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372 days
by Lilithangel
372 days he'd knelt at Angel's feet, been fucked at Angel's command and watched as Angel and his team fell into temptation. He began to doubt the words of the Oracles at day 127 and stopped caring either way at day 256 realising that what mattered to them were prophecies and the Apocalypse, not a lowly vampire trapped in a nightmare he'd agreed to without really understanding what it meant.
He'd landed in Angel's lap, literally and begged to be taken in and punished for his actions. He didn't know if Angel believed him at all, but the other vampire was very quick to get a collar out and test his words.
He lost count of the number of men, women and demons he had service for Angel's amusement and advancement. Angel's team had believed Angel when he'd introduced Spike as his grandchilde and voluntary slave. Angel had told them all about the attempted rape of the slayer, with no mention of the soul, and they had agreed it was the best place to keep him.
Fred had objected a few times at first, but gave up when Spike never protested his treatment. The men merely watched with cool detachment and took full advantage of what was on offer. The green demon simply closed his eyes and had another drink slowly spiralling into alcoholism.
At day 304 Spike made the mistake of having hope again when Cordelia appeared to try and bring Angel back to the mission. For one moment Spike thought he saw a flicker of regret in Angel's eyes, but the next night Angel offered Spike to Duke Sebassis and the hope was gone for good.
When he healed from the attentions of the Duke Angel gifted him to all the members of the Black Thorn and Spike knew he was being used as the sweetener for Angel's membership. He didn't know if this was what the Oracles had wanted and it didn't matter if it was or not, not anymore.
He saw Angel with Connor; saw the way Angel looked on those he truly loved and knew it wouldn't ever be him.
They had told him after he'd sacrificed himself for Buffy that Angel needed him. That Angel was heading down a dangerous path that would release Angelus and bring on the Apocalypse. They told him that the only hope was to keep Angel on the edge of Angelus by releasing the very demonic desires Angel tried to repress. They told him to offer himself to Angel or everything he cared about would be destroyed.
They lied.
Angel stripped his dignity, his strength and his mind away in tiny pieces, all the time smiling and telling him it was all he was worth. And in the back of his eyes Spike saw Angelus smirking and
heard him repeating Angel's words. There was no reining in of Angelus because there was no difference between Angel and Angelus.
There was no saving of Spike and Spike wasn't saving the world. How could a slut save the world anyway?
* * * * *
Spike knelt at Angel's feet as he revealed his plan to his team, explaining everything he'd done to convince the Black Thorn of his sincerity. Spike stayed kneeing as Angel asked them all to trust him and help him bring down the Senior Partners on Earth. None of them could look at him but he couldn't find the energy to call them on it.
He kept silent as they all agreed to Angel's plan. He didn't speak when Angel lifted him to his feet apologising for what he'd had to do, knowing the Black Thorn were watching his every move, explaining that he hadn't really meant it.
"Yes you did," Spike replied. He dropped to his knees before the spell broke knowing Angel would prove him right soon enough. Whatever the reason for Angel's actions, at least in Spike's case, he'd enjoyed every minute.
After he'd saved the baby, killing many that he recognised from Angel's parties he went to the alley to meet whoever else survived.
He knocked Angel to the ground when the other vampire arrived. Standing above Angel their positions reversed for the first time in 372 days. For one brief moment he saw in Angel's eyes the
knowledge of what he'd done and why, an acknowledgement of Spike's sacrifice and maybe, almost, an apology.
Never trust a righteous man for he will trample everything in his path.
Spike turned and walked into the path of the oncoming army, broken but standing.
END