Work Text:
Mourn
by Hergerbabe
The familiar sound of a light thud on the balcony caught Lex’s attention and he put his papers on the table. When the French windows didn’t open, Lex frowned and hurried over. Opening the window, he stepped out onto the balcony.
“Clark?” he called out quietly, glancing round as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Clark was bent over the wall, head on his arms. He looked tired and defeated and Lex’s chest tightened with worry.
“Baby?” Gently, Lex ran his hand over the broad, cape covered back.
“Oh Lex.” Clark stood up and wrapped his arms round the older man, burying his face in his neck. Lex held on tightly as tears trickled down his skin and his lover’s body heaved with barely contained sobs.
“I can’t do this anymore, I can’t,” Clark whispered, breath hitching on his tears.
Lex pulled back slowly and cupped Clark’s face. “Come inside, baby,” he said quietly, wiping tears from smooth skin. He took Clark’s hand and led him indoors, straight to the bathroom. Silently, Lex helped Clark take off his uniform and stripped himself before gently pushing his lover into the shower.
Carefully, he washed the younger man, stroking his skin soothingly until the trembling eased. He of all people knew how hard being Superman was on Clark, and Lex hated it when his lover came home broken like this, heart and soul devastated by not being able to save everyone.
Sometimes, he wanted to agree, to persuade Clark to give it all up; but deep down, Lex knew that that’s who Clark was, that he needed to help people. Lex knew he just had to be there to pick up the pieces when it all got too much.
Lex pulled Clark into his arms again under the hot water. “What happened?” he asked.
“A little girl died,” Clark whispered in a haunted voice, “I couldn’t…I couldn’t save her. I tried so hard and I couldn’t save her!”
“I know, love, I know,” Lex said calmly, running his hands up and down Clark’s back, “I know you did everything you could.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Clark snapped suddenly, pulling away, “When will it ever be enough?!”
“Clark, you do what you can, you help however you can and that’s plenty,” Lex said quietly, “The fact that you care makes it more than enough. Love, you’re the only one who expects you to be able to save everybody.” Clark’s shoulders slumped and Lex sighed. It was so hard to see his sweet lover so discouraging, to see him hurting.
“Tell that to the girl’s mother, Lex.” Clark walked out of the shower, drying himself off and disappearing out of the bathroom.
Sighing, Lex switched off the water and dried himself. Quietly, he padded into the bedroom where Clark was curled into a tight ball on their bed. Lex climbed onto the bed and sat, crossing his legs. He buried his fingers in thick, damp hair and rubbed gently.
“She knows you tried,” Lex whispered.
“I know,” Clark mumbled, “Why doesn’t it get easier, Lex?”
“Because you care, Clark. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t try.” Lex smiled softly as Clark looked up at him, eyes shining.
“I love you, Lex. why do you put up with this?”
“You made me care, love. You never gave up on me, and I’m never giving up on you,” Lex whispered, shifting to lie beside his lover.
“Tell me you love me,” Clark begged.
“Ah, Clark,” Lex leaned over for a gentle kiss, “You have no idea how much I love you.”
Clark snuggled up against him, “I think I have an idea.”
“Feel better?” Lex asked.
“A little,” Clark nodded.
“We’ll take some flowers to her grave, okay baby?” Lex knew from experience that Clark needed to mourn.
“Thank you,” Clark whispered.
Lex dropped a kiss on his lover’s forehead and pulled him close, knowing that it was going to be okay.
end