Work Text:
Incestuous Dimensional Rifts
by shananagin
Dick Grayson getting lucky wasn’t anything new.
Still, it’d been almost a week since he’d slept with anyone, and this guy had been good.
Bobby, the boy he had just woken up next to, was a metahuman with ice powers. He’d referred to himself as a mutant, but Dick had told him that there was no reason to be so down on himself. The word mutant had such negative connotations.
In any case, Dick decided that the ice thing was really, really good. And Bobby had liked Dick’s extreme flexibility a lot too.
It’d been a really great night.
The phone rang. Dick reached over Bobby to pick it up.
“…nngh?” he said quietly.
“Hello, Dick!” Tim said cheerily in his ear. “You promised me pancakes this morning! Do you have any guests over today?”
“Oh, man. I’m sorry, Tim, I’d forgotten.”
“That’s fine,” Tim said. “I can’t wait to meet him or her. Window or door?”
“Door,” Dick said. “Give me ten minutes.”
“Got it,” Tim said. “See you soon!”
Dick hung up the phone and shook Bobby awake gently.
“Hey,” he said. “My little brother’s coming over. I’m making pancakes. Want some?”
“Bwuh?” Bobby said.
Exactly ten minutes later, both Bobby and Dick were dressed, and Dick had started mixing the pancakes from scratch. He wasn’t at all surprised to hear Tim knock at exactly ten minutes past when he’d last called.
“Hey, Dick!” Tim said when Dick opened the door. Tim was dressed in his civilian clothes and carrying his backpack.
“Hey, Tim,” Dick said, ushering him into the apartment. “Tim, I’d like you to meet Bobby. Bobby, Tim.”
Bobby and Tim were staring at each other.
“Umm…guys?”
“No way,” Bobby breathed. “Timmy?”
“Yeah,” Tim said. “Do we know each other? I mean, you look really familiar, but I can’t place you.”
“My dad…he was found a long time ago wandering around with no memories. He was holding a picture of you with the name ‘Timmy’ scrawled on the back, and his underwear said Drake on them.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No,” Bobby said. “A few years later he met and married my mom. Then I happened. He’s been living with us ever since.”
“He died…or I thought he did, but that wasn’t that long ago.”
“Maybe we’re from different worlds? This guy I was fighting hit me with a blast of chartreuse light and I wound up over here,” Bobby said.
“I guess that could work.”
“So this means…”
“That we’re brothers,” Tim said.
“Wow,” Bobby said. “I’ve never had a brother. Are you a mutant too?”
“A what?”
“A…what’d you call them, Dick?” Bobby asked.
“Huh?” Dick said. He’d been watching the two of them reach their conclusion together calmly. “Oh, a metahuman. Tim isn’t one either.”
Bobby frowned. “Wait a minute,” he said. “Dick, you said Tim’s your little brother?”
“Oh, no,” Tim said. He collapsed into a chair and stuffed his arm into his mouth to keep from snickering.
“Adopted!” Dick said quickly. “We were both adopted by the same billionaire!”
Tim gave up. “Dick, I could have warned you that your loose habits would get you into this situation some day. You incestuous dog.”
“I don’t think that brothers work the same way as mathematics!” Dick said. “Your adopted brother and your half-brother from a different universe can sleep together and not be doing incest!”
“Hey, it’s not like we’re related by blood, right?” Bobby said. “And we didn’t know each other before hand.”
“I’m just giving him trouble,” Tim said. “If my two brothers want to sleep together, it’s okay with me.”
“I think it might end up being more of a one-time thing,” Dick said, glancing at Bobby.
Bobby nodded. “No offense, Dick, because, wow you’re good in bed—”
“A little T.M.I,” Tim said.
“Sorry,” Bobby told him, “But also, the situation is a little weird.”
“Maybe if we only get together a few times after this,” Dick said.
“Wow, Dick, you really can show restraint sometimes!” Tim said.
“Shut up, squirt,” Dick said, lightly whacking the back of Tim’s head. “Now, who wants pancakes?”
end