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Episode Summary: When Binghamton gets advance notice that a certain Admiral is about to spring a surprise inspection on the base, he feigns illness, and appoints McHale as acting Base Commander, to take the heat. -- from www.tv.com
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Carpenter saw Ensign Parker leaving Captain Binghamton’s office, plunger over his shoulder. He smirked. “Sinks still backed up at the Petty Officer’s Club, Ensign?” he asked in a taunting, sing-song voice.
Parker turned his mournful eyes on Carpenter. “Afraid so. The Skip’s told me to handle it.”
Carpenter chuckled and stepped to the side. He bowed and waved his arm with a flourish. “Then don’t let me keep you.”
“Thanks a lot,” Parker muttered and trudged away.
Carpenter looked around to be sure no one was coming into the outer office. He slipped inside Binghamton’s private office and saw McHale banging his head on Binghamton’s desk. He pulled the door closed behind him and locked it. “Don’t like being temporary base commander?” he asked brightly.
McHale stopped with his forehead resting against the edge of the desk. He gestured to the multiple phones around him. “They hardly ever stop ringing.”
Carpenter came to stand behind McHale. “Something always seems to be breaking down around here.” He massaged the back of McHale’s neck. “And your boys don’t help,” he added wryly.
McHale grunted and sat back. He rested the back of his head against Carpenter’s stomach. “Ahh…I never thought I’d feel sorry for Ol’ Leadbottom, but the constant ringing would get on anyone’s nerves.” He growled. “But it’s his fault I have to deal with all of this, pretending to be sick and trying to get me in trouble with Iron Pants Rafferty. Sometimes, I just wanna--”
“And you landed on your feet, as usual,” Carpenter interrupted smoothly. He started rubbing McHale’s shoulders. “Look on the bright side. Admiral Rafferty never saw the hula girls and thought Binghamton went island happy. He even made the Captain take a two week leave.”
“But meanwhile, I’m in charge.”
That was the closest Carpenter ever heard to a McHale whine. He patiently worked at the knots in McHale’s shoulders. “And knowing you, you’ll have everything fixed and running smoothly by the time he gets back.” He leaned in close to McHale’s ear. “The Captain will hate that.”
McHale gave a small smile. “That’s true.”
Carpenter ran his hands down McHale’s chest while nuzzling the side of his neck. “Especially when I mention how most of the base thinks you can do his job better than he can.”
McHale chuckled. “Evil, Lucky. Evil.”
“Of course, I don’t agree. It’ll just slip out in righteous indignation.”
“He’ll get all red in the face.” McHale copied Binghamton’s whiney inflection. “And tell you to shut up, you ninny.”
Carpenter slipped a hand inside McHale’s shirt. “Since the Captain’s not here,” he murmured against McHale’s skin.
McHale inhaled sharply. “Just what did you have in mind?”
“Well…”
One of the phones rang. McHale grabbed it and almost threw it across the room. “Commander McHale,” he barked into the receiver. His eyes got wide. “Parker what? Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.” He held it in front of him and stared at it dumbly. “I should’ve known,” he mumbled. “I just…I…I can’t do this, Lucky.”
Carpenter took the receiver from him and listened to the dial tone. He hung it up and gave McHale a squeeze. “Yes, you can.”
“Oh, geez. I miss my old freighter.”
Carpenter straightened up and took a step back. He went to unlock the door. “Come on.”
McHale rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. “All right.” He stood up and slid past Carpenter on his way out. “Later, Lucky,” he whispered.
Carpenter grinned. “Yeah, later.”