endure such a thing again—or at least not until absolutely necessary.

Hawkeye gently reminded his friend that at some point Erin would have to be educated on the subject as well and that schools and teachers couldn’t cover everything, that parents would have to do at least some … and it wasn’t fair of BJ to expect Peg to do it all. Mainly because at some point she would need to know what to expect from a future husband (from a male point of view). Peg could only go so far with that.

Meanwhile, even once the items they had ordered had arrived, there would no doubt be further questions from Radar which Hawkeye and BJ had to be prepared to answer. For the time being, however, the items in question would be of immense help to them all. And BJ had naturally written his wife about what they were doing, feeling duty-bound to do so, convinced that she would be horrified … but was pleasantly surprised at her answer.

He even let Hawkeye read that part of the given letter and he gave his friend a knowing smile upon looking up after finishing it and handing it back to him. “See, Beej, I told you she’d understand.”

“I’m just hoping that Radar doesn’t have too many more questions. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to keep this up.”

“Tell me about it,” Hawkeye concurred. “But as she said, what matters is that we’re helping a friend.”

“Hawk, do you know if Radar has been able to use anything of what we’ve told him yet?” BJ wondered.

“Not that I know of, but I’m sure he will the first chance he gets.”

“He may decide to wait until he’s back home to do it,” Hunnicutt remarked.

“It’s possible,” Hawkeye agreed. “After all, wartime isn’t exactly conducive to a lasting romantic relationship. After all, look what happened to Margaret with her ex-husband. Their engagement was longer than their marriage.”

“Not surprising, considering that she went into it barely knowing him,” BJ returned. “I’m sure if she’d had time to get to know him beforehand, they might never have gotten married because she would have seen how wrong they were for each other. Just the same, she seemed quite idealistic going into it, seeming to expect a fairy tale ending—and one would think she would know better than to expect something like that, particularly in wartime.”

“We can only hope that Radar will be spared what she endured because of what we’re teaching him, because we don’t know how he will use the knowledge we’re giving him. We simply have to assume that—”

Just then, the object of their discussion burst into their tent. “Sirs, a lot of wounded are on the way. The Colonel suggests you get yourselves to OR on the double! This looks like it’s going to be a long one!”

“Where’s Charles?” Hawkeye asked.

“He’s already working in OR,” Radar replied. “And the Colonel’s scrubbing up.”

Both of the surgeons knew what this meant … that it was unlikely they would be able to continue their discussion any time soon, even as they jumped to their feet and followed Radar out. They would simply have to do it at the earliest possible time, once things calmed down—and pray that their luck would continue to hold out and that Charles wouldn’t walk in on them instructing Radar at some point. He would never let them live it down … and things were difficult enough for them as it was without that. Meanwhile, they needed to get to OR and do everything they could for as many as they could.

To the relief of both surgeons, the material they had ordered for Radar finally arrived, but after going over it, they knew that even as detailed as it was, at least for the time, the young man would surely still have numerous questions which they had to be prepared to answer … as best they could, at any the present, they were too wrapped up in follow-ups on their latest inundation of patients, but vowed to get together with Radar at the first possible opportunity and go over the material with him.

It was two weeks later that the time finally arrived; the two surgeons picked up the material from the desk in post-op and headed to the combination bedroom/office that served as Radar’s quarters. They found him sitting cross-legged on his bed writing a letter to his mother. He seemed quite engrossed in it, so they hesitated to disturb him. On the other hand, this was something just as important, something which could make the difference between his having a long, happy life with a loving spouse and remaining a life-long bachelor.

They waited patiently until the young corporal yawned and stretched and lifted his head. “Hawkeye, BJ! I had no idea you were there. Sorry, sirs!”

“Quite all right, Radar,” Hawkeye assured him. “Are you going to be free for a while? We’ve got the material we ordered for you and would like to discuss it … after you’ve gone over it, that is.”

“For the moment, I’m free,” he told them. “And that’s great that the stuff you ordered for me has arrived. Let me look at it.”

Hawkeye stepped forward and handed it to him, then seated himself on the end of Radar’s bunk; BJ fetched the chair from the desk and seated himself near them. Another long silence ensued as Radar perused the typed reports, some of which had illustrations … a few quite graphic, at least clinically speaking. But it was the psychological reports which delved into the emotional aspects of romantic and sexual relationships which they were most concerned about, for various reasons.

There were some points that they saw him blush crimson, but he made himself continue and even grab his pad of paper, setting his unfinished letter to his mother aside momentarily and make copious notes. Both of the surgeons watched this with increasing trepidation. The more notes Radar had, the more questions he would surely have for them. Hopefully they would be able to delay that moment, at least for a while, because it had been many weeks since Radar had promised to write his mother and ask about what she and his father had done while dating, how he had treated her and all that during special occasions, both before their marriage and after … see if he had found out anything which could help all concerned.

It was at least an hour before Radar got through all the stuff and there were several pages of notes covering questions he wanted to ask. However, Hawkeye had vowed while waiting to ask him if he had found out anything about his parents’ personal relationship in the weeks between now and their last meeting before they got involved in answering his questions about the material before him. Again there was a long silence while Radar got up enough nerve to speak, but even then Hawkeye spoke first.

“Before we get into your questions regarding the material, Radar, is there anything you can tell us about your parents’ personal relationship? Have you had a chance to ask your mother about her relationship with your father, both before and after their marriage, the things they did for each other, said to each other, even pet names they had for each other, stuff like that?”

“Uh … yeah,” Radar made himself say, so quietly that his companions barely heard him.

“Great. What did she say?”

“Well … to start at the beginning—she said Grandma Benson—her mother—had sent her to the store for something and Dad happened to be working behind the counter, stacking cans on a high shelf, standing halfway up a five-foot ladder. She called to him and he turned around; his eyes widened and he all but fell down the ladder trying to get to her to ask if there was anything he could do for her. She said he told her later that her smile and her eyes had addled his brains to such an extent that he could scarcely control the muscles of his legs, that he’d never seen any girl with such beautiful blue eyes or small, white, even teeth, much less such deeply pink lips. He even said that he’d not wanted to kiss a girl so much in his life, even if he didn’t know her from Adam.”

Hawkeye and BJ smiled; all too many romances—and marriages—had begun just like this. In fact, his own first meeting with Peg … He soon became lost in memories of the past, memories of a lovely girl with crystal blue eyes, cornsilk hair and the sweetest smile he’d ever seen, not to mention the tiniest waist and hands imaginable. A lovely girl who just seemed to become lovelier with each passing day and whom he had fast fallen head-over-heels in love with.

From the moment he had met her, he had known that Peg was the one woman meant for him, the only woman he ever wanted to hold, touch or kiss for his entire life. Not until Aggie O’Shea came along and began openly pursuing him did BJ even consider anyone else. If he hadn’t been married, he knew that he would have snapped her up like a shot. He’d never known anyone like her, and before they’d met, he’d been convinced that Peg was the only woman for him, but Aggie had almost literally turned his world upside down. He had managed not to cheat on Peg, but only by the barest of threads—and as he had told Hawkeye, the way Aggie made him feel, he hadn’t just wanted to be in bed with her, he’d wanted to be with her, period … But he shook his head fiercely and brought himself back to reality.

“What happened then?” he made himself say.

“He began asking around about her and eventually Grandma heard about it. She asked Mom what she knew about this young man who worked at the store who seemed very taken with her; Mom said absolutely nothing. ‘Well,’ she said then, ‘I suggest you learn something, because he asked me if he could ‘court’ you.’ ”

“Mom said she was so stunned she’d almost dropped the eggs she was holding. But he came over that afternoon after getting off work and took her to the community dance that evening. She said from the moment he had her in his arms she felt as if she belonged there for the rest of her life … and after the dance, he’d walked her home, holding her hand the whole way. Once he got to her house, he’d asked to see her again—then he’d leaned over and brushed his lips across hers before turning and leaving.

“She’d never been kissed in her life before, but just that brief touch of his lips stayed with her for days afterward. It was three days later that she’d had to go to the library to study and he offered to help her since he was good at the subject she was studying and she wasn’t. They stayed at the library until it closed and he walked her home again; carrying her books with one arm and holding her hand again with the other.

“This time when he got her home, he gently set her books aside and took her gently but firmly into his arms and kissed her for a long time. Mom said she didn’t remember breathing the whole time she was in his arms and scarcely missed it. Nor had she any idea that any man’s lips could be so warm and sweet … When he finally released her, he lifted her face to look deeply into her eyes and said, ‘Edna, I think I’m in love with you.’

“Mom said she was pretty sure she was feeling the same about him, but that things were progressing just a bit too rapidly for her taste, and besides, Grandma advised her not to rush into anything, especially since Dad was over ten years older than she and bound to be more experienced romantically. All the same, they eventually became a steady pair and after six months of dating, he asked her to marry him.

“Unfortunately this was shortly before the Depression hit, and Dad said even as much as he loved her, he didn’t have a steady job and didn’t want her to have to support him, especially since she was able to find a job when he couldn’t … a seamstress in a factory, sewing battle fatigue uniforms, even though it was technically peacetime. They still saw each other, but had to do things together that didn’t cost anything since he was almost always broke, not to mention only when she was off work and she wasn’t off much—and when she was, she was usually tired because of the long hours and her fingers sore from all the sewing. This was before sewing machines, so it had to be done by hand.”

Hawkeye hated to think how rough it must have been for her and had a healthy respect for the hours Edna Benson (she didn’t become Edna O’Reilly until the early 1930s when Eugene William O’Reilly managed to land a steady job as the manager of a general store in Ottumwa by investing his life savings in said store) must have spent at the needle; certainly there had been times where he had spent literally hours with either a scalpel or surgical needle and 3.0 silk in his hand to sew up incisions or wounds. Upon finishing, his fingers had often been so sore he could barely bend, flex or even grasp anything with them.

“When did your parents finally get married?” BJ asked.

“Mom said it was in the early thirties, 1932 or so. Dad couldn’t afford a real honeymoon, so they just went to Des Moines and got married there, then stayed in the bridal suite of the local hotel after having dinner in the restaurant there. Just the same, Mom said that the way he’d loved her that night made her forget their cheap surroundings, that the tender passion they’d shared together were more precious than any gold to her. She also remembered how he always loved to call her ‘Eddy’ and she always called him ‘Blue Eyes’ because he had the most beautiful blue eyes.”

“When did she find out she was pregnant with you?” Hawkeye interjected.

“About six months after they got married; I was born in May 1933. Dad was ecstatic when he learned Mom had had a son; this was long before the days when the doctor could determine the sex of a baby via ultrasound. He had to live for months wondering, hoping, praying …” Radar’s voice trailed off.

“Wouldn’t he have been just as happy with a daughter?” BJ put in.

“Dad was of the old school; he had always been taught that a man wasn’t a man unless he could father a son.”

“Ridiculous; we now know that it’s the man who determines what sex a child is. It’s wrong to blame the woman for not giving birth to a child of the ‘right’ gender. Besides, someone has to have daughters, or else the sons could never have sons,” BJ continued, unable to imagine his life without Erin in it … although he could all-too-easily imagine how tough he would make it for anyone who wanted to date or marry her. Of course, that was years in the future, but he still had no intention of allowing her to marry anyone who didn’t consider her every bit as precious a treasure as he and Peg did.

“I know that, sir; I’m just telling you what Mom told me,” Radar threw back.

“Of course. Sorry. Go on.”

“Mom said Dad gave her a dozen roses when I was born, but just one rose on her birthday, Christmas or their anniversary after that. Since he’d gotten to be fairly well off by this time, having already bought our family farm, I couldn’t help wondering why he couldn’t have given her more on those three special days--but Mom explained it like this: that Dad had only one heart to give and that when he gave her the single rose on her birthday, Christmas and their anniversary, he was giving her his heart all over again.”

“That’s beautiful,” Hawkeye returned quietly. “I remember my Dad doing things like that for my mother. He only stopped when she died, although he saw to it that there were fresh flowers on her grave every year on her birthday and their anniversary … and always her favorite, pink gladiolus, even when they weren’t in season. He sent to the state capitol for them, having a standing order at the best flower shop in the area nearest the cemetery where she was buried, although we usually visited her grave on Mother’s Day and he always let me pick out the flowers I wanted to give her. I always vowed that if I ever got married, I would love my wife exactly as he had loved his.”

By this time his voice was so quiet that Hawkeye was fairly sure that neither Beej nor Radar had heard the last statement he made, but their knowing smiles upon meeting his eyes once again dispelled that belief. What mattered was that Radar knew that his parents had truly loved each other, even if he had been too young to have seen it firsthand, since his father had died when he was just three.

“What happened when your father died?” Hawkeye inquired.

“He had a heart attack after trying to play with me; for a long time I blamed myself for his death. Mom finally managed to convince me that he’d had a bad heart for years and that it was none of my doing. Just the same, she said she’d cried for hours once the fact of his death had set in, that she’d never felt so empty, so alone, in her life … as if a part of her was missing. She even said she recalled how she’d held me on her lap at Dad’s funeral and that I’d reached up to brush her tears away, trying to comfort her even as I cried myself after we’d viewed him in his casket. It took years for her to adjust to his death; she said the only thing that kept her going was raising me to be a son my father could be proud of.”

“I’m sure he is,” the 4077’s Chief Surgeon smiled. “How could he not be, watching from Heaven as you learned, grew and developed as a person all these years?”

“Thank you, Hawk,” Radar returned quietly, blushing in spite of himself.

“I’m only speaking the truth,” the older man insisted. “You are the best type of son any father—or mother, for that matter—could reasonably hope for. Your mother is a lucky woman to have you for a son and we are lucky to have you as both company clerk and a friend.” With that, the two older men enfolded the younger in a group hug and the latter returned it with all his strength.

“Thank you both, sirs,” he returned shakily. “Now can we get to the material you ordered for me? After all, I’ve got a lot of questions and notes to go through.”

“Of course,” Hawkeye assured him, although he exchanged an apprehensive glance with BJ at the prospect of having to answer questions which would likely make the previous ones Radar had asked seem tame, but knew all they could do was their best. Even at that, they could just give him the knowledge; it was up to Radar himself as to just how he used it. Hawkeye truly prayed he would not have to resort to his earlier desperate option, demonstrating on the boy himself, but for the moment, all he and Beej could do was educate him to the best of their ability.

As it turned out, they only needed to answer roughly half his questions, but even that half had been roughly equivalent to the three straight days of surgery they had once had to perform at the height of hostilities some weeks ago ... in terms of difficulty and physical and emotional draining, at least. But the rest, however, Radar assured them that his mother should be able to answer them for him. In spite of themselves, they were relieved, although they certainly didn’t envy her the daunting task. Hawkeye even considered writing Edna O’Reilly at his earliest opportunity and warning her as to what her son was getting ready to do, if only so she could prepare herself as well as possible.

For the time being, though, they were simply thankful that they had been able to help their young friend and that they themselves had managed to come through the situation with both their friendship and Radar’s regard for them still intact. Now they could only hope to hear at some point that Radar was actually utilizing the knowledge he had gleaned from those closest to him to get himself a steady girlfriend, at the very least, if not a wife. At the moment, however, there was the rest of the war to get through, particularly what the next several months were sure to hold in terms of both physical and emotional trauma for both themselves and the casualties which were sure to come their way.

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author hgseeker.
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