Work Text:
Next Time
by sashaquayum
It didn’t mean anything.
The lie came out of too forcefully, too fake but it does its job as a flash of hurt crosses John’s face. He knows the lie is just that – a lie. He’s not even trying to convince himself otherwise anymore. The kisses. The touches. Everything was too real and too meaningful and yet here he was lying through clenched teeth. His mother would be disappointed in him. A good person never lies, honey. She would say that almost everyday. He often used to stand in front of her, trying not to scream you mean a person should never be caught lying, right?! Because they lied. They were fake – his whole family, pretending to be perfect when in reality they were quite the opposite. He’d learnt from a very young age to lie convincingly, to provide an image of himself to others that wasn’t true. And yet he couldn’t do that with John. Because despite looking hurt, he also looks unconvinced. He just tells himself that next time he’ll be more convincing, because next time he’ll be ready. Except he can’t quite figure out why he’s thinking about a next time at all.
end